The Finding (62 page)

It was that
annoying state just before a rain. The world seemed dull and grey,
the air heavy and damp. Bare, lifeless trees and muddy ground were
about all there was too see; the only colour came from bits of
garbage that had somehow escaped going to the dump. Cassie noted a
scrap of old Christmas wrapping paper caught in clump of weeds. Its
once colourful print seemed faded and sad, speaking of happier days
now long past. Even the snow was depressing. The few remaining
patches along the edge of the road were filthy from car exhaust.
All in all, it matched her mood perfectly.

Glumly, she
thought back to two nights ago and wondered how her relationship
with Bryan could have changed so dramatically in such a short
period of time. Transforming under the full moon had been one of
the most freeing experiences of her life and she’d awoken the next
day full of excitement and happy with the world. Bryan hadn’t been
there, though the indent on her pillow showed that he’d spent the
night.

Two nights in a
row sleeping in the same bed; she’d giggled, feeling foolishly
happy and hugging the pillow to her chest. It seemed like her life
was finally turning around. Mr. Aldrich was gone and she was back
home. She no longer feared being a werewolf and then there was
Bryan... A wide smile had spread across her face and she’d flopped
back in the bed, hoping he’d return soon.

Of course he
hadn’t and she eventually went in search of him. Sadly, Mel
informed her that he and the two Alpha’s were still working on
‘clean up’ which basically meant getting rid of anything that might
link the previous day’s events to werewolves. They also had a
meeting with the Chicago pack and there was no telling how long it
might take.

She’d sighed
but had made the best of things, filling the day with other
activities. That, of course, didn’t mean she forgot about Bryan. He
was often on her mind and she longed to talk to him about her night
as a wolf. Some of her muscles seemed stiff with overuse and she
was curious as to what they’d done. Hopefully, nothing embarrassing
she thought, scowling when the wolf inside gave what sounded like
an exceptionally contented sigh but refused to reveal any
details.

With nothing in
particular to do, she’d spent some time on the internet researching
an idea she had, soon becoming so engrossed in the topic that she
had been surprised when Franklin called her to dinner.

The skies
darkened and Bryan still hadn’t appeared. Cassie had consoled
herself that Mel and Elise were alone as well and they’d spent a
pleasant evening getting acquainted. They’d all stayed up late
waiting for the men to return until Ryne finally called around ten
o’clock.

Apparently the
Chicago pack was more than a little miffed that their territory had
been invaded by two Alphas without first obtaining consent. They
wanted compensation and various laws, clauses and precedents were
being tossed about almost like weapons.

Ryne confessed
that Kane was so upset he was threatening a takeover, which hadn’t
helped negotiations run smoothly at all. In short, it was going to
be a long night and the women would be lucky to see them by
morning. On that note, they all said good night, each heading off
to their own lonely beds.

Which brought
her up to this morning. She’d felt groggy when she’d awoken, having
spent a restless night missing Bryan’s presence in her bed, but
shook off the feeling, knowing he was sure to come back soon.
Anxious to finish her project before he arrived, she’d quickly
dressed and settled down at the computer.

And that was
where Bryan had found her; looking up treatment centres for Kellen,
to help him learn how to control his gambling addiction. That was
when everything started to go downhill.

Dark circles
under Bryan’s eyes gave evidence that he’d been working hard on
little sleep. Lines of tension had tightened his features.
Apparently, there’d been some issues with the Chicago pack, but he
didn’t elaborate on them. In fact, he’d been rather taciturn and
disinclined to talk about the situation, more interested in what
she was doing and why.

It turned out,
Bryan didn’t want her looking up information for Kellen; he didn’t
want her visiting Kellen or even calling him. His demands got her
back up and after that, well... Now they were outside Kellen’s
hospital room, barely speaking to each other.

“Cassie?”
Bryan’s curt voice brought her out of her reverie.

“I need to see
him, Bryan. I know you don’t understand, but it’s what I feel I
have to do.”

“Then I’ll go
in with you.” His chin jutted out slightly and she held back her
annoyance at his high-handed manner.

“No. This is
something I need to do by myself. Go and wait in the lobby. I’ll
meet you downstairs in about fifteen minutes.”

Bryan clamped
his jaw shut, his displeasure palpable, but he released her hand
and stepped away. “Fine. I’ll be waiting.”

She nodded and
watched him walk down the hall hurt by his unfeeling attitude. Her
chin quivered but she quashed her feelings and turned to face the
door. One deep breath, then another. Okay, she was ready.

Cassie walked
into the hospital room and was immediately struck by white. White
walls, white curtains, white bedding, and... Kellen’s white face.
His eyes were closed and his hands were lying at his side.

“Kellen?” She
whispered his name, wondering if he was awake or not, taken aback
that he looked so poorly.

Immediately,
his eyes opened and a smile spread across his pale face.
“Sandy!”

She walked over
to the bed and sat down beside him, the mattress making a soft
whooshing noise. “Hey, how are you? You don’t look so good.” She
brushed his hair from his forehead.

“I’m okay, all
things considered.”

“What did the
doctor say?”

He shrugged
negligently. “A few bumps and bruises, some residual sedatives in
my blood, but I’ll be good to go tomorrow.”

“I’m glad.” She
took his hand and he squeezed it.

“And you? How’s
my girly?”

Cassie closed
her eyes at the endearment, biting her lip and forcing down the
emotion that welled up inside her. She swallowed and opened her
eyes. “I’m good.”

“Then what’s
this?” He touched her face where a loan tear had escaped.

She sniffed and
blinked hard. “Nothing. I’m just...happy you’re all right.”

“Sure you are.”
He studied her face then dropped his gaze. Silence stretched
between them, Kellen plucking at the bedspread, while Cassie
studied the floor. It was white, too with a few flecks of grey.

“Sandy?”

“Yes, Kellen?”
She looked up at him warily.

“I...I’m sorry
about Dollar Niche and Eddie and Hugh and—”

“It’s okay.”
She interrupted falling back into her old habit of minimizing his
failings.

“No. It’s not
okay. I was willing to trade you, our relationship, for money to
finance my gambling. It was wrong. It was stupid.” He pursed his
lips and shook his head. “The only thing I can say is that at first
I thought you’d be happy to be rich, but then, when I talked to you
at the house, I realized you’d left your old life for a reason and
I had no right to decide for you if you went back or not.”

Cassie smiled
sadly. Same old Kellen, always thinking things through after the
fact. “I know. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”

He smiled and
seemed relieved, pushing himself up a bit in the bed and seeming
perkier. His guilt was always short-lived. “So, what happened to
all the bad guys? I guess I missed all the excitement.”

“Um...Mr.
Aldrich was involved in some illegal dealings, but it’s all being
kept pretty hush-hush. I even had to sign papers swearing I won’t
talk about it with anyone.”

“Whoa! That’s
serious stuff.”

“Yep. They’ll
probably be around to see you, too. So don’t say anything to anyone
about what you heard or saw.” Cassie put some added sternness in
her voice in the hopes that Kellen would realize how serious this
was.

“That’ll be
pretty easy. I was too drugged most of the time to remember
anything. Just fuzzy images and bits and pieces of
conversations.”

“Good! I
mean...it’ll be easier for you this way, not to slip up.”

He nodded.
“So... After I’ve been sworn to secrecy and I’m released tomorrow,
what are we going to do? Do you want to do some sightseeing in
Chicago or fly right back to Vegas?”

Cassie took a
fortifying breath. Here came the hard part. “I’m not going back,
Kellen.”

“Oh.” The smile
left his face for a moment and then he brightened again. “Well,
that makes sense. You’re an heiress. Why would you live in a pokey
little house in Vegas and work at a grocery store? You know, I was
thinking a change might do me some good, too. What do you say I
move up here and...?” He stopped talking obviously noticing that
Cassie was shaking her head no.

“No, Kellen.
You aren’t moving here with me.”

“But I said I
was sorry! It was all just a big misunderstanding, a
mistake...”

“Kellen...”

“...Anyone can
make a mistake...”

“Kellen...”

“...And I
promise I’ll never do it again...”

“Kellen! Will
you please quit talking and listen to me?” Cassie shouted the words
at him and he finally stopped, giving her a hurt look.

“All right,
I’ll stop.”

“Thank you.”
She composed herself for the little speech she’d prepared. “Kellen,
I care for you—”

“And I care for
you—”

Cassie
continued on, ignoring his interruption, staring at the wall over
his shoulder. She knew she’d never get this out if she looked at
him. “And for a time, we were good for each other. You helped me
when I had no one and I’ll never forget you for that—”

“I didn’t mind.
I wanted to help you—”

“And I’d like
to think I helped you, too—”

“You did,
Sandy, more than you’ll ever know. Without you I’d—”

“But we aren’t
good for each other anymore.” She paused and this time Kellen had
nothing to say. Stealing a glance at his face, she saw the shocked
disbelief, the denial. He was slowly shaking his head...

She took a
shuddering breath and opened her mouth to continue when he finally
spoke.

“Sandy, you
don’t mean that. You and I...” He paused and swallowed hard. A
sheen developed on his eyes and hers began to tear in response.
“You’re all I have. If you give up on me...” Kellen bit his lip and
looked down; his hand was clenching the covers.

“I’m not giving
up on you Kellen, but I am moving on. I...I can’t take it any
longer; the broken promises, the disappointment, the sneaking and
lying. We’re always in debt—”

“I’ll stop
gambling, Sandy. I promise. Right now on this very spot, I
swear—”

She reached
forward and pressed her hand to his lips. “No Kellen. We’ve done
this before. You need help. More than I can give you.” Pulling back
her hand, she dug in her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and
held it out to him. “I found this on the internet. It’s a private
clinic for gamblers and it’s not too far away. I called this
morning and they’re willing to take you, to help you. I’ll pay the
entire cost, if you’ll go.”

Kellen reached
out and slowly took the paper from her hand. The room was silent as
he read the information. “I don’t know, Sandy.”

“It’s supposed
to be one of the best places in the country. The success rate is
high. Please, Kellen. Do this for me. For you. You’re a wonderful
man—smart, kind, funny, good-looking—but the gambling is ruining
your life. You were lucky this time, but one of these days your
luck will run out.” Cassie stopped talking and pleading and held
her breath, hoping her words were finally making an impression,
that he’d accept what she was offering.

“If I go, will
you take me back?”

Her heart
plummeted. This was the question she’d feared. Would her answer
seal his fate? Should she lie? Or put her life on hold for him one
more time? “Kellen, I...” Her voice cracked and she could no longer
hold back the tears. “I can’t. I’m sorry, I wish I could, but I
can’t. I have to move on; live my own life.”

Kellen was
crying too, silent tears dripping down his face as he finally
realized this was the end. “What are you going to do? Will you stay
here?”

“I don’t know.
I have my uncle’s house, but I...I met someone. We’ve only known
each other a few days, but I think...I hope we might have something
together.”

He wiped his
nose on the back of his hand and took a deep breath, staring up at
the ceiling. “I’m glad for you and I hope it works. You...you
deserve to be happy.”

“Oh Kellen!”
Cassie launched herself at him and held him tight, sobbing against
his chest. His arms wrapped around her, his warmth seeping into
her, his familiar scent surrounding her. She cried for the loss of
his presence in her life, for the dreams she’d had when they first
met. She cried for the wasted years, the fights, the good times and
happy memories. And she cried for Kellen and his future, hoping
he’d make it and knowing it was quite likely she’d never really
know. This was it, the end of the line for them. It was time to say
goodbye.

She pulled away
and wiped her eyes, taking deep breaths to try and compose herself.
“There’s one more thing, Kellen. I hope you won’t be mad, but...I
tracked down your parents. I called them and, if you want to talk,
they’re anxious to hear from you. Your mom...she cried when I said
your name. Here’s their number.”

Cassie fumbled
in her pocket and pulled out the second piece of paper and pressed
it into his hand. He looked up at her, his face ravaged and
shocked. She imagined she looked equally bad with red eyes and a
blotchy face. “Call them, please. They still love you.” Standing,
she backed out of the room, watching him stare blankly at the phone
number in his hand. “Goodbye, Kellen. I’ll never forget you.”