The Ex-Wife (16 page)

As soon as I got off the air, I walked into the lobby and Aaliyah was there. She said, “You OK, Sister?”

“Yeah, you didn’t tell Ma, did you?”

“Nah. I didn’t tell anyone. As soon as I heard your intro, I dropped the girls off to Mom and headed right down here. I knew
you were hurt; I could hear it in your voice.”

I hugged her. “Thanks, Sister.”

“You know I’m here for you.”

“Yeah, I know. I just had a really rough morning, and to come in here and deal with this…it just threw me.”

She laughed. “Yeah, but you’re strong. This too shall pass.”

“Yeah, after I get a divorce.”

Her neck snapped back. “Ayana, noooooo.”

I gave her the no-bullshit look. She said, “Wait, Cameron is a good guy and you know it. I’m certainly convinced.”

“Why are you so convinced?”

“When you first started seeing him, I asked anybody who was somebody about him and all I heard were good things. This is just
an obstacle.”

I told her about how he’d snapped about the furniture. She said, “Honey, all men snap when they’re under pressure. You just
have to gauge when you should or shouldn’t challenge them.” I laughed and she shook her head. “I think a wise psychologist
told me that.”

“Theory is one thing. Reality is completely different.”

“Yeah, but the advantage that you have is that you know all of this. You just have to put it into play. Imagine all the women
out here like me who have to figure it out for themselves. Some people learn a day late and a dollar short of a good guy.”

As we walked out of the station, I noticed Cam parked outside waiting for me. Aaliyah said, “Go talk to your man, girl. I
just came here to have your back.”

“Thanks, Sister.”

Aaliyah walked to the car with me to speak to Cam. He jumped out of the car smiling. He hugged Aaliyah. Cam joked, “Y’all
are definitely a package deal. You upset one then you gotta deal with the other, huh?”

Aaliyah laughed. “Yeah, ask Stan. He’ll tell you. When I’m mad, she is too, and vice versa. So don’t play with us, Cam.”

He ran his hand down my face. He was speaking to Aaliyah, but didn’t take his eyes off me. “I’m not. I know your sister is
a blessing and I respect that.”

“And get that wild animal in check before I have to put her in the zoo.”

“You got it.”

He pulled me to him and hugged me tight. He whispered in my ear, “I will never hurt you. OK?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Aaliyah said, “A’ight, y’all. Ayana, call me if you need me.”

Cam gave Aaliyah a handshake. “I love it,” he said, smiling.

I gave Aaliyah a hug and she got in her car and drove off, leaving Cam and me in the parking lot alone.

He said, “Let’s go home and have a quiet evening alone.”

When we got there, away from all the noise and negativity, I didn’t question why I was with him. In fact, I couldn’t imagine
being without him. He held me until it was all better and I was more than prepared to battle the haters.

I
n a million years, I would never have imagined that Cam would turn out to be this much of an asshole. I felt like he wasn’t
the man I’d known. I refused to pack any of Caron’s clothes. I didn’t give a damn whether Cam had bought them. Since I wasn’t
voluntarily giving him up, I didn’t think it was fair. If they wanted him, let them restock his wardrobe and everything else.
I let him put a few toys in his backpack only because he pleaded. I tried to assure him that he was only going for the summer.

“Now that Dad is married again, does that mean I have a new mommy?” he asked.

I pressed hard on the brakes and looked at him. “Hell no! I’m your only mother. You hear me?”

He nodded his head and I repeated, “You hear me?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

The thought that he would be living with another woman brought tears to my eyes. “You OK?” he asked.

“Listen, Caron. I am your mommy and I love you. Nobody can replace me. Nobody.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“And you call her Ms. Ayana. Don’t ever call her Mommy and nothing like Mommy. OK?”

“You think she’s nice?”

I ignored him because I didn’t think it was healthy for me to tell him what I thought of her. I figured I should let him make
his own determination. One thing I knew for sure was that Cam loved Caron without limit and wouldn’t let anyone harm him.
So I wasn’t necessarily worried about that.

What bothered me most about the situation was that in thirty days my child support would cease. Plus, Caron was my primary
hold on Cam and if he took my baby and swept him up into his own little world with his new wife, I would just be background
noise. A part of me wanted Ayana to be good to my baby, but another part of me wanted Caron to hate her. I was torn about
whether I should plant seeds to make him hate her or not.

I pulled into the police station. Cam and Ayana were already sitting in the lot. My heart sank and I suddenly hit the brakes
before turning into a parking space. Anxiety smothered me and my heart started beating faster. I began taking deep breaths
to calm myself. Then anger crept in. I wanted to jump out of the car and start swinging a bat at both Cam and Ayana. They
were out to hurt me. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t understand. The sheriff told them to stay back as he approached me.

I finally stepped out of the car. “So what, you’re just going to pull him out of the car and give him to these thieves?”

“We’re hoping to do this in a peaceful fashion, miss,” the sheriff said.

Caron opened his car door, excited to see Cam because it had been months. My eyes shot to Caron. “Didn’t I tell you to stay
in the car?”

“But I thought you said—”

“Caron, close that door.”

He sat back and the sheriff touched my shoulder nicely. “I know this is hard. It’s hard for any mother. But look at it like
this: it’s America, you can always appeal a decision and change things. But today, we are going to hand him over to Mr. and
Mrs. Small.”

He spoke very gently and kindly to me. He looked in my eyes and made me feel respected, as if he understood, not like everyone
else in the situation who had treated me like the dirty gum on the ground.

“You think it’s a possibility I can get my son back?”

He touched my shoulder again. “It’s a long process but you have to keep fighting. You ready?”

I nodded.

“Does he have any luggage or other personal belongings?”

“No, sir, just what he has on and a backpack.”

He didn’t question why that was and I wondered if it was typical with parents forced to hand over their children. I walked
to the passenger-side back door and opened it. Caron peeped his head out with a big cheesy grin. My eyes filled up. He said,
“Mommy, it’s OK. I’m coming back.”

I nodded. I had made him think this was temporary but to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure. Cam had married his quack psychologist
and I was certain she could find a bunch of her colleagues to prove that I wasn’t mentally stable. This whole situation had
me feeling dizzy and helpless, like I wasn’t protected by the court system.

The sheriff said, “Say bye.”

Caron sprinted to Cam. “Daddy!”

Cam picked him up and swung him around and Caron laughed loudly. I stood there staring at Ayana, who was smiling at Caron
and Cam. I thought about yanking her weave out but I knew I’d be locked up and I wasn’t down for that. The sheriff went over
to them and said something and they got back into the car and pulled out of the parking lot, leaving me standing there with
tears streaming down my face.

The sheriff noticed that I was paralyzed and walked back in my direction. “That’s your only?” I nodded as my lips trembled.
“It’ll be OK. You submitted your appeal yet?” I shook my head. “Make sure you do that ASAP.”

As he headed back into the building, I said, “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

He turned. “Yes, you need my phone number.”

I laughed at his flirtation. “Nah, actually I wanted to know if you think I should change attorneys for the appeal.”

He shrugged. “I’m not sure. It all depends on what judge you get on a particular day. It’s a gamble, but one worth taking.”

“Thanks.”

He handed me his card and said, “If you have any questions, just let me know.”

We both started laughing because he was clearly coming on to me. I looked at the card while I sat in my car. He was rather
attractive and I had been so caught up in handing Caron over that I’d pretty much ignored his advances, but as I played the
tape back in my mind, it was obvious that he was interested.

I went to work afterward and when I walked in, there were flowers at my station. Momentarily I imagined it was the sheriff
but that would have been too fast. I quickly yanked the card out and they were from Tayshawn.

I looked over at him and smiled. “You love me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.”

“I love you too, boo,” I said as I hugged him.

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m just glad you’re back in the A. I sure missed your crazy ass.”

“I missed you too.”

Tayshawn didn’t even mention my having to give up Caron. He knew this was the day, but he also knew that it would hurt too
bad to talk about it. You can’t buy a friend like that.

C
aron was a charming little boy and seemed to adjust almost instantly. I knew it was a temporary adaptation. He would shortly
begin to wonder if this arrangement was permanent and why his normal routine was being interrupted. While the common saying
that kids are resilient is true, they also fail to interpret situations on an adult level, which often leads to the wrong
interpretation. Then they get older and their childhood interpretations result in negative behavior. I tried to tell Cam that
it was important that we explain everything to Caron.

Cam immediately disputed my thoughts. He told me that I might be a psychology expert but he was the expert in Caron. It was
clear that was his opinion and it wasn’t going to change. It was unfortunate that he refused to listen to someone with all
the knowledge in the situation. I wondered if he’d ever listen to me when it came to Caron. I wasn’t sure, but what I was
positive about was that I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. I didn’t plan on arguing with him daily about what I knew to be
right.

After we picked Caron up, we headed to Cam’s house in Buckhead to pack up some of his things. When we got out of the car,
Caron asked, “Do you live here now too?”

I looked at Cam to see if he was going to tell Caron now that we had a new home. Cam just smiled.

“We’ll all be living together, but not in this house,” I said uncomfortably.

“In the house my mommy lives in?”

Cam finally rescued me and said, “No, remember I told you we were going to get a new house with a basketball court?”

Caron squinted and pretended to be thinking hard. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, that’s where we’ll all be living.”

“Cool,” Caron said excitedly.

It concerned me that Cam didn’t want to tackle real issues with Caron. He just wanted Caron to be ecstatic about moving in
with him, because the first thing he mentioned about the new house was the basketball court. His approach made me uncomfortable.

We all walked into the house. You could almost tell that Cam hadn’t been there since the last time he’d had Caron, which was
nearly three months ago. He told Caron to pack up his games. Caron had a Wii, an Xbox, and a DS. He gathered up everything
and began throwing items into a duffel bag. “Does he have clothes here?” I asked.

“A few, but I think we’re going to have to go to the mall.”

“Are you going to pack up what he has?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

The way he responded left me feeling like he didn’t want to include me in this. As if
he
was getting his son, not
we
. I felt a little betrayed, but I decided to let him soak up the joy of reuniting with Caron. I didn’t want to rain on that.
My lips were sealed and I wasn’t going to comment about anything unless he asked. I went into Cam’s office and downloaded
the book that I had been working on since we met. I figured that instead of giving Cam advice, I would type my thoughts for
people who cared about what I had to say. It had been weeks since I’d opened the document. After Cam proposed, I’d gotten
a sixty-day extension from my publisher. It seemed like that time had flown by and I was under the gun again. As I scanned
the pages and realized there were so many other topics to cover, I felt overwhelmed. I knew I would need to request another
extension.

Finally they were all ready to leave with a duffel bag filled with game systems and a backpack carrying Caron’s MacBook and
DVDs. I only observed and wondered if Cam and Yasmin ever forced him to do anything besides what he wanted to do.

I wanted to stop by my condo to pick up mail that had been transferred. Because I had rerouted my mail to two separate addresses
in the same week, a lot of my stuff was being misdirected to the condo. No one had rented the place yet and we’d subsequently
dropped the price. I didn’t have to pay any bills with Cameron so it wasn’t killing me to pay the mortgage, but I preferred
not to pay for an empty place if I didn’t have to. Cam pulled up in front of the building to let me out.

I stopped in the mail room before heading up. There was nothing in the unit, but since the vandalism, I always checked to
be sure nothing was wrong. When I got to the front door there was a letter taped to the door. It was from the same law firm
that had left a certified slip in my mailbox. Suddenly I was confused and anxious to see what this was about. I opened the
door and quickly ripped open the envelope and began to read.

It stated that I owed a property management company eighteen thousand dollars. The company was claiming that I had signed
a one-year lease, stayed for two months, and never paid any rent. I assumed this was a mistake having to do with my apartment
until I noticed the property was located in Charlotte, North Carolina. What the hell? I quickly dialed the attorney.

When the receptionist picked up, I immediately began explaining that there must have been a mix-up. She transferred me to
an attorney. He was adamant that I had signed a lease in May and ditched the place as soon as an eviction was about to occur.
I was disputing him when it dawned on me that the dates mentioned coincided with Yasmin’s disappearance and return.

“I’ve obviously been a victim of identity theft. I have never lived or worked in North Carolina. I have no reason to sign
a lease. I’m not exactly sure what this leasing company did to confirm the tenant’s identification, but it obviously wasn’t
enough. I have no intention of paying this.”

“Ms. Blue, I understand, but I hear the same thing every day. At this time, with the information we have, you have not given
me any reason to believe this debt doesn’t belong to you. We have every intention of continuing with the debt collection process.”

I gasped. Cam was calling repeatedly on the other line. Every time he hung up he’d call right back. My head was spinning.
“First of all, I need a copy of the lease and the rental application. Is it possible for you to fax it to me?”

He agreed, and I hung up the phone pissed off and wanting to strangle Yasmin. I felt like I was in a twilight zone. I stood
there in my empty condo and wondered why this was all happening to me. Cam as a single entity was everything I’d ever dreamed
of, but his past baggage was getting too heavy. I wanted to just drop it in hopes that all this drama would disappear if I
gave him back to her. I held my phone in my hand wondering if I should call Aaliyah or Mandy. I certainly didn’t want to bring
all this energy into the car with Caron and Cameron, but I did want to talk about it. I’d have to censor my conversation when
I got in the car with Cam. And I wasn’t sure what kind of roads my mind would take if I called one of my friends. I paced
back and forth, breathing deeply, meditating. My phone startled me.

“Hey, babe,” I said nervously.

“Whatchu doing in there?”

“I got this letter from an attorney claiming I signed a lease to a property and didn’t pay the rent. Now they are trying to
sue me for an entire year’s rent.”

“That by itself is illegal. For them to get an entire year they would have to prove they weren’t able to lease it after you
left.”

“The point is that I never signed this lease, Cam,” I snapped.

“Yeah, baby. I got it. Don’t worry. Just c’mon down. We’ll call my attorney when you get here.”

My heart was beating rapidly. I wanted to cry. I knew that I could prove the renter wasn’t me, but why was I dealing with
this? What was the purpose? I couldn’t find the answers. I was agitated. I’d gone from mistress to vandalism victim to car-theft
victim to child thief, and now to property squatter, in a little over three months. I wanted out. I wanted to pack up my shit
and move from our sprawling estate into my fourteen-hundred-square-foot condo.

I walked out of the building. Steam was probably rising from my ears as Cam unlocked the doors. Caron smiled at me and said,
“I thought you got lost.”

I smiled. “Let me read the letter,” Cameron said. He looked it over. “The address is in North Carolina.”

“Me and Mommy went to North Carolina for a break,” Caron said.

A sudden silence swept through the car. Cam had just figured out what I already knew. Yasmin had somehow stolen my identity.
Cam’s jaw muscle began to pop. “We’ll talk when we get home.”

I wanted so badly to shout, “I’m leaving!” Instead I said, “I’m pressing charges.”

“You should,” he said hesitantly.

“I need you to stop by my office. I have to get the fax from the attorney.”

He agreed and didn’t ask any questions. We drove there in silence and I imagined that Caron figured he’d said something wrong,
because he played with his DS in the back of the car silently. I was preoccupied with one of his mother’s crazy stunts. I
wanted to be kind to him but every time I looked in the backseat, I saw her. I saw her anger. I saw her jealousy and I hated
it. How was I supposed to love a child who came from a woman like that? I’d counseled many people and told them love was a
choice, but as I sat there in this adverse predicament, my emotions were overpowering my intellect.

Cam pulled up in front of my office and when I opened the door, he touched my arm. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”

I walked into the office and there seemed to be an extra-strong eucalyptus scent. I turned on the lights and walked into my
therapy room. The lights were already on. That was strange. I hadn’t left the lights on and I knew for sure that the receptionist
hadn’t. I wondered who had been there. Then I thought maybe I
had
left the lights on. Everything was moving so rapidly, I wasn’t sure of anything these days. I walked over to the fax machine
and picked up the papers. The entire application had been completed in handwriting that certainly wasn’t mine. My Social Security
number was on there and I felt sick. I felt nauseous. Just before heading to the front door, I turned the alarm on and headed
out.

A flashlight was pointed in my eyes as I lay on a gurney. Cam was standing over me. The paramedic was saying, “Ayana, can
you hear me?” He kept repeating it and I was confused as to where I was and how I’d gotten here. “What’s your name?”

“Ayana, Ayana Blue.”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Two.” I looked at Cam and asked, “What’s going on?”

“You fainted as you were leaving the office.”

I felt overwhelmed and confused. “Wait.”

One of the paramedics said, “Just relax, ma’am. We need to take your vitals.”

“Cam?”

“Just calm down, Ayana.”

This thing was overwhelming me and I couldn’t rationalize the situation any longer. They took my pressure and checked my pulse.
Everything was fine but they decided to take me into the hospital just to be safe. They claimed my heartbeat had been really
faint while I was out. Good relationships don’t include all this drama. Cam was a good person, but the relationship was not
healthy.

Cam dropped Caron off at his older sister’s house and came to the hospital with me. By the time he got there, they had done
my blood work and we were waiting for the results.

He could probably see the finality in my eyes when he walked through the door. Before I could say anything, he said, “I know
you didn’t sign up for this and I was probably selfish to think I could have a peaceful, happy relationship.”

“I don’t think you’re selfish to want that, but obviously you have an irrational person on your hands and I’m not sure I can
do this anymore.”

He stepped closer to my bedside and grabbed my hand. “I don’t think it should end this way. We don’t have problems. All of
our problems are external to me and you.”

“But they are an extension of you. She’s done all of this because of you. What do you think she’s going to do now that Caron
is with us? She’s lost you and him. Why would it end? It’s only going to get worse. I don’t want to wait around to see what
else she’s capable of.”

“You’re just going to throw our vows away?”

“For peace…yes, I am.”

He leaned over and hugged me tightly. “Ayana, I really want to be with you. I want this to work, but I understand how you
feel. I understand that being harassed isn’t what you deserve. Let’s think about our options. Maybe we can hire a private
detective or file charges against her. We can’t quit so fast.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“No, it’s not easy. It’s what I feel. I don’t want to lose you, especially not for an insane person.”

The nurse came in to give us the results of the blood work. She asked if I would mind Cam staying while she discussed the
results and I told her I didn’t.

“Well, Ms. Small, we know why you fainted.”

“You do?”

“Yes, congrats are in order.”

My eyebrow rose, as I was lost. Cam began to smile. I said, “Huh?”

“You’re pregnant.”

I could have fainted again. Instead I lay there with a baffled look on my face, wondering who was playing all these tricks
on me. Why now? Why, when I’d finally made up my mind this was over? Why? I visualized banging my head against the wall. What
the hell had I been thinking of? How the hell had I gotten caught up in this situation? I wanted to hide under a rock and
never come back out.