The Falcon in the Barn (Book 4 Forest at the Edge series) (19 page)

He had to let Thorne go, he knew that.

But knowing it and doing it are two different
things.

Then again, he could just let Perrin handle
things, and that would be a most terrifying and yet satisfying
death to witness—

Shem shifted uneasily, shocked at his own
thoughts, and again he felt his right hand pull away from Thorne’s
throat. But it, too, desperately wanted to form a fist and punch
that smarmy mouth.

“
You say a word of this to
Shin,” Thorne said, blood bubbling from his lips which he tried to
spit away, “and I’ll have my father transfer you far
away.”

“
I don’t have to say a
word. Jaytsy will tell him, and then you’ll be the one packing
up.”

Thorne scoffed at that. “He won’t believe
her. No officer believes his daughter. And if he did, he still
can’t touch me, or he’d be the biggest hypocrite alive. Besides,
taking girls really doesn’t matter, Zenos. That’s what they’re here
for—our use.”

The voice in Shem’s mind reacted before he
could thrust the long knife, ordering him to,
Release
him—now!

Shem knew from experience to listen to that
voice, even if it went contrary to everything he wanted.

Especially
when it went contrary.

Grudgingly, Shem slid off of Thorne’s chest,
and the captain rolled over, gasping and coughing and spitting out
blood.

He scrambled to his feet, a bit unsteadily,
and gave Shem a nasty smile. “You want me to stay away from Jaytsy?
Well maybe she doesn’t
want
me to stay away, Zenos. What
then?” Without waiting for a response he snatched up his jacket and
sword, and stumbled into a run from the barn.

“
Why you little—” Shem
shoved the long knife into his boot, his right hand eagerly forming
a fist—envious of the left hand’s well-placed punch—and he ran to
the front doors.

But there he stopped, realizing that by the
time he caught up to Thorne there’d be dozens of soldiers around,
so beating up the captain in front of them could generate a few
questions. Lemuel would have enough explaining to do about his
appearance, but he’d probably just claim he was thrown from his
spooked horse.

Shem realized he had other options; he could
go tell Perrin, which would doubtlessly result in spectacular
retribution—

Jaytsy.

Her terrified face from a few moments ago
filled his mind, and he realized he had plenty of time to tell her
father. Right now, there was an almost sixteen-year-old girl in
likely terrible condition.

Shem closed his eyes and immediately pictured
where she was. He sprinted around the side of the barn to a stand
of trees where he could just make out a figure cowering on the
ground in a tight ball.

“
Oh, Jaytsy!” he whispered
and gingerly tiptoed over to her. He hesitated to hug her,
concerned that the presence of another man might be the last thing
she wanted. Instead he crouched and placed a gentle hand on her
head, which she had buried in her arms.

Cautiously she lifted her head to see who was
there, then, recognizing Shem, she lunged and caught him in a
hug.

Shem sat down in front of her to hold her,
trying to keep back his tears of rage.

“
Come here, Jayts,” he said
softly as she curled up into his arms the way she did when she was
six years old. She was far too big now, but he found a way to
embrace her anyway. “Oh, I’m so sorry Jayts. We need to get you to
your mother—”

To his astonishment, she pulled away and
exclaimed, “No! Uncle Shem, we can’t do that to them! Mother’s not
ready and did you see Father today? He looked
so good
. Next
week is so important. He needs to be ready for the ceremony. I
can’t do this to them!”

“
Jayts, they need to know!
Your mother needs to, to . . .” He gave up trying to find the
words. What her mother would do to even begin to try fix any of
this was, well . . . he didn’t know, nor did he try to imagine. All
he knew was that this was far,
far
beyond the role of an
uncle.

Jaytsy slid off his legs and knelt next to
him. “Shem, I’m all right,” she said, sounding strangely mature and
calm. “
I’m fine
.”

When he looked at her more closely in the
growing dark, he realized she wasn’t even crying, but grinning.
Completely perplexed, all he could say was, “But . . . but . .
.”

“
He got the worst of it,
Uncle Shem! You and Father would’ve been proud of me. I got him,
twice! I kick more accurately than Peto.”

“
But . . . but . .
.”

“
He wasn’t successful,
Shem,” and he noticed that she once again had dropped the
uncle
, “He couldn’t be. I remembered everything Father
showed me, and did most of it. I really
am
all right.” She
smiled and patted his shoulder comfortingly.

Shem leaned back against a tree and covered
his face with his hands. “Thank the Creator,” he whispered. “You’re
something else, Miss Jaytsy Shin. Come to think of it, he did look
pretty bad before I even got to him.” He released a tense chuckled.
“Ah, Jayts—when I saw you in there . . .” He shook his head at the
memory that was still so raw, so enraging. “I was ready to kill
him. I really was.”

“
You didn’t, did you?” she
said, panic rising in her voice. “You’d get in so much trouble. I
mean, I heard you yelling at him, but you didn’t—”

“
No,” Shem sighed heavily,
“I didn’t kill him. Pricked his throat a few times, punched him
pretty good in the jaw—”

“
Good
,” Jaytsy said,
something deep and bitter in her tone that made Shem’s left fist
feel proud of itself.

“
Jayts, we need to keep him
away from you.

“
I know,” she agreed, “but
I bring Father his dinner every evening, and I don’t want to miss
that. It’s been good for both of us.”

A terrible thought occurred to Shem. “Wait a
minute—just how long has this been going on with Thorne?”

Jaytsy shrugged and examined the dark earth
she sat on. “He was walking me home every day last year when he
first arrived, but by Weeding Season I told him I wasn’t ready for
his attention. He did kiss me once, though, last year,” she
shivered at the memory. “I’ve run into him a couple dozen times
since then, but only for a few minutes here and there. Then
tonight,” she paused, her voice a little shaky, “tonight he said I
was ‘ready’.”

His right hand balled up into a fist, ready
and willing, but Shem forced it to relax. “Oh, Jayts, I’m sorry. I
had no idea. I don’t think your parents knew, either.”

“
I figured everyone had
enough to worry about, so I just handled him myself. Hid in the
fields weeding, things like that.”

“
You shouldn’t have to,
though,” he told her earnestly. “I could have helped.”

“
It was a bad time,” she
said vaguely.

Then Shem understood, and he closed his eyes.
“It was when Perrin was first struggling, wasn’t it? And I bet I
said something stupid like, ‘We shouldn’t bother him with
anything,’ didn’t I?”

She nudged his boot with hers. “It wasn’t
stupid, Shem. And I really didn’t want to bother any of you.”

“
Well, you shouldn’t have
listened to me—and that’s the only time I’ll ever say that again! I
could’ve helped. Promise me you won’t ever keep something like this
secret again. The whole reason why I’m here is to help your family.
I’ve already promised Lemuel I’ll be keeping a very close eye on
him, but you know, Jayts, it really would be a lot easier if you
told your parents—”

She got up on her knees. “No, Uncle Shem, I’m
begging you. Don’t say a word to them! I held him off! You scared
him nearly to death, I’m sure. Not a word to my parents?”

“
You got lucky, Jaytsy, but
you might not be next time. And next time, it may not be Thorne. It
may be another—” He recognized her clearly confused look. Grandpy
Neeks had been right; soldiers
were
looking at ‘little’
Jaytsy Shin. And she definitely wasn’t ‘little’ anymore. She
probably noticed their smiles, but innocently didn’t recognize
their leers.

He groaned as she cocked her head at him in
question. He really didn’t want to have this discussion with
her.

“
All right, all right,” he
sighed. “I promise: not a word. Whenever you come to the fort, let
me walk with you. But let me state right now, I don’t like keeping
this a secret from your parents. They
can
handle it
now.”

“
Come on, Shem,” she kicked
his foot again, this time playfully. “I’m sure you’ve kept a few
secrets from them.”

Something flashed across Shem’s face that
Jaytsy must have glimpsed in the dark.

“
You have, haven’t you,
Uncle Shem?” she giggled. “So just one more secret then, please?
For a little while? If there’s any more trouble with Lemuel, then
we can tell them. If not, they’ll never have to fret about what
they don’t know.”

Shem groaned softly and rubbed his temples.
“All right, all right. Your family’s giving me a headache, Jaytsy.
All these secrets . . . don’t tell Perrin he’s being sedated. Don’t
tell my parents Thorne tried to attack me. Don’t tell Mahrree that
Versula Thorne kissed Perrin in Idumea . . .”

That last one wasn’t an accidental
revelation. He wanted Jaytsy to know, on some level, exactly what
kind of family the Thornes were. Shem wasn’t disappointed by her
reaction.

Jaytsy’s eyes were bulging appropriately when
she gasped, “Whoa, Shem! She did
what
?! When you were in
Idumea? Tell me!”

“
Yep, she did. Right in
front of me, too. But if I told you
all
that I know about
everything
, you’d be so shocked you’d sit there for three
days straight.”

Jaytsy giggled despite her surprise. “So what
happened?”

Shem smiled halfheartedly. “Don’t you worry,
Jayts. Perrin didn’t return her affection and got rid of Versula as
fast you got rid of her son. Without kicking her, though.” Then,
mumbling to himself, he added, “Why anyone wants to be an officer
is beyond me. You people are so messed up.
Be a farmer
, my
father said.
You want stress, try growing crops
.”

Jaytsy giggled again and kissed Shem’s cheek.
“Thank you for keeping us all straight. At least we keep you
entertained, right? You don’t regret being with us really, do
you?”

“
Entertained? Ha!” Shem
barked. “I used to think people went to the amphitheater because
they were so bored with their lives that any of that nonsense they
show now would be a welcomed diversion. But now I’m thinking if
they have lives anything like ours, they go just for some kind of
escape!
Entertained
. . .”

She looked slightly hurt.

He gently squeezed her arm. “But no, Jayts, I
never regret being with your family. Wait, let me think about it .
. . Uh, all right, no.”

“
Poor Shem,” Jaytsy laughed
softly. “By the way, how did you know to come to the
barns?”

“
Just a feeling I knew I
had to act upon.”

“
Well, in behalf of the
Shin family, I thank you for coming to the rescue.
Again.”

“
Oh, I do it so often it’s
an old habit now.” He waved it off, got to his feet, and held out
his hands to help her up. “Come on, I’ll walk you home. We need to
come up with an excuse as to why you’re late getting home. Ah,
listen to me. Now you have me making up lies!”

“
That’s why you’re an
honorary Shin!”

Chapter 8
~
“It was a good night. All is well.”

S
ome mornings just
feel significant. There’s nothing different in the air, but
everything has a singular feel nonetheless. Perhaps the feeling
comes from within and is projected outward. When everyone
anticipates the day—be it birthdays or Harvest Celebration—perhaps
they energize it themselves with their own expectations.

When Perrin opened his eyes early in the
morning, he knew what day it was: the 37
^th
Day of
Planting. He looked up at the high peaked roof and remembered it
was exactly one year ago that the old low roof came down. He
thought about the many years before when nothing more significant
happened than Peto breaking an arm or him getting another gash that
required stitches. When their roof gave way last year it was if
everything else collapsed in their world. If only he had known what
would transpire in the next year . . .

Well if he did, what could he have done?
Anything different? He’d asked himself that many times. Visiting
his parents after the land tremor and taking back the stores for
Edge—he wouldn’t have changed a thing about any of that.

But afterward? Sometimes he pictured himself
resigning in front of the Administrators, or taking a stab at
Gadiman when he was on that grotesque table. Once he considered
what would have happened if he hadn’t taken that mad ride to Idumea
in the first place. Would he still have gone down in that spiral
that he had to climb out of so many mornings?

When he went to apologize to Rector Yung a
few weeks ago, Perrin stayed for much longer than five minutes. He
revealed to the tiny man that, despite the attention of his family
and friends, he’d felt abandoned.

“
By whom?” Rector Yung
prodded.

Perrin stared at his hands before saying,
“The army. Surely they knew this happens to soldiers sometimes.
Shem said he read about trauma in the surgeon’s book, but even the
surgeon couldn’t give him much practical advice beyond this
bracelet.”