The Fall of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 2) (20 page)

“What?”
 she gasped. 

Noting the distraught state he left her in, he turned away from her. The light of conviction in his eyes grew dimmer. “I – ”
 

“I thought you never met An Soo Jin,” Yoori interjected, the light of fire igniting in her eyes
.

Did he lie about never meeting Soo Jin? Did he —

“I haven’t,” he assured before her train of thoughts trekked any further. He turned back to face her. His eyes were unyielding with truth. He paused for another moment before adding, “But I do know that you look like her.” 

Before Yoori’s distressed self could even begin to question what he meant, Tae Hyun elaborated. A distant grumbling of thunder accompanied his voice.
 

“The night of your initiation
, after you left, the Advisors met with Ji Hoon and me. They told me of your resemblance – your 
uncanny 
resemblance to An Soo Jin to be exact. A resemblance that is so uncanny…that they are completely sure that you 
are
 her. They went on to say that Soo Jin was a trained killer and a ruthlessly trained one at that. They said she –
you
– could never be trusted – ” 

“That it would be the biggest mistake of your life if you did,” Yoori provided brokenly, the truth stabbing into her like daggers.
 

They told him?

They actually told him?

Her heart raced in relentless fear. She could feel her heart beg her to not tell him anything. She could feel it beg her to keep quiet so that she wouldn’t push Tae Hyun away.
 

Tae Hyun nodded. He was unaware of the internal war taking form within Yoori.
 He turned away from her. His eyes fixated on the rain-infested city before him. Streaks of lighting embalmed the dark sky. The bright white lights reflected upon their pale faces while the wind continued to ravage the world. 

Wasps of a sickening horror multiplied within Yoori. She struggled for breath underneath the storm that took place in her body.

She knew it. 

This
was the moment to tell him. It was a terrible moment, but the moment nonetheless. She couldn’t steal anymore borrowed time. The inevitable had come…

Tae Hyun continued to speak over the raging storm.
 “It sounds ridiculous when I think about what they said. I mean, even Ji Hoon said that they were out of their minds.” He scoffed to himself. “I told them that I couldn’t give two shits who you look like – that it doesn’t matter who you resemble. The only thing that matters is that I know you and I know that I can trust you. I know that you’re not her. You could never be her.” 

The last of his words swam in Yoori’s mind.

It drowned her… 

“I know that you’re not
 her. You could never be her.”

It acted as the last tug for Yoori. It was the last tug that Yoori needed to tell Tae Hyun everything.

The silence became her hellish cue.

“Tae Hyun,” she said quietly, struggling to steady her trembling voice.

Her body shook harder. Despite all the perseverance of her instincts commanding her not to say anything, she struggled to find her voice. Then, when she felt her voice brim at the upper height of her throat, Yoori knew this was it. Once she shared these words with Tae Hyun, there was no going back. She could no longer live in her dream world. She had to wake up and face her horrific reality. She knew all of this, yet she was ready.

Feeling the weight of the entire world on her chest, she finally spoke those excruciating words...

“I’m An Soo Jin.”

Tae Hyun froze like a statue.
 

Like the darkness of the night’s sky, the residual warmness in his eyes grew faint as dimness took its place.
 

The rumbling world, though loud by nature, wasn’t powerful enough to steal their undivided attention from one another.

To both their ears, the whole world had collapsed into silence.

To them, the whole world no longer existed.
 

Slowly, purposely, and hesitantly, Tae Hyun returned his gaze to a distressed Yoori. The only emotions decipherable in his eyes were shock and disbelief.
 

It was then, as her heart pounded against her chest, that Yoori knew that this was going to be one of the most terrible conversations she would have in her life.
 

“
What did you just say?” he asked slowly. His wary, yet stern eyes bore into hers. There was a glint within his gaze that told her he was silently praying that he heard wrong. 

Yoori had the chance to stop there. She had the chance to lie to him and tell him she was joking. She had the chance but, no matter how painful it was for her, she couldn’t back out now. She trusted Tae Hyun too much to keep this from him.
 

“I have amnesia,” she provided, her voice breaking at every syllable.
 

Yoori took in a sharp breath as she watched the warmness vacate Tae Hyun’s body.
 

“You – You have amnesia…” he repeated disbelieving
ly. He inhaled sharply before asking, “How long?” 

“3 years,” Yoori breathed out.
 

Though she didn’t give Tae Hyun much to go on, he was a very smart individual. She didn’t give him much information, but he would figure out everything regardless.
 

Tae Hyun took in another sharp breath. If the light of realization in his eyes gave any indication, it was clear to Yoori that he understood that Soo Jin’s “death” was a fraud and something occurred to turn her into…Yoori.
 

Yoori watched him painfully. He sat beside her physically, but she could see that he was drifting further and further away from her emotionally.
 The way he looked at her made her feel like there were knives being carved at her skin. He stared at her like she was a complete stranger to him.

A tense silence loomed between them. The only buffers of sounds shared in their environment were the sobs and screams of the night’s sky.
 As a flood of rain deluged more violently from above, Tae Hyun, without any warning, turned away from her and tore himself out from beneath the table. With unmatched speed, he began toward the door. 

“Tae Hyun!” Yoori called after him, throwing her blanket aside. The teacup spilled onto the surface of the balcony when she got up after him. The contents of the tea Tae Hyun made for her mixed fiercely with the spiteful rain.
 

Though she had thrown herself from underneath the table, Yoori found herself unable to run after Tae Hyun. She was too overwhelmed to run after him. It took only seconds for her entire body to become drenched under the merciless rain.
 

She
watched his hand make contact with the lever of the sliding door. However awful it was for her to stand there like that, her body freezing from the cold, the spiteful weather was nothing compared to the coldness of how Tae Hyun treated her. 

He had never treated her like this.

“Tae Hyun, please wait,” she finally whispered when he was about to pull the door open.

Her voice barely made a sound above the thunderous storm.
It was hardly audible to the world around them. It was hardly audible, yet it was enough to cause Tae Hyun to stop in his tracks. She knew then Tae Hyun didn’t hear her voice, but her pain. 

He stood in place, his back turned to her. His chest heaved up and down.

Yoori didn’t know how long they stood there, completely soaked in the storm. It must’ve been awhile because her body grew so numb that she stopped shaking. It must’ve been awhile because even her heart grew numb as it waited nervously for Tae Hyun. 

Tae Hyun,
she begged in her mind, her eyes never leaving him. 
Please talk to me.

As though hearing her unspoken plea, he finally spoke.

“You’re An Soo Jin…” He whipped around to face her. His face was completely drenched from water and pale from disbelief. “You were An Soo Jin all along.”

“I – I didn’t know I was her,” Yoori uttered, her voice fighting to keep steady. She felt the pent up emotions simmer within her...waiting...just waiting to erupt.
 

Tae Hyun scoffed doubtfully. “You were plagued with amnesia
 3 years ago, the
exact
same time as when An Soo Jin ‘died,’ and you didn’t think for one moment that you were her?” His voice was shrouded with skepticism. 

Another growl of thunder echoed in the abyss sky.
 

Awakened by the thunderous judgment in his own voice, Tae Hyun closed his eyes in dread, regretting using that tone with her.
 

However regretful he looked, the tone of his voice was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Her lips quivering uncontrollably, Yoori snapped. 

“Do you think I want this?” she shouted. Remnants of rain dripped off her. Her body shook in anger. “Do you think I want you to look at me like this? Do you think I want to be
her
?” Her eyes bubbled with tears. “You have no idea how much I’ve tried to avoid this moment. Deep down, even though I knew all along, I kept on denying everything because it pained me to even try and remember anything. For months, I ignored the fucking obvious, all the clues because I
didn’t
want to be her!”

Yoori paused to rub her hands against her eyes, making sure that no tears escaped. Her chest heaved violently. Once she was done, Yoori took a second to avert her red-shot eyes to the horizon.
 Her breathing grew steady. She calmed down. She placed her right hand over her left arm and began to rub it up and down. It was her own way of further calming herself down. 

When she was ready to face him again, she returned her gaze to Tae Hyun

He remained as she had seen him seconds ago. He was rooted in the same position, his legs frozen to the same space and his hand still glued to the lever of the sliding door. The difference was that he wore a pained expression on his face. Yoori wasn’t sure if it was pain from finding out that she was Soo Jin or pain from seeing her in such a volatile state. However much it looked like Tae Hyun wanted to approach her and comfort her, the better part of him – his rationale – kept him rooted in his stance. 

Through her pained sniffling, Yoori continued to speak.
 “Every time I try to remember anything, I get headaches—migraines. I don’t remember anything from her life…what she did or who she really was.” Yoori paused to rub her red-shot eyes before continuing. “I can’t remember anything…yet I can 
feel
 everything. I can feel the guilt…all her guilt.” She swallowed convulsively. “All
my
guilt. I hate An Soo Jin with all my heart because, at the core of my mind, 
I know that I’m her
.” Her voice broke. “I hate that I can’t breathe without feeling the guilt rip my soul up. I hate that even when my hands are dry, I can feel blood on them. I hate An Soo Jin with all that I am because I knew that it would only be a matter of time before she poisoned my world. It would only be a matter of time before she killed me – just like she tried to kill herself.” 

More than once, in the course of Yoori’s words, Tae Hyun ran his fingers through his hair with an aching expression on his face. There was so much pain and frustration in his stance. Yoori didn’t know what was running through his
mind. All that she knew was that he was troubled. He was troubled and he didn’t know what to do. She blinked and waited for his reply in the rain. Never once in her life did she feel as fragile as she did at that particular moment. 

“Tae Hyun,” she called softly, wanting desperately to hear his voice again.
 

“Why did you tell me all of this?” he finally asked, his poignant eyes locking with hers through the pouring rain. His voice, though throbbing with disbelief, was soft
when he spoke to her. He swallowed tightly. “Choi Yoori, don’t you know who I am?”

A flash of pain rippled in his eyes when he said her full name. She knew from the shaking of his head that he no longer knew if it was even appropriate for him to keep calling her that.
 

Not allowing this to beset what he wanted to say, Tae Hyun continued to speak, a tornado of wind accompanying his stern voice.
 “I’m the leader of the Serpents. The one gang that An Soo Jin…” He stopped for a second. He gazed desolately at her before, much to Yoori’s dismay, correcting what he said. “The one gang that
you
 despise the most.” 

He scoffed to himself, his voice suddenly elevating with the purest of frustration. “Why would you tell me all of this? Don’t you know that I could fucking kill you right now?”
 

“Would you?” Yoori asked at once, challenging his spoken words. The cold wind blew through her as she shouted this.
 

As Yoori anticipated, Tae Hyun stilled at her question.
 

Yoori struggled to find her breath as she went on, her eyes never leaving Tae Hyun’s.
 “You are the epitome of everything I shouldn’t trust. You keep secrets from me, you never tell me how you feel, and you never show any type of weakness or vulnerability. You try to keep anything and everything from me.” She thought about the moments where he took care of her, the moments they shared when they were alone, and the moments they shared at the lake house— all the memories that were dearest to her heart.