The Fight (4 page)

A

fter school I decided just to go out the door by Salazar's room. No good reason. When I came to that hallway, it was like déjà vu. Dominic was backed up against the lockers. But this time it was two of those kids in the stupid T-shirts. And they weren't grabbing him, but they were in his face.

“—seen how you look at guys in the locker room,” the guy was saying to Dominic. “You know it's wrong, unnatural.”

“It's only because we care that we don't want to see you go to hell.” The girl put a hand on Dominic's arm. He flinched.

“You can change,” the guy said. “There are camps that can help—”

“Shut up!” I yelled, striding toward them. “Leave him alone!”

The girl faced me. “We're just talking. It's a private conversation.”

“Well, I'm ending your conversation," I spat, reaching out to pull Dominic away from the guy.

That girl I'd seen in Salazar's room before came out in the hall with her hands on her hips. Not letting go of Dominic, I started walking toward her. I just felt we'd be safer down there. The T-shirt kids whispered together and then went the other way.

“What's going on?” the girl asked as we got up to her.

“Those stupid—” I couldn't even think what I wanted to call them.

“Homophobes,” she said, nodding. “A bunch of the churches do this every year. Disgusting. Are you OK?” she asked Dominic.

He looked as if he was trying not to cry. He shrugged and whispered, “Yeah.”

“You guys want to come in? Salazar lets us just hang out in his room. I'm Zoe, by the way.”

I totally wanted to, but Dominic shook his head. “I told my mom I'd be home to babysit.”

“You walking?” I asked. He nodded. “I am too so we can go together.” He didn't look too excited. “We'll see you later,” I said to Zoe. I definitely wanted to talk to her again.

First, we were quiet as we walked, but I couldn't hold back long.

“You don't really think that, do you? That you're going to hell?” I asked.

Dominic shrugged—it was like his answer to everything. “It's in the Bible,” he said finally.

“But so is tons of other stuff no one takes literally!” I said. “Like remember when we learned the Ten Commandments, and it says you can't take the Lord's name in vain. Everyone does that, it's not a big deal.”

“This is different … worse,” he said, sadly.

“But that guy saying you could change,” I said. “That's total BS. Why should you try to change? There's nothing wrong with you.”

Dominic just kept his head down.

Suddenly I remembered that guy in school, Jamie Ballard, who had killed himself last year. I didn't know him, but the rumors were that he was bullied. I felt really scared. Maybe I should tell someone. But Dominic asked me not to.

“Umm, so what are you doing tonight?” I asked.

“Just babysitting,” he said. “My dad doesn't get home till eight. Homework.”

“You wanna do something this weekend?” I asked. I just felt that I needed to keep track of him. “I mean, you could just come over and we could watch a movie or something.”

“Maybe,” he mumbled. “I'm gonna turn here….” It was blocks before he needed to turn, but I guessed he'd rather cut through the alleys than keep walking with me. Still, I got his number. Later, I texted him so he'd have my number, but he didn't reply.

W

hen I got home, my mom was there. I wanted to tell her so bad. What I had seen wasn't good, and I could just tell worse stuff had happened to Dominic. It seemed crazy that no adults were helping him. But I remembered what he'd said about his parents. I couldn't tell my mom without involving them too.

The next couple of days, I walked past Dominic's locker a lot just to see if he was OK. I said hi a few times.

I had decided I was going to make him do something on the weekend. I didn't want it to seem like he was just my pity project. I was trying to think who else I should invite to hang out too. It would be more fun with someone else since Dominic wasn't the best company. And then it wouldn't be heavy like all we did was talk about him getting bullied. We could just have fun like normal people.

By Thursday I'd decided to ask Kim to hang out with us. Then I'd find Dominic in school or text him or call him if I didn't see him.

Kim said sure if it was after seven on Saturday because she had to work. But I couldn't find Dominic.

I hurried home to call him.

My mom doesn't let me take my phone to school. No one's supposed to ever take their phones out at school, of course, but everyone does constantly, including the teachers. They can't ban phones completely because lots of parents are worried about a school shooting or something. Apparently not my mom. She also barely lets me use it after dinner because she says that's “family and homework time.”

When I got home, I had a text from Dominic from a couple of hours earlier.

“:(,” it said.

I sent him three texts.

“What's wrong?”

“Were you in school?”

“Lets make plans 4 weekend. Sat nite good?”

I waited impatiently, flipping through channels on the TV, holding my phone in my lap. After ten minutes I called.

No answer.

Five minutes later. I called again and left a message.

I texted him again.

“RU OK?”

“CALL ME!”

I was feeling totally panicked. I tried to calm down.

Maybe he was sick, and that's what the sad face meant. Maybe he was taking a nap right now. Maybe he left his phone at home when he went somewhere. Maybe it was off. Out of battery. Maybe he shared it with his parents. Or they stopped paying the bill (no, he just texted me, I thought). Maybe he dropped it in the toilet. Maybe he was just sick….

I paced in the kitchen until my parents got home.

“How was school?” Mom asked. Then she frowned. “Didn't you see my note? Why didn't you get the stuff out of the freezer for dinner or turn on the oven?”

I mumbled an apology. Now I saw the note. I had been in the kitchen for over an hour without noticing it.

My mom raced around huffing. She filled a large pot with hot water and threw the chicken in to defrost. My dad rubbed his belly.

“Oh, oh, I'm so hungry. My daughter wants me to die of starvation.” His eyes twinkled at me. I couldn't even summon a smile. My mom pursed her lips.

“I have to leave again in forty minutes for a meeting. You might have to eat without me.” She sniffed.

I just wanted to ask my parents if everything was OK and have them say yes. With my mom in a bad mood, though, I didn't want to start.

Everything is fine—everything is fine
, I told myself.

“Isabel!” my mom snapped. “Could you make the salad? I'm going to just have a sandwich. You'll need to watch the chicken. Papi has some work he needs to do tonight.”

After Mom left, I tried to numb my brain with the radio while I finished making dinner. I called Papi to eat.

“Wow, you set the table!” he said, giving me a squeeze. “I thought that was my job tonight since you were cooking.”

I smiled weakly. We talked a little at dinner. A couple of times I felt Papi looking at me like he was going to ask if I was OK. I just kept my eyes down.

Papi said he'd clean up, so I fled to my room. I'd had my phone in my pocket the whole time, so I knew I hadn't gotten any calls or texts, but I still had to check.

I called and texted Dominic again just because I couldn't help it. Then I thought of something.

My dad was singing along loudly with the radio in the kitchen.

“Papi, do you know the Garcias' phone number?”

“The Garcias?” He looked confused.

“From church,” I said. “Their son Dominic is my age, you know?”

He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Ooh, their son Dominic…” I just shook my head at him. “No, but you can look in the church directory.”

I was already going through the junk drawer.

I went to my room to call, keeping my fingers crossed. It rang and rang. Finally, an old-school-sounding answering machine picked up with a message in Spanish. I hung up.

Then I called back and left a message in Spanish and English.

Now there was nothing left to do except keep my phone close. It was a good thing my mom was gone tonight. I knew she wouldn't remember my phone by the time she got home.

I was in my pajamas and trying to read Zora Neale Hurston for English when Mom came in.

“You're in bed?” she said. I could tell she felt bad about being mad earlier.

“Yeah, just really tired. I'm going to bed after I finish this assignment,” I said.

“I'm exhausted too,” she said, yawning. “I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Good night, sweetie.” She gave me a long hug, and I almost started crying. Maybe I should tell her right now. Then she yawned another huge yawn. “I'll send Papi in to say good night.”

As I lay in the dark, I held the phone in my hand, sometimes staring at the screen. I fell asleep with it under my cheek.

I

woke up to a phone ringing. I groped in my bed, but then I heard my mom in her room.

“Hello? … No, no! Oh my God, ohhhh …” Her voice died off into murmurs. I felt frozen in bed. Then I forced myself to get up and go in my parents' room.

My mom and dad had their arms around each other, and my mom was crying. As soon as she saw me, she grabbed me hard and pulled me against her. My dad put his arms around both of us and put his face in my hair.

“What? What?” I was trying to say. There was a huge knot in my stomach.

My mom pulled away to look at me.

“Dominic Garcia died yesterday. He killed himself.”

M

y mom said I could stay home, but I went to school anyway. I felt like I had to somehow.

I ended up telling my parents everything because my dad remembered that I was trying to call Dominic last night. Then, because it didn't matter anymore, I told them he was gay, being bullied.

“Being bullied? That's terrible,” my mom said. We were all sitting in a row on my parents' bed. They seemed to want me near them. “Did he tell anyone?”

I went into the whole thing, and I could see my mom getting ticked off. “An administrator
said
that?”

Papi patted her arm. “Stay calm.” I could tell Papi was a little freaked by the gay angle. Then we all had to get ready to go.

I didn't see any of my friends before homeroom. I wasn't sure if I was going to burst into tears or what when I did see them.

I had my head down on my desk when the morning announcements came on.

“We've had a tragic loss,” the principal's voice said. “Dominic Garcia, a junior here at Southside, died yesterday from self-inflicted injuries. Out of respect for his family and confidentiality, we cannot give you any more details. Our thoughts and prayers are with Dominic's friends and family. Grief counselors available today for any student who needs to talk to someone. Again, please keep Dominic's family in your prayers.”