Read The Finishing Touches Online
Authors: Hester Browne
The only truly waterproof
mascara is an eyelash tint.
“Betsy, if you want a sneaky cry
at weddings and funerals, dye your lashes.” That was probably one of the best tips Franny gave me, out of the thousands she’d passed on, over twenty-seven happy years.
Also, “sunscreen now saves face-lifts later” and “never trust a man with a ready-made bow tie.”
I stared blankly out of the window at the red London bus idling next to our taxi. For once I didn’t mind the clogged-up traffic, because it gave me time to pull myself together between leaving the church and arriving at the memorial tea, where I’d have to hear how elegant and inspiring my mother was all over again, this time while juggling canapés and a wineglass.
Tears prickled treacherously along my lashes. They weren’t the distraught tears I’d cried six months ago, when Franny’s headaches turned out to be a tumor, and the end had come almost before I’d had time to realize it. But they were sad ones,
because I’d never feel her elegant, comforting presence behind me at memorials again. Franny had always known what to say, the kind word to murmur at the right time. She had handled every situation gracefully.
I blinked hard, knowing that at least I wouldn’t be given away by telltale panda eyes, and I could almost see Franny’s familiar smile, the one that twisted up a corner of her mouth. She liked a private joke. I hadn’t had time to buy a new outfit for the memorial service, but I had made time for a lash tint. I knew she’d know. Somehow.
That
really
set the tears off. Oh,
nuts
.
A hand descended on my knee and shook it. “Betsy? Betsy, will you pack in that stiff-upper-lip nonsense and just cry? I’m your best friend, Betsy. I don’t care if your nose is snotty!”
I turned my face back into the cab, blinking hard. “I’m fine! Honestly!”
“No, you’re not. Your lip has been wobbling for the last five minutes,” Liv went on. Her words were brisk, but her voice was gentle and concerned. “You’re
meant
to cry at these things. The whole
point
of memorial services is to let everyone have a good howl. It’s good for the soul. Then the women can repair each other’s makeup as an icebreaker after and get on with the hilarious memories. I’m sure you told me that.”
Liv was balanced on the taxi jump seat opposite me, her long legs arranged like Bambi’s and a mixture of concern and smudged mascara all over her beautiful face. Apart from the lack of a lash tint, Franny would thoroughly have approved of Liv’s outfit, I thought. The dress code had been “celebratory,” and Liv was wearing a sunshine-yellow miniskirt and a selection of perfectly chosen accessories, including gloves and a gold sequined beret on her straight blond hair, as her tribute to Franny’s devotion to the Phillimore Academy finishing school.
It made my simple blue coat and shift dress look rather sober in the drab January light, but I’d barely had time to think about what to throw on before the taxi had come for me that morning.
There was a discreet cough from my left, but I didn’t turn my head, because that would mean looking at Jamie, and I wasn’t sure whether that was a good idea. I hadn’t known Jamie was coming along today. If I
had
known, I might have distracted myself with hours of worrying about what to wear, but as it was, I only had enough spare energy to angle my head so he couldn’t see my puffy eyes.
“What my darling tactful sister means is that after everything that was said about Lady Frances, you’d need a heart of pure concrete not to be in tears,” said Jamie. “Even I cried when you read out that letter she sent you at school, about how to make friends with bullies by complimenting their hair. And you know what a heartless bastard I am.”
Liv wiped under her eyes with a finger and smeared her mascara. “It was such a lovely service,” she sniffed. “It was like Franny was
there
. Those lilies she loved, and that Bach solo, and everyone in beautiful hats with veils…”
“Here,” I said, reaching into my bag, glad of the distraction. “Have a handkerchief.”
“But what about you?”
“I’ve got two.” I waved mine, a big white gent’s hankie. “Always carry two—one for you and one for a friend.” I managed a watery smile. “A top tip from the Academy.”
“Franny told you such useful things,” sniffed Liv, patting her face. “I wish I’d grown up in a finishing school.”
“So do I,” said Jamie.
“Shut up, Jamie,” said Liv, blowing her nose with a trumpeting sound. “No one in their right mind would let you into a finishing school. It’d be like letting a fox loose in a henhouse.”
“A fox?” I could tell by his voice that he was joggling his eyebrows. “Why, thanks!”
I risked a sideways glance. I’d thought Jamie was in New York, working—but he’d arrived with Liv, looking dashing, as Kathleen would say, in a dark suit, his blond hair cut slightly shorter than I remembered but still falling into his handsome face. When he brushed it out of his eyes with a tanned hand, my stomach still flipped over, memorial service or not.
It was a habit, I told myself. A bad habit. My stomach had flipped over for Jamie O’Hare since I was fourteen years old; it was hardly likely to stop now. If anything, the familiar ache was replaced by a sense of relief that some things didn’t change.
“I meant I wished
you’d
grown up in a finishing school, you plum,” said Jamie. Liv and Jamie still squabbled like teenagers, despite Jamie being over thirty and a company director, albeit of a company that arranged parties for posh girls. “It’d have done you good to have learned some manners. And how to arrange flowers and…” He turned to me and gave me such a charming smile that I forgot to look away and disguise my puffy face. “What exactly did they learn at that Academy? I’m afraid my knowledge of finishing schools is limited to, um—”
“Dodgy DVDs and his own private fantasy world,” Liv finished. “You
knocker
.”
“They learned how to dine with royalty, and talk to anyone, and arrange flowers,” I said through a watery smile. The Academy and its near-fairy-tale lessons had been such a big part of my childhood, it merged in places with storybooks. “They used to rehearse marriage proposals too—accepting and declining without hurting anyone’s feelings, that sort of thing. What to wear to the opera, and to Ascot.”
“How to be a princess, basically,” sighed Liv.
“Sort of,” I agreed. “I think there was some useful stuff too. Franny was quite keen for the girls to have things to talk about,
in between the proposals and flowers. The girls were there to be finished, you know. Polished up.”
“Turned into the perfect wives?” asked Jamie, and this time I had enough presence of mind to rest the puffier side of my face against a hand, as if in thought.
“Nnngh,” I agreed, as my brain finally registered that Jamie’s knee was almost touching mine and conveniently went blank.
Having a crush at twenty-seven was embarrassing enough; having it on your best friend’s brother edged into Mortification Country. It said something about my distracted state of mind that I hadn’t already mumbled something moronic to Jamie. Whenever I saw him, I acted as if I were suffering from an incapacitating hangover; Liv, who had no idea how I felt, always mistook it for supreme indifference, something she felt Jamie didn’t get enough of.
“And the school is still running now?” he went on. “What sort of finishing do the girls get these days? Do they still do curtseys?”
“I haven’t been back in years—” I began.
“Before you ask,” Liv interrupted, leaning over to rap his knee with her clutch bag, “they
don’t
learn how to mix cocktails while doing Pilates and waxing their own bikini lines, so if you’re coming along to the reception to check them out, you’re going to be disappointed. We all know what
your
ideal woman is. And you won’t find her there.”
I glanced between Liv and Jamie. I’d wondered why he’d been at the service—though it was lovely of him to pay his respects to a woman he’d rarely met—and now the penny dropped. He wanted to see inside the Academy for potential conquests and/or posh waitresses. My heart deflated a little.
“That is not what my ideal…Oh, forget it, Liv,” said Jamie, seeing my crestfallen face. “I came because I know how
much Franny meant to Betsy, and I happened to be in London this week, and I’m glad I did.” He turned to me and said, with the grave charm that kept a stream of triple-barreled Olympic skiers and party girls swooning in glossy heaps all over London’s hottest nightclubs, “She was obviously a real lady of the old school, and if it’s any consolation, I think she passed on a great deal of that to you.”
I blushed, and Liv coughed, hard, to disguise a little sob.
I wanted to store that gem away, but the trouble about being famous for charm was that it was hard to take Jamie very seriously. Besides, it wasn’t true. Franny had done her best to pass on a lifetime of hints and tips, but I just didn’t have her grace. That wasn’t something any finishing school could teach. You had to be born with it.
The traffic began to move again, and I grabbed the chance to stare out of the window so he couldn’t see my expression. We were moving up St. James now, getting nearer Mayfair and the tall town houses near the Academy, and my heart began to thump in anticipation of the moment when I’d have to get out of the car and not have Jamie’s leg pressing against mine. I mean, face the other guests at the reception.
“He’s right, for once, Betsy,” said Liv. “You
are
like her.”
“That’s really sweet of you to say.” I squirmed. “But Franny was gracious and smart and had fabulous parties and millions of friends. I never know what to say, and I’m still doing my holiday job after five years, even though I’m a university graduate.” I sighed, not wanting to go down that particular route. “She just knew how to make people feel better about themselves. That’s proper manners.”
“But you’re—” Liv began.
“I’m
not
,” I said flatly. “I wish I were.”
“I can see she didn’t manage to teach you how to accept a compliment,” said Jamie. He nudged me, until I turned back
and had to look at him. His grayish eyes twinkled with a sad sort of friendliness, and I wished he’d been paying me the compliment under happier circumstances. I managed a small smile, then readdressed my attention to the traffic lights on Piccadilly, so he couldn’t see my gormless expression.
“Anyway!” said Liv, slapping her tiny knees. “We’ve done the sad part; let’s concentrate on remembering the good bits! Let’s talk about the way Nancy and Kathleen used to throw duchess parties for you when you were little and Franny would lend you her tiara and fur coat!”
“Really?” Jamie cocked an eyebrow, and something melted inside me. “Any chance of doing that…Oh, excuse me.” He reached inside his suit pocket and took out his tiny phone. “It’s work. Hello, Jamie O’Hare speaking. Lily! Hello! Yes, the ice sculptor should be with you any minute—the question is, are you ready for him?”
Liv rolled her eyes at me. “When you turn your social life into your job, I suppose the fun never stops. Or the work never starts, whatever.”
I rolled my eyes back. We’d turned down Halfmoon Street now and were only moments away from the reception.
“Are you OK?” she mouthed, all concern, and I nodded bravely.
“Let’s stop here,” I said. “I’d like to walk.”
Jamie leaned forward to talk to the driver, phone still clamped to his ear. I could hear the distant gabble of pre-party panic. “Can you drop these two lovely ladies here, please, then take me on to Cadogan Gardens, mate? Cheers.” He sat back. “Sorry, I can’t stay for the bunfight, I’ve got a hostess in distress with an engagement party at seven. Themed round
Dirty Dancing
. You don’t want to know what I’ve had to arrange.”
“You came to the most important part,” I said. “Thanks.”
Jamie smiled, pressing his lips together in a manner that
wasn’t flirtatious so much as brotherly, and rubbed my upper arm. “My pleasure.”
Liv was busy getting out without snagging her tights, and for a second or two my eyes locked with Jamie’s as his hand rested on my coat sleeve, and I thought he might say something else. Or the conversation fairy might help me out with a witty comment. But the silence stretched, and then Liv’s hand grabbed mine and we were walking down Halfmoon Street, toward the Academy.
Although I’d often been back to the mews cottage where my adoptive grandmothers, Kathleen and Nancy, still lived, I hadn’t set foot inside the Phillimore Academy itself since I was twelve years old. Their cottage was warm and cozy, full of cake and nannyisms about “not being at home to Miss Rude,” whereas the big house was much more imposing altogether. An old chill of anticipation fluttered in my stomach when I spotted the familiar brass plaque next to the red door.
I’d felt the same flutter as a little girl, walking down the street after my afternoon turn around Green Park with Nancy. There was always something intriguing to spot in the upper windows of the Academy, some romantic lesson in the mysterious grown-up world awaiting the shrieking girls I saw streaming in every morning, with their padded jackets and long hair.
In winter, the four-story façade was like an Advent calendar, with a different scene behind each lighted square: blond girls waltzing together in the old ballroom, where molded plaster vines were picked out in gold above glittering crystal chandeliers, and on the floor beneath them, the Social Dining class, struggling with a plateful of oysters and seven different glasses.
On
very
hot summer days, the sash windows at the front were opened, and Nancy and I would catch the sounds of a
piano being hammered and enthusiastic singing as we walked down the street. Not that we ever went in through the red door; we took a side alley two houses down that ran into the mews behind the street and from there let ourselves into Kathleen’s kitchen, where table manners were more rigidly enforced than they were in the Academy’s Social Dining class. Both Kathleen and Nancy were well into their sixties when I arrived and were fond of the “elbows off, napkins on, plenty of prunes, and early nights” approach to child rearing.