The Favor (31 page)

“There are a lot of things I haven’t done, Nan.”

Nan patted her hand and sank back against the pillows, her eyes closing all the way. “Still have time....”

Janelle sat there for a few minutes, watching, then left her grandmother to sleep. She was cleaning up in the kitchen when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out, saw the number and pressed the button to send it automatically to voice mail. A few seconds later, when the phone buzzed again, this time with a message, she deleted it without listening. Then she opened up an app she’d downloaded some time before to deal with a blind date who’d become a little too stalkerish for her tastes. She entered her dad’s number.

Blocked.

THIRTY-NINE

SHE FOUND THE the report card in the trash can. The grades weren’t terrible—mostly A’s with a B in science, but math was still a big D. Janelle looked at it carefully, then took it upstairs.

Bennett was hastily tucking a comic under his pillow when she opened the door. “What?”

She ignored the comic. Held up the report card. His face fell.

“You know I need to see this, right? I have to sign it and send it back to school. Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

Bennett frowned. “Figured you’d be mad.”

“Well. I am mad, but I’m also concerned.” She sat on the edge of his bed. “I haven’t had any calls lately, so that’s good. But you have to tell me if there’s something going on. More stuff like there was before.”

He rolled his eyes. “No. I don’t have any more stuff. You took it.”

“That’s not the right answer, Bennett!” Janelle said. “The right answer is that you wouldn’t do anything like that again, even if you did have more stuff!”

“Sorry,” he muttered.

She took a few breaths to keep her temper steady. “I’m so disappointed. You got a D? I thought Andy was helping you. I thought you were making an effort. I thought you were really going to try.”

“I did try. I worked hard.”

“You can’t have worked that hard,” she pointed out.

“Sorry, I guess I’m not perfect the way you want me to be.”

This stopped her. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. I just want you to try your best.”

“I did try my best.”

“Getting a D is not your best,” she told him, and stood, holding up the report card. “It’s unacceptable. You can do better. I expect better from you.”

The words spilling from her were an echo of the ones her mother had said to her all those years ago, and this stopped her. Janelle pressed her lips together. Oh, God. She’d been in high school, a teenager, when she’d gone out of control. Bennett was only in the sixth grade.

“I’ve tried so hard,” she said. “To make sure... I just wanted to make sure you grew up right, that you didn’t turn out like...”

He watched her, silent, eyes wide. Janelle swiped at her tears, embarrassed and angry. She focused on the report card, folding it in half, then again, making creases.

“I didn’t want you to turn out like me,” she said. “I want you to be better than that, Bennett.”

“I can only be what I am,” he said with an edge in his voice that made him sound much older than twelve, though the way his lip trembled and his eyes welled with tears kept him a little boy. “And it’s not perfect.”

“Is that really what you think I expect?”

He nodded.

“Well, it’s not. Nobody’s perfect. Especially not me.”

She thought of the years of lectures, restrictions, guidelines and rules, the private school and lessons she’d put herself into debt to provide. She thought of her mother, telling her she’d done everything she could to make Janelle perfect so she could prove to the world she hadn’t messed up. Her mom had done it by trying to force her into a small box, and Janelle had done the same thing by trying to expand Bennett’s horizons.

“I don’t expect you to be perfect,” she told him. “I just want you to be you.”

“I am me, Mom!”

“Is ‘you’ a boy who sells drugs, Bennett? Gets into fights? Fails in school? Is that who you want to be?” Janelle’s mom had never asked that. Neither had her dad, for that matter.

He looked at her. “No. I don’t hang around those kids anymore. I told them they had to leave me alone.”

“Good. Then let’s figure out a way to get you through this, okay?” She drew in a deep breath. “We’ll have Andy come over to help you a little more often. And you’re going to try to bring up your grades in math, for sure. And I’ll...I’ll try to remember you’re twelve now and give you a little more credit for being responsible, okay? But you have to earn it,” she warned. “There will be consequences if you don’t.”

Bennett smiled slowly. “Okay. It’s a deal.”

“Deal.” She held out her hand for him to shake, then pulled him close for a hug instead, holding him tight, wishing she never had to let go, and knowing she had no choice.

FORTY

“CALL ME WHEN the movie’s over.” Janelle twisted to look into the backseat at Bennett, then handed him a ten-dollar bill. She handed Andy one, too.

“What’s this for?”

“Popcorn, duh.” She grinned at him and retreated against the driver’s-side door when he tried to hand it back to her. “No. You keep it.”

“I have money!”

Janelle shook her head. “This is my treat. Don’t argue.”

Bennett was already getting out of the car. “Yeah, Andy. Don’t argue with her. You can’t win.”

Andy frowned and turned the bill over and over in his hands as he stared at it. He looked up at her, his brow furrowed. “You don’t have to.”

“I don’t have to. I want to.” Janelle shrugged. “You’re doing me a real favor. I want to treat you.”

He hesitated, still frowning. “You want to come with us?”

The movie was a shoot-em-up sci-fi flick with lots of what she was sure would be gratuitous violence and probably a good share of women in skimpy outfits. It was the sort of movie she’d have forbidden without a second thought even a few weeks ago. It was the kind of movie she’d have loved when she was Bennett’s age. “Nah. It’s okay. I can always catch it on DVD if it’s that good.” And besides, Bennett would rather see something like that with Andy than his mom.

Andy tucked the ten into his front pocket and nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Janelle.”

“You’re welcome.”

He didn’t get out of the car.

“Andy?” Janelle asked gently. “You okay?”

Bennett rapped on the window before Andy could reply. “Hey, c’mon! They’re letting people in already! I want to get a good seat!”

Andy jumped at the thud of Bennett’s knuckles on the glass, but gave Janelle a smile. “We’ll see you later.”

“Call me,” she told him. “I’ll come get you.”

“You don’t have to. We can walk.”

She wasn’t ready to be that lenient with her kid. “Don’t be silly. I can pick you up. It’ll be late.”

“C’mon, Andy!”

With another small smile, Andy got out of the car. He bent to look through the window for a second, giving her a thumbs-up she returned, then backing away to give her room to pull out of the parking spot. She watched them for a few seconds in the rearview mirror, but though Andy stayed put as she drove away, Bennett danced with impatience until his much taller and older friend finally turned toward the movie theater.

It took her only five minutes to drive home, and even that felt like too long. Janelle hadn’t had the house to herself since they’d moved here, but tonight with Nan at her card club and Bennett at the movies, she intended to take advantage of every single second. She was already imagining the orgy of corn chips and cheese dip in front of a deliciously soft-core porn flick—
Lake Consequence,
maybe, with pre-bald-headed Billy Zane. Or
Red Shoe Diaries
with that other Billy, Billy Wirth. Huh, maybe she had a thing for guys named Billy....

“What the—!” The words shot out of her as she tripped through the back door and into the family room, courtesy of a pair of giant work boots that someone had left right in the middle of the doormat. She kicked one out of the way, already knowing what she’d find as she gripped the door frame and looked into the kitchen.

Gabe.

“What are you doing here?”

Kneeling in front of the sink, Gabe gazed up at her. His dark hair was rumpled, sticking straight up. His white T-shirt showcased a pair of truly lovely biceps, which flexed as he held up a wrench in one hand and a length of plastic pipe in the other.

“I’m fixing that leak in the sink. You wanted me to, right? It was on the list.”

“Oh.” It was the only thing she could think of to say. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Gabe got up slowly, wincing and creaking. He rolled his shoulders, popping his back. “Same here. I thought you were going out to the movies.”

“I just took Bennett and Andy. I never planned to stay.”

“Oh.”

It pleased her to hear him sound just as dumb as she had. For a moment they stared at each other without saying anything. It used to be they didn’t have to speak, that silence was fine and possibly preferred. Now it just felt awkward.

“How’s it going?” Janelle asked. Lame.

He’d spent so much time being grouchy with her that the slowly spreading smile surprised her. It tipped the corners of his mouth first, then crinkled the corners of his eyes. It lit up his face in a way she hadn’t seen for a really, really long time.

There was no thinking about it; Janelle kissed him. She moved into his arms, hers going around his neck, her thigh between his and his butt pressed up against the counter so he had no room to back away from her. She kissed him as if it were the most natural and expected thing in the world for her to do, as if she had no fears that Gabe would turn her aside.

He didn’t. He made a muffled, startled noise against her mouth, but his arms went around her without hesitation. His lips parted. The stroke of his tongue was not familiar, not after all this time, but it was delicious and delightful. The kiss got harder. She pressed against him, and the kiss went on and on until she had to break it to breathe.

She looked up at him, thinking there ought to be something to say about this, but the words wouldn’t come. Gabe touched a fingertip to her forehead to push her hair away from her eyes, and Janelle no longer cared about trying to speak. There was no time for it, anyway. They’d wasted too much of it already.

She kissed him again. She took him by the belt loops and pulled him, her mouth still on his, backward through the kitchen. The living room. She stood on the first stair and took his face in her hands. She could’ve ended it then and there, or he might’ve backed away. She didn’t. He didn’t.

In her bedroom, Janelle pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. Gabe’s came next. When they embraced again, belly to belly, his skin was so warm she shouldn’t have shivered in the chilly air, but she did. His hands splayed against her shoulder blades as he kissed her.

As he kissed her.

The first time he’d ever touched her, his fingers had fumbled on her skin. They’d found their way to pleasure through trial and error, not skill. Times had changed, she thought a little incoherently as Gabe’s teeth pressed on her throat, when his hand slid between her legs. Everything about this all felt new. Not familiar, but not uneasy.

The clock on her wall ticked and tocked, reminding her that every minute passing was one more lost. She urged him with her hands and mouth to move faster. Then a little harder. A little deeper. She cried his name at the end and wondered if she should’ve bit it back, but was too replete and sated to worry too much.

Gabe rolled off her and onto his back, his head on her pillow. Their shoulders touched. So did their hips. His breathing slowed as he turned his head to look at her. “Sorry.”

Janelle got up on one elbow. “For what?”

“For being so...fast.”

She laughed. “Mmm. We had to hurry. Next time we’ll make sure to take our time.”

“Next time?” Gabe got up on his elbow, too.

“Next time,” Janelle said, like a promise, and kissed him.

This time was different. This time, he let her kiss him instead of kissing her back. The difference was marked. She pulled away with a frown.

“No next time?” She watched him sigh and sit up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. His broad shoulders tapered to a lean waist, begging her to touch him, but she didn’t.

“I need to finish that sink.”

“And I’ll need to go pick up my kid and your brother in a few minutes,” she said with a glance at the clock. “And Nan will be home shortly after that. You’re not just going to run off, Gabe. Tell me you’re not.”

He didn’t look at her, but he didn’t get off the bed, either. “You...shouldn’t.”

“Shouldn’t what?” She scooted closer to him, but still didn’t touch. “Want you?”

“Yes.” He got up then. Started hunting for his jeans, his shirt. He didn’t look at her.

“Gabe,” Janelle said quietly. “Look at me.”

He did.

“I always wanted you,” she said.

He smiled, slowly. He kissed her again. Then he left her in the crumpled tangle of sheets still smelling of him, and went downstairs.

FORTY-ONE

YOU GOT TO know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em, as the song goes, and in this case, Janelle knew it was time to fold. She’d been sure Gabe wouldn’t consent to shooting lessons for Bennett, and that would’ve been fine. Janelle wasn’t sure how it had happened, just that one minute Gabe had been tinkering with Nan’s hot water heater while Bennett handed him tools, and the next Bennett had been upstairs telling her the when and the where.

That was how they ended up here in the woods in the same clearing, in front of what looked to be the same wooden railing. Hell, by the state of some of those cans and bottles, they might’ve been the same, too. This time, thank God, instead of knee-deep snow, they walked on wet leaves and squishy mud; instead of being bundled in heavy winter clothes they could get away with sweatshirts. They also had safety goggles and hearing protection, courtesy of Gabe, who’d insisted on as much protective gear as possible.

She’d insisted on coming along, of course. Gabe hadn’t looked too happy about it, but too bad. She wasn’t going to send her boy off into the woods with him and a gun without her supervision. She’d made that clear.