The Exception (4 page)

Jillian

The sun peered through the window as I opened the curtains and greeted the warm beautiful day. Staring at the full ocean view from my window, I smiled at the peace and serenity I felt at that moment. Sitting down on the bed, I opened up my laptop; there was someone I needed to check in on and talk to.

“Hey, you. I’ve been waiting for you to skype.” Kristen smiled.

“I’m sorry. By time I got to the hotel last night, it was late, and you’re six hours ahead, so I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I can’t believe you did it.”

“Me either. How are you feeling?”

“Same. I have chemo tomorrow and then another scan next week. But don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You need to focus on you and you only.”

“You know I’m always worried about you.” I pouted.

“Well, don’t be. I want you to have fun in Hawaii and focus on you. I’ll be here when you come to New York.”

“Is Noah taking good care of you?”

“He always does.” She smiled.

“Okay. I’m going to go so you can get some rest. I wish you could be here with me.”

“Me too. But no worries. We’ll take a trip one of these days.”

After saying goodbye, I rubbed my hand down my face. The guilt I felt about not flying straight to New York was eating at me. Kristen wouldn’t hear of it and told me to go somewhere for a while to collect my thoughts before settling in to my new life. She was one of the strongest women I knew and I couldn’t wait to see her.

After I took a shower, I curled the ends of my long brown hair, slipped into my floral spaghetti-strapped sundress, and headed downstairs to the restaurant for breakfast. When I walked in, I saw Drew and Jess sitting at a table. He was reading the newspaper and she was looking at her phone. Sighing, I asked the hostess to seat me on the other side of the restaurant.

As I sipped on my coffee, my phone rang, and it was Kellan.

“Hi there,” I answered.

“Hey. Sorry to bother you on your vacay, but I have to ask. You haven’t used any of your old credit cards, right?”

“No. I haven’t. I’ve been paying cash or using my new card.”

“Good. Your mom paid me a little visit earlier and demanded to know where you were. I really had to talk my way out of that one. I even had to cry. She and your father are checking all your credit cards, rental car places, airports, hotels, and your bank account.”

“They can check all they want. They won’t find anything.”

“Apparently, the limo driver spilled the beans and told them he dropped you off at Pier 59.”

“That asshole. I paid him good money to keep his mouth shut.”

“Well, your parents paid more to get the truth. But he didn’t tell them you got into a cab. He just said that when he dropped you off, he saw you walking down the street on foot.”

“Did you get rid of the dress?” I asked.

“Yeah. I went to the hotel last night, boxed it up, and sent it off to that girl in Wisconsin this morning.”

“Thank you.”

As I looked up, I saw Drew looking over at me. I gave a small smile and nod.

“Hello? Jill? Are you there?”

“Sorry.”

“Are you okay? Are you having second thoughts about everything?”

“God no! But I’m fine. It’s just I met this guy on the plane yesterday and then, when we landed in Los Angeles, we grabbed a bite to eat. We sat together again on the plane to Hawaii. Now he’s staying at the same hotel and I just saw him looking at me from across the restaurant.”

“Oh. Meow. Is he hot?”

I smiled. “Yeah. He is incredibly hot and he’s here with his girlfriend.”

“Damn.”

“No damn, Kellan. A guy is the last thing I need. Remember, I’m starting my life over. It’s a guy-free zone, at least for the next ten years or so.”

“I think ten years is a little ridiculous, Jilly Bean.”

“Nah. Ten should give me enough time to figure out who I am. There will be no exceptions.”

“If you say so. Go enjoy Hawaii. I just wanted to update you on the evil queen.”

“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll talk to you later.”

As I was eating my breakfast, I saw Drew and Jess get up from their table and head out of the restaurant with his hand on the small of her back. I won’t lie and say that my mind didn’t wonder what it would be like to have him as a boyfriend. The thought of dating scared me. I had only been with one guy my entire life: Grant.
Ugh
. The thought of him made my stomach feel sick. He came from an influential family of lawyers. And yes, we did attend Yale together. I think it was his and my parents’ way of keeping an eye on me. His father, a hotshot lawyer, owned his own high power firm, and as soon as Grant passed the bar, he would immediately become a partner and then take over completely when his father retired. I had no clue how he was going to be a lawyer since he never bothered to listen to what anyone said unless it benefited him. He was the true definition of a narcissist. He wasn’t even all that good looking. I mean, he was cute in his own five-foot-eight way. He was your typical preppy boy. Short dark hair that swept to the side, blue eyes, and certainly no muscles anywhere to be found on his body. He always wore polo shirts, which I hated, and occasionally, he would tie a sweater around his neck. If you looked up the definition of a snob in the dictionary, you’d see his picture full front and center. He looked down on people who didn’t have the kind of wealth he had and he was never ashamed to flaunt it. He was a cheater, a liar, and didn’t care about anyone but himself. Now let’s talk about sex. The thought made me shudder. His penis. Well, let’s just say that half the time, I couldn’t even feel it. I faked more orgasms than I had actual ones, and the actual ones were compliments of myself. He thought he was the man in the bedroom, but the truth was, he was just a boy who didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. We hadn’t had sex in months. It became draining trying to make up excuses why I didn’t want to. I was too tired, I had a headache, I had an infection, I was ovulating, I was on my period, I forgot to take my birth control pill the night before. You name it, I used it. Having sex with him was something I dreaded. It wasn’t a partnership. It was more about him satisfying his own needs.

I had meant what I said to Kellan on the phone. My new life and journey that I was about to embark on was about me. I didn’t care if “Mr. Right” walked up to me at this very moment. Guys weren’t going to be a part of my journey. Not for a very long time. This was a solo mission. My entire life had been in the hands of other people and now, I was taking it back. After finishing breakfast, I decided to do a little stand-up paddle boarding. After I headed up to my suite, I changed into my black bikini, threw my cover-up on me, grabbed a towel, and headed out the door. When the doors to the elevator opened, I saw Drew and Jess standing there.

“Hi.” I smiled.

“Hi,” Drew spoke with a small smile.

“Hello.” Jess looked me up and down. “Are you going to the pool?” she asked.

“Paddle boarding,” I replied.

“Ugh, I hate paddle boarding.”

“Well, it’s not for everyone.” I slightly rolled my eyes.

When the elevator doors opened, I stepped out and spoke, “Have a great day.”

“You too,” Drew replied.

While they walked away, I couldn’t help but stare at his attire. Black swim trunks that were just the right length, a tight light gray t-shirt that hugged his body in all the right places, and flip-flops. He looked smoking hot and I won’t lie and say my bikini bottoms didn’t get a little wet.
Ugh
. Shaking my head and entering back into reality, I walked over to where the paddle boards were.

“Can I paddle board out to that little island?” I pointed.

“You sure can. There’s a couple spots where you can sit down and get some sun if you want.”

“Great.” I smiled.

A feeling of peace overtook me as I got on the paddle board and began to make my way towards the island. As I was sitting there with my knees hugging my chest, I stared out into the ocean and listened to the serene sound of the waves. I had been to Hawaii many times growing up, and every time I visited, I felt the same peace that resided in me now, but that sense of feeling flew away the minute we stepped on the plane to go home.

Staring out and taking in the warmth of the sun that enveloped me, I noticed a man who kept falling off his paddle board heading towards the island. As I strained my eyes to get a better look, it seemed that man looked like Drew. He saw me staring at him as he sat on his board and put his arms out as if he was giving up. Laughing, I grabbed my board and paddled out to him.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I was trying to get to the island to come and say hi, but it just wasn’t working out.”

“Have you never been on a paddle board before?”

“No. Actually, I haven’t.” He sighed.

“Where’s Jess?”

“She came down with a migraine and went back to the room to lie down. I was sitting down at the pool and remembered you had said you were going paddle boarding, so I thought I’d give it a try.”

“How did you know I was at that island?”

“I asked the guy at the rental place if he knew which direction you were headed and he said you had asked about the island. So, hi.” He smiled.

“Hi.” I grinned. “Do you think you can make it back to shore without falling in the water?”

“I don’t think so. Maybe I should have had some lessons first.”

“That probably would have been a good idea. You know you can just sit on your knees. You don’t have to stand up if you’re not comfortable.”

“I thought about that, but then I’d look like an idiot out here. Look around; everyone is standing.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, hand me your paddle and slowly stand up. Put your foot where your knee was. One foot at a time and make sure the nose doesn’t dip up. Then, keep your feet hip width apart. The most important thing to remember is don’t balance with your entire body, just your hips, and don’t look down. Keep your head up and looking forward at all times.”

Drew did exactly what I said and balanced himself.

“Good, now here’s your paddle. Make sure you grip the top and stand tall. Don’t slouch.”

“Like this?” he asked.

“Yes. Perfect. Now follow me and use short strokes.”

As we began to paddle board back to shore, I looked over and noticed he was going in the wrong direction. I busted out into laughter.

“You’re going the wrong way!” I shouted.

“I can’t help it. It’s making me.”

“You’re paddling wrong. We’re going to the left, so you want to paddle on the right.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” He smiled as he turned his board around.

Finally, we made it back to shore, and I was pleasantly surprised how Drew managed to stay on the whole time.

“That was quite an adventure.” He grinned.

“Yeah. It sure was.”

We returned our paddle boards and began walking towards the lobby of the hotel.

“I think I’m going to hang out at the pool,” he spoke. “Care to join me?”

“I’m going to head back to the room and change. There’s someone I have to go see.”

“Okay. You have a friend here?”

“Yeah. He’s an old friend that I visit every time I come here.”

“You must visit a lot.”

“Every couple of years since I was six years old. I actually consider Hawaii my second home.”

“Nice. Have fun reconnecting with your friend.”

“Thanks. Have fun at the pool or maybe go take a paddle boarding lesson.” I winked.

He chuckled and I walked away and went back to my room.

Drew

She was so beautiful and she was all I thought about. I know, I was a bastard because I was in Hawaii with my girlfriend. But the truth was, we hadn’t been getting along the past couple months and I’d wondered if she was even worth it anymore. After having a slight disagreement at the pool, Jess suddenly came down with a migraine. She was successfully ruining this trip and it had only been one day. We had been dating about a year and my feelings for her never grew into anything more. She was a very selfish and jealous person and I couldn’t even smile politely at another woman without being accused of wanting to sleep with her. Her insecurities had been pushing me away for a while now and she knew it. This trip was her idea, and the reason we didn’t fly together was because I had an emergency business meeting in Seattle that came up unexpectedly, and I needed to be there. So she took our original flight out of New York and I changed my flight to fly out of Seattle.

As I sipped on my Mai Tai at the pool, I couldn’t get Jillian’s smile out of my head. Her laughter was enough to brighten up anyone’s life. She had touched me in a way that I had never felt before. From the moment she stepped on the plane, I felt a rush of something. I couldn’t even tell you what the hell it was because it was something I’d never experienced before.

“Hey,” Jess spoke as she sat down next to me.

“Hey. Are you feeling better?”

“A little. I’m sorry about earlier. I know it was all my fault and I just want this trip to be perfect. You’ve been so distant lately. We’ve been distant.”

“I know.” I sighed.

“I’m going to try harder, Drew. I promise. I love you, baby, and I want things to be good between us.” She leaned over and brushed her lips against mine.

“Okay. Would you like a drink?”

She ran her finger down my chest. “Why don’t we go back to the room and make love?”

“Are you feeling up to it?”

“Yes, and I know you’re the perfect cure for me.” She smiled.

              ****

Jess and I hadn’t had sex in over a month and I wasn’t really bothered by it. With the problems we’d been having and all the arguing, I wasn’t in the mood. I would just put on some porn and take care of myself. I thought maybe having sex with her now would make me feel something or feel different, but it didn’t and it didn’t help that I had a problem staying hard.
Shit
. I never had that problem before and it bothered me.

“Don’t be upset over it, Drew.” She softly stroked my chest. “I know you’ve been under a lot of stress lately with the company and I’ve done my fair share in contributing to that stress.”

I wanted to tell her that I didn’t think stress had anything to do with it and that she was more than likely the reason why. Actually, Jillian was the reason why. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how it would feel to make love to her. The whole time I was fucking Jess, I was thinking about Jillian, and it needed to stop. I would never have a chance with her anyway. Not only had she just dumped her fiancé yesterday, she was starting over and embarking on a self-discovery journey to find herself.

“I’m not upset and you’re right, I’ve been under a lot of stress lately,” I lied.

“Well, we’re just going to have to destress you, and the first thing I’m going to do to prove to you that I’ve changed is I’m going to invite that girl, what’s her name?”

“What girl?”

“The one who left her fiancé at the altar?”

“Jillian?”

“Yes, I’m going to invite Jillian to have dinner with us before we leave.”

Shit.
That was not a good idea.

“You don’t have to do that, Jess. This vacation is for the two of us.”

“Don’t be silly. I want to. She seems like a nice girl and she’s here alone. I kind of feel sorry for her. I’m sure she’s torn up by what she did and she could use some company.”

****

Jillian

I rented a car and drove to Ano’s house. I smiled as I pulled up and saw his family sitting on the front porch. His wife, three kids, aunt, sister, and brother in-law. They were a tight-knit family and they all lived in the same house. Stepping out of the car, I walked up to the porch, and his wife, Lonnie, got up from her chair and hugged me.

“You’re back.” She smiled. “Look at you. It’s been what? Two years since you were here last.”

“Yeah.” I hugged her tightly.

“I’ll go get Ano. He’ll be so surprised.”

As she went inside to get her husband, I said hello to all his family members. When Ano opened the creaky storm door, he stopped when he saw me.

“Jillian.” He held out his arms.

“Hi, Ano.”

“It’s good to see you again, girl. What’s been going on in that humdrum life of yours?”

I took in a deep breath. “I was supposed to get married yesterday.”

Ano looked at me and cocked his head. “And you bailed, didn’t you?”

“Yep. I sure did.”

“Good for you. You know I never liked that little weasel. Come inside and I’ll make us some herbal tea.”

“I’ll make it, dear,” Lonnie spoke. “The two of you go sit down and talk.”

He led me out the patio door, and we took seats in the lounge chairs that faced the water.

“So, you finally decided it was time to go find yourself.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. I just walked away from the only life I’d ever known.”

“How does it feel?”

“It feels great, but also a little scary.”

“Are you questioning yourself for leaving?”

“No. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

“Good. It’ll make your journey a little easier. But I will warn you, Jillian, in order to continue on with your journey, you need to become fearless of what you may discover and how your life will change.”

“I know. I understand that.” I looked down.

“What you find out about yourself will be with you forever and there will be no escaping it.”

“Here you are,” Lonnie spoke as she handed us our tea.

“Thank you, Lonnie.” I smiled.

“Thank you, my love.” Ano took hold of his wife’s hand and kissed it.

They had the kind of relationship that I’d always dreamed of. Every time I visited them growing up, their bond seemed stronger. They had the kind of love that was rare. Unlike my parents, who were at each other’s throats 24/7.

“You two are really something special.” I smiled at Ano.

He reached over and placed his hand on mine. “You, my friend, will have a love like ours someday.”

“I hope so.” A small smile crossed my lips.

“You will. You’re a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. I want you to remember one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Your journey won’t be complete until you make peace with those who love you.”

“I can never go back there, Ano.” I looked at the water.

“You can and you will. You say that now, but once you get further along and become more aware of who you truly are, you’ll know it’s the right thing to do. You’ve come a long way since the day I found you hiding in that cave when you were just ten years old, but this time, I’m not convincing you to go back. That’s something you need to do on your own and on your own terms. You’ll know when the time is right. Sometimes you need to get lost to be found.”

After having dinner with the family, it was time for me to head back to the hotel. As I was in my suite, pouring a glass of wine, there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see Drew standing there.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He smiled.

“Come on in.”

As soon as he stepped through the door, I looked down the hall.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Where’s Jess?”

“She’s up in the room. I saw you come back to the hotel and I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

“Oh. Okay. What’s up? Do you want some wine?” I asked as I picked up my glass.

“No, thank you. If by chance you run into me and Jess, could you please not mention that we ran into each other today and the whole paddle board thing?”

“Why?” I asked with a twisted face.

Drew placed his hands in his pockets. “She’s a very jealous person and she would take it the wrong way.”

“Sure. I won’t mention it.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” I grinned.

Removing his hand from his pocket, he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I should get going.”

“Enjoy the rest of your evening,” I spoke.

“You too.” Walking to the door, he stopped and turned around. “Did you have a nice visit with your friend?”

“I did. Thanks for asking.”

He gave me a small smile as he opened the door and walked out. I stood there, biting down on my bottom lip. He seemed stressed. Maybe I was imaging things. No. He had a stressed look on his face and it made me wonder what was going on.