The Felix Chronicles: Freshmen (41 page)

“Three.” Lucas tossed her one. “David thought of everything. He’s like a miracle worker.”

“My parents drink this sometimes.” Caitlin turned her bottle over in her hands, eyeing the label like a sommelier. “This is like a two-hundred-dollar bottle of wine, you know. And there’s twelve in there.”

“You’re kidding.” Allison uncorked her bottle with a resounding
pop
and then handed her opener to Felix. Their eyes met. She looked concerned for a second. Then she smiled. Felix wondered if she was expecting him to do something. He gave her a little smile and shrugged, trying to let her know, that all things considered, he was doing all right.

“Why so surprised?” Lucas said. “This is how Minnesota rolls. This is what’s called experiencing the mystery and lifestyle of Minnesota.”

Allison threw her cork at Lucas and it bounced off his forehead. “And that’s what I call throwing a cork at Minnesota’s head,” she said proudly.

“Nice shot, Allison,” Caitlin said. “You’re such a dork, Lucas.”

Lucas just grinned.

“What in the world are you doing?” Harper asked Felix with an appalled look on her face. “You’re not supposed to kill it.”

Felix had already gouged his finger with the corkscrew and was thoroughly destroying the cork. “I’ve never opened a bottle of wine before. I’m from Coos Bridge, remember? We drink cheap beer in the woods.”

“Need help?” Harper reached out for the bottle.

“I got it.” Allison snatched it away from Felix. “Someone has to represent our town or everyone will think we were raised in caves.” Harper shrank back to her pillow as Allison uncorked the bottle and handed it back to him.

Lucas clapped his hands and rubbed them together in anticipation, looking all around. “We’re going to play a game. If anyone doesn’t want to participate, you can leave and go find some new friends. We’ll do this in stages. Stage one is drinking a glass of fancy wine. So pour yourself a big glass.”

Everyone did.

“Now chug it,” Lucas commanded.

“Chug it?” Harper sounded surprised. “I thought we were being fancy high society types?”

Lucas shook his head. “The wine’s fancy. We’re not. We’re in college. Chug it.” He lifted his glass to his mouth and started gulping it down.

Felix took a sip. It was smooth, rich and smoky—nothing at all like the wine he’d had with his parents occasionally at dinner. He took a bigger drink. Everybody was drinking, and drinking fast. He took two big gulps and swallowed it down. It was really good. When he finished, he rested the crystal glass on his lap and wiped his mouth. Only Caitlin had any left. He watched as she tilted her glass and quickly drained the last little bit.

“I didn’t know wine could taste like that,” Felix said.

Everyone was smiling. And because of the way the streamers were shifting around and brushing against the ceiling light, their teeth all appeared green.

“Pour another glass,” Lucas said. “It’s stage two. Time to play the game.”

“This is so much fun!” Caitlin filled her glass with the dark red liquid. “What’s the game?”

Lucas filled his own glass. “I call it the secret game. It’s all about sharing your deepest, darkest, most intimate secrets.”

“Like what?” Allison gave Felix an apprehensive glance.

“Could be anything,” Lucas explained. “But if it’s not deep, dark, or intimate, you get a
fail
. And if you fail, you have to do it again.”

Caitlin frowned. “But who decides what—?”

“I decide,” Lucas said bluntly. “I’m the judge. I’ll be fair, but you can’t argue my decisions. If you don’t agree with the rules, you know where the door is. Everyone in?”

No one objected.

“This is gonna be so awesome!” Lucas grinned wide. “But I’ll fail your asses if your secrets suck. And you can’t leave the room until you get a pass.”

“I live here.” Felix laughed. He wasn’t unaware of the fact that he was commenting on the taste of the wine—and enjoying the wine—and laughing and joking around like nothing out of the ordinary had recently happened. But what was he supposed to do? Go back to Woodrow’s Room and hide for the rest of the semester?

“That threat wasn’t meant so much for you.” Lucas smiled.

Allison took a huge gulp of wine. “So who’s going first?”

“I’m the judge,” Lucas said slowly, sitting up straight. He held out his hand, palm turned up, like a statue of a Roman senator delivering some grand speech. “I make the rules.” He paused. “The lucky bastard who gets to start us off is… drum roll please… Lucas Mayer. Me. I’ll go.”

“This better be good,” Caitlin told him.

“I do everything good,” Lucas replied.

“I think you mean
well
,” Caitlin corrected.

“Step off, Little C.” Lucas brought his glass up to his nose and gave it a big sniff before swallowing down another mouthful. “Well here goes. Whose idea was this, anyway?” He laughed. “What was I thinking? Okay. So then. Well—”

“Get on with it,” Allison heckled. “C’mon!”

Lucas cupped his glass in both hands and stared straight ahead. A string of personalized balloons (FELIX was scrawled out in glittery gold letters) suddenly dropped from the ceiling and he swatted them away. “I was held back in the first grade,” he said, looking at their faces. “I had to take it twice. And I got special-ed all through high school.”

After a long silence, Caitlin said, “Why?”

“I’m dyslexic.” Lucas turned to face her.

“Is that the reading thing?” Felix asked.

Lucas nodded. “For me, yeah. So in first grade, I didn’t have trouble with anything else. You know math or coloring or whatever you do when you’re six. But I couldn’t read or spell for shit. My teacher didn’t catch on for almost the whole year, and I think my parents were in denial. But then the school got involved and wouldn’t let me go to the next grade. My parents had me tested and they figured out I have dyslexia.”

“That must’ve been really tough,” Harper said.

“It was embarrassing,” Lucas replied thoughtfully. “The word just sounds so bad:
Dyslexia
. It sounds like some awful STD or something. But it really just means I have a little trouble with reading and writing.”

“Then you got help?” Allison asked.

“Uh-huh. Once everyone knew what the problem was, it wasn’t a big deal. I met with a specialist a few times a month through high school. It’s really not an issue now. It just takes me a little longer to read and write. It doesn’t help on tests. That’s for sure.”

“You told your profs, didn’t you?” Caitlin said.

Lucas shook his head sharply. “Hell no.”

“Why not?” Caitlin said, surprised. “They’d give you extra time. I think they have to. I think it’s a law or school policy or something.”

Lucas filled his glass and then Caitlin’s. “I didn’t tell my profs, and I’m not going to. I don’t want special treatment. I don’t have a disability. If I can’t do something as good—
as well—
as everyone else, it’s on me to improve. I don’t want to play by a different set of rules.”

“I can’t believe how much I respect you right now.” Caitlin shook her head in wonderment. “What’s wrong with me? I hope I’m not getting sick.”

Lucas smiled at her. “I wouldn’t get used to it.”

“Here’s to Lucas.” Allison raised her glass in a toast. “If anyone deserves to have their own cologne, it’s him. Cheers.” They touched glasses and drank.

Lucas did a little bow. “Okay, okay, if everyone’s done basking in my greatness, I’ll give myself a pass. Next up is our own football hero. A dude who’s so fast you have to wonder if he’s gonna take flight… Felix August.”

“My turn?” Felix tensed up like a cat getting ready to pounce. “Okay. Let’s see...”
What can I tell them?
How about, I’m the Belus. If I don’t defeat the Drestian, all of you and the rest of the world will either be dead or his slaves. And the Drestian, in case you’re wondering, is Lofton Ashfield. You know, the richest man in the world. No. How about, hey guys, I was immaculately conceived. That would go over well. The St. Rose Ghost? The cemetery below campus? Or how about, I actually have no idea if I’m sane or not. Nah. I could tell them about
… “I got one.”

“Okay,” Lucas said eagerly. “Let’s hear it.”

Felix gulped down half his glass. “So after the game, I was in the bathroom. And then… um… Jimmy Clay—you know who he is, right?”

“The huge steroid freak,” Lucas said.

“Yeah. So out of nowhere he jumps me and hits me in the stomach.”

Caitlin nodded hesitantly.

“And then what…?” Harper asked.

“It hurt like hell!” Felix shouted.

Lucas shook his head disapprovingly. “Am I gonna have to explain the rules to you again? Your secret has to be deep, dark or intimate. Jimmy’s done that to like fifty kids in the last week. He’s an animal. They should put him in a cage. But so what?”

“Really?” Felix said.
No pass?
But Jimmy attacked him and threw him in a pool of piss. It was humiliating and disgusting. “You’re not gonna…”

“Sorry, dude,” Lucas said. “Fail. Fail. Fail. I think you should drink the rest of your bottle while you think about the consequences of your actions.” He smiled. “Okay. Next up, hailing from the same town as the kid whose secret really, really sucked is… Allison Jasner!”

“Yay!” Caitlin cheered, clapping one hand against her crystal.

Allison looked around the room nervously. “Wow. This is harder than I thought it’d be. Okay then. Whew. Well, do you guys remember when we first met? Our first night. We were right here in this room talking about the Faceman. Remember?”

“You don’t look anything like the Faceman,” Lucas told her. “So if you’re trying to confess to the murders, don’t bother.”

“Is it because I have a nose and both ears?” Allison smiled anxiously. “We were talking about who was an only child. And I… I lied. I told you guys I have two sisters. I don’t. I mean, I have two sisters. But they’re not my real sisters. I was adopted.” She looked first right then left to make sure everyone was listening. They were. No one was going to miss this. “My parents died in a car crash when I was six. CPS took me because I didn’t have any other family. I was shipped around a lot. Lots of different schools. Lots of group homes. Lots of different people. And then the Jasners adopted me when I was fourteen. So I’m a… I’m a foster kid.”

“No shit,” Lucas said in a low voice.

“I can’t even imagine how terrible that must’ve been.” Caitlin dabbed at her tears. “I had no idea. You were such a little girl. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s nobody’s fault, and there’s nothing to be sorry about.” All nervousness was gone from Allison’s voice now. “I was never treated badly. There were a few places that, well… they treated me fine, but let’s just say I didn’t feel much love. But the Jasners are great. I love my mom and dad. My sisters are pretty awful, but I’m just glad to be where I’m at. It could’ve been much worse.” She smiled and added: “And that’s that.”

“Pass!” Lucas looked up from the bottle he’d just uncorked. “No brainer. Definite pass.” He poured himself a little and then topped off Harper. “Okay, here we go again with this year’s déjà vu entrant, Felix August. Remember: deep, dark or intimate. Make me proud.”

“Okay. This one’s good.”

Allison gave him a look.

“So you guys know that in high school I dated the same girl for like the last three years?”

“Emma?” Lucas said.

“Uh-huh.” Felix looked down at his hands. “So I told everyone—or at least Lucas anyway—that I broke up with her. But the truth is, she um… she broke up with me.” He looked up.

No one was impressed.

“Felix, Felix, Felix,” Lucas said softly, shaking his head.

“Wait!” Felix raised a hand in protest. “It gets better. Well, worse, actually. I never told anyone
why
she dumped me. I don’t even think Allison knows and she’s sort of friends with her. So a few weeks after graduation, we were at this party at the lake. Emma had a few wine coolers in her, and she came up to me and said she wanted to talk. She had this look on her face. She was so… sure of herself. So confident. She told me that… that I was like everyone else in that shitty little hick town. That I was going to flunk out of college and be back watching football games on Friday nights with my loser friends talking about the glory days. She said she was going to do something with her life. She was going to be somebody. She had to leave me behind because I was going to drag her down. If she stayed with me, she’d end up living in a trailer eating Cheetos and drinking beer at the bowling alley. She said I was one step removed from white trash. And I guess that um… I guess maybe I believed her.”

“Oh my God!” Harper burst out. “That’s terrible. What a bitch!”

Allison emptied her glass and reached for her bottle. “The next time I see her, I’m going to tear her lungs out. And just so you know, I’ll never talk to her again. I haven’t even heard from her since last summer. And she was always about the big city. She’s in Seattle now, and she thinks she’s all cool. She always talked about living in New York or London. That’s just how she is.” She held up her empty bottle. “Hey Sota. Can you get me another one of these? This stuff’s delicious.”

Lucas filled Felix’s glass and then handed the bottle to Allison. “Sometimes losing something is the best thing that can ever happen to you.” He clanked his glass against Felix’s and took a long drink. “And I’ll give Allison a hand if she needs help removing that bitch’s lungs.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been over her for a long time.” Felix glanced at Harper, hoping she might be smiling, but her glass was to her lips and he couldn’t see her face. “But getting dumped is kinda embarrassing. Especially when they do it like that.”

“I wouldn’t know.” Lucas grinned. “Okay, so this time, I’m giving Felix a…
pass!
Next up, we have, okay, let’s see, looks like I’m down to the two California chicks. I’m gonna go with… Caitlin DuPont. You’re up, Little C.”

“It’s a good thing I’m drunk. This is hard. Geesh.” Caitlin took a deep breath. “Okay. So my secret isn’t dark, and it isn’t intimate, but it is deep. Wait—maybe it is intimate! Oh, I don’t know. Whatever. You better give me a pass!” She made a face at Lucas to make sure he knew she was being serious. “Okay. Here goes. I’m a… I’m a virgin.”