The Farm (11 page)

That calculating gleam was back in the Dean’s eyes. “You seem pretty confident.”

Carter smiled. “I’m persuasive. She’s gullible. It’ll work out.”

Unless her subconscious was listening in on this conversation. God, he hoped she couldn’t hear what he was saying. Not only would she kick his ass, but she’d never trust him again.

Basically, he just prayed she didn’t wake up while the Dean was still here. He had no idea how her skills as an
abductura
would be affected by the tranq dart. Would they be deadened or heightened? If it was the latter, he’d have to get her out of here fast.

Finally the Dean turned back to Sebastian. “It seems to me that if this Green is more delicious than any of the others, then she should be worth more.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “Our bargain is made.”

As if on cue, Lily stirred. She groaned and rolled toward her sister.

The Dean and Sebastian both pivoted toward Lily. Mel shot Carter a look that seemed to be begging him to do something.

So he did the only thing he could think of. He dropped to his knees in front of Lily. Her head was tipped back against the sofa, her dark hair tumbled over her shoulders. Groggy as she was, her face looked softer. The natural suspicion was gone from her eyes.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before reaching out to cup her face in his palm. He stroked her hair and said, “Hey, honey, you’re waking up.”

She blinked blearily at him, confusion heavy in her eyes.

“How do you feel, sweetheart?”

The endearment felt clumsy on his tongue. Lily wasn’t a sweet girl. She was so much more complex than that. She was strong and feisty. She was brave and smart. Every once in a while she was disarmingly vulnerable. But she wasn’t
sweet
.

A glance over his shoulder told him Sebastian was watching him with an expression of wary amusement. The Dean with obvious interest.

He brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. His fingers snagged in her hair and instead of pulling his hand away, he threaded them through the thick strands. God, her hair was soft. And faintly smelled of something fruity. The scent was fresh and clean and so unexpected he felt the punch of it deep in his gut.

She frowned for a second, looking at him like she wasn’t sure she knew him, and his breath caught. If she didn’t recognize him, they could be screwed. If she did recognize him and remembered he’d just shot her, they could be screwed for different reasons.

But slowly, the frown turned into a wobbly smile. “Carter?” she asked weakly. “Where’d you go during fourth? I thought we’d lost you.”

He blew out a breath of relief. “I’m here now.”

Something about the sentence made it stick in his throat. He’d been gone from her life so long, but he was here now. And he wasn’t leaving.

Then she frowned again. “Wait . . . didn’t—”

Before she could finish the sentence, Mel interrupted her. “Lil
-
lee?”

The fog in Lily’s gaze evaporated and she sat up. Too quickly, apparently, because she winced and pressed a palm to her forehead. More slowly, she turned to Mel. “Are you okay?”

Mel bobbed in place. “Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home.”

Carter nearly chuckled in relief. Yes, they needed to get out of there.

Lily rubbed at her forehead. “I don’t . . . know that one. Jesus, for once can’t you just tell me what you want?”

Mel looked pointedly at the Dean and her face crumpled into a frown. “Go,” she said simply.

Lily followed Mel’s gaze. Seeing the Dean, Lily frowned also. Oddly, she didn’t even glance at Sebastian, but she seemed to recoil from the Dean. “Who are you?” she asked, the tranquilizer making her sound somewhat stupid.

The Dean leered at her. “I’m the Dean.”

She gave a shudder of disgust. “You’re awful. You should go away.”

Carter sucked in a breath. He glanced at Sebastian to see if he’d caught it. The vampire’s gaze had sharpened with interest.

Mel flapped her hands a few more times. “Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home.”

Lily glared at the Dean. “Go away.”

Hardly daring to hope, Carter watched the Dean, gauging the man’s reaction. The Dean looked back and forth from Mel to Lily. Revulsion flickered across his expression as he looked at Mel. Yeah, he was that kind of person. After a second, he smirked at Sebastian.

“If this is the kind of food you’ve been reduced to, then maybe I should leave you to it,” the Dean said.

Satisfaction surged through Carter. It was all he could do not to pump his fist.

The Dean chuckled as he walked out, seemingly convinced he’d decided to leave all on his own. “And Roberto thinks you’re a threat. . .
 
.”

Sebastian gave a self-deprecating smirk. “I never pretended to be a threat. I’m like everyone else, just trying to survive in this new world Roberto has created.” He wrapped a hand around the Dean’s arm and guided him to the door. “Can I assume you’re amenable to my choice in Greens?”

The Dean shrugged. “As long as you work your magic on the computer, I don’t care. I’m going now.”

“Fly away home,” Mel said again.

After sending another slightly repulsed look at Mel, the Dean left.

As soon as the door closed, Lily said, “I’m glad he left. I didn’t like him.” Her voice still had that dreamy, drugged sound to it.

Carter and Sebastian both blew out a sigh of relief. Sebastian locked the door. Carter moved to the corner behind the desk where he’d stashed his backpack before going out to search for Mel and Lily. He patted his pockets until he found his penlight and took it out.

“Did you see that?” he asked Sebastian.

“I did. I could barely keep myself from leaving,” he said dryly.

“So you agree I’m right?”

“Let’s just say I have renewed faith in your judgment.”

Carter found the penlight and straightened. Lily was looking at Sebastian, frowning.

“Who are you?” she asked.

Carter knelt before her. “He’s a friend. He’s the guy I told you about from the school I attended. The one with all the military training.” He tipped her chin up so she was looking right at him. “Can you focus on my left ear for a second?”

As soon as she did, he turned on the light and looked at her pupils. They contracted normally, and she jerked away. “Hey, what you’re doing?”

“Just checking to see if the tranq is wearing off.”

She looked at him, blinking. Wariness settled onto her face as her memories returned. “That’s right. You shot me.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Only with a light tranquilizer and only so I could get you back to safety.”

“You shot me in the back and dragged me to the Dean’s office,” she accused.

“Technically, only to the admin building.”

“You lying, betraying sack of—”

Sebastian interrupted her. “I’d love nothing more than to listen to this witty repartee all night, but I have work to do or I’ll never break into the computer system and clean out the records. And you should get her out of here. Before the Dean changes his mind and comes back for her.”

“Should I cut out their chips before we go?” Carter asked.

“What?” Lily sounded horrified.

Sebastian ignored her. “I think not. If the program I’m about to install does what it’s supposed to, they’ll blank out at dawn when we leave. Besides, if the Dean decides to track them, I want him to think the girls are exactly where they’re supposed to be.”

“What do you mean when we leave at dawn?” Lily stood on wobbly legs and gave Carter’s shoulder a weak shove. Mel followed her sister’s cue and stood as well, but she didn’t so much as glance at him. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes in exaggerated boredom. “Carter, take her away and explain this to her. We can’t have her fighting you the whole way out. You have until dawn or we’ll tranq her again.”

“If you think—” Lily started to say, but then she took a step forward and her legs gave out.

Carter caught her and wrapped an arm around her waist. “Understood.” He nodded to Mel. “Come on, let’s go.”

“No,” Sebastian said offhandedly as he rounded the desk and sat back down. “Leave the other sister here.”

“But—”

“You seem barely able to control one sister, let alone both. Besides, this way Lily will be motivated to return.”

Carter studied Sebastian, taking in the vampire’s pale skin and humorless eyes. He looked about as human as could be expected. “Back then with the Dean, how close were you to losing it? Because I’m not going to leave her here if you’re on edge.”

“Please.” Sebastian waved dismissively. “I was putting on a show.”

“When was the last time you fed?”

“I’m fine.”

Carter gritted his teeth and debated. Lily would hate this. She might be woozy and light-headed now, but as soon as they left the building the cold night air would probably knock the last of the tranquilizer out of her system. Then she’d be friggin’ pissed.

Still, Sebastian had a point. It would be easier for the two of them to move across campus without being caught. And keeping Lily away from the Dean had to be the top priority. Finally Carter nodded. “Okay.” He turned to Mel. “Stay here, okay? Sebastian will take care of you until it’s time to leave. And he has more gum.”

To his surprise, Mel just looked at Sebastian, her head cocked to one side. Then she sat back down, flapping her hands a few times. She started humming to herself. A classical tune that he didn’t recognize, but that made Sebastian’s mouth curve into something that almost looked like a smile.

Carter looked around the room one more time, at Mel humming in her spot on the sofa and then at Sebastian pulling up some file on the laptop. With a shrug, he led Lily to the door.

“I’m not leaving her here,” she protested weakly, but her feet stumbled along beside him.

“Come on,” he coaxed her. “Just think, you have all night to tell me what a dick you think I am.”

As they walked out the door toward the elevator, once again the fruity scent of her hair hit him in the gut. Six hours alone with Lily didn’t sound bad at all. As long as he could convince her he wasn’t a lying sack of shit. And keep her from trying to kill him.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Mel

The blue pills are earplugs. They muffle everyone’s music. Or maybe more like water muddling all the noise. I’m sitting applesauce on the bottom of the pool, holding my breath, resisting the urge to push to the surface because it’s peaceful down here without all the noise.

Carter is the snare I didn’t see coming, despite the macaroni I kept hearing. Never thought we’d be bunnies to his Trickster. He’s more Bugs than kitty cat.

Can’t tell yet if
his
Benedict will be like eggs or like Arnold. If he’s just coddling us or serving us up for the silent shark, this man who is not a man.

Not a
hu
man, anyway.

Don’t ask how I know. There’s not just one thing about him. Or even two. Though the two pointy teeth certainly don’t help.

Makes my skin crawl and my blood slither. Like it’s trying to retreat farther into my body to get away from him. Like the iron in my blood is repulsed by him.

I listen, waiting to hear his music, now that we’re alone, now that Lily’s frantic drumbeat is gone and Carter has taken his Rachmaninoff. I expect movie-villain music. Dark and sinister. Darth Vader’s imperial march.
Jaws
’s ominous bass drum. Perhaps even Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Or even something innocent that somehow sounds creepy. Itsy-bitsy-spiderish.

Instead, I hear nothing.

No human music.

No Tick wild cacophony of grating notes. Not even the buzzing of inanimate objects. Just nothing. Silence. Silence like I’ve never known. Vast. Deep. Terrifying. Exhilarating. Smothering in its expanse. Like an avalanche of void. Like the death an atheist expects. Nothing.

A nothing so vast I can hardly breathe. And I feel it eating at me.

His presence makes me feel thin. Not model slender. But worn, like an old cotton housedress. Thin like a specimen pressed between two plates of glass. Like a bug squashed beneath the marching boot of a soldier.

Thin and worn and silence like I’ve never known.

This is how I know he is not a Tick.

They are as pitiable as they are inhuman. They are fear personified. Their emotions and minds given over to rage and hunger. They are all noise. He is none.

If he is not a Tick, does that make him a Tock?

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Lily

As Carter led me out one of the side doors into the darkness, I tried to pull myself out of his arms, but his hands were tight around my biceps. My feet stumbled slowly behind the rest of my body, like they were the last parts of me to wake up. He tugged me close and whispered, “Stop it.”

Right now, with his body right behind mine, with his voice in my ear and his breath in my hair, this was the moment to be brutally honest with myself.

I wanted Carter. I had always wanted Carter from the very first moment I’d seen him. He was my first crush. My hardest, longest, fiercest crush.

No, if I was being honest, he was my
only
crush. Because I’d never felt about any guy the way I felt about Carter.

And when I’d known him in the Before, I’d constantly been looking for hints that he might like me, too. I’d cherished every word he’d said to me, even when I’d been too shy to answer. I’d dreamed up countless, ridiculous scenarios in which he’d find me alone somewhere, pull me into his arms, and declare his eternal love. I’d searched desperately for clues that he might be into me.

It was stupid. I was an idiot. I knew that. But I couldn’t help it.

Pathetic, right?

This one time in biology, he’d dropped his pencil on the floor between us during a test. The thirty seconds it had taken him to bend down and pick it up had been excruciating. I imagined his hand brushing my leg as he bent down. I imagined his hand on my ankle. On my thigh. By the time he actually scooted his chair back and bent to pick up the pencil, I’d practically been trembling.

And then the unimaginable had happened. I was wearing a miniskirt and his hair brushed my leg as he bent over. I could have sworn I felt every hair on his head where it touched my skin. It took him forever to find the damn pencil. Hours, it seemed. I was aware of everything. Every thump of my pounding heart. Of the fact that I’d shaved my legs just that morning and they smelled like mango lotion. Of the way my blue toenail polish was chipped.

But I was especially aware of everything about him. The way his hair in back was darker than his blond bangs and short enough that I could see the dip in his neck. The way the navy cotton of his T-shirt stretched across his shoulders.

Then he sat up so slowly, I thought I was going to die, right there, in biology. And poor, stupid Coach Ballard would probably never notice because he was too engrossed in whatever stupid game he was playing on his iPad.

As he straightened, Carter had flashed me one of those crooked smiles. “Mango, huh? Nice.”

After that, I was done. The test was a wash. I couldn’t think of anything but Carter. The phyla of the animal kingdom were a distant blur. When the test came back two days later, my grade was as crappy as I’d expected. I got all of the first seventeen questions correct. And all of the last thirteen wrong. It was my first failing grade. That wasn’t even the bad part.

No, the bad part had been realizing that his grade was identical to mine. Carter had copied me. I’d been so into him, I hadn’t even noticed he’d been cheating off my test. The bastard had played me. We both ended up getting zeros.

This was why I couldn’t trust him. Because I couldn’t trust myself where he was concerned.

Now, as Carter led me away from the admin building, I made myself remember that day. That endless moment when I’d gotten caught up in the fantasy of Carter falling for me and then gotten so badly burned. I needed to remember that moment, because I could not let that happen again.

I only wished I’d had this little heart-to-heart with my past self after third meal. I should never have trusted Carter to begin with. He was handsome and charming and a player. If I let him, he’d play me again. Hell, he already had played me again.

He had shot me. In the back. That was what I had to remember. Not that his fingers had felt frickin’ amazing twined through my hair.

“Let go of me,” I hissed under my breath, giving my arm another tug. I had to get away from him. Now, before I did something else stupid.

“Look.” He spun me around to face him. “Even though it’s night, there are still plenty of Collabs around. You keep this up and one of them will notice.”

I used the nearness to my advantage, jerking up my leg and kneeing him in the groin. He grunted in pain, doubling over. His grip loosened and I ran for it. Security lights were mounted on the building, casting ovals of light on the grass. I ran for the shadows, toward a clump of trees. I stumbled, lost my footing, and nearly fell. I ducked around the corner of a building—one of the dorms, I think—pressed my back to the trunk of a broad tree, and stood there panting, considering my options.

The exertion made my head pound. I couldn’t keep running in the dark. Twisting my ankle wouldn’t help Mel.

Oh, God.
Mel.

I’d left Mel in the admin building.

I’d had no choice. I would go back for her. But how?

I rubbed my palm against the sudden ache in my chest, wishing it was only the exertion that made my heart feel like it was about to pound out of my rib cage. But I knew it was more than that. It was fear. And despair.

I
would
go back for her.

I had to. But first I had to find a way to give Carter the slip. And then I had to get back into the admin building. And then I had to . . .

I couldn’t think about all the
and then
s.

I listened for his footsteps, following me, but heard nothing but the quiet buzz of the lights and the rumble of the generator in some nearby building. Off in the distance, I heard some Collab call to another. A burst of raucous laughter. Then silence. But beneath the hum of night sounds, there was an edge in the air.

I needed to find somewhere to hide. I pushed off from the tree and was moving toward another shadowy spot when Carter grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward him.

“You didn’t really think that would work, did you?” Carter asked, his voice low. As dark as it was, I could still see the annoyance on his face. Kneeing him in the groin had pissed him off.

“It might have if I’d moved faster.” I wrenched at my arm, trying to get free and keep him from grabbing the other arm. “Let me go.”

“Not a chance.” He bit out the words. “Not until you let me explain.”

“Explain what? You’re a Collab. You set us up.” I kicked at his legs, fighting against him with everything I had. “You made me leave Mel in the admin building!”

Then suddenly, he whirled me around, pulling my back against his chest and wrapping both arms around me. “Stop it before you hurt yourself.”

He held me with my arms pinned to my sides. But my legs were still free and I hopped up, walking my legs up the trunk of the tree I’d been hiding behind. I kicked my legs out, hoping to knock him off balance; instead he merely stumbled back a couple of steps, muttering curses under his breath.

He carried me physically to the side of the nearest building, spun me around, and pushed me back against the wall. His entire body was pressed against mine, pinning me there, completely immobilizing me. His legs bracketed mine. His hands were clamped on my arms. When I tried to scream, he slapped a hand over my mouth and leaned close.

“Things aren’t what they seem—” I bit his finger. He jerked back his hand and shook it. “Damn it!”

“No shit, things aren’t what they seem!” My anger was a tangible thing in my body. It pressed against my skin until I felt like it might actually burst through. “You seemed like a friend, but you’re a stinkin’ Collab! You—”

He ignored my rant and leaned even closer to me, pressing the side of his face to mine, so that my mouth—my one weapon left—didn’t have anything within biting range. When he spoke, his voice was low and so close I could feel his breath warm on my ear.

“Stop it! You just left the Dean’s office. No one walks out of there alive. No one’s supposed to, anyway. So it’d be great if we could get undercover before a dozen or so Collabs find us and drag us back there. Let me explain.”

His words were slow and steady in my ear, seductive almost, because I couldn’t
not
listen. He made it sound like he was in danger, too. And there was a note of real urgency in his voice. It made me want to believe him.

I tried to push down my fear and panic over Mel, that choking sense of betrayal. I tried not to notice that he smelled good—damn it! Something woodsy with just a hint of mint. Not that long ago, Scruffy had had me pinned to the ground. I’d felt trapped. Panicky. With Carter, it was different. I felt safe.

I could not let myself do this. I needed to get a little perspective here. A little distance. Like, a little distance between his body and mine so I could
think
again.

“Okay.” I bit out the word. “Explain.”

He stepped back, freeing me from the cage his body had created. “Sebastian isn’t like them. He isn’t—”

“He isn’t what?” I sneered. “A collaborator? Someone who would hand kids over to save his own life?”

“He isn’t what you think he is. Neither am I. This is what we do. We travel from Farm to Farm. He convinces the Deans to let him come in and overhaul their computer systems. To delete the files of any Greens that have escaped or haven’t made it or whatever. In exchange, we get to walk out with Greens. It’s how we get paid. We’re rescuing people. We aren’t Collaborators.”

My instincts roared at me not to believe him. He’d shot me in the back, for God’s sake. But at the same time, he looked disarmingly serious, his gaze meeting mine, his eyes begging me to listen to him.

What if he
was
being honest? What if getting out of here was as simple as putting my trust in him? What if I didn’t have to do all this on my own?

I wanted to believe that. There were a lot of things I wanted to believe right now. I wanted to believe that Mel was safe. I wanted to believe that Carter was trustworthy and that maybe, just maybe, he could help us. I
wanted
to believe those things so badly that I couldn’t trust myself to see the truth.

When it came to Carter, I had a history of deluding myself. I couldn’t make the same mistakes I’d made in the Before. I needed to be stronger than that. More logical.

“If you can get me and Mel out of here, if that’s your big plan, then why didn’t you just let us go?”

“Because on your own, they’d hunt you down and kill you.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” I protested.

“Yes, I do. Trust me. I know more about the security measures on a Farm than you do.”

“I’ve been watching—”

“Okay, you know about the chip in your neck.”

My hand went to my neck, to the spot that was scanned four times a day when I entered the dining hall. “Of course. It’s how they figure out when we miss meals and what our blood—”

“Each chip has a micro GPS locator. They start sending out a signal the second you leave the Farm. They’d catch you ten minutes out. Escaping from a Farm is a crime punishable by death, punishment to be administered instantly at the discretion of the local Dean. And that’s if it’s the Collabs who catch you. I don’t know for sure, but I think the chip’s frequency bugs the Ticks. Or at least attracts their attention. People with active chips usually don’t live long enough for the Collabs to find them.”

At his words, my heart started pounding in my chest and a wave of nausea washed over me. It had never—not once—occurred to me that the chips might be anything other than dehumanizing storage devices.

I sagged against the wall, dropping my elbows to my knees as I struggled to pull air into my lungs. Bile filled my throat and I had to concentrate to keep from puking right there.

I felt Carter’s hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”

“I could have killed us. We would be no better off than those Greens outside the fence. Mel would be dead.”

“You didn’t know.” He crouched down beside me and tipped my chin up so that I looked him in the eyes. His touch was warm and solid. Reassuring. “You see now why I had to stop you? If I’d let you escape, I would have been sending you to your death.”

“But now that I know”—my mind was racing again—“about the tracking devices, I mean, now that I know, we can try again. We can—”

I broke off abruptly. Mel was still in the Dean’s office. There was no way I could get her out on my own. Whatever else happened, I needed Carter. And—it seemed—Sebastian.

Carter was shaking his head anyway. “It’s more complicated than that. You’re just going to have to trust me.” He blew out a breath. “Look, I’m not going to talk about this here. We’re too exposed.”

“Too exposed? Who talks like that?” I asked.

His mouth twisted into a little smile. “Military school. Remember?” He scanned the area then nodded toward one of the buildings sitting off the quad, maybe fifty yards away. “I’m taking you over there. You’re not going to bolt again, are you?”

He shook his hand absently, rubbing his thumb over the spot where I’d bit him. I had to shift my gaze away from him, almost ashamed that I’d done that. Besides—after so long on the Farm, so many months of being invisible, of having almost no human contact—it was seriously weird being the center of someone’s attention. Being touched at all.

I felt a little shiver go through my body. I pushed that aside, too, burying it even deeper than the anger.

When I didn’t answer right away, he kept talking. “Look, just trust me, okay?”

Then abruptly Carter stepped away from me. He flicked open his blue Collab jacket and pulled out my shiv. Flipping it over in his hand, he held it out to me, handle first.

It was the second time he’d given me back my weapon.

“Here,” he said, nudging it toward me. “Take it. If you have this, will you come with me? Just somewhere I can really explain. If I don’t convince you, I’ll let you walk away.”

I took the shiv, holding it close to my side. “I’d feel better if I had the tranq gun, too,” I muttered.

“Bet you would.” He actually chuckled. “But a Collab and a Green walking across campus after curfew is suspicious enough, even if she’s not the one holding the rifle.” He swung the rifle off his shoulder, popped open the chamber, and removed the dart. “Look, I’ll take the dart out, then you know I can’t tranq you again.”