The Finding (4 page)

She shifted
uncomfortably, knowing the dicey situation her need placed him in.
“I never said you had to. I can buy them myself.”

Kellen snorted.
“Yeah. Right. Well, in case you’ve forgotten, the dealers don’t
know you. You don’t know how to talk to them and a pretty, naive
little girl like you wandering the streets is just asking for
trouble.”

Giving a half
shrug, she knew he was right, but didn’t want to admit the fact.
When she’d first run out of her migraine medication—well by then
she’d known it wasn’t for migraines, but that was what she still
called it—she’d gone to a clinic in the hopes of getting more. Her
request had been met with stunned silence and then a flurry of
activity as the staff had started to make arrangements for blood
work, urine samples, and a plethora of other tests. Realizing that
something she’d said must have made the nurse wary, she’d slipped
out of the small clinic when no one was looking, fearful that her
secret might be discovered.

Once she was
home, she began researching the medication on-line only to find
that it was a heavy sedative rarely used and only under strict
medical supervision. It had come as a shock to discover what her
uncle had been pumping into her month after month, yet fear of the
consequences, should she not take the drugs, drove her to find
more.

Her previously
sheltered existence as the ward of a multimillionaire had left her
exceptionally ill-prepared to deal with real life, let alone the
seamier side of it. The first time she’d tried to buy her
medication on the street, Kellen had watched from a distance and
narrowly saved her from approaching an undercover narcotics
officer. After that near debacle, he’d taken over the task.

“And do you
know how hard it is for me to get that stuff?” He ran his hand
agitatedly through his hair. “The dealers think I’m crazy; no one
takes that junk for fun.”

“That’s my
business.” The weight of her guilt made her snap at him.

“Just like the
occasional night of gambling is mine.” Kellen growled back before
striding to the door.

“Kellen!” His
name ripped from her throat as she called after him, not caring
that her voice betrayed her emotional pain. She hated parting this
way, hated how their relationship was falling apart.

He grabbed the
handle, but paused before opening the door. Seconds ticked past as
Cassie watched him standing there, his head bowed down. His
shoulders rose and fell once then he turned and looked at her, his
eyes reflecting his internal grief. “Sandy, I...I’m sorry.”

He half turned
to her and her heart beat faster, hoping he would choose to stay
home, that he’d choose her over the thrill of gaming. She tried to
put her heart in her gaze, begging him wordlessly, promising,
pleading...

A car horn
sounded from the street. He gave a start and darted a glance out
the window. “That’ll be Greg.” For a moment, he seemed torn and she
thought she might stand a chance, but his friend beeped the horn
again, obviously impatient. His hand flexed on the door knob.
“I...I have to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Quickly, he pulled
the door open and stepped onto the front porch. There was a
miniscule pause in his stride and he spoke without turning around.
“We’ll talk later. I...I love you.”

“I love you,
too.” Cassie whispered, wondering if the words were even true. It
didn’t matter though; he hadn’t waited to hear her reply. The door
shut quietly and she allowed her shoulders to slump. She leaned her
head against the wall; the smooth, coolness of the painted surface
felt good against her flushed face. A single snort of sardonic
laughter escaped her. The fact that he called her Sandy—a fake name
she’d given him three years ago—epitomized their relationship.
Secrets and deceit were interwoven into their lives; he didn’t even
know her real name was Cassandra or that her family had called her
Cassie.

Pushing off
from the wall, she crossed the room. She hadn’t really expected to
make him stay, but she’d hoped. Insanely, ridiculously, she hoped
that this time... With a roll of her eyes, she cut off her own
thinking. Who was she trying to fool? The gambling was a sickness
within him. For periods of time, it went into remission, but it
always came back; rearing its ugly head and destroying the
happiness and peace that had developed between them. Sure it was
his pay cheque to waste, but it put an added burden on her to cover
household expenses and she resented the fact.

Cassie pulled
aside the curtain to stare out the window at the car in the
driveway. Kellen was walking towards it, laughing at something one
of his cronies had called out to him. Even at this distance she
could sense the change in him; there was a bounce in his step; his
voice indistinct yet full of excitement. Energy seemed to radiate
from him as adrenaline pumped through his system.

He might berate
her for her supposed habit, but gambling was his drug. She’d seen
the effects up close. His eyes dilated and overly bright as he
scanned the gaming table; the trembling of his hands, the way he’d
lick his lips and his breathing would quicken.

Kellen climbed
in the car, his friend barely giving him time to shut the door
before pulling out of the driveway and speeding down the street.
Letting the curtain fall into place, Cassie turned and wandered
back to the kitchen, her steps echoing in the quiet, lonely house.
The meal she’d prepared earlier no longer seemed appetizing, but
she forced herself to eat a small portion. When she was finished,
she put away the leftovers, dejectedly wondering why she even
bothered. Maybe she should be spiteful and just throw Kellen’s
portion in the garbage... No, this wasn’t a silly childish game and
she wouldn’t stoop to such petty revenge. Besides, she couldn’t
afford to be that wasteful.

As she prepared
to leave the room, she took a moment to do a quick survey, checking
the stove was off and the tap wasn’t dripping. Her gaze passed over
the table and the small bouquet she’d arranged. It was flanked by
two candles, all ready to celebrate the anniversary of the day
they’d met. Three years ago today, she’d first set eyes on Kellen.
At the time, she’d been scared out of her wits, not knowing which
way to turn and he’d been her knight in shining armour, showing her
how to survive. She sighed. Now... Well, she wasn’t sure what he
was anymore.

For some reason
she decided to light one of the candles. The flickering flame cast
shadows across the wall and table surface, creating mysterious
images. She squinted trying to determine what the shapes looked
like, but they shifted too quickly. She smiled a little crookedly.
It was a bit like her own life. Mysterious shadows and secrets
seemed to dance around her and she...well...she was the lone
candle; her supposed partner was decidedly absent.

Reaching out,
she let her hand hover around the warmth of the flame, feeling its
heat, mesmerized by its brightness. Then, firming her chin, she
blew it out and headed to bed.

Chapter 2

Las Vegas,
Nevada...

The first
tentative fingers of dawn were streaking the sky as Kellen unlocked
the front door and let himself into the small house he shared with
Sandy. He closed the door as quietly as possible, the slight sound
of the lock snicking into place making him wince. Standing in the
entryway, he listened carefully, and gave a slow sigh of relief
when, hearing nothing but silence, he realized Sandy must still be
sleeping. There was still an hour left before her alarm was due to
go off, but sometimes she was up before then and he really didn’t
feel like he could face her just yet.

He placed his
jacket on the hook by the door, and took off his shoes before
padding into the kitchen in search of some water and pain killers.
His head was throbbing and his body felt worn out, no doubt
let-down from the adrenaline rush he’d been on for most of the
night. A small smile graced his face as he relived the excitement
of the winning streak he’d been on recently. Up twenty thousand
dollars, he’d been hard pressed to contain his excitement believing
his mother-load was finally coming in. Of course, lady luck was as
fickle as ever. Just when it seemed he couldn’t lose, his good
fortune turned and despite his best efforts, he ended up deeper in
debt.

Rubbing his
hand over his face, he wondered if he really was recalling events
clearly. Greg had found a new group to play with and the stakes had
been higher than normal. Scott, one of Greg’s friends, had a
liberal hand when it came to mixing drinks; and the women... God,
he couldn’t believe the women that had been there. Gorgeous, miles
of legs and scantily clad, they’d fawned all over him when he was
winning. Even after the tide had turned, they’d been there;
encouraging him, sharing his frustration over his losing streak,
consoling him...

His smile faded
as he contemplated his losses. Surely there hadn’t been as many
zeros after the numbers as he’d thought he’d seen. There was no way
he owed fifty thousand. Fumbling in his pocket, he pulled out the
note that Scott had given him. Shit! It really was that much. He
crumpled the paper in his hand and tried to think through the
pounding in his head.

Kellen knew his
bank balance hovered around the hundred dollar mark; he’d withdrawn
most of his savings to get into the game, so there was no way he
could pay off the debt that way. He swallowed nervously. Maybe
Sandy...?

He looked
hopefully towards the hallway that led to the bedrooms and it was
then that he noticed the kitchen table. A wilted bouquet and two
candles graced the centre while a lone place setting, complete with
wine glass and a starched white napkin sat at his usual spot.

A sick feeling
rose in his stomach that had nothing to do with the alcohol he’d
consumed or the money he owed. Sandy only set a fancy table for
special occasions but what...? He quickly turned and stared at the
calendar, groaning when he noticed the date.

Damn! She’d
circled it in red and had been chattering away about it all week;
it was their three year anniversary. How could he forget? Thinking
back, he recalled the argument they’d had before he left, only now
remembering the hurt evident in her eyes. She hadn’t said anything,
never specifically hinting it was a special day, but... Damn! He
ran his hands through his hair and cursed himself for forgetting,
for not paying closer attention.

The sound of a
door opening made him look towards the hallway. Before Sandy saw
what he was holding, he shoved the promissory note in his pocket.
Now was not the time to ask her for money. Pushing off from the
counter he’d been leaning on, he straightened his shirt and stepped
forward just as she appeared in the doorway.

Long dark hair,
rumpled from sleep, fell around her face and her green eyes still
had the adorable, vaguely unfocussed look of morning that he so
dearly loved.

“Kellen?” Her
voice was husky with sleep as she furrowed her brow at him.

“Morning.” He
wrapped his arms around her and pressed a light kiss to the top of
her head.

She brought her
hands to his chest and pushed away, her nose wrinkled, probably
catching a whiff of the alcohol on his breath. “Are you just
getting home?”

“Yeah.” He
grasped her shoulders and squeezed them gently. “Hey, I’m sorry
about last night.” He flicked a glance at the table and then back
at her.

Sandy gave a
shrug, loosening his grip. “It doesn’t matter. It was just a silly
idea I had.”

“No. It wasn’t
silly. Celebrating the day we met is important to me
. You’re
important to me.” He put a finger under her chin and lifted it so
he could see her eyes. “The day we met was the best day of my
life.”

She searched
his face with her eyes, obviously wondering about the truth of his
statement. “Sometimes I wonder about that.” Her voice was soft and
she sounded...lonely. It cut into his heart. God, he felt like such
a jerk.

Clasping her
hands in his, he gave them a little shake. “Never wonder about how
important you are to me. You helped turn my life around.”

“Is that why
you went out last night?” She cocked her head to the side and gave
him a considering look.

Kellen winced
and let go of her hands. “Yeah. Well...last night was a mistake.”
In more ways than one, he added silently, thinking of the money he
owed. He forced a smile. “I wish I would have stayed home with
you.”

She responded
with a slight movement of her lips that could have passed for a
smile, then looked down, idly playing with the hem of her tank top.
“I wish you would have, too.”

There was a
sadness to her voice and he desperately wanted to erase it. Trying
to sound happy and hearty, he pulled her into a quick hug, then
just as quickly, let go. “Listen. I’ll make it up to you. Tonight
it will be just you and me. I’ll make dinner and rent one of your
chic-flicks. We’ll watch it together, have some popcorn... What do
you say?”

“Sure.” Sandy
shrugged but didn’t meet his eyes. “Dinner and a movie fixes
everything, doesn’t it?”

Kellen
suspected her words were more sarcastic than an attempt at humour
but he chose to believe the latter and chuckled briefly.

Sandy flicked
an unreadable look at him then turned and headed down the hallway
calling over her shoulder. “I have to get ready for work. I’ll talk
to you later.”

As she walked
away, he watched her slight form outlined in a tank top and
sleeping shorts. A familiar stirring in his groin compounded his
guilt over the missed dinner. Could he sink much lower than this?
Lusting for her, after last night’s events? He could still smell
the other women’s perfume on his clothes; still recall the feel of
their fingers teasing his hair, their hot breath on his cheek as
they whispered encouragement to him...