The Ex Trials (Falling for Autumn #3) (16 page)

Chapter Seventeen

“Did you know that although the cave was discovered in the 1700s, most of it remained unexplored until the 1970s?” Autumn whispered.

Blake patted her knee affectionately although from the glazed look in his eyes, I could tell he was likely bored. He wouldn’t voice his disinterest though, especially since Autumn was finally upbeat again after a disastrous couple of days.

Our group was shoved together in a small tram and traveling down into the depths of Harrison’s Cave. I could tell some of the men were disinterested in the tour, but I was amazed along with Autumn. There were a handful of beautiful caves back in Pennsylvania, but they paled in comparison to the natural formations and waterfalls inside Harrison’s Cave.

The seating in the tram had turned out to be fairly random with me winding up next to Blake, Autumn and Delia. Lexi, Cole, Evan and Levi were in the row behind us. As difficult as it was, I had only turned around a handful of times to catch Cole’s eye. I felt like we had developed our own language and I could tell exactly where his mind was headed as he shot a sexy smile my way. It would be a challenge to keep my knees firmly together during the two days we had left on the vacation.

Blake leaned my way as the tour guide droned on about facts regarding the cave. Autumn was enraptured and leaned forward, seemingly hanging on every word. Blake whispered, “Should I be concerned? I’ve heard that there are modern cave people. They live in the side of mountains, cook over fires and dig holes in the ground for their bathrooms.”

I held back a snort. “You’ve tasted Autumn’s cooking, right? I don’t think the girl would survive without a microwave.”

He let out a small laugh. His expression turned serious as he kept his tone low. “Autumn warned me about Justin. Anything I should know about?”

My eyes widened as Blake’s question caught me by surprise. “How did you know she was talking about me?” I whispered back.

Blake’s green eyes flashed with regret as he admitted, “Process of elimination. If he hit on my sister or Autumn, he would know I’d break both his arms. And since Lexi has been with Finn forever…”

“This is awkward for me,” I said, staring down at his shoes.

Blake patted my arm. “Don’t feel awkward on my behalf. He’s not someone I would even call a friend. He’s buddies with a few of the other guys on the team, but I think he’s a snake. But there’s politics in football. As the quarterback, I have to act like everyone on the team is all part of one big happy family. Otherwise, there is no trust on the field.”

I gave him a rueful look. “What were you saving that line for an ESPN sound bite?”

He smothered his laugh. After a second, he continued in a serious voice, “Look, you’re Autumn’s best friend and I can’t tell you how often she’s told me the many ways you had her back. If you need me to take care of Justin, I’m on it.”

I could have hugged him at the moment. Autumn had chosen a good one and I had no worries about her future as Mrs. Blake Preston. “As long as I don’t have to see the slime ball ever again, I’m happy.”

“Consider it done,” Blake said, relaxing back further in his seat. He still kept his voice down enough to ensure our conversation remained private. “I think he shit himself when I uninvited him. I hung up on him after he told me he was sending me the bill for his plane ticket and hotel room.”

Without waiting for a reply, he turned back to listen to the tour guide. Blake’s words uncoiled another bit of the tension that had been living inside me for months. I made the right decision by opening up to Lexi and Autumn. I had confidence Blake would keep his promise and guarantee I never would have the constant fear of running into Justin again. If Justin didn’t exist in my world, he was harmless.

Being deep inside a cavern in a beautiful tropical country filled me with renewed faith. I’d been stuck in suspended animation since January. Not able to look forward, trapped by my regrets in the past. I didn’t have to be defined by one night. I could move on and find my way to love once again.

The tram stopped in front of a cluster of stalagmites growing out of the cavern floor, clustered in tight rows. I peered around Blake, reached over him and got a hold of Autumn’s hand. I gave it a quick squeeze. “This is incredible.”

“I know! I feel like we’ve found a hidden world. It’s so romantic. I could picture having our wedding down here,” she said with a dreamy sigh.

Evan guffawed from behind us. “Romantic? All I see is rows and rows of dildos.”

Autumn spun around, affronted. Before she could say anything, Levi's and Cole’s raucous laughter silenced her. I turned to Cole and narrowed my eyes. He gave a shrug. “What? He can be occasionally funny.”

“They should rewrite the brochure,” Levi added helpfully. “Come See the Stalagmites of Harrison’s Cave: Nature’s Dildos.”

“I hate you all,” Autumn announced with an exaggerated pout.

“Hey, I thought I was invited to a bachelor party. Pussy talk and seeing titties is a given,” Evan said and ran a hand through his faux-hawk. He added slyly, “Blake didn’t provide any strippers, but Lexi did flash us all when that wave hit her in Saint Lucia.”

“Just what I lived for. To find my way into your spank bank,” Lexi said drily.

The tour guide gave our group an evil glare as we all doubled over in laughter. At the moment, I had the greatest sense of belonging. I was with my family. We were silly, imperfect and I loved each and every one of them forever.

I’d never been one to form attachments. My father was a background player in my life and I’d seen my share of stepfathers and stepsiblings come and go. But the people surrounding me at that moment would never leave me. I looked back at Cole and he sent me a sly wink. I grinned back, knowing for sure that the strong sense of belonging I had wasn’t mine alone.

Chapter Eighteen

Stealthily, Cole pulled me into a quiet crevice of the cave as we exited the tram car. He pushed back a lock of my hair, cupped my cheeks and tilted his head as his eyes stayed trained on my lips.

“Have I told you in the last hour how gorgeous you look today?”

I pushed him playfully on the chest. “No. But feel free to pet my ego as often as you like.”

He bent in close and brushed his lips against mine. His stubble scratched my cheeks slightly and I loved the coarse texture against my skin. I had assumed Cole had left his razor at home since his scruff had grown out. The rough-around-the-edges rocker look had my panties melting.

“Any chance of getting some time with you tonight?”

“I could probably sneak out late night after we go to the bars. Autumn wants to go to the martini night at the piano bar,” I explained.

“Sneak out? Are we in a clandestine relationship?”

I gave him a helpless look. “Yes and no. I don’t want to steal Autumn’s thunder. I’m not keeping it a secret, but I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. Causing a scene would be like how my cousin Antonia got engaged at her sister’s wedding.”

“But it’s a big deal?”

“Yes,” I breathed. “I am so crazy happy right now. You have no idea.”

I nuzzled into his chest as his arms tightened around my back. The night before had left me spent. I had cried and hit an emotional low. But I realized I needed to revisit the Atlantic City night. I needed to talk about it and not let the wounds fester. I still had to sort out my feelings about Justin, but the night had also given me clarity. I needed Cole. I wanted him and I wasn’t going to let him go ever again.

“I’m happy too,” he said and kissed the top of my head gently. “We just have to be honest with each other, Casey. Always. If you’re feeling trapped or freaked out. Whatever. Just tell me and we can work through it.”

My smile faltered as a portion of my happiness evaporated. He had every reason to say the words he did, but they still stung. They still pierced my heart. His words were also a reminder I still needed to tell him everything.

“Of course,” I said roughly into his chest. My secrets banged against their cages, demanding to be set free. But I couldn’t yet. I had to tell Cole when the time was right. Not trying to clumsily explain something within minutes that I couldn’t even wrap my head around.

“Have fun today,” I said with a slight quiver in my voice.

“You too,” he said. “Blake’s friend Darien has a list of local bars he wants to check out. Blake is supposed to do a shot and beer at each, so we may be dragging his six foot, two-hundred pound-ass back to the boat.”

“Yikes. I’ll keep that tidbit from Autumn.”

“I guess the other football dudes that were supposed to come to Barbados bailed last minute,” Cole said.

I involuntarily shuddered at his words. I tried to read his inflection. Was he fishing? Or was Cole innocently noting that Justin and company suddenly decided not to come on the trip?

“Not that I have much to talk with these guys about. Every time I call their sport American football, they look at me like I’m a freak of nature,” he scoffed.

“Well, since we don’t live in
Italia
, I’m not surprised by their reaction,” I said.

“Just think about how the games work. Doesn’t football make a hell of a lot more sense than
soccer
?”

I slugged his arm. “Okay, champ. You better relax before you go drinking with a group of f
ootball
players. Stick to safe subjects. Talk about the weather. Or tell them about your music. Maybe they could open doors for you. Maybe they could tweet a link to the Trojan Jedi website.”

He shuddered with revulsion. “Shit, what are you going to suggest next? I show them some clips of the band on my phone. I’m not like those sellouts who carry around their
portfolios
to show everyone their crappy work.”

I pursed my lips at him. “First of all, the difference is your music isn’t crappy. Secondly, I’m fine with you staying poor and undiscovered. From what I hear, it builds character.” I kissed him on the lips. “Catch up with you later.”

“You’ve been my girlfriend again for less than twenty-four hours and now I have the pressure to get famous,” he mumbled. “Fuck. I’m a legend in so many other ways, baby.”

“You have your mind in the gutter way too much. Now go pimp your music,” I said and gave him an overly cheerful wave. As I hurried to catch up with my friends, I felt a bounce in my step. My relationship with Cole could be likened to a boat trip. After hitting rough seas, it was smooth sailing from here on out. My world hadn’t crumbled by admitting the truth to my friends. They’d been supportive while also making me question if I had misconstrued everything that had happened that night. Cole was a good man and he would be decent when I finally let him in.

***

“Do we have to leave? Because I think I could stay here forever,” Delia moaned from her beach chair.

I had to agree. The Barbados beach was gorgeous with perfect white sandy beaches and the waves lapping lazily against the shores. After separating from the guys, we had grabbed a quick bite before locating an ideal beach spot. A few beach bars were nearby, so we’d been steadily sipping on drinks heavily laced with rum.

“I’ll be at the restaurant again in less than seventy-two hours working,” I complained.

“I’ll be moving next week,” Lexi said, giving me sad eyes. “And Autumn will be married before the summer’s over.”

I mirrored her expression and stuck out my lower lip. “The gang is breaking up.”

“Stop,” Autumn admonished. “You’re going to make me cry.”

“Honestly, the three of you are ridiculous. My brother is just marrying Autumn, not chaining her in the basement. And Lexi is moving to Philly, not to North Korea. You hop on the highway and you’re there in twenty minutes tops.”

“You’re taking away the emotional punch of our
Gilmore Girls
moment, Delia,” I said.

She stuck out her tongue at me. “I was only trying to say we’re all incestuous enough that we will probably be stuck with one another for the long haul. Autumn is about to marry my brother. I’m dating Levi and you’re in
lurve
with his brother.”

“Hey, but where’s that leave me?” Lexi said, adjusting the top of her black swimsuit.

“Sorry, Lex. But there is one more Caldwell brother left…” Delia said, lowering her sunglasses before giving Lexi a lecherous wink.

“Oh hell no. I’m very happy with Finn, thank you very much. I become worried I’ll catch something from Evan if I even brush by him,” Lexi said, twisting her lips together in disgust.

I started to laugh, but stopped suddenly as I glanced toward the bar. For a second, I had thought I saw a recognizable coiffed blond head floating through the crowd. Sitting up straighter, I tried to scan the bar thoroughly from my vantage point. My pulse started to race and I hoped my eyes were just playing tricks on me.

“I think I’ll get another drink,” I said although I had only taken a couple of small sips. As I pulled on the blue sundress I brought as a cover up, I cast a few more uneasy glances at the bar.

My friends didn’t seem to notice my sudden mood change. Delia had picked up a magazine and was casually thumbing through the pages. She held up an empty plastic cup at her side. “Get me another vodka and cranberry. And tell that bartender if he puts cheap vodka in my drink again, I’ll personally go over there and throw it back at him.”

Autumn gave me an apologetic look, but I brushed her off. Delia was like a mini-me. I remember being the same not too long ago. She wasn’t as difficult as she came across. She was good at pretending like I was. Being hard helped all the pain bounce off.

After slipping on my sandals, I walked through the sand toward the bar. Scoping out the entire bar area for a possible figment of my imagination wasn’t ideal, but I had to do it. I wouldn’t be able to relax for the rest of the day if I didn’t confirm whether or not I had indeed spotted Justin.

Silently, I argued with the pessimist inside of me. He wasn’t on the island. Blake had called him and he had cancelled his flight and hotel. He wouldn’t just show up uninvited and risk the wrath of his quarterback. The blond man I spotted was probably only sporting a passing resemblance. I was obviously projecting since Justin had been a phantom for most of the vacation.

I placed the empty drinks on the counter while dragging my eyes from one end of the bar to another. After several passes, I felt my shoulders relax. Why had I for one second thought Justin was there? I didn’t suddenly have my own stalker. Even if Justin had the balls to show up in Barbados, he wouldn’t come seeking me out. He’d find whatever bar the men had ended up at and confront Blake. I wasn’t anything more to Justin than another entry in his playbook.

I signaled to the bartender and she took my drink order. I groaned as I realized I hadn’t the foresight to bring my wallet when marching over to the bar. “I’m really sorry, but I’ll be back in a sec. I left my wallet over by my beach chair.”

The bartender opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, a fifty-dollar bill was tossed on the counter in front of me. I recognized the deep bass voice immediately. “I got this. Keep the change.”

My body started to tremble at his nearness and I tried to force my features into an alarmed expression to clue in the bartender at the horror I was feeling from Justin’s sudden appearance at the bar. But instead of female solidarity, she shoved the fifty into her bra and gave Justin a wink. His laughter sounded hollow as he leaned his elbows on the bar counter next to me. “I thought that was you, Casey. Where’s Preston? Cupcake texted me that they were heading here soon.”

I ground my teeth and promised to pummel Blake’s friend when I saw him. Cupcake was the linebacker, who was also the size of a semi that was on the cruise with us. “Blake’s not here and you better leave before he sees you.”

I finally forced myself to look Justin in the face. Instead of appreciating his handsomeness, I zeroed in on his flaws: the smattering of pimples on his forehead, his ears too big for his face. He wore a tight gray t-shirt that was far from ideal for the tropical weather. Sweat stains had already started to gather under his armpits.

“What’s up with him? Called me out of the blue and started rambling on about me being a dick. My ticket was non-refundable so he can suck my ass. I wasn’t being out a grand because he was in a pissy mood about his dad trash-talking him on TV.” Justin brushed an imaginary crumb off his shoulder.

Justin was mind-fucking me by the minute. Was he that self-involved he didn’t recognize I was the reason he’d been uninvited? I didn’t buy it. He was talking to me like we were friends. Like I should commiserate with him over Blake. I had walked on stage without my lines. I had no idea how to respond to him.

“Stay the hell away from me, Justin,” I finally managed and slammed my shoulder against him in order to move him out of the way. Before I could get far, he was circling my wrist with an iron grip.

“What crawled up your ass, Casey?”

I pulled my arm back and glared at him. “What do you think, Justin?” I demanded with biting sarcasm. “Has too many concussions wiped away the memory of the last time I saw you?”

“Oh shit,” he said and laughed uncomfortably. “Don’t hate me, but I completely forgot we hooked up. No hard feelings though. I can’t be girlfriended up. That’s not my thing.”

“You think I wanted to be your girlfriend. Are you insane? I can’t even remember what happened that night.”

My body started to tremble and I fought the instinct to run far away. I needed closure. I had to know what exactly happened while I blacked out. The time had come for me to put on my big girl pants and no longer pretend like the night never happened.

“Do you think I remember?” he scoffed. “No offense, but I’ve had a lot of ass between then and now. Less than an hour ago, the hotel maid was giving me a blow job.”

“Did I pass out before we had sex? Did I say yes to you?” I stood on my toes, getting in his face.

He grabbed me roughly by the shoulders and pushed me back down. Through gritted teeth, he hissed, “Will you keep your goddamn voice down? Are you fucking kidding me right now with this shit? You trying to make up some rape scenario so you can get your face plastered on
Us Weekly
?”

“Am I so far off-base? Because I blacked out and don’t even remember going to the hotel with you,” I said fiercely. “And how did I get so trashed? I only remember having four drinks.”

“You’re crazy,” he said scowling. “I’ve heard about girls like you. Girls who feel guilty for cheating on their boyfriends and make up some bullshit story about being forced into sex. Your legs were spread on my bed, that’s the only yes I needed.”

“You—" I started to yell.

“What’s going on?”

I didn’t want to turn around. Because my worst nightmare was happening. Justin and Cole were in the same place, sharing the same air. Cole was supposed to be far away, a safe distance where he couldn’t be polluted by Justin’s lies.