The Fixed Trilogy: Fixed on You, Found in You, Forever With You (60 page)

Maybe we’d be enemies then.
“I just don’t want to do it all alone.” My voice came out meek and I regretted defending myself. I didn’t owe her anything.

To make matters worse, Gwen pointed out my unnecessary words. “No need for explanations. All I need to know is when I start.”

“You’ll accept the position then?” I was already somewhat regretting my decision.

Gwen raised a brow. “You accept that I might be a bitch to work with?”

“For some crazy reason, yes, I do.” We had to work together, after all. Not be friends.

“Then I’m all yours.” This time her smile reached her eyes.

“Fantastic.”

***

Hudson was asleep when I arrived home hours later. It was disappointing—not just because he’d promised sexual favors, but because, after therapy, I’d been eager to connect with him. I considered waking him, but a part of me couldn’t help feeling like he might be avoiding me. There was no reason to believe that. Just that he rarely went to bed without me and my insecurities were on high alert.

Instead of giving in to them, I sat on the edge of the bed, closed my eyes and ran a few mantras through my head. The repetition settled me, but I longed for more. From his breathing pattern, I knew he was sound asleep behind me. Still, I was eager to start the communication that Lauren had suggested. Without bothering to undress, I stretched out next to him and ran my fingers through his sleep-tussled hair.

“I’m scared, H.”

His breathing didn’t alter.

“About lots of things. Little things. Mostly, I’m worried about Celia—that I’m not strong enough to not let her get to me. Especially because she’s always been the girl that you should be with. In my head, she’s the one I picture you with. Everyone does. She’s perfect for you, from her manicured nails to her pedigreed upbringing. And, at the moment anyway, she doesn’t have a police record.” I smiled to myself, fantasizing about Celia pushing far enough that she’d possibly get a restraint against her.

Of course, she was a Werner. Her money and connections would never let that happen. I shared that fear with Hudson too.

It was so simple to tell him these things when he was sleeping. Not because it was difficult to talk to him when he was awake, but because his presence dominated so completely that I didn’t feel the need. It was when I was away from him that my thoughts tortured me most.

“I believe in us, H. More than anything. But do you? You used to tell me you were incapable of love. Do you still believe that? Or do you love me as much as I believe you do?” He curled into me, but it seemed like a reflexive move, not a conscious one.

As he turned, his phone fell into my lap. He must have fallen asleep with it in his hand. Had he been waiting for my call? I’d texted around midnight saying I’d be late. Had he gotten that message?

Curious, I swiped his screen to unlock it. My text message had been marked unread—he must have fallen asleep before that. No wonder he hadn’t texted back.

It was mostly accidental that I hit the recent calls button. At least, I told myself it was an accident. Immediately, the name on the last call caught my eye—
Norma Anders
. They’d talked for twenty-seven minutes, the call ending at nine-fourteen.

I reached over Hudson to put the phone on the nightstand then settled into his arms. He’d probably been talking to Norma about Gwen and her new position at the club, I told myself. Except Gwen hadn’t left the club until ten. She hadn’t made any calls or dismissed herself during that time, so Norma and Hudson couldn’t have known I’d offered the job to Gwen at the time of the call.

And the thing that really didn’t fit into the equation—why was Hudson the one who called Norma?

They work together. They were discussing business, of course.
Because wasn’t nine at night exactly the time that a typical executive talked to his female financial manager? On a cell phone? From his bed?

Chapter Ten

I woke up with Hudson’s head between my thighs.

“Mmm.” His breath along my folds sent chills down my spine. I peered down at him through half-open lids, wondering how he’d gotten me bare and spread without rousing me until now.

He caught my gaze. “You didn’t wake me up last night.” He licked along my seam. “And I owed you.” His words were gravelly. I loved that I was the first person he spoke to most mornings—that his just-woke-up voice belonged to me.

And I loved what he was doing with his tongue.

I shivered as he caressed my clit with a long velvety stroke.

His head popped up suddenly. “Or would you rather I let you sleep?”

“No! Don’t stop.” I pushed him back down and stretched my arms above my head.

Hudson chuckled lightly. Then he attacked my nub with earnestness, in turns sucking and licking and swirling his tongue, exciting every nerve in my body. My insides clenched, and a trickle of moisture pooled in my channel. Overcome with pleasure, I wriggled underneath him, but his hands grasped under my thighs, keeping me still and at his mercy.

My breath came out in soft, jagged moans, and then in a gasp as his tongue moved lower, plunging into my hole. “Oh god, Hudson.” My hands flew to his hair. Though I’d never dream to control his actions—he’d do a much better job than I would—I loved pulling and tugging at his strands while he drove me mad with oral attention. While he fucked me with his tongue.

Then his mouth was back at my clit, flicking and dancing along my tight ball of nerves, and it was his fingers inside me, rubbing along my wall, stroking me in just the right place.

“Fuck yeah, right there.” My leg muscles tightened and my lower belly tensed as the pleasure built within me. The first wave of climax washed over me unexpectedly, much faster than I wanted it to.

“It’s not enough,” Hudson growled. “I need you quivering and out of your mind.”

I couldn’t argue if I wanted.

He renewed his assault with invigorated passion, adding a third finger, stretching and filling me with skilled strokes. He reached his other hand up to massage my breast through my clothes. I ached to feel him skin-on-skin but didn’t want to interrupt his rhythm to undress. Instead, I arched into his kneading palm while my hips bucked under his artful ministrations.

Damn, I was soaring again, so soon. My legs shook, my knees knocking against Hudson’s head as I tried to hold on. Then, with a half-sob, half-yelp, my orgasm burst through me. Stars shot across my vision and my entire body trembled while I came and came over Hudson’s hand.

He fed on me while I settled, teasing my pussy until the last waves of my release shuddered through my system.

“You’re welcome.” Hudson was up and off the bed before I could regain thought process.

I reached after him. “Where are you going? I need to return the favor.” Though my limbs were mush, and my mind already skirting the line between consciousness and post-orgasm coma.

“That wasn’t part of the deal. And besides, as incredible as that sounds, I have an early meeting to get to.” He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. “What time did you get in last night?”

“Three-ish,” I mumbled, still in a haze.

Hudson pulled the covers over me. “Go back to sleep, then. I’m sorry I woke you.”

“I’m not.”

I must have dozed because Hudson had already showered when I finally got up and padded into the bathroom. I yawned a, “nice view” as I passed Hudson shaving in a towel at his sink.

“You slept in your clothes.”

“But I somehow seem to be missing my panties.” I flashed my bare ass to remind him. “And yeah, I was too tired last night to get undressed.”

He grinned. “You should have woken me. I would have helped.”

“Nah, you looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Trust me, it wouldn’t have been disturbing. It’s disturbing now because I can’t have you the way I want you.” His dark gaze met mine in the mirror. “I thought you were going back to sleep.”

“I will. Nature called.” And I wanted to see him. His phone call to Norma nagged at me, and, in an effort to take Lauren’s advice, I thought I should communicate my feelings about it. Hell, even without Lauren’s advice, I’d still be eager to confront him.

I started past him, figuring I’d talk to him when he was done in the bathroom. Or at least when he was dressed and the sight of his body with a measly towel around him wasn’t such a distraction.

But Hudson reached his arm out and caught me. “Hey.”

I could never resist his touch. I settled into his embrace, inhaling his just-washed smell.

He lowered a clean-shaven cheek to my head. “I missed you.”

I smiled against his chest. “I missed you too.” So much. Missed being in his arms, missed touching and cuddling, missed feeling like we were completely together and safe from the world.

My fingers trailed against his bare skin, and I felt the towel tent up between us.

“Christ.” Hudson pushed me away with a reluctant groan. “I want you, but I really don’t have time to deal with you properly this morning.”

“I wasn’t the one who woke me up.” I sighed, recalling the good-morning delight. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Hudson looked after me with clouded eyes. “Maybe I can be late.”

“No, no. You be on time like a good businessman.” I waggled a finger at him. “How about I follow you around while you get ready and we can just talk?”

“I’d like that. I’ve missed talking to you too.” He returned his focus to the mirror, applying cream to the still unshaven cheek. “Oh, I got your note you left with Celia’s business card. My lawyer said we should save anything we find like that. As potential evidence. So if you get anything else, let me know.”

“Believe me, I’ll tell you.” I sat on the edge of the tub and braced both of my hands on the porcelain at either side of me. “There’s nothing he suggests we can do about it, though?”

“No. Not yet.” His tone was more serious than I liked. “Are you sure you don’t want to leave town?”

“I’m sure.” But I did think about it for half a second. Getting away had its appeal. But being apart from Hudson was the last thing I needed at the moment. Especially with all the women in his life that wanted me gone.

My thoughts flashed again to the name I’d seen on his call log. “Though I bet Norma wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t around.”

“Norma again?” He grimaced. “What’s brought her up?”

“You’re going to laugh.” Or he was going to be pissed off. Taking a deep breath, I let it spill. “You fell asleep with your phone and I checked to see if you had gotten my text. Then…oh god, don’t hate me.”

“What did you do?” His tone was curious.

I lowered my gaze. “I checked your recent calls. I saw you talked to Norma.”

When I peeked up, I found he was smiling. “Let me guess—that bothers you?”

His amusement erased my hesitation. “You called her at eight-something at night. From your bed.”

This time, he laughed. “Come here.”

I didn’t move, infuriated by his response.

He composed himself and turned to face me, holding his hand out as he had before. “Alayna, come here.”

Sighing, I went to him. “I told you I was always going to ask about her.”

“Yes, you did.” Hudson wrapped his arms around my waist and settled his forehead against mine. “It was business. I needed to get some figures together for the meeting this morning, and the ones she’d sent me earlier in the day didn’t add up.”

“It was business,” I repeated, relaxing into him. “Always business. Always the excuse.” Asking him didn’t really make a difference. I knew what he’d say. But it would nag at me whether I voiced it or not. Speaking up gave me the chance to hear his story stay the same, one of the bonuses of communicating.

I pulled my head back to see his face and found his grin was back. “Why are you smiling at me?”

“Because I adore it when you’re jealous.” He circled my nose with his. “You know this.”

“Shut up. I hate it. I can’t believe you like seeing me crazy.”

“I like seeing that you care.”

I didn’t know if I should laugh or be concerned. Why would he need my reassurance? “I love you. You know that.” Hadn’t I proven that time and again?

“Yes, I know.” He tightened his grip around me. “Your jealousy shows me your words are true. It’s nice. Keep being jealous. Or crazy, if that’s what you want to call it.”

“You’re so weird.” I ducked away as he bent to kiss me. “You’re going to get shaving cream all over me.”

“I don’t care.” This time when he came toward me, I met his lips. He kissed me sweetly and tenderly, yet I could feel he was holding back, trying to not get carried away with his passion when he had a schedule to keep.

I wasn’t on a schedule though, and I liked kissing him. I put my hands around his neck and pulled him closer, deeper, moving my tongue in further to play with his.

He had to push me away. “I can’t have you this close anymore.” He swatted my behind as I walked back toward my spot at the edge of the tub.

“I’m sorry I snooped.” But I wasn’t all that sorry. Not anymore. It had earned me a fabulous make-out session that I didn’t regret in the least.

Hudson turned back to the mirror. “Don’t be sorry. You know I have no secrets.” He paused. “Well.” He kept his eyes down as he washed his razor. “You know I don’t care if you snoop.”

My stomach dropped, as if I was coming down the hill of a roller coaster. “What do you mean by that?” I moistened my suddenly dry mouth. “Do you have secrets you aren’t telling me about?”

Without looking up, he shook his head. “Of course not.” He turned to face me. “I simply meant that we can never know everything about each other. Can we?”

“But we can try.”

“Yes. We can try.”

We sat a few seconds in awkward silence with him leaning against the back of the counter and I on the edge of the tub. There was something more beneath his statement. Something dark and heavy. I was both drawn to it and turned off all at once. Maybe he was referring to the details of the things he’d done to people in his past. I’d heard some of his stories—none of them pretty. I never expected he’d share each and every past guilt. It would be cruel to want him to relive his pain. I certainly hadn’t told him every one of my past indiscretions.

But what if there was something else…something new, something present. Were there secrets that he kept from me that were relevant to us?

How could I ever know?

“Speaking of Norma—” He was the one to end the weirdness. “How did your interview with Gwenyth go?”

Talking business was the perfect escape from the worry that was edging into our pleasant morning. I jumped right in. “I offered her the job, and she accepted. She’s leaving Eighty-Eighth Floor without notice. They knew she was trying to leave, it seems, so she’s working today as her last shift there and will be at The Sky Launch tonight.”

I hadn’t realized how excited I was about having a partner until right then. Wow. I was going to be the manager of The Sky Launch. And I wouldn’t fail because I had a good team—Hudson, Gwen, and a slew of other great assistants. Why hadn’t I let this sink in before now?

“Congratulations!” Hudson caught my enthusiasm. “I’m glad you hit it off.”

I thought back to the strange interaction Gwen and I had the night before. “I wouldn’t say we hit it off, exactly. Challenged each other is more like it. But she’ll be good for the club. Do you know why she wanted to leave Eighty-Eighth so quickly?”

“I don’t.” He turned back to the mirror and wiped off the remaining shaving cream from his neck with a face towel. “Did you ask her?”

I kept my eyes down and traced the floor’s tile pattern with my big toe. “She said it was personal. I thought you might know more. Because of Norma.” Was she the source of his secret?

“If Norma knows, she didn’t share.” He set down the towel and turned toward me. “Or if she shared, I wasn’t paying any attention.”

I grinned, somewhat mollified. “I like to hear that you don’t always pay attention to Norma Anders.” I slid my gaze over him. He was so hot. I didn’t think I could ever get tired of how delicious his body was. And he was all mine. Wasn’t he?

“Stop looking at me like that or I’ll definitely be late.”

I instantly longed for him to forget his meeting. He could stay and warm me up, fuck me good morning until the sun was high in the sky. There couldn’t be room for doubts as long as he was in my arms.

But unfortunately, we couldn’t live our lives in bed.

With strength I didn’t know I possessed, I tore my eyes away. “Get dressed. It will help.”

“Good plan.” With an evil grin, he tossed his towel aside.

My eyes were glued to his naked behind until he disappeared into his closet.
Such a tease.

While Hudson dressed, I undressed, trading the clothes I’d slept in for a t-shirt of Hudson’s from the hamper. It smelled of him and I needed that—needed his presence to cling to me even as he was preparing to leave.

When he met me again in the bedroom, he was wearing one of my favorite suits—a dark gray Armani two-piece that intensified the color of his eyes. He looked sharp. Extra sharp. His meeting was obviously an important one.

“You look good.”

He glanced at me in the mirror where he was straightening his tie. “Do I?”

“Mm-hmm.” In one of my more passive-aggressive moves, I added, “I’m sure Norma will agree.”

But though Hudson was good at games, he only played them when he was the one in control. His didn’t say a word as he filled his pockets with his phone and wallet, didn’t acknowledge if my guess was right.

Communication
, I reminded myself.
This is who I am. I need to know.
“She will be there, won’t she?”

Finally, he turned to me. “She will.” In three quick strides he was at the bed, pulling me roughly to my knees. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, forcing my eyes to meet his. “And whether she thinks I look good in this suit or not is none of my concern. I only care that you’ll be the one to take me out of it later tonight.”

My breath caught. “Okay.”