The Falconer (Elizabeth May) (32 page)

Catherine gasps. Her eyes go wide and she jumps to her feet, dress rustling, all decorum forgotten. ‘Faery,’ she whispers.

‘Now, that’s just insulting,’ Derrick says. ‘I’m a
pixie
, you silly human.’

Catherine gapes at him. And then at me. And then at him. ‘I-I think I need to stand,’ she says faintly.

‘You
are
standing,’ I say with a smile.

‘Indeed. Sit. Sit is what I meant.’ She collapses onto the settee, her skirts and petticoats puffing up inelegantly all around her. ‘Aileana,’ she finally says, never taking her eyes off Derrick. ‘Might I be candid again?’

‘I’d prefer if you were.’

Catherine’s hands flutter in front of her in distressed motions before she finally presses them to her chest to keep them still. ‘I think I’m about to cast my accounts onto your carpet.’

‘No, no,’ I say. ‘Let me call MacNab, he can bring us . . . something. A bucket.’

‘I may also faint.’ Her chest heaves. ‘Are you friendly, then?’ she asks Derrick. ‘Because I heard stories when Aileana and I were children.’

‘I can assure you,’ Derrick says with a sly grin, ‘I’m
quite
friendly to lovely ladies like yourself.’

‘Good heavens,’ she whispers.

‘Catherine,’ I say. ‘There’s something else I must tell you.’

‘Something more?’ She laughs breathlessly. ‘We might have to limit your life-altering revelations to one a day, you know.’

I smile briefly, almost apologetically. Catherine is taking this much better than I would have under the same circumstances. At least the first faery she’ll remember is Derrick and not Kiaran. I don’t imagine she would be so calm if she learned she’d been faestruck by him already and tried to paw his shirt off.

‘I’m revealing Derrick to you now because I need to ask you to leave.’

Catherine’s eyes widen. ‘But I’ve only just arrived.’

‘No. I need you to leave the city,’ I say, trying to sound as calm as possible. ‘Something awful might happen very soon, and if it does, I want you to be somewhere safe.’

‘Something awful,’ she repeats. ‘Does it have to do with . . . him?’ She nods at Derrick.

‘Not him, but other fae who would harm you, given the chance.’

‘I see.’ She’s looking rather ill again. ‘At Lord Hepburn’s ball, you mentioned an evil faery. That’s what attacked the poor man, wasn’t it?’

‘Unfortunately.’

‘What about you?’ she asks me. ‘You still haven’t told me what you do when you vanish.’

Uncertainly, I sip my tea. This time, I can’t look at her. I don’t want to see her face when I tell her. ‘I kill them.’

‘
Oh
.’ Out of the corner of my eye, I see her lift a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh,’ she says again softly. ‘I don’t . . . I’m sorry, I don’t quite know what to say.’

I nod in understanding. I don’t know what to say, either.

‘Will you leave, too?’ she says faintly. ‘Or will you . . .’ She doesn’t continue.

‘One startling revelation a day, remember,’ I say gently. ‘I’ve already made two.’

Chapter 33

A
n electric lantern floats above my head in the garden, illuminating the prickly hedges that have lost their lush green leaves for the winter. I reach up and gently nudge it, so it casts light on the engine for the steam-powered locomotive I’ve been working on for months.

I put the gland and valve rods in position for the steam-chest, concentrating solely on the movement of my hands as I fit the pieces of metal together. If I don’t keep busy, I’ll be forced to think about the impossible puzzle of the seal that I’ve spent the entire day trying to solve, and about the consequences if I fail. If I allow myself to consider that even for a moment, I suddenly find it very difficult to breathe.

I’m taking longer than necessary to complete the steam-chest. No matter. When I finish here, I’ll find something else to build. Something even more complicated that will help clear my mind for when I go back to figuring out the seal.

I wipe the back of my greasy hand against my cheek to brush back an errant strand of hair, then position a bolt in the engine. A few swift jerks of the spanner and it fits snugly in place.

The locomotive’s body is a scaled-down version of the ones that grace the front of trains. It rests on four wheels, the rear pair larger than the front, both body and wheels attached to a manoeuvring mechanism I’ve designed to be effective over rockier terrain. The steam engine at the front uses fuel more efficiently than my ornithopter, so the vehicle is fast. Like my ornithopter, the vehicle’s roof is entirely retractable. The interior boasts two leather seats with a standing platform behind them.

Stored underneath the platform is my latest invention: a sonic cannon. It launches a narrow, intense blast of sound that reaches beyond the human pain threshold and well past that of a fae. One shot should disorientate a number of them, a distraction we may need. I mentally thank the
cù sìth
for the inspiration.

‘Kam.’

I jump and drop the spanner. The tool lands in the grass with a muffled
thunk
. I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn’t even sense him beside me, or notice the taste of his power. ‘How long have you been standing there?’

Kiaran frowns, studying me. He’s wearing rough raploch again, his hunting clothes. ‘Not long. You look upset.’

‘All things considered,’ I say, ‘I think I’m handling my impending death quite well, don’t you?’

My words have no visible effect on Kiaran. He stares at the locomotive. ‘What’s this?’

‘Transport,’ I say. ‘An alternative if the ornithopter is destroyed. It’ll hold any extra weapons. Speaking of which –’ I reach for the sonic cannon ‘– I’d like to test something on you.’

Kiaran raises an eyebrow. ‘Are you planning to shoot me again?’

‘You’ll see.’

I slip plugs into my ears, then rest the barrel of the cannon on my shoulder and lower the intensity to give him just a wee blast.

I pull the release. Kiaran staggers most satisfyingly and his lips move in the shape of a
very
bad word. I bite back my laughter. I made Kiaran swear.

Smiling, I remove the plugs. ‘I’d say that worked very well, wouldn’t you?’

Kiaran moves too quickly for me to register. Suddenly he’s standing so close to me that I have to tip my head back to see his face. ‘If you wanted to fight, all you had to do was ask.’ He lifts the cannon from my shoulder and puts it on the passenger seat. ‘Try to best me again.’

‘I’m not in the mood, MacKay.’

Kiaran ignores me. He moves and I dodge without thinking. His fist goes straight into the locomotive’s passenger door, buckling it.

I mutter a curse of my own as I whirl to face him. ‘Damnation, MacKay! I just finished fitting that door. What the hell are you doing?’

The street lamps behind him illuminate his dark hair with a golden halo and the scant light betrays a hint of a smile. ‘Challenging you.’

‘I don’t accept.’

‘I don’t care.’

His arm shoots out and I’m sliding across the ground, grass burning my arms and my chin. I turn over and Kiaran picks me up by the ruff of my shirt.

‘Fight me,’ he growls.

‘I said I don’t want to!’

‘Do you think that will matter when we’re in battle? Will you tell our enemies that
you don’t bloody want to
?’

With a growl, I launch myself at him. We trade blows. His are so quick I barely have time to dodge them. I block one blow with my upper arm and try to kick out at his knee. He manages to hook an ankle around mine and sweep my feet out from under me. I land hard on my bottom.

‘
Stop it
, MacKay.’

Kiaran yanks me close. ‘Tell me what happened the night your mother died.’

I shove at his chest. ‘No.’

He tightens his hold. ‘Did you even want to save her?’ His eyes burn into mine. ‘Is that why you just stood by and let it happen?’

I scream. I smash my forehead against his and slam my fist into his face. This time, I’m faster. I push against him with all my strength. I kick and claw him until his shirtsleeves are torn and his skin is bleeding. Even then, I don’t stop. I shove him down to the ground and stand over him, ready to finish him off if I have to.

But he reaches up, striking fast, and drags me to the ground. He pins me under the heavy weight of his muscled body, clamping my arms against my sides as I buck against him. Confound it, I can’t even throw him off of me.

‘Damn you,’ I snarl.

‘You see how easy that was?’ he says, looking down at me. His eyes are black and inscrutable.

I heave in frustration. ‘What?’

‘For me to say the very thing that would make you violent.’

I try to roll him off, but he’s too blasted heavy. ‘Because you were trying to!’

‘Aye, I was.’ He clamps my wrists harder and lowers his face towards mine until our skin is almost touching. I stop struggling. For an awful moment, I think he’s about to kiss me. Perhaps even more awfully, I think I’d let him. I shiver at the thought.

‘I know your weakness, Kam. What triggers you.’ He leans in even closer, lips just above mine. ‘After the other night, so does Sorcha. And make no mistake – she’ll find some way to use it against you.’

He rolls onto his back. I lie there with the rough grass beneath me and press a hand to my chest. My heart beats rapidly beneath my palm, heavy thumps I can feel against my ribs.

‘You know why I had to do that,’ he says.

‘I know.’

Above us, the clouds part to reveal the stars, bright and untouchable. Polaris. Alderamin. Gamma Cassiopeiae. I remember my mother pointing to each star as she named them. Her smile was so beautiful and warm.

Can you name them, Aileana? Here now, repeat after me. Polaris. Alderamin. Gamma Cassiopeiae. Crimson suits you best.

I flinch and pull myself out of the memories. I can’t do it. I’m unable to remember my mother without recalling her death, without picturing her face flecked with blood. Without seeing Sorcha smile as she tore out her heart.

Now I’ll never be able to kill Sorcha. I’ll never find retribution for my mother’s death. I’ll have to let that disgusting faery live because I’ve come to care for Kiaran, far more than I ever thought I would.

I suck in a deep breath and Kiaran grips my shoulder, as if he heard my thoughts. ‘Remember what I told you about cherishing these moments? You might lose them.’

I dig my fingers into the grass. ‘Don’t presume to tell me about loss, MacKay. What do you know of it?’

He deliberately brought that part of my memory back to teach me a lesson and show how it could be used against me. It’s not my strength. It’s my weakness, and it always has been.

Kiaran says, ‘Lie still, Kam.’

He says it so calmly and rationally, and just like that my anger is shattered. I settle next to him and stare up at the sky again. The clouds are beginning to clear. Everything is so calm, so still. He’s right – I need to appreciate this moment. I don’t know how much my life will change after midwinter, if I’ll even have one to return to.

‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. You lost your Falconer.’

‘Not just her.’ There’s a catch in his voice. I glance over at him, startled. But when I try to meet his gaze, he looks away. ‘My sister, too.’

The sister Kiaran didn’t want to talk about this afternoon in the drawing room. His sister, who built the device. Who can’t be contacted . . .
oh, no
.

I shut my eyes. ‘She’s imprisoned, too, isn’t she?’

‘Aye,’ he says quietly. ‘Aithinne fought alongside the Falconers. She made me leave in the middle of the battle, so I wouldn’t be trapped with her and the others. Sorcha stayed out of the fight and had been tasked by her brother Lonnrach to slaughter the surviving Falconers if they won. My sister wanted me to ensure that didn’t happen.’

‘So she sacrificed herself.’ I almost reach for his hand to squeeze it, to offer him some comfort, but I don’t. I’m not certain how he’d take it. ‘Do you think she’s still alive down there?’

‘The others aren’t strong enough to kill her.’ His jaw tightens. ‘But that doesn’t mean they won’t find a way to make her wish they could.’

I shiver. Despite all that I’ve seen, I can’t even begin to contemplate what methods of torture the
daoine sìth
are capable of. Even a faery as powerful as Kiaran’s sister could be broken after two thousand years of it. God, what Kiaran must have gone through – must
still
be going through – knowing what his sister is enduring and being unable to do a thing to help her.

‘We’ll get her out,’ I reassure him. ‘She’ll be free of that.’

Kiaran nods. ‘Take care with her. She’s the only one who can come up with a more permanent lock for the prison.’ He’s silent for a long time, and when he finally speaks again, I barely hear him. ‘And I’ll take her place with the others.’

I’ll take her place with the others
. All this time I’ve been dreading the consequences if I fail to activate the device. I’ve never considered what will happen if I succeed.

‘Then you’ll be—’ He’ll be imprisoned. And when his sister is safe, we’ll be looking for a way to keep him there. ‘
No
, MacKay.’

Kiaran tilts his face to the sky. Moonlight bathes his skin in a lustrous glow. ‘It’s my choice.’

Something tightens in my chest and I can barely breathe. No matter what happens, I’ll never see Kiaran again after midwinter. Every option I have ends the same way: with me losing him.

I bite back a bitter laugh. I tried so hard to steel myself against him, putting so much effort into convincing myself of how unfeeling he is, how inhuman. I realise now that despite all my vows never to forget he’s fae, it doesn’t matter any more. Perhaps it never did.

‘Please don’t,’ I whisper. I want him to tell me that he’ll find some way to escape. That we’ll make it out of this together.

‘I have to.’

Anger flares inside me. ‘You don’t
have
to do anything. Staying out of this doesn’t go against your damn vow.’

‘This has nothing to do with my vow.’ He looks at me then, with infinite sadness in his ancient gaze. ‘I want to be there with you until the end.’