The Fell Good Flue (24 page)

I said, “yes, I got two dogs as well before the roof guard got the last one, the meat is up for trade and the buck is being taken care of for me.”
Brandy, “when you go out to say good morning, the whole town hears about it, and we are set for another week.”
I said, “I have had some good luck this week, and Sage is making use of the time spent shopping.”
She said, “yes he is, soon I will need to put him in the goat yard, and let him run free-range. Then we will not need to change him anymore, just hose him down before taking him home.” I said, “would that be after the terrible two’s? I think that the wolf and him could grow up together until then, and I’m sure Laurence can spare a little more straw.”
Brandy, “I guess we should wait until he’s running around first, then he can catch a goat to nurse on.”
I said, “I don’t know, women are easier to catch than goats, that’s why Laurence has Betty.” She said, “yes, this one got a hold of me right after it got born, and he just don’t want to let go.” We headed into the liven room and I said, “I know the feeling, that’s why I hate to stay away.” Brandy, “well if you didn’t get your fill at the goat park, then there is some in the cooler, Sage has dibs on the rest.”
I said, “no matter how early I get up, he always calls dibs first.”
She said, “he’s up more than you are, sometimes thrice a night.”
I said, “I remember something about thrice a night and still no milk, but I can’t remember what I wrote about it.”
Brandy, “sounds like a personal problem, you should see someone about it.”
I said, “that’s Brandy for, “it’s time to talk about something else.”
She said, “we can talk about anything you like dear, perhaps the floss picks you got from Laurence. Was there anything in particular you were trying to get out of your teeth?” I said, “short hairs, here is one of them.”
Brandy, “this is from a redhead.”
I said, “Laurence gave me some raspberry Brandy.”
She said, “that sounds like it would go good in a cup of tea.”
I pulled out the bottle and said, “make two.”
So we had tea and bread with peanut butter, as I waited a bit to see what the day would bring. The drums outside told of my shoot, meat that was being traded, and that rabbits have been seen near the field to be worked. I looked the streets over from my window and cleaned my guns, then Jacob came over and we had a smoke on the roof. Brandy put together a few thing for a cook out, and we used our scopes to spot for things to shoot, but the only things we saw were too small to shoot with our rifles. If you want to eat a squirrel or rabbit you don’t want to blow away the wall behind them as well. Jacob said the 22s the field guards were using were just right for small things.
I said, “yes, but not good when it come to beating an ark at long distance. I bet if we walk the brush and spray it with our machine guns we can get a few rabbits.”
Jacob, “yes, but that would be a waste of ammo, better to pick them off one by one.” Brandy, “traps would be more sensible, but someone could clean them out before you got back to them.”
I said, “unless you already had guards to watch things for you, then it’s just run some traps and check them.”
Jacob, “so we run a string of them around the edge of the field near the stream, then check latter for the rabbit BBQ.”
Brandy, “the traps are somewhere near the sporting goods area of the mall, near the field, a horse could draw a palette of them for you.”
I said, “and I even know people that will do the set work for us. What do you say, want to start something?”
Jacob, “smoking with you always starts something, finding the end is another story. Can we both fly there?”
I said, “well you’re a bit much for me to carry, but you’re welcome to use my flyer.” Brandy, “then you will barrow mine, nice move.”
Jacob, “well I guess you have tested it enough to be safe, some of the zip lines out there are not.”
So we had a brownie for the air, and took off when we were ready. There was enough compressed air in the tanks to keep the fan running, with the engine off on takeoff, and we launched ourselves into the sky. A run over the edge and up we went, over the other buildings we would have had to zip one to the other from, if we were not airborne. We waved to a few that were on watch, and I got out my loudspeaker saying, “death from above!” Then as we got close to the field I turned on my music with the speaker blasting my attack. We glided down to the edge of the field, and I turned the music off, then went to talk to the man with the horse.
Stan said, “that was quite an entrance, I thought we were being invaded.”
I said, “you were, we are here to steal your horse.”
He said, “no need to seal what is gladly offered, how can I help?”
Jacob, “a palette of rabbit traps from the mall to the edge of the brush.”
Stan, “what a good idea, I wonder why none of them have done it by now.”
I said, “because they were waiting to see if the top guns wanted to do it first, or we see things quicker than others.”
Stan, “no doubt about how quick you are, both in eye and wit, let’s go for it.” So we headed to the mall with a few we picked up on the way. The crowd there was light, as a matter of fact it was dead, so taking what you wanted was only hampered by a few snakes. The metal traps were in a dry place, so they were still in new condition, and still on their shipping palette. We put a rope to it and made our way back, stopping once when a man had to clear the path from a large rattle snake. He was far enough ahead that the horse did not get scared, and had it in a bag shortly, another meal for some one. Then onward we went to the field, and unloaded it all. We told them where to set the traps up, and went scooting the area near the stream. Five men were behind us looking for signs as we walked the water’s edge to see if we could find fish, but the sun was high and they were staying in the shadows. We helped them move some of the traps, and set up a few ourselves, then headed back to the flyers. Stan said, “that will cut down on the future pest problem, and feed the workmen as well.” I said, “and that’s how we get things done, keep a close eye out for snakes, and hang on to that horse.”
We were then off, up into the air we came out of, with my music playing a Viking opera. I quickly turned it off and yelled out to Jacob, “if I play that too much they will start to shoot at us.”
He said, “if you play that too much I will start to shoot at you.”
Then once more I let it rip on my way in to my roof top.
Brandy was up there at the time and said, “you sure do make an entrance. How did they fly?” Jacob, “like a zip-line in the sky.”
Brand, “were the traps still there and in good shape?”
I said, “still on the palette, and the horse dragged them to the field, then the men did the deploying.”
We sat down and had a drink of ice tea Brandy had made, but the ice had melted, though it was still cold and good.
Jacob lit up and said, “now all we have to do is wait for supper, with any luck it will be barbeque rabbit.”
I said, “yes, and most of the work was done by others, but they can have all the extras.” Brandy, “did you bring me anything from the mall?”
I said, “I was focused on moving a load, I was notshopping.”
Jacob pulled out a five foot leather whip, and setting it on the table said, “I saw this and thought of you.”
Brandy picked it up and gave it a crack saying, “this will go nicely with my collecting, nice to see someone was paying attention to more that their load.”
Jacob, “I don’t like to go anywhere empty handed, and that’s not making its way back to my place, she don’t need one.”
I said, “it’s not about need, she just likes to have something smooth and hard in her hands.” Brandy, “and don’t forget about long, I like long ones.”
I said, “that’s because you ware out the short ones.”
Jacob, “are we still talking about whips?”
Brandy took a sip of her tea and smiled, I did the same.
Jacob then said, “never mind, I don’t want to know.”
I pulled out the raspberry brandy and we put a shot in the tea, then passed the pipe around. During the next half hour the drums told us two rabbits were already caught in the traps we set out, then a few more during the rest of the hour, as we sat back eating cheese and relaxing. Barb stopped by to see what we were up to, and the two women worked in the garden for awhile, as Jacob and I went to look at my elevator.
I said, “I told her I would try to get it working again, but I’m not sure if it wouldn’t just be safer to make it drop.”
Jacob, “I don’t know, the cables look good to me, you just need to run new power lines to the wenches. Your windmill puts out enough juice, even in a mild breeze up here, to run the thing. Of course you will need another palette of batteries as a backup, and cutting the call to the rest of the floors would help.”
I said, “yes, only the elevator controls and top floor, I have a key for that.”
Jacob, “has anyone tried to use it since the power went off? That is to say get it running again.” I said, “it’s been locked in place here on the top floor, the last place it was when all hell broke loose. I never tripped the holding brakes or put juice to the systems, but we may as well see what will happen.”
So we got a palette of batteries and set them up near the lift wench, then rand a new line over to my generator. I used my heavy-duty rubber gloves, and made the connection, and nothing blew or started on fire. We looked over the breakers and all seemed well, so I sent it to the bottom. The wench turned on with a jump, and the box shook the cables as it started to go. Then Jacob said, “is the bottom clear?”
I said, “last I looked, but that was months ago.”
We listened as the cable ran out its stretch, and twanged while the dust got shook off of it, waiting for the cargo elevator to hit bottom or something else. Thirty stories it had to go, and the time dragged on as we heard strange sounds coming from the shaft. Then the wench stopped and we heard the echo of a bell ring, and a few moments latter it rang again. I pushed the button for it to come back up, and the wench started up again, with a wine that sounded like it was in pain. Then as it keep pulling the motor smooth out, and the cable wrapped smoothly, we would soon see the lift again. We lit up our pipes and went around to the doors, waiting for its return, as I said, “well now that was the easy part, which one of us tries it first will be the hard part.”
He said, “not at all, your house, I can find my ownway down thank you,” then the doors opened and the bell rang with him saying, “don’t ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.” I blew a puff of smoke at it and said, “let’s get Brandy to try it, she will try anything.” Then we went back up to the roof and the women, and as we got near the table Barb said, “did you men fix what you were working on?”
Jacob said, “yes, go try it out, we need a test subject.”
I said, “no, that’s Brandy’s job.”
Jacob, “I just thought it would look less suspicious if they dint go together, if you know what I mean.”
Brandy, “we can send the car down in it first, then I’ll decide if I have further need of it.” I said, “do you think she put me through all that work just to get rid of the car?” Jacob, “I try not to think around women, it’s not good for the health.”
We sat down and had a tall glass or tea with honey, and talked about what we did. Brandy said, “I hope this new hook up will not put the lights out, but then you were always good at finding things in the dark.”
I said, “yes, but remembering what happened is another thing.”
Barb, “feel grateful, I got way too many times in the dark I want to forget, but then he says good morning.”
Jacob, “I stopped saying good morning to you a long time ago.”
Barb, “only because when I’m looking at your face I say, “what’s good about it?” Brandy, “yes, they do tend to misunderstand things like that.”
I said, “here’s an idea, party until just before dawn, then sleep until afternoon and avoid morning all together.”
Jacob, “sounds like a plan to me. How many rabbits have we caught so far?” Barb, “the drums said two dozen by the time you came up, that’s rich trapping grounds.” I said, “I would raise some to eat, but why bother when they’re so easy to catch.” Jacob, “it’s never the catching that’s hard, it’s the keeping, and seeing to distribution that puts the sweet into it.”
Brandy, “that’s when having a reputation works for you.”
Barb, “and not one for pulling short hairs out of your teeth either.”
Jacob, “I told you, I was drinking raspberry brandy, that’s why it was red.”
Barb, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Jacob, “neither do I, that’s what happens when I try to think around women.” Brandy, “they both can stop at just think.”
I said, “hay Jacob, want to go for a ride in my car?”
Jacob, “sure, start it up and point me toward the edge.”
We all laughed and brandy said, “no driving that thing on the roof, even if you do find fuel that will work in it.”
I said, “we don’t need to start it, I can push it with the power palette jack.”
Brandy, “in that case the car will never be in the way, and it does have a nice sound system, I guess we won’t be needing that elevator after all.”
Barb, “but nice work men, we’ll let you know when to bring up a truck load of food up in it.” Then the two of them started to laugh, so I said, “Barb, are those your panties with the hockey sticks and words “penalty box” written on them, in my hot tub room?”
Jacob, “is that where she left them last night?”
Barb, “oh you can have them, I have thirty more at home just like them.”
Jacob, “next month I think she is going with a yellow G string.”
Brandy, “I need a new leather thong, the last one was chewed threw, and I don’t think it was the rats.”
I said, “you know she makes things all the time, just to see how far it will go, but I have not chewed a thong in a long time.”
Barb, “this one is always chewing on something, it’s hard to believe what he puts in his mouth.” Jacob, “I don’t know why, most of it is put there by you, including many of my words.” And Jacob and I did a high five with a good smack, the he passed the pipe. We all started laughing again, and were not sure at what. I took a puff and just shook my head at what a trip it is to have company. As the time passed, so did the suns power over our day, and I went to get the rabbits we would use for tonight. I stayed at the field just long enough to get four rabbits and hear the word about all the rest, then back I came, just like going to the store for supper. This time I left the music off, and listened to the wind as the night sky was coming for us, and floated home in silence to land safely. With a string of rabbits in hand I returned to the barbeque area, and setting them down said, “the drums may have been ahead of themselves, the count was just at two dozen when I got there, here are four of them.”