The Falstaff Vampire Files (32 page)

New Year’s Day

I returned to my clients
the week after our Night Court hearing. I received a surprise picture from my online suitor, Mr_Latte. As I suspected, he was indeed my client Luther. Luther and I had a serious talk at his next appointment, and he decided to try Larry’s suggestion and use the money to fund a better benefit package to attract prospective girlfriends. He casually mentioned exploring some New Age massage services. He left with a spring in his step that I had never seen before.

Mina found a new apartment that had no memories of Hal. She began to get on with her life. Ned came by often to see her. Bram and I took them out to dinner. We looked at some of his new cartoons and bought a CD from his band, which he had re-named Tragic Consequences. Mina told me he seemed to be slowly dealing with his grief over Lucy.

Mrs. Battle reported that the vampire hierarchy interested itself in Hal’s career. Talks were under way to marry him off to a French vampire of royal blood. They also sponsored his diplomatic career in order to keep a close eye on him.

Vi continued to recover from her encounter with the Others, and started to use her computer again, although most of what she wrote was vampire activism literature. Brutus, the vampire cat, sat on her shoulder while she wrote.

Bram decided to move to San Francisco to finish his book on the vampire-obsessed subculture. We started looking for a larger place—one that would have room for five cats and be close enough to feed Vi’s ferals every morning.

In late October I received a package via courier. Inside I found the silver-framed picture of my mother, along with three words written on plain white paper: “Sorry. Love, Hal.”

Sir John disappeared from time to time, notably when Dr. Quiller came around to ask questions about his defeat of the Others. He also reappeared in Vi’s living room from time to time for no known reason, but invariably in the best of spirits.

This book is dedicated to El Nino, the gentle giant and alpha tomcat, who taught me so much

Acknowledgements

I deeply appreciate
the usual suspects, friends and neighbors whose caring and support have kept me alive and writing. Thanks to my brother Mike Murray, friends Jacqueline Stone, Barbara Landis, Merry vonBrauch, Jaqueline Girdner, Gregory Booi, Laurie Toby Edison, Ann Reasoner, Ronald Russell, Arlene Cooper Russell and David Cooper.

Special thanks to Peggy Elam, Ph.D. and Pearlsong Press for sharing the dream to make life-sized fiction available to the world at large.

I am also most grateful for the online feedback on the first several chapters from critters at Dr. Andrew Burt’s critique exchange site at http://www.critters.org/ and particularly from Carolyn, who undertook to critique the entire manuscript.

Thanks to Terri Bischoff, of Midnight Ink. for useful suggestions on some contents of the package on page one!

About the Author

Lynne Murray is the author
of the award-winning Josephine Fuller mystery series. Lynne knew she wanted to write a novel about a woman of size who doesn’t apologize when she read one fat joke too many in a mystery. She found the trick to creating a positive fat fictional character was to become a self-accepting woman of size in the process of writing about one. Larger Than Death, the first in the series, won the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) Distinguished Achievement Award.

Lynne’s romantic comedy novel
Bride of the Living Dead
was published by Pearlsong Press in 2010. Her humorous short pieces have appeared in magazines and newspapers. Many of her articles, including her interview of Darlene Cates, star of
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape,
are available on her website at www.lmurray.com.

Lynne has written two ebooks for Holly Lisle’s
33 Worst Mistakes Writers Make
series:
The 33 Worst Mistakes Writers Make About San Francisco
and—based on years of working in law firms—
The 33 Worst Mistakes Writers Make About Courtroom Law.

Lynne and fellow mystery author Jaqueline Girdner also collaborated on an ebook of encouragement:
Writer to Writer Reminders, Tickles, Tips and Tricks for Writers.

A longtime San Francisco resident, Lynne received a B.A. in psychology from San Francisco State University. The city is the setting for most of her fiction since her first book,
Termination Interview,
was published in 1988.

Lynne shares an apartment with a small group of extremely mellow cats, who are all either rescued or formerly feral.

About Pearlsong Press

Pearlsong Press is an independent
publishing company dedicated to providing books and resources that entertain while expanding perspectives on the self and the world. The company was founded by Peggy Elam, Ph.D., a psychologist and journalist, in 2003.

Pearls are formed when a piece of sand or  grit or other abrasive, annoying, or even dangerous substance enters an oyster and triggers its protective response. The substance is coated with shimmering opalescent nacre (“mother of pearl”), the coats eventually building up to produce a beautiful gem. The self-healing response of the oyster thus transforms suffering into a thing of beauty.

The pearl-creating process reflects our company’s desire to move outside a pathological or “disease” based model of life, health and well-being into a more integrative and transcendent perspective. A move out of suffering into joy. And that, we think, is something to sing about.

Pearlsong Press endorses Health At Every Size, an approach to health and well-being that celebrates natural diversity in body size and encourages people to stop focusing on weight (or any external measurement) in favor of listening to and respecting natural appetites for food, drink, sleep, rest, movement, and recreation. While not every book we publish specifically promotes Health At Every Size (by, for instance, featuring fat heroines or educating readers on size acceptance), none of our books or other resources will contradict this holistic and body-positive perspective.

We encourage you to enjoy other Pearlsong Press books, which you can purchase at www.pearlsong.com or your favorite bookstore. Keep up with us through our blog at www.pearlsongpress.com.

Fiction:

The Season of Lost Children
—a novel by Karen Blomain

The Fat Lady Sings
—a young adult novel by Charlie Lovett

Syd Arthur
—a novel by Ellen Frankel

Fallen Embers
&
Blowing Embers
(Books One & Two of The Embers Series)—paranormal romance by Lauri J Owen

Bride of the Living Dead
—romantic comedy by Lynne Murray

Measure By Measure
—a romantic romp with the fabulously fat by Rebecca Fox & William Sherman

FatLand
—a visionary novel by Frannie Zellman

The Program
—a suspense novel by Charlie Lovett

The Singing of Swans
—a novel about the Divine Feminine by Mary Saracino

Romance novels & short stories featuring Big Beautiful Heroines:

by Pat Ballard, the Queen of Rubenesque Romances:

Dangerous Love

The Best Man

Abigail’s Revenge

Dangerous Curves Ahead: Short Stories

Wanted: One Groom

Nobody’s Perfect

His Brother’s Child

A Worthy Heir

by Rebecca Brock—
The Giving Season

& by Judy Bagshaw—
At Long Last, Love: A Collection

Nonfiction
:

Fat Poets Speak: Voices of the Fat Poets’ Society
—edited by Frannie Zellman

Ten Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are)
by Pat Ballard

Beyond Measure: A Memoir About Short Stature & Inner Growth
by Ellen Frankel

Taking Up Space: How Eating Well & Exercising Regularly Changed My Life
by Pattie Thomas, Ph.D. with Carl Wilkerson, M.B.A. (foreword by Paul Campos, author of
The Obesity Myth
)

Off Kilter: A Woman’s Journey to Peace with Scoliosis, Her Mother & Her Polish Heritage
—a memoir by Linda C. Wisniewski

Unconventional Means: The Dream Down Under
—a spiritual travelogue & memoir by Anne Richardson Williams

Splendid Seniors: Great Lives, Great Deeds
—inspirational biographies by Jack Adler

Healing the World One Book at a Time