The Fire Mages' Daughter (31 page)

“Drina, about Cryalla…”

“Shh. Let’s not talk about it.”

“But I have to know—”

I put one finger on his lips. “No. Say nothing. It’s better that way.”

“But I
must
! I have to
know
– are you going to send me away, too?”

Well. No prevarications or excuses, then. Straight to the heart of the matter. I’d hoped he would simply follow my lead, and say nothing, ask nothing. Then perhaps I could trick myself into thinking that the man I loved wasn’t a faithless fool. And not knowing, always wondering – the uncertainty would have done him good. But perhaps this conversation was unavoidable.

“No.”

The anxiety in his face shifted a little. “Thank the Sun God! Drina, I am so sorry—”

“Hush. Say no more about it.”

“Nothing really happened, truly. It was just—”

“I don’t want to know. It’s done with.”

“You are too good! Too generous.” He swept my hand into his, and pressed it to his cheek. “It was so foolish. I never meant to hurt you, my love, and I am certain I do not deserve to be forgiven. But… I would like to know why.”

I’d wondered that myself. But it had taken me no more than those three breaths to know that I didn’t want to lose him again. Not after a whole year together, a year when he’d made me happier than I’d ever expected to be. Through all the misery and turmoil and grief, Arran had been the one good thing in my life, standing behind me ready to catch me if I fell. How could I be Drashonor, and play my part in the Bennamore court, without him? It was unthinkable.

But I couldn’t find the words to explain it. “Because I love you,” I blurted. “Because I missed you when we were apart before. And because I’ve done innumerable foolish and hurtful things in my years, and always been forgiven. And maybe the time will come when I do something that hurts
you
, and I hope then that you’ll forgive me in your turn.”

He turned his face into my palm, and kissed it fervently. “The gods will reward your forbearance.”

“Come to bed and let me lie in your arms. That is all the reward I ask.”

He bowed his head, and nodded. “I will never hurt you again, I promise.”

“Hush. No promises. We will never mention this again, and everything will be exactly the same as before.”

But it couldn’t be, I knew that. When I was a child, someone had given my mother a gift after a healing, a beautiful silver cup. It had fascinated me – so smooth, so shiny, so perfect. She had let me use it sometimes, but one sun it slipped from my fingers and fell to the kitchen’s stone flags. One side of it was dented almost flat, the smooth surface gone. Even though Cal magicked it back into shape, it was never quite the same afterwards. Every time I looked at it, I saw the tiny imperfections that marred it.

That was how it would be with Arran. Something perfect was a little tarnished now.

There was one advantage to being the new war leader – I had an excuse to forget Zandara’s treachery for a while, to leave behind my overburdened schedule, and escape from Kingswell. I decided that I needed to visit the fortress on the northwestern border, inspect the camp beside the lake and see for myself the progress of the black-bark collection. The reports were detailed and extensive, but there was no substitute for being there.

I would have loved to call Sunshine to me and fly there. Sadly, my new rank came with drawbacks, too, and there was no escaping the entourage of waiting women, scribes, mages, bodyguards and an honour escort. At least Arran could come too. I always felt more secure when he was with me.

To my pleasure, Cal was to be one of my mages. “You’ll be relieved to know that I have full authority to use magic to keep you well,” he said, as we waited in the carriage for the escort to arrange themselves for our departure. “I have plenty of vessels, and Jayna’s bringing more. So you just help yourself whenever you feel the need. Officially, for once.”

He winked, grinning broadly. He knew perfectly well that I’d been surreptitiously taking magic from him whenever we met. I daren’t risk it with Mother, for if she noticed she might well tell Yannassia, and then there would be warnings and promises to behave and other such tedious nonsense.

“Thank you for not telling on me. It’s so much easier to just take a little here, a little there. I don’t like to go to the Imperial City and wait for the bird.”

“No, that’s a dangerous strategy. The Imperial City is full of traps for those without magic.”

“Not just that. It gives me too much magic. I feel so full I could burst. And then I have to—” I stopped, blushing.

Cal laughed. “Ah, that! You need your man handy, I suppose.” He glanced across at Arran. “That happens to mages, too, after renewal. All that magic flowing through the body as it recharges the vessel – it has certain effects. Although – it’s quite fun, I find.”

Arran snorted with laughter. “Drina can fill herself with all the magic she likes, as far as I’m concerned.”

Alongside him, my new bodyguard pretended to be gazing out of the window, but I swear his cheeks were red. He was older than Arran, but some men were so shy about basic things. It was rather sweet.

Fortunately, the escort commander gave the order to move just then, and our convoy rolled forward, effectively ending the subject. As we passed the steps, Yannassia fluttered her fingers at us, her face wan, while Mother waved us away calmly. Cal leaned forward for a last glimpse of her before the carriage turned and she was lost from view.

“Thank you for coming with me,” I said impulsively, sliding my arm through his. “I didn’t expect it.”

“Didn’t you? You know me – I get restless if I stay in one place for too long.”

“Not… not restless with Mother?”

He squeezed my arm. “No, never that,” he said softly, eyes shining. “But Kingswell… it’s stifling. So much formality and protocol and not a moment to breathe. And even the gardens here are all straight lines and everything rigidly pruned. I miss our garden at Zendronia, you know. Everything rampant and sprawling, greenery everywhere. I loved being out there, feeling the sun on my face, or the wind, or the rain. Even the snow.”

“Why don’t you go back there?”

“Maybe we will, at some point. For now, your mother is happiest here, so this is where we’ll stay. But I do need to get away every once in a while. Besides, it’s exciting, isn’t it? Going to the border in the middle of a war. Anything could happen.”

“It could, but it probably won’t,” I said, laughing. “I hope you won’t find it too dull.”

~~~~~

By the third sun, the carriages were abandoned for horses, but because of our large numbers and the incessant rain, we travelled no faster. Our slow pace meant the hours passed with mind-numbing slowness. Cal soon became twitchy, and eventually Arran took him off the track for a faster ride in the woods and farmlands we passed through. There was no danger of disturbing the farmers, though, for many of the fields were abandoned, crops left unharvested to rot in the autumn rains, and no ploughing done. Goats rooted through fallen fruit in orchards, and even the villages were half empty, their occupants fled from the fear of war.

Sunshine flew far above us, as excited as Cal to leave Kingswell behind. I hadn’t asked her to come, yet here she was anyway. I passed the time by reaching out for her with my mind, and gazing down at our little procession as it crawled through the autumn-bare countryside, splashed through puddles in nondescript villages and disappeared from view beneath trees turned to flames of gold and orange and red.

When I grew bored with that, I wondered what else I could connect with. The horses were the obvious target, but although I could reach their minds, I found them curiously muted. There was none of the clarity I felt with Sunshine. The cattle, oxen and sheep we passed were even less defined.

I only connected strongly once, when a snake startled one horse and it reared, mind flooded with fear. A wave of the same fear washed through me, too, and instinctively I stretched my mind out to soothe the creature. It quieted at once, the rider brought it under control, and its mind melted back into the muddy pool of horse consciousness.

But there were other creatures along the way. Foxes, hidden in bushes. Numerous cats, tucked away in barns or farm kitchens, or occasionally walking openly past us. Rats everywhere. Mice and other rodents, although they were harder to reach here, nothing like as open to my mind as their counterparts at the Keep. Goats, surprisingly, were very clear, with strong personalities.

I tried to make sense of it, but there was no obvious pattern and in the end I gave it up. I was more used to learning from books, where those cleverer or more observant than I looked over all the evidence and drew conclusions. My education, excellent though it was, had not fitted me for working things out for myself.

When we arrived, half the fortress turned out to receive us, our entire route across the parade ground lined six-deep with immaculately turned out soldiers standing to attention, every button and sword hilt and spear point gleaming. The commanders stood in a neat row, each with toes arranged at the regulation angle. As I dismounted, they bowed with synchronised precision. It was as impressive as a Sun Festival parade.

“Good afternoon, Commanders.”

“Greetings, Most Powerful,” they intoned in unison.

“An impressive display. I trust the war is not being neglected while your soldiers polish their boots.”

“Indeed not, Most Powerful,” said the most senior commander smugly. “Daily polishing of boots is excellent discipline, and a disciplined army is a successful one. You will find nothing amiss here.”

Our rooms were comfortably furnished, small but adequate. There was no shortage of hot water to wash the mud of the road from our own boots, even though lines of juniors had to labour back and forth with ewers to supply it. Then there was time only for a change of clothes before evening board, an elaborate affair which wouldn’t have disgraced a noble’s table. All the commanders and captains attended, together with their various husbands, wives and drusse.

Arran sat to one side of me, and the senior commander the other. The commander made polite conversation, but I kept my answers brief, and Arran knew better than to talk to me on such an occasion. In fact, he became so absorbed with the pretty young woman on his other side that I twice had to pull his attention back to me.

As dishes were brought and then removed, and the wine flowed and the chatter became louder, my gaze roved around the room, looking for the subtle, yet distinctive signals. This was an army at war, and there must be tensions and uncertainties, tactical disagreements and suppressed hostilities. Most of these people were nobility, and used to concealing their true feelings, but I could read them as easily as a book.

“Well?” Arran said eagerly, as we undressed for bed. “What did you learn? Are they as relaxed as they appear?”

“Not at all, but I see no sign of dissent amongst them.”

“They have not fallen out, then?”

“I don’t think so. And it’s not just the pressure of being under inspection. No, it’s something else, something they all feel. They are… unsettled.”

“War does that to people.”

“True, but it feels like more than that. I will have a better idea when I have looked around the fortress.”

“You want to inspect the cellars?” he said teasingly. “That may take a while.”

“The cellars, yes, and the armoury. I’d like to talk to the smiths. They always know the gossip.”

He sighed. “The cellars and the smithy? I can barely contain my excitement.”

I laughed, and stretched up to kiss him. “No need for you to come. Go and pop some arrows, if you want, or do some swordwork. Your arm is fully healed now.”

“Indeed it is,” he murmured. “All parts are in full working order.”

“Oh, I think we should check, though. Just to be sure.”

For answer, he scooped me up and, smiling, carried me to the bed.

~~~~~

For two entire suns I inspected the fortress, from the battlements to the cellars, from the kitchens to the stables. I talked to scores of junior workers, peered into grain barrels and oil jars, admired neat rows of swords and entire rooms full of arrows. I even visited the buttery, the sewing rooms, the brewery and the bakery. I found nothing out of place, and no more than the usual type of gossip found in any community of this nature. But still I felt something was amiss.

On the third sun, we crossed the ditch and walked down the hill towards the lake. For once, the rain had stopped, and weak sunshine set the grass and low bushes sparkling. No trace remained now of Ly-haam’s village of scattered skin
clava
. A newly paved road wound down the slope, and at the bottom sat the supplies camp, the earlier pavilions replaced with a dispiriting collection of identical wooden huts arranged in straight lines.

The commander walked out to meet us, a couple of captains half-running to keep up with his long stride. He was a tall, rangy man, nearer forty than thirty, with the deeply creased face of one who spent his life in the open.

“Good morning to you, Highness!” he boomed, while we were still some distance away. “You honour us with your visit. Do you wish for refreshments? I can have something drummed up in no time. Or would you like to look around straight away? Your time is precious, I know.”

By this time, he had just about reached our group. Laughing, I put my hands up in defence. “Good morning, Commander. We have only just finished morning board, so I should like to see your camp first, if you please.”

“Of course, of course.” He spun round to walk alongside me, displacing Arran. Lowering his voice, he said, “We were all so sorry to hear the sad news about Highness Zandara. She was an excellent war leader, and will be greatly missed.”

I bowed in acknowledgement, but had nothing to say. The grief was still too fresh for me to talk about her dispassionately. I found it interesting that he mentioned Zandara at all, for the fortress commanders had carefully avoided any reference to her.

His voice returned to its normal level, loud enough to make my ears ring. “You will take us as you find us, I am sure, Highness. This is an operational base, and our priority is to get the wagons off every morning. We are not quite as dressy as the fine fellows at the fortress.”

“I understand.”

“What would you like to see first?”

“I leave that to you to decide. You will know best where we will cause the least disruption to your activities.”

A supplies camp is even less interesting than a fortress, I discovered. Almost all the huts contained stores of one type or another. A few were barracks, and there was an infirmary, a kitchen and dining space, and some recreation rooms and offices. Within an hour, I had seen all there was to see.

“The planning room?” the commander said. “Or the infirmary? I do not recommend the barracks. Off-duty soldiers are not a sight fit for a lady’s eyes.”

I laughed at that. “No, I have no interest in the private quarters. Your soldiers may enjoy their leisure time in whatever manner pleases them. I believe my escort would be glad of some refreshments now, but perhaps you will walk down to the lake with me, Commander?”

He bowed his acquiescence.

Waving away Arran’s protests, I chose one of my two bodyguards to accompany me and sent everyone else to the dining hut. Then I set off with the commander for the lake. This side of the camp was fenced, but he unlocked a gate and we passed through. The ground was level, with several picketed horses busy keeping the grass down. Here and there, circular bare patches showed where the Blood Clans’
clava
had stood, and I could just make out traces of paths winding between them.

The commander strode straight through the remnants of the village, making no effort to avoid the numerous post holes, or patches of blackened earth that marked the fire pits. Then we reached the longer grass and reeds fringing the lake, and the little beach that I’d stood on with Ly-haam, our boots crunching on the shingle. Here we stopped.

Once again I felt the strange pull the lake exerted on me. Or perhaps it was the island, its trees only just beginning to change colour. Something was drawing me. I wondered what was out there, and what secrets were hidden in the dark stone tower I’d glimpsed when I’d flown past on my eagle.