The Firefighter's Woman (12 page)

Chapter Fourteen

The deal held for quite some time. Two weeks passed with little in the way of upset, and Sarah managed to resist the urge to go out and get into trouble while John was on night shift. It wasn’t as difficult as she’d thought it would be, especially given that he often took her to bed in the hours before he had to leave and made sure she was thoroughly sexually exhausted.

It was a quiet evening and Sarah was at home with just Odin for company. The dog was snoring happily on the couch while she watched television, a reality show that was just mindless and drama-filled enough to take her mind off her concern. The house was a different place without John. It was an empty place. Even with Odin by her side, Sarah missed John. She knew she’d see him when she woke up in the morning, but morning was far too many empty hours away.

Sirens raced by outside and both she and Odin put their heads up, then returned to their respective relaxed poses. When a second set of sirens went past, Odin barely flicked an ear in their direction, but Sarah was more concerned. Another few minutes went by and she heard still more.

“What on earth is going on?”

Odin let out a little grunt. Sarah turned the channel to the local news network and immediately saw the reason for the cacophony.

“The fertilizer plant is engulfed in flames after an apparent electrical fault caused an explosion,” the news reader reported. “Fire crews from six counties are attending the scene.”

Fear like no fear she had felt before clutched at her heart. John would be out there. She knew it in her heart. Her eyes were stuck to the screen, wide with the reflected image of bright flames leaping around the bones of the building.

What if the worst happened? What if she never saw John again? What if she was left all alone in the world again?

“No,” she swore to herself. “Not again. I’m not losing another one. I’m not…”

Odin watched her, confused as she pulled her shoes on. She was in a panic, so much so that she first forgot her keys, then her phone, then her keys again. It took several minutes of flailing before she threw open the front door—and ran directly into Anne Derringer.

Anne stood on the doorstep dressed in her usual inimitable fashion, a long overcoat and leather boots under which Sarah was sure would be some respectable attire with just a hint of adventure.

“Where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Anne fixed Sarah with a firm look.

“There’s a fire… there…”

“And you’re a fire woman, are you?”

“No, but…”

“Inside,” Anne said firmly. When Sarah did not immediately comply, the woman reached out from her superior height, fixed a thumb and forefinger on Sarah’s ear, and directed her back indoors with the infernal grasp.

“Let me go!” Sarah protested. “I have to go to him. He’s in danger.”

“You have to stay right here,” Anne corrected her. “There’s nothing you can do out there but get yourself in trouble.”

“Fine, ouch! Just let me go!”

Sarah rubbed her ear, scowling furiously at Anne as the woman removed her smart overcoat. “Why did you come here? Did John send you?”

Anne gave her another look that suggested she had better adjust her attitude quickly. “Some time ago he asked me to come over in case of an event like this. He thought you might have a bad reaction.”

“Oh, did he,” Sarah scoffed. “Well, he was wrong. I’m not having a bad reaction. I’m having a perfectly reasonable reaction.”

“Are you?”

Two simple words made Sarah face how much she was panicking and how ridiculous her plan was. What could she possibly do? Go down there, throw herself at John, and forbid him to fight the fire? That was his job. All she would do would embarrass herself and distract him, putting both of them in danger.

“I am so sick of not being able to do anything about anything,” she said, her eyes welling with tears of frustration. “Bad things happen to everyone. It’s only a matter of time until something bad happens to him.”

“Worry is praying to the devil,” Anne said wisely.

“What?”

“There is no way to know what the future holds,” Anne explained. “So to worry about it, to whip yourself into a panic is to misuse your imagination. A great many good things could be on the horizon. Why don’t you try thinking about them?”

“How can I when John is out there, in danger?”

“Sit down,” Anne said, pointing to the couch. “I’ll fetch my hairbrush.”

Those words made Sarah perk up with fear and curiosity. If John had made that threat, she would soon have a very sore bottom, but Anne Derringer was not John. “What do you mean?”

“Just sit down,” Anne said, pulling a large flat-backed hairbrush from her bag.

Sarah sat quickly, more out of reflex to protect her butt than anything.

Anne stood behind Sarah and began running the brush through her hair with slow, soothing strokes. Sarah found the tension going out of her body as the bristles lightly scratched her scalp and she realized that she was not being punished, she was being cared for.

“You think I should just trust that everything is going to be alright?”

“I think you should invest less energy into the certainty that everything will go wrong,” Anne said. “You can’t live your life on the verge of disaster.”

“John does.”

“John lives his life saving people from that verge,” Anne replied. “He is very, very careful. Do you trust him to do his job well?”

“Yes,” Sarah said after a brief moment. There really wasn’t any question as to whether John was good at his job. She had seen him in action herself. “I do.”

“Then let’s spend this evening as pleasantly as we can,” Anne suggested calmly. “Why don’t you tell me a little more about yourself?”

“Why don’t you tell me a little more about
yourself
,” Sarah challenged in return. She could see Anne’s smile reflected in the mirror on the wall opposite the couch.

“What would you like to know, dear?”

Sarah had to think about that. Now she’d challenged Anne, she had to come up with a decent question for her. What did she want to know about the woman who John seemed to trust so absolutely?

“At your house,” Sarah said. “There are pictures of you, and several men, but no family. I mean, no young family.”

“It never happened for me,” Anne said, running the brush through Sarah’s hair. “I had plenty of lovers, but never one I would have raised a family with.”

“I’m sorry,” Sarah said, immediately feeling guilty for having asked such a personal question.

“Don’t be sorry,” Anne replied. “We all have different paths. I have never regretted my life’s choices. If one believes one has a choice at all. Free will being up for debate and that sort of thing.”

“I hope it happens for me,” Sarah confided. “I hope…”

“You hope it happens with John?”

Sarah blushed and nodded. “I’m getting ahead of myself, I know.”

“Well, perhaps a little,” Anne mused. “But I think the body and the heart know what they want in the first instant of meeting.”

“You’re a romantic!” Sarah was surprised. “I’m not… but I hope you’re right.”

“I think you might be a romantic,” Anne said with a knowing smile. “I think every woman in love becomes a romantic whether she wants to be or not.”

“I don’t know much about being in love,” Sarah admitted. “This is my first time. I think maybe I’m messing it up. I have too many feelings. Every time he goes away I’m afraid I might never see him again…”

“To love is to bear a future loss,” Anne said gently. “But if you don’t love, you live the loss anyway. Didn’t your mother teach you about love?”

“My mother died when I was two. My dad never remarried. He was alone as long as I knew him. I guess that’s what I learned about love. That it leaves you and then you’re alone forever.”

“I’m sorry,” Anne said. “That was insensitive of me.”

“I asked you why you never had any kids,” Sarah shrugged. “We’re even.”

“Fair enough.” Anne smiled and went on brushing Sarah’s hair. Sarah found herself half-closing her eyes and relaxing into a care that was gentle and undemanding. She opened them when Anne spoke again.

“You never had a mother, and I never had a daughter.” Anne’s blue eyes twinkled with warmth. “Isn’t life funny with its coincidences, matching people almost like puzzle pieces. That which someone lacks, someone else has.”

“So you think life is about fitting together?”

“In some ways.”

“John and I fit together,” Sarah said softly.

“Yes,” Anne agreed. “You do.”

* * *

The rest of the evening passed calmly. With Anne there to talk to, Sarah’s anxiety was not so consuming. They talked about many things, about the past and about the future. Sarah found herself actually thinking about what she wanted for herself, instead of fretting about the past. She was worried about John, of course, but the worry seemed more in proportion. Less overwhelming. Anne wouldn’t allow the TV to be on the news network but she did begrudgingly tolerate the ‘Fake Wives’ show Sarah had been watching before everything got so scary.

Eventually, Sarah fell asleep in front of the television with Odin curled up beside her. She was not aware of Anne quietly leaving, she wasn’t aware of anything until she woke up to the sound of the front door closing and Odin whining happily. She opened her eyes and there John was. Covered in soot, filthy from his labors, but strong as ever.

Sarah leaped up from the couch, burst into tears of relief, and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him as tight as she could.

“Shhh,” he comforted her. “It’s alright. I’m alright. You’re alright.”

Sarah buried her face in his chest. He smelled like smoke and sweat, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to feel his body against hers, his hard, vital presence comforting her as she drew in deep breath after deep breath.

“I need to take a shower,” he murmured against the top of her head. “Do you want to come with me?”

She couldn’t have been peeled from him by a hundred men. John had some difficulty moving with her wrapped around him so closely, so he ended up picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom like a husband carrying his bride over the threshold of their new home.

“I need to take my clothes off,” he said almost apologetically, setting her on her feet.

“Let me do it.”

She put her fingers to his buttons and set about the task of pulling the dirty clothes from his body. His powerful torso was covered in a sheen of sweat. She could imagine how hot it must have been underneath his firefighting gear. He smelled like a man who had been exerting himself for hours, a salty musk that drew her to him all over again. She peeled his trousers down and found his underwear soaked in the same sweat. Soon all of his dirty clothes were discarded on the floor, and her clothing followed in short order.

They stepped into the hot, steaming embrace of the shower. Sarah took the body wash and cloth and began to clean him, her delicate hands tracing every ripple of his muscular body, suds washing away the work and the care of the day. It was good just to feel him under her hands, to know that he was there, he was real, he was back.

“Hey.” He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry tonight was so hard on you,” he said. “It will get easier. The more you see I come back from these things, the less you’ll worry.”

“You called Anne on me,” she said as his other hand slid around her waist and his palm found her bottom to draw her into the shower’s flow.

“I didn’t want you to be alone. Are you mad, my brat?” He asked the question in a deep drawl, running his hand over the curve of her hip.

“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not mad at all. I learned something tonight. I learned… that I can do this.”

He cocked his head to the side, looking more handsome than ever as the water dripped from his dark flattened curls. “What can you do?”

“I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, but I love you anyway. I don’t have a choice, and I don’t want one.” Tears welled in her eyes and mingled with the water flowing over her body. “I’ve wasted too much time being scared and I’m not scared anymore. I mean, I am, but I’m not going to let it stop me loving you. And I’m not going to let it make me useless anymore. Mrs. Derringer and I were talking about a lot of things tonight. I’m going to train as a nurse, so I can help people.”

His proud smile made her feel as though a hundred butterflies had burst into flight in her stomach and his lips met hers in a kiss that was tender and sweet and soft before becoming more passionate and full of need. Their tongues entwined along with their limbs as the hot water dashed against them. John’s long, hard cock was pressed against her soft belly, its imposing girth warm against her skin.

When they broke the kiss, it was John who spoke. “You’re one of the bravest women I’ve ever known,” he said. “And I’m going to do my best to make sure we have a very long life together, Sarah. I promise you that.”

A long life together was all Sarah could have hoped for. And though she wished that moment could last forever, that she could stay wrapped in John’s embrace with the water pounding around them driving out the sound and cares of the rest of the world, she was eager to see what the future held as well. John was eager too, not for the future, but for her naked form.

He shifted and his cock found the hot core between her thighs. Sarah moaned happily and he captured her in another kiss as he lifted her aloft, her back against the shower wall as he slid inside her, her wetness welcoming him with a slippery embrace as she locked herself around him, taking him deep, making him a part of her. They made love with a slow rhythm, John’s hips pumping against hers over and over, massaging the depths of her body with the length of his cock.

“I love you,” she whispered against his ear, her arms wrapped around his neck. “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too…” He pulled his head back and looked deep into her eyes. “Sarah…”

“Yes?” She sensed there was some weight behind what he was hesitating to say, but then the expression on his face changed and he smiled and kissed her thoroughly again.