The Exception (39 page)

We left the house, jumped into Brian’s car, and made our way into town. It was a beautiful morning in Chicago and we rode with the windows down. We grabbed coffee at Starbucks and then found a little bakery with all kinds of fresh goodness, ordering a dozen different things because we were indecisive.

“Will Brian care if I eat in his car?” I asked, peering into the bakery box that was sitting on my lap. “Because I’m not sure if I can wait until we get to your house.”

Heather laughed. “I’ll make it up to him, don’t worry. Give me one of those,” she said, pointing to a piece of coffee cake in the box.

The car was filled with that fresh baked scent as I opened the lid and handed Heather her slice. I grabbed a caramel topped doughnut with nuts and took a bite.

“I may move here just for the food,” I said through a mouth of confection.

“I can’t argue with that.” Heather wiped her mouth off on a napkin I handed her.

I took a deep breath, swallowing passed the lump that had formed in my throat. “Speaking of that …” My eyes darted to hers before looking back at the doughnut. “If I wanted to stay in Chicago, could I stay with you?”

Heather’s eyes flew to mine and I felt my cheeks heat.

“I’m not saying I want to. I just …” I searched for the right words to explain what I was thinking. “I don’t know, Heather. Things are just such a mess. They were a mess before I got here, I think.”

She sat her cake on the middle console. “You can always stay with me. You know that. But can I ask where your head is right now?”

I smiled sadly. “I wish I knew. I just feel like everything is out of control. I couldn’t control the fact that I had to come here, you know?”

I watched the traffic signal turn red and Heather slowed the car, coming to a stop. She looked at me.

“The last time I talked to you, you were worried that he was pulling away. Does this have something to do with that?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just feel like if I don’t watch it, I’m going to be the same person I was before. No control of anything. At the mercy of a man and his life. Always worried about something going on, about things happening that I don’t know about. And I want to make sure I don’t get back to that.”

“And you feel like if you know you can stay with me, that will help ease your nerves?”

Nodding, I said, “I’m just trying to remind myself that I have options.”

She laughed as the light switched to green. “I’ll be your backup plan. That’s fine with me. Just don’t go deciding anything too quickly, okay?”

“Okay.”

We rode in silence the rest of the way home, Heather giving me some space to think, which would have been great if I could have concentrated on anything. I would start to figure something out and my brain would go back to Cane. In Arizona. With Simon.

And the internal anxiety attack would begin all over again.

We finally reached Heather’s. We got out of the car and made our way to the house.

Something on the stoop caught my eye and I zeroed in on it as we approached.

“What’s that?” Heather asked, taking a couple of steps ahead of me and reaching it first.

I held my breath as I got up to it, a beautiful bouquet of colorful roses sat on the steps, a white card sticking out of the foliage with my name on it.

Heather unlocked the door and I picked it up, my heart fluttering in my chest.

I kicked the door shut behind me and sat the flowers down on the coffee table, Heather standing back and watching with a smug smile on her face.

Finding the card in the midst of reds, yellows, oranges, and whites, I opened it.

My eyes teared up. I held his note in my hand and looked up to Heather.

“I don’t care what you say. He is a keeper,” she said matter-of-factly. “He may not be perfect, but aside from Synyster Gates, no one is.”

I laughed, sniffling back tears. “He isn’t perfect. Not close. But damn it if he doesn’t try.”

“Trying,” Heather said, her voice softer, more serious, “is half the battle, my friend.”

She gave me a wink as she walked out, leaving me with my flowers … and my thoughts.

I snapped a picture of the flowers and sent it to Cane.

Me: They are so beautiful.

Within seconds, his response came.

Cane: You are more beautiful than those flowers.

Me: Thank you, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

Cane: Those flowers won’t be beautiful two weeks from now. You will be beautiful forever.

My lip quivered as I sent my response.

Me: I love you.

Cane: I miss you. And I love you.

Me: The orange ones are my favorite.

Cane: Mine, too. They remind me the most of you. And that dress.

Me: And red cups and wine? ;)

Cane: LOL And fancy pizza dinners in offices.

I giggled at the memory.

Me: I wish you were here.

Cane: No, I wish you were here. With me. Where you belong.

I just looked at his message, not sure what to even say.

Cane: Soon.

Me: Goodnight. <3

Cane: Goodnight, baby. <3

CANE

I woke up as the sun came up and reached out to pull Jada close. My hand brushed against the sheets and they lacked the warmth that her body usually brought to them.

I opened my eyes to search for her and remembered that she wasn’t there. I felt my world fall out from underneath me again, the loss of her almost more than I could bear.

I pulled my black comforter over my head and tried to go back to sleep. But every time I closed my eyes, I saw her green eyes, heard her laugh, and felt her skin against mine and I was reminded, yet again, of what I didn’t have.

And why.

“This is fucking bullshit!” I yelled out, my voice bouncing off of the walls. The echo made the room feel so empty just like I felt inside. So fucking empty.

How did I let things get this way? How did I so royally fuck this up?

I threw back the blankets and jumped out of bed, fueled with my own stupidity. I tugged the legs of my boxers down as I heard my phone ringing faintly.

Where the fuck is it?

It stopped ringing and a few seconds later the ring indicating a voicemail went off.

I scratched my head, trying to remember where I had sat it the night before.

My office, the workout room, the shower …

I remembered sitting it on the vanity while I brushed my teeth, fighting myself on whether to call Jada or not the night before. I walked towards the bathroom as it went off again.

I walked in and it was sitting right where I had left it. I looked at the screen and swiped it on.

“What’s up, Nick?”

“Hey, Cane. I have some good news for you, for once.”

I stilled. “I could use some good news right about now.”

“My sources tell me that Simon is hiding out in Casa Grande. There’s a pickup spot there for the cartel he works for. The police are watching it closely, but they can’t go in there guns blazing without a warrant and, unfortunately, they don’t have probable cause.”

“So we wait?”

“We wait. But at least we have somewhere to start.”

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit: bags under my eyes, the color of my face dull.

“Let me know if you hear anything else. He’s still around. The call to Jada proves that.”

“I know. We will get him. Just hold tight.”

Jab, cross, hook.

Jab, cross, hook.

Jab, cross, hook, uppercut.

I hit the bag over and over again as Powerman 5000 blared through my phone. I had to get some of the aggression out of my system so I could settle down.

It had been a long fucking day.

I got nothing done. I couldn’t focus on anything. I went from being insanely pissed off that Simon wasn’t found, to being sadder than I ever imagined that Jada wasn’t around, to angrier than hell that I couldn’t do anything to fix any of it.

I glanced at the clock.

2:19 AM

Jab, cross, hook.

Jab, cross, hook, uppercut.

I had been at it for a couple of hours and felt no better than I had before. The clarity, the peace I normally found in the gym was out of reach.

I squared up again and started throwing right, left, right when the music cut out and a ringtone took its place.

I tossed off my gloves and grabbed my phone off the dock.

“What’s up?”

“Cane. It’s Nick …”

JADA

I stepped out of the Escalade in front of Heather’s house the next afternoon following a goodbye brunch with Kari and Max. This was the moment I had been dreading more than anything. I watched them get out of the front seats and join me at the back of the vehicle.

“Are you going to be okay? No, don’t even answer that. I know you are going to be okay,” Kari said, blinking back the tears forming in her eyes.

“I’m going to be fine.” I sounded much more confident about that than I felt. Just thinking about the two constants in my life—the two people that had been there for me no matter what—leaving me and going back to Arizona destroyed me.

But I couldn’t go back yet … if I could at all.

I just wasn’t sure which way was up. Or if up was even a viable option.

“Come here,” Max said, pulling me into a tight embrace. “If you need anything, anything at all, you call me. I’ll figure it out.” He pulled me in tighter. “Cane is a handful. Just remember that everything he does is because he loves you, all right?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, sniffling.

His shoulders rose and dropped, a smirk on his face.

“Thank you for everything.” I pulled back from him and smiled. “Take care of my sister, okay?”

“Don’t worry about that.”

I turned to Kari, hugging my sister goodbye. Neither of us could find the words to express what we were feeling, but we both knew the other understood. “So, call me when you make it home. Your flight leaves first thing in the morning, right?” I asked, wiping my face dry with the back of my hands.

“Yeah, at ten, I think,” Kari said, looking at Max for confirmation; he shook his head.

“Okay. Well, let’s not delay the inevitable and make this hurt more than it’s going to,” I said, walking backwards towards the house. “I will see you guys soon.”