The Filthy Series: The Complete Dark Erotic Serial Novel (21 page)

“Just people from his work and some of the big clients.” She paused eying me closely. “Taylor won’t be there.”

I flinched at the sound of his name. “Why would you tell me that?”

She rubbed her lips together. “I know he had been supplying you with cocaine. Rhett told me.” She paused. “That was wrong of him to do, Faye. Rhett knows it and I know it. Taylor knows it too. He’s not going to come around. Rhett won’t allow it, and Taylor knows better, okay?”

I nodded absently and tried to imagine Rhett telling Taylor not to come around. I could only imagine the rage in him and how it would fester. How it would multiply until it boiled over and he lashed out. But it had been a week, hell if I wanted to get right down to it, it had been over four months. Taylor hadn’t come barging into the hospital while I was there, nor had he tried come here since I had been at the apartment.

And for the first time I let hope bloom inside me. Maybe Taylor had really let it go? Maybe when he saw me in the hospital that day when I ripped my wound open, he realized that he didn’t want that. That he hadn’t really loved me, that I was too damaged for him. Maybe he had moved on. I almost smiled at the thought, but I clamped my teeth together, not wanting Sarah to see.

“Look, Faye, if you aren’t okay with this, you don’t have to go. I totally understand and I’m not trying to push you out of your comfort zone. We can stay home and marathon the next season of The Office. I’m totally good with—”

“No,” I cut her off. “I want to go.” The words felt good, right.

“Really?” She practically bounced with excitement. “Are you sure?”

I couldn’t help the smile that curved my lips. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn’t. I could literally feel it. Happiness. Hope. The two emotions swirled around inside me, foreign and unfamiliar.

Maybe this really is a new beginning?

I stood in my bathroom staring at myself. The day had flown by in a whirlwind. The first I could remember, ever, that I actually felt carefree. Sarah had taken me to at least six different stores looking for a dress for the party tonight. I’d tried on hundreds of them, at least that was what it felt like. It wasn’t until I’d put on this one. The tight teal-colored number that clung to me right now that we stopped looking. Small sparkling teal beads clung to the entire floor length gown and made me glow in the florescent bathroom lights. Sarah had fixed my hair with her curling iron and the dark locks fell in thick heavy curls around my shoulders. She’d done my make up too in a way she called smoky eyes with a hint of teal in the dark corners. The color made my big brown eyes pop and the dark red lipstick gave me a certain allure that I couldn’t stop staring at.

I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror, and for the first time the stranger staring back didn’t repulse me. She didn’t look scarred and broken, even though she truly was. She looked like a woman who was putting herself back together, who was finding herself. Who was truly becoming a woman. I liked the stranger in the mirror and I hoped I would see her more often.

“Hey Faye, you ready?” Sarah called from outside my bedroom door. I gave the woman in the mirror once last look over, from the curls on her head to the silver shoes on her feet before shutting the light off and heading out. I stepped into the hallway only to be met with a squeal of excitement.

“Oh my goodness the dress looks even more amazing on you now with you hair done!”

I smiled at Sarah. She had fixed my hair and makeup earlier, before I’d gotten dressed and then went back to her room to get ready, leaving me to dress myself.

“You look great too, Sarah.” She wore a champagne-colored dress that complimented her red hair perfectly. It was twisted up into a fancy updo and sparkling chandelier earrings hung from her ears. It was the nicest thing I’d ever seen her wear, as opposed to the bland, square-shaped outfits she had chosen before.

“Thanks, hun.” She turned and glanced toward the bedroom she shared with Rhett. “Come on, babe!”

Only a few seconds passed before he emerged from their room, but they seemed to drag on in utter slowness. I don’t know why, it didn’t matter. What he was wearing didn’t matter. What he thought of what I was wearing didn’t matter either. But I held my breath anyway, wondering how his suit would fit him. Wondering what he would think of the dress that clung to me like a glove and made me sparkle like a diamond.

When he stepped through the threshold his eyes found mine first and he paused awkwardly, half out of the bedroom, half in it. I didn’t miss the way his lips parted as his gaze roamed over me, the way his nostrils flared as he took in every inch of me. With the drugs, I was good at reading men, without them I was even better. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. Rhett was looking at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Even though I stood next to Sarah, who was even more gorgeous. I knew that now for sure. It wasn’t just her looks, it was her personality. She shined brightly like no one else I had ever met. And I looked away from him, hating how much I loved his reaction to me. Something like guilt burrowed under my skin.

“Doesn’t she look fabulous?” Sarah asked.

“She does.” He moved closer and I stared down at my feet. “You did a great job.”

I glanced up, realizing that he was talking to Sarah. His arm was around her waist. He pulled her into his side and kissed her forehead. The subtle gesture gutted me, making my breath catch just inside my chest.

He was giving her credit for the way I looked.
Well, she did do your hair and makeup.

I wanted to yell back at my conscience, but I didn’t. Instead I just accepted it. Sarah had fixed my hair and my makeup. She had picked out my dress and shoes. She deserved the credit for the way I looked. But that didn’t help the hurt that squirmed under my skin.

I spent the drive in silence in the back seat while Sarah chattered in the front, talking about dresses and shopping today. She was lighter than I’d ever seen her, happy. Rhett didn’t say much either, though I could feel his eyes on me from time to time in the rearview mirror. I didn’t return his stare. And I couldn’t help the guilt that seemed to only become more prevalent with each passing second.

They didn’t hold hands as he drove and I couldn’t help the happiness that mingled with my guilt at that fact. It also didn’t help that Rhett looked amazing. The black suit fit him like it was made for him and the white shirt and black tie gave him a classic look that made my mouth water and my cunt wet.

“We’re here.” His voice was heavy, a thick rumble in the car.

I glanced out at the big hotel before us. The parking lot filled with lots of cars. Dread bubbled up inside me along with everything else I was feeling. I had to play a role. I was good at pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I had practiced every day for years, but this was different. I was about to stand in a room in front of lots of people. People who were successful and rich. People who persecuted people like me and put them in jail for life or had them die by means of lethal injection. I was going to stand before them, shake their hands, and pretend like I hadn’t fucked hundreds of strangers. That I hadn’t fucked my step-dad over and over, that I hadn’t liked it. That I hadn’t cum on his cock even when he was hurting me.

I had to play the role of the little sister who wasn’t fucked up. A woman who wasn’t hungry for a bump of cocaine. But I was hungry for that. Even though my time at home with Sarah had been decent enough, it hadn’t stopped the cravings. They were there just beneath the surface making my skin prickle, ready, desperate for more. I didn’t want it, not really. I didn’t want that life again. The one that came with the drugs, but I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t the life that I craved. I wanted those moments of ecstasy, where I pretended like the past wasn’t real, where I lived for one moment and one moment alone.

I chewed my bottom lip, biting the fleshy surface hard, until the coppery flavor of blood flooded my mouth.

“You ready?” Sarah glanced back at me.

I let go of my lip and swiped it with the back of my hand.

Am I ready?
I wasn’t. I wanted nothing more than to get lost in the simple ecstasy a hit of cocaine could give me. “Yes.” I heard the word and knew I had spoken it. I was stronger than my addiction.
I am.
I tried to recall the freedom I’d basked in earlier while I was shopping with Sarah. The overwhelming euphoria of a new start. Some of the happiness came rushing back, not all of it, but some.

I can do this.

SEVEN

To say I was out of place was an understatement, but no one seemed to notice.

Can they see the poison inside me? The filth that clings to my skin?

But if they did, no one said anything. I was introduced to hordes of people I would never remember. People who happily took my hand and shook it, complimenting my beauty as if I was some sort of ethereal creature. I’d never been complimented and flattered so much in my life, especially not by men in suits and women in designer gowns, sipping expensive champagne.

“And who is this lovely lady, might I ask?”

I smiled up at the man before me. He stood next to Rhett, but was clearly his polar opposite. With dark hair and olive skin, eyes almost black in color, but yet they still sparkled.

“This is my sister Faye. Faye, this is one of the partners at the law firm Roger.”

Roger’s eyes twinkled as he took my hand. “Wow, I didn’t think someone as ugly as Rhett could have such a beautiful sibling.” He kissed the back of my hand and I giggled. I actually fucking giggled.
Who am I?

“They’re step-siblings,” Sarah chimed in.

“Ah, so that explains it.” Roger winked and let my hand go.

A slow country song I’d never heard before started to play.

“Oh, Rhett! It’s our song! We have to go dance.”

Rhett glanced at me and then back at Sarah. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Sarah looked at me as well, before nodding. “Oh, yes you’re right.”

“You don’t have to babysit me,” I said quickly. “I’ll stand right here. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re sure?” Sarah asked.

I nodded.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Rhett’s eyes were on me, much as they had been since we came in. I knew the look there, the one that swirled behind his green irises. It liquefied something inside me.

“I’ll stand with her,” Roger said.

Rhett’s gaze flickered between us with a protective air.

“It’s fine,” I said.

“You’re sure?” Sarah asked.

“Yes, go.” I gave them a small smile. It wasn’t genuine. It was the farthest from genuine as it could be, but they couldn’t tell. I didn’t want them off dancing together. I wanted Rhett to be with me, no matter how wonderful Sarah was.

Rhett gave Roger a hard look before letting Sarah lead him onto the dance floor. I watched as they moved. They were in sync with one another, moving just as if they knew what the other would do. Other couples danced around them, but no one quite compared to them. Glittering yellow lights lit them in a pearly glow. Sarah smiled up at Rhett and I could see her love for him. It was brighter than anything I’d ever seen. It seemed to emanate out of her every pore, surrounding them and everyone else in the room.

I hated the jealousy that swam through me.

“Are you all right?”

I glanced up at Roger who was peering down at me curiously.

“I am.” I nodded quickly.

“I didn’t know that Rhett even had a sister until tonight.”

This took me aback. I had just assumed Rhett had told everyone about the things I had done. “I just recently moved back here.”

“I see. Where did you move from?” He smiled down at me. His eyes were innocent, his intentions nothing but simple and good. I could see it in his face. But something inside me snapped like an unsuspecting twig.

“I’m a prostitute.”

He frowned. “What?”

“A whore.” I watched as his facial expression changed, his eyes flickering through hundreds of questions. I waited for it, for the disgust that would surely come. The hate. I anticipated it with each passing second. If I couldn’t have Rhett’s hate anymore, then I would have someone’s. I could almost taste it, the way the loathing would make me feel.