The Feud (24 page)

Joey had no intention of following in his so-called boyfriend’s footsteps. He’d known from a very early age that he only liked boys, and was 100% positive that he was gay. He’d been out with a couple of girls, but kissing them had turned his stomach over.

‘Sorry if I snapped at you. Are you OK, Joey?’ David asked him.

Joey nodded. ‘Let’s catch up with Frankie, eh?’

As Eddie left the room to make a few phone calls, Jessica switched on the television. Her mum and dad were both having forty winks and the house seemed so quiet all of a sudden. Flicking through the channels, Jessica spotted a programme where a mother was holding a newborn
baby. ‘Aah,’ Jessica murmured as she realised that the baby looked just like Joey had when he was born. Sighing, Jessica switched channels. The twins were all grown up now. They didn’t need her any more and she didn’t want to depress herself.

‘What’s up? You look sad,’ Eddie said, as he sat down next to her.

Forcing herself to stop being sentimental, Jessica smiled. ‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.’

Hours later, Joey grabbed his sister’s arm. ‘Frankie, hurry up, the cab’ll be waiting outside.’

Frankie was tipsy and in no rush to leave the pub. ‘Tell the cab to go away and come back after twelve. Mum and Dad’ll be all right; they’ll probably be pissed by now anyway.’

Joey shook his head. His sister could be such a pain in the arse sometimes. ‘Look, if we’re late, Mother’ll probably ground us again. You might be willing to take that chance, but I bloody well ain’t. Sod not being allowed out on New Year’s Eve. I wanna celebrate the start of 1988 in style.’

Seeing Joey getting annoyed, Frankie poked her tongue out at him. ‘OK, you win. I’m coming. Just let me say goodbye to the girls.’

‘Where’s David?’ Frankie asked, as she walked outside. ‘He’s staying for a bit. He ain’t gotta be home till after twelve,’ Joey said.

Frankie laughed. ‘No kisses for you tonight then, dear.’

‘Just shut up and get in the car, will you?’ Joey told her sternly.

As the front door slammed, Jessica nudged Eddie and smiled. ‘They’re bang on time. It’s one minute to eleven, bless ’em,’ she said.

Frankie bounded into the lounge. ‘As it’s Christmas, can me and Joey have a proper drink, Mum?’ she asked boldly.

Jessica looked at Eddie. ‘I don’t see why not,’ he said.

‘We’ll both have a vodka and Coke then,’ Frankie said, sitting in between her grandparents.

Joey sat down next to his mum. ‘How was your evening, love? Did you have a nice time with David?’ she asked.

Frankie laughed. ‘He always has a nice time with David, don’t you, Joey?’

Joey scowled at his sister and quickly changed the subject.

Tanked up on Baileys, Joyce was in a playful mood. ‘Why don’t we have a little game? Who fancies playing
Give Us a Clue
?’ she asked.

Eddie laughed. ‘You mean charades, Joyce?’

‘Whatever.’ Joyce laughed. ‘Never been the same, that programme, since Michael Aspel left and Parky took over.’

‘Who’s going first?’ Jessica enquired.

Joyce leaped up and waved her hands.

‘TV, two syllables,’ Joey said.

Crossing her legs, Joyce urged her family to guess the first syllable.

‘You look like you’re busting for a piss, the way you’re standing, Joycie,’ Eddie said, taking the mickey.

Joyce turned to Stanley.

‘Knees? Legs?’ he asked.

Unable to control her annoyance, Joyce let rip at him. ‘Didn’t you notice me crossing me legs? It’s
Crossroads
, you silly old bastard,’ she said, flopping down in the armchair.

Eddie stood up to take his turn.

‘Film, two words. The something,’ Jessica said.

‘
The Godfather
,’ Frankie shouted correctly.

‘Clever girl,’ Stanley said, impressed.

Frankie smiled. ‘That was easy, it’s Dad’s favourite film.’

‘Sounds about right,’ Stanley mumbled, as he nodded politely.

Already bored with Christmas, Joey stood up. ‘I’m really tired. I’m gonna go to bed, if that’s OK.’

Frankie nodded. ‘Me too,’ she said, finishing her drink.

‘Do you want waking up early to open your presents?’ Jessica asked them.

‘Leave it out, Mum. We asked for just money; we’re fifteen, not five,’ Frankie replied, laughing.

Seeing Eddie yawn, Jessica smiled. ‘Shall we finish this game tomorrow and go to bed now?’ she said.

Eddie nodded. ‘Are yous two staying up for a bit?’ he asked his in-laws.

Joyce stood up. ‘No, we’ve had enough as well. Come on, Stanley, leave that drink, you’ve had enough. Come on, chop-chop.’

Having little alternative, Stanley left the glass of Scotch and followed his wife up the stairs.

Jessica felt glum as she pulled the quilt over herself. She had been in a funny mood all night, and was struggling to snap out of it. Eddie got undressed and snuggled up next to her. Planting kisses on the back of her neck, he asked her what was wrong.

‘I’m fine, honest I am,’ Jessica insisted.

‘No, you’re not. We’ve been married for a long time, Jess, and I know when something’s wrong.’

Jessica turned to face him. ‘You’re gonna think I’m ever so silly if I tell you.’

Eddie leaned over her and moved her fringe out of her eyes. ‘Tell me, I promise I won’t think you’re silly.’

Jessica struggled for the right words. ‘It’s just that now
the kids are older, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas any more. I’ve noticed it this year more than any other. They’ll soon be leaving school and it’s as though they don’t need me, Ed. I feel like I’ve been made redundant all of a sudden.’

Eddie saw a tear roll down her cheek and held her close. ‘Ssh, don’t cry, Jess,’ he whispered.

He didn’t really know what to say to her. He was glad the kids were nearly off their hands, but he tried to put himself in her shoes. From the time they were babies, Jess had been stuck indoors, nurturing them. He’d always been out working and, although he hated admitting it, he’d barely noticed them growing up. Eddie had always been an impulsive bastard and tonight was no exception. It broke his heart to see his wife look so sad. He loved her so much, he would literally do anything in his power to make her happy.

‘Let’s have another baby,’ he said to her.

Jessica turned over and looked at him with an incredulous expression. ‘What? We can’t – I’m thirty-three and you’re forty-six.’

Eddie laughed. ‘So? Me dick still works, don’t it?’

Jessica shook her head. ‘Oh, we can’t, Ed. What will me mum and dad say? And the twins would be horrified.’

Smiling, Eddie straddled her and refused to move until she agreed. ‘Fuck your parents and fuck the kids. This is all about me and you, Jess. It’s our future, no one else’s.’

‘Are you really serious or are you just winding me up?’ Jessica asked him.

‘I’m as serious as the day I asked you to marry me. Come on, Jess, let’s go for it, eh?’

Jessica thought over his suggestion. She’d thought her nappy-changing days were well and truly finished and she hadn’t expected this bombshell to be dropped on her.
‘We’ll have to talk about it properly, weigh up the pros and cons,’ she said.

Eddie smiled. Unlike him, Jess was sensible. ‘Go on, say yes, you know you want to. Just think about that pitter-patter of tiny feet.’

Jessica grinned. It would be lovely to have a focus and be needed once more.

Knowing how she hated being tickled, Eddie did exactly that. ‘Go on, let’s be devils. You know I’ve got super-sperm, don’t ya? Well, this time next year, we could have a cot in that corner and it could be our baby’s first Christmas.’

Laughing hysterically, tears ran down Jessica’s face as she begged him to stop tickling her.

‘Say yes and I’ll stop,’ Eddie told her.

‘Yes,’ Jessica yelled. ‘Yes, yes, yes!’

On Christmas morning, Jessica woke early with a big smile on her face. Desperate to check that her husband had meant what he’d said the previous evening, she gently prodded him until he opened his eyes.

‘What time is it?’ Eddie mumbled.

‘It’s half-past six. You did mean what you said last night, didn’t you? It wasn’t the drink talking, was it?’

Eddie smiled at her. ‘Of course I meant it. Why don’t we have a little practice now. No time like the present, eh?’

Jessica giggled as Eddie leaped on top of her. ‘Be quiet, Ed. I don’t want me mum and dad to hear us.’

‘Well, in that case, I’ll make as much fucking noise as possible,’ Eddie told her laughing.

Unable to put up with Joyce’s snoring any longer, Stanley decided to get up and have a shower. At home, he and his wife slept in separate bedrooms. When they stayed at Jessica’s, they were forced to share, unfortunately.

Not wanting to wake Joyce up, Stanley decided to tiptoe towards the en-suite bathroom in the dark. Seconds later, he caught his leg on the chair and fell flat on his face.

Joyce woke with a fright and switched on the light.
‘What are you doing, you senile old goat?’ she screeched at him.

Stanley stood up. ‘And a happy Christmas to you too, dear,’ he said, slamming the bathroom door.

After making love to his wife, Eddie had a quick shower and went downstairs to make breakfast. Smoked salmon and scrambled eggs washed down with a glass of champagne was a Christmas-morning ritual. The festive season was the one time of the year when Eddie mucked in with the cooking to give his long-suffering wife a break.

‘Morning, Stanley. Do you fancy some smoked salmon and scrambled eggs?’ he asked.

Stanley pulled a face. ‘Makes me feel ill, that bleedin’ salmon. Ain’t got any bacon, have you?’

Eddie smiled as his father-in-law shuffled into the living room. Poor old Stanley had never been high up in the class stakes, bless him.

The twins ambled downstairs as the rest of the household were eating. ‘Where’s ours?’ Frankie said, annoyed that no one had called them.

Eddie chuckled. ‘Go and make something yourself, you lazy pair of sods.’

Jessica put on the Christmas CD and began to sort through the many presents under the tree.

‘Do we have to listen to this rubbish, Mum? Can’t we put on some house music or something?’ Frankie complained.

‘No, this is staying on,’ Jessica said, grinning at Eddie. Jess was so excited about their baby plans, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was the best Christmas present Eddie could have given her.

As all the gifts were being opened, Eddie studied his son. Joey was nothing like Gary and Ricky at all. Dressed
in bleached jeans with a pink jumper, he looked and acted like a poof. Even the way he opened his gifts was done in a feminine way; he kept squealing like a fucking girl. Eddie sighed. Thank Christ Joey had brought a couple of girlfriends home earlier this year. Eddie was relieved that his son was actually into birds, as over the years he’d had his doubts. Can you imagine? Eddie Mitchell’s son, the poof: he’d never have lived that one down.

‘This is for you, Dad. It’s from me and Joey,’ Frankie yelled, handing him a present.

‘Sorry, angel, I was in a dream world there,’ Ed said, as he unwrapped the Pringle jumper. ‘Thanks, kids,’ Eddie said, handing his wife a small velvet box.

Jessica opened it and squealed with delight. ‘Oh, Ed, it’s beautiful,’ she said, as she studied the diamond ring.

Joyce snatched it from her and showed it to Stanley. ‘Look, dear, a diamond ring. Better than them poxy slippers you bought me, don’t you think?’

With all the giving and receiving over, Eddie stood up. ‘I’m just gonna give my family a ring, then I’ll pour us some more drinks.’

Busy putting the wrapping paper into black bin liners, Jessica looked up. ‘Ring Ray for us, Ed, and bring the phone in here so Mum and Dad can talk to him.’

Eddie rang his dad first, but got no answer. He than rang Paulie. ‘Is the old man there yet?’ he asked his brother.

‘Nah. If he ain’t at home, then he’s probably over Mum’s grave or on his way,’ Paulie told him.

About to ring Raymond, Eddie was thrilled when the phone rang and it was Gary and Ricky in Tenerife. ‘Merry Christmas, Dad. Gary’s pissed already,’ Ricky said, laughing.

Eddie chuckled. ‘How you getting on? What’s the weather like?’

‘It’s fucking well hot, Dad. The apartment is the nuts and there’s plenty of crumpet out here. We’re gonna spend today on the beach with two little sorts we met yesterday,’ Ricky told him.

Gary snatched the phone from his younger brother. ‘I ain’t pissed, Dad, take no notice of him. He was well gone last night, you know what a lightweight he is.’

‘Where you having your Christmas dinner? Have you booked anywhere?’ Eddie asked Gary.

‘Nah. We ain’t gonna bother. It’s too hot for a roast, so we’ll have a barbecue on the beach instead. Listen, Dad, the pips are going, we’ll call you in a couple of days. Have a good one and give our love to –’

Eddie smiled as the money ran out. Gary and Ricky were obviously having a whale of a time, the lucky bastards.

Punching in Raymond’s mobile number, Eddie could tell that he was already at his girlfriend’s house. ‘What you talking all posh for, you wanker?’ he ribbed him.

‘I’m not. Don’t start all that tomorrow when we come over,’ Raymond whispered.

Eddie chuckled as he took the phone into the living room. Polly, Raymondo’s new bird, was a posh bit of stuff, by all accounts, and came from an extremely wealthy family.

‘The prodigal son,’ Eddie said, handing the phone to Joyce.

‘Hello, Raymond. Are you having a nice time, love? What’s their house like?’

‘Yep, I’m having a lovely time thanks, Mum,’ Raymond replied, ignoring her second question.

‘What’s the house like?’ Joyce prompted him once again.

‘Yes, happy Christmas, Mum. Can I say hello to Dad and Jess now?’ Raymond asked.

Disappointed she hadn’t got any more out of him, Joyce handed the phone to Stanley. ‘He obviously can’t talk properly; her parents must be in the room,’ she said to Jessica.

‘Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, son,’Stanley said, handing the phone to Jessica.

Jessica wished Ray happy Christmas and asked what time he would be arriving the following day.