The Explosion Chronicles (45 page)

“… I, however, can’t leave Explosion,” Zhu Ying explained. “If anyone were to see me leave and go into the capital, Kong Mingliang would immediately know what I was up to.

“… You may think of this as my act of saving you. But at the same time, it’s actually true that I’m saving you. You should take eight hundred girls to the capital tonight, and if you don’t have enough you can also take the girls who are currently working here as cooks and grounds sweepers. As long as they’re under thirty and are reasonably attractive, then you should have them all work the streets and alleys of Beijing.

“… You have to trust me when I tell you that the hardest men in the world to deal with are those officials. On the other hand, the easiest to deal with are those students who will go on to become professors and experts. Even if you give them a woman in her forties whose beauty is already fading, they will still hug her tight. You have to trust me, because I’m confident that within a few days after you reach Beijing you’ll surely be able to snare at least half of the men on that list.

“… I’m begging you, and if you need to lose your virginity then do so, but as long as you can snare at least half of the men on that list, then Kong Mingliang will be mine. At that point, Explosion
will belong to me, and to all of us women. When the time comes, not only will I give you everything that I currently own, I also promise to arrange for you to see my elder brother-in-law, Kong Mingyao. I promise to secretly arrange for him to like you, and even fall in love with you. That way, the two of you can get married and spend the rest of your lives together.

“… Fragrance, I’m begging you to trust me this one time, or at least trust me when I say that I promise I can arrange for you to see Kong Mingyao, and that I can arrange for Mingyao to like you, love you, marry you, and spend the rest of his life with you.”

2. SECOND ACT OF TRANSFORMATION

I.

Half a month after Fragrance went to the capital with eight hundred girls and the list of the names of men they were supposed to snare, the group of 1,110 experts began to cast their votes. The choice was between Explosion and that other city on the southern coast, to decide which of them would be elevated to the status of a metropolis under the direct rule of the central government. The final decision was in the hands of those experts. Originally, all of the delegations from Explosion to the capital projected that 80 percent of the experts would vote for Explosion, but in the end Explosion received only 30 percent of the votes, the other city on the southern coast received 40 percent, and the remaining 30 percent of the votes were abstentions.

Thirty percent of the experts had thrown away their right to vote as though it were a dirty tissue.

The day before the vote, Mingliang returned to Explosion from Beijing. He had already met with all of the officials and experts
he needed to see, and had given away his secret extravagant gifts. The experts representing the public out of a sense of public duty should have voted for Explosion for the sake of the future of the nation’s development. After all, over the preceding decade the entire nation’s reform policy had had the distorting effect of exacerbating the wealth gap between the rich south and the poor north, and if northern China was going to achieve prosperity, then Beijing would have to elevate Explosion to the status of a provincial-level metropolis. Mingliang knew, therefore, that Explosion’s promotion was already virtually guaranteed and that the experts’ votes were merely a legal formality.

The last time he went to visit and thank one of the officials who would decide which city would be promoted, the old man was sitting quietly in his courtyard. The old man asked,

“Why have you come to Beijing, rather than staying in Explosion?

“… Don’t you realize that it is taboo for you, as city mayor, to be here in Beijing?

“… The one place where you should be right now is in Explosion. You are Explosion’s grass roots, its countryside, and its mountain region. If the city were to have a disaster, such as a devastating flood or earthquake, you should be in the headquarters at the front lines of the disaster zone.”

On the logic that once the necessary preparations have been completed one can wait for things to take their course, Mingliang left several deputy mayors and other delegates behind in Beijing, while he himself took several secretaries back to Explosion. He did this not in order to be able to send commands from a disaster zone in the event of a flood or an earthquake, but instead merely because he was concerned that the possibility of a natural disaster like an earthquake, a flood, or a tornado would lead these experts to conclude that Explosion, on account of its geographic location and its natural
conditions, was not suitable for promotion. Mingliang decided that it would be fine if he simply waited in his city government building for the experts to cast their votes. Accordingly, on June 1, Children’s Day, he told some workers to bring out a tea table from the city government’s tearoom and place it beneath the tallest grape trellis in the government building courtyard. He told them to bring out his favorite wicker chair and place on the table a red telephone connecting directly to the heart of the central government. In a tea box beneath the table, he placed two cell phones, the numbers of which very few people knew. Then he dismissed all of the secretaries and workers, steeped himself a cup of Longjing tea that he didn’t intend to drink, and proceeded to sit there with his eyes half closed, waiting for either the red telephone or one of the cell phones in the tea box to ring.

Eventually, one of the cells phones rang.

It was ten in the morning when Mingliang sat down there to wait, and at eleven one of the cell phones rang—half an hour earlier than he had expected. As he was reaching to answer it, he didn’t stand up and instead scooted his chair forward. But from when he picked up the phone to when he put it down, his expression quickly changed from excitement to a look of icy calm. The call was from a deputy mayor speaking from Beijing’s Shangri-La Hotel, and the first thing he said was, “Mayor, you mustn’t get angry …” The last thing he said before hanging up was, “I’ll definitely figure out why things changed course. Don’t worry, I’ll definitely figure out how things went wrong.” After hanging up, Mingliang wanted to throw the cell phone to the ground, but instead he very slowly placed it on the table. Then it occurred to him that the other cell phone should be ringing as well, and in fact it did. He assumed that it must be his administrative secretary, Cheng Qing, calling, and in fact it was. Her voice was muffled and mysterious, as though there were someone next to her listening in. She not only pressed the phone tightly to
her ear but also used her other hand to cover her mouth, making her voice sound even more mysteriously soft.

“You know, there were only four hundred and ten votes in favor of Explosion, while there were eight hundred and twenty fucking votes against.

“… This breakdown of votes in favor and against is identical to that of the vote when you and Zhu Ying were running for village chief. Do you belief in karma? Do you know where the problem lies? At that time, you should have failed but didn’t, but now that same evil woman has been responsible for your downfall!

“… Can you believe it? Today, when those male experts came to vote, half of them had nannies who were in fact whores from Explosion—they were whores trained in that special vocational school in Explosion, of which neither you nor I has any knowledge.

“… Mayor Kong, you are the mayor of the twenty million residents of Explosion. Do you know who is the principal of that special vocational school? She is none other than your family’s old whore—that yellow-faced bitch! All of the whore nannies from Explosion, if they were not able to contact the high-level cadres whom they were targeting, settled for the cadres’ drivers, secretaries, and cooks. In this way, they managed to take down those experts, professors, and academicians!”

Cheng Qing concluded with a tearful plea. “Mayor Kong, listen to me. You must divorce your wife either today or tomorrow. You don’t necessarily need to marry me—I’m no longer thinking about that. But for the sake of Explosion, and for the sake of the people of Explosion, I beg you to immediately have someone deliver the divorce papers to her. You must cut off her dreams, so that she will no longer think about your and Explosion’s future.”

When he hung up the phone, Kong Mingliang thought he was calm, but he actually threw the phone. He hurled it into a rosebush
in front of him. The rosebush was in full bloom and was flaming red, like a women having sex in the middle of her period. He stared at that flowerpot and suddenly had an evil thought. He wanted to stamp on that rosebush, but it had a single blossom, and the rest was only green leaves. When he went over and lifted his foot to stomp on that single rose, the flowerpot suddenly didn’t have any green leaves left and instead, in the blink of an eye, dozens of red roses had bloomed, resembling layers upon layers of flames.

When he looked away, he saw that none of the rosebushes that were located every few meters along the path and beneath the grape trellis had any green leaves left, and instead they had all burst into fiery bloom. Even the cell phone he had just thrown down burst into bloom inside the tile flowerpot.

The mayor didn’t know how his evil thought could have made all of those rosebushes simultaneously burst into bloom, to the point that there were no green leaves left in any of the flowerpots. He stared at those rosebushes, until the red phone with a direct connection to the heart of the Beijing government finally began to ring. It rang like an epileptic having a seizure. As he lunged forward to grab that trembling receiver, Mingliang first cupped his hand over the receiver and then, after he caught his breath, said politely and warmly, “Hello!” He waited for the response from some important personage or Beijing official, but instead the voice he heard coming from the receiver was the steely voice of his brother Mingyao.

“Brother, I know everything. From the perspective of our family, we should destroy Second Sister-in-Law. But from the perspective of Explosion and of the nation, not only must you leave her alone, but furthermore you must treat her well.”

Mingyao said, “My brother, your entire life you have been foiled by women.”

He added, “As long as Explosion can receive at least half the votes in the next round of voting, you can kneel down before Sister-in-Law. You should agree to anything she asks, even if it involves killing someone!

“… You should have all of the city’s cadres kneel down before her. If Sister-in-Law wants someone dead, you should have that person locked away until they die—as long as Sister-in-Law doesn’t interfere any further with the voting process.

“… Your next directive should instruct Explosion’s residents to go kneel down in front of Sister-in-Law—for the sake of Explosion and its twenty million residents!”

After putting down the phone, Mingliang overturned the tea table in front of him, broke the red phone’s cord, then smashed the telephone to the ground next to the overturned table. Then, bizarrely, he repeatedly slapped the face of the secretary who had run over to help him, and kicked a squirrel that was sitting at his feet watching him. The squirrel spat up blood all over the ground and all over Mingliang’s shoes, and after waiting for the squirrel to stop breathing he—with his toes still pointed—screamed like a barbarian at the sky,

“Zhu Ying, you beast, you whore, you slut who has been tormenting me my entire life—if I, Kong Mingliang, don’t send you to prison, then I don’t deserve to be mayor or even Kong Mingliang!”

He shouted, “All of the people, trees, and plants of the city government, please listen—if I don’t succeed in killing Zhu Ying after Explosion has been promoted to a provincial-level metropolis, then I want you to kill me right here instead. That way, this city government compound will become my cemetery and my graveyard.”

He added, “Did you hear me? After one of us is dead, you should open your eyes and see that all of my goodwill toward this whore has been for the sake of you and Explosion, and if I manage
to kill her you will all kowtow to me and to the city government, expressing your gratitude!”

After making this announcement, Kong Mingliang stood there for a while, his lips bleeding where he had bitten them. There were tears in his eyes, though it was unclear whether they were tears of love or tears of hatred.

II.

By afternoon, Mayor Kong decided to go implore his wife.

He knew that if there were in fact three thousand maid-whores who had been scattered throughout the capital’s streets and alleys, penetrating into the homes of experts who were about to vote, then Zhu Ying would be able to prevent Explosion from being promoted to a provincial-level metropolis. He waited under the grape trellises behind city hall until he was able to calm himself down and then, in addition to placing several telephone calls to Beijing instructing his people to undertake a variety of lobbying efforts on his behalf, he decided to go back and see his wife, Zhu Ying, in person. He sent three secretaries to go to Zhu Ying’s home and drive her to the city hall, but they reported back that when they arrived at her home, she was not even willing to open the door to them. Eventually, Mingliang realized that he had no choice but to go to her home, the same way that when he was trying to be elected village chief thirty years earlier, he also had to go see her in person. At the time of that earlier visit, the village board was located not very far from Zhu Ying’s house, and Mingliang could cover the distance in a dozen steps or so. But now the city government compound was located several dozen kilometers from the old main road, and he needed to take a forty-minute ride to cover the distance. Moreover, he had not anticipated that, even though Explosion’s promotion to the status of a provincial-level metropolis had not yet been approved, the streets would still be filled
with people marching up and down while waving national flags and hibiscus flowers. Countless youngsters had gathered in the square, in the streets, and in the garden in the city center, and they were taking turns standing on tables and stones while making speeches celebrating the nation’s development and advocating that Explosion be promoted. The sound of their chants echoed through the city streets like claps of thunder, as the red flags and banners that were hanging everywhere made Explosion resemble a pot of boiling water. Some cars had stopped by the side of the road and were honking their horns, as though it were a national holiday.