The Emerald Talisman (12 page)

Folding my hands over the wood, I
contemplated my next actions. Part of me wanted to keep it and the
other, to throw it off the cliff. My goal had been to get rid of
the past and leave it here, in the woods with the rest of my
demons. But I couldn’t. Too much had happened.

I picked up a sharp rock and carved the date
into the smooth side of the wood. And against my better judgment, I
carved a heart around the numbers. The pressure broke the piece
into two. I laughed. The break went straight down the middle of the
heart.

Transfixed, I gazed off into the woods while
holding the wood and took the letter from my pocket. The wind blew
the trees softly, bringing down large droplets of rain water as
though the forest was crying for me. The letter felt heavy in my
hand as I read it one last time. I thought I would cry, but I
didn’t. Instead, I gently folded the paper around one half of the
wooden pieces and threw it off the cliff while tucking the other
half in my pocket.

It soared through the air and disappeared out
of sight. At the same time, the wind whipped up and tousled my
hair. I held my breath, hoping for closure, finding disappointment
instead –the whole charade suddenly feeling anticlimactic. Then I
felt someone was coming down the trail so I quickly limped back
home afraid it would be someone I knew.

. . .

The next morning came and so did the sun.

For once, I actually wanted to go to school,
anything to give me a mental break. I planned to take Jo’s advice.
There had to be at least one guy at school that I could like. I
just wasn’t sure who. The idea seemed insurmountable, but I was
willing to try. I needed to do something.

Running late, I rinsed off my breakfast
dishes and rushed towards the door, happy I was driving myself
today.

“Hey,” Luke said while walking past me into
the kitchen sporting a bed-head hair-do. He deeply inhaled. “Is
that coffee?”

I turned around and stood in the doorway.
“You’re up kinda early?”

Luke scratched his head and filled up his
favorite coffee mug. “I have a job interview this morning,” he said
with a yawn.

“Really?”

“At Bic’s”

I continued to look confused.

“The auto parts store?” he said with a
sarcastic inflection. “I can get a discount if I work there.”

I knew there had to be a catch.

“Oooh,” I said and punched him in the arm
before heading out. “Good luck.”

He grimaced.

“Thanks.”

I walked across the lawn and reached in my
pocket for my cell phone to text Sam when I noticed a white piece
of paper folded up on the ground near my car door. I unlocked the
car, put all my junk inside, then fetched the note. My throat went
dry as I stared at the words written inside.

Was this note for me?

Baffled, I closed the note and looked around
even though I knew I was alone. Someone had written ‘I’m sorry’ in
scratchy masculine-looking lettering and left it unsigned. The
penmanship didn’t look familiar.

My mind raced and I quickly thought of who
could possibly owe me an apology. My cheeks turned bright red as I
imagined Nicholas gawking in the shadows while I threw the letter
over the cliff– the letter that revealed all my feelings. Did he
retrieve it? No. I would’ve felt it if someone was close by. I was
sure I was alone. It had to be someone else. Who else owed me an
apology? John maybe?

I got in my car and inconspicuously looked in
my mirrors feeling vulnerable. Nothing seemed strange or out of
place, but I was beginning to question my abilities. Someone could
be watching from far away. I folded up the note, shoved it in my
pocket and started my car.

The mental exercise to figure out the
anonymous note writer faded after I parked and actually walked to
class, free from my horrendous crutches. But I’d forgotten to tell
Sam the good news and she was waiting for me at the front of the
school.

“Where’s the crutches?” she asked when she
saw me.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. I meant to text
but...”

“Yeah, no call or text all weekend? What
gives?” Sam put her hands on her hips and acted annoyed.

The guilt of neglecting my best friend hit
me. All weekend, I’d spent my energy on myself and I’d not called
or texted once like I promised I would.

“Sorry. I forgot. I did get your text though.
Thanks.”

Sam let out a sigh. “I was worried. I thought
you fell into a deep depression.”

“No,” I said and rolled my eyes at her
exaggeration. “But I did make up my mind to move on. I’m done with
him, Sam. It’s over.”

I tried to sound convincing.

“That’s good to hear. Well, it’s not like I
could talk anyway. I was at Aunt Patrilda’s all weekend for a
family reunion. They don’t have cell service where she lives. I
felt completely cut off from society.”

We hurried to our lockers as Sam filled me in
on her boring weekend with her cousins. I had to tell her about my
pedicure experience. She couldn’t believe I’d let fish peck away at
my feet. I wanted to mention the weird apology note, but I didn’t
have enough time before she rushed off to change for P.E.
class.

Just before I turned to walk towards the gym,
I noticed someone’s ardent desires and reluctantly turned around.
My gaze fell on Justin, a geeky Sophomore with greasy brown hair
that rimmed the top of his glasses.

“Hi,” Justin said with a stutter.

Just my luck.

I sighed on the inside. It was obvious where
this awkward conversation was headed. Maybe if puberty had been
kinder on his pockmarked face, or he was a little taller, I might
possibly say yes to going to the dance if he asked, but his
feelings left me feeling rather violated.

“Hey,” I said with a straight face while
shutting my locker door.

“I, um – ”

A group of Junior cheerleaders walked by and
giggled, whispering to each other. I sensed their insecurity,
something I felt daily – more so from the popular kids than anyone.
Their cruel teasing was only a cover-up of the real truth of how
they viewed themselves deep inside.

“Justin,” I said, trying my hardest to
protect his ego. “I’m late for class. What do you need?”

His cheeks flushed and fear hit 7.0 on the
Richter scale.

“Oh, nothing.”

He took off down the hall.

Shaking Justin’s feelings off, I walked to
class and sat alone on the bleachers as my classmates filed in one
by one. Ms. Andrews split them up into teams to play volleyball. My
doctor’s note was good until the end of the week and I planned to
milk every day of it. And lucky for me, since the fields were
drenched from the rain, the guys were playing basketball indoors. I
shimmied down the bench inconspicuously, hoping Ms. Andrews
wouldn’t catch me so I could watch the boys play.

My eyes were drawn towards the new guy with
sandy blonde hair who just started school a few days ago – someone
more my type. I wondered why I hadn’t noticed his surfer physique
with broad shoulders and a strong upper body before today. He also
had impressive basketball skills.

His charisma was evident in his camaraderie
between the other players. But the real test would be if he was as
nice on the inside as he appeared on the outside; that was if we
ever met.

The distraction of watching the guys worked
and before I realized it, the bell rang. I took off, hoping to find
a warmer classroom in History. Being the first student to arrive, I
tried to act busy until Sam came and sat next to me. Mr. Marshall
was writing dates on the blackboard, preparing to review for our
test tomorrow. Since I’d been daydreaming in class all week, I’d
not taken any notes and stared at the unfamiliar topics on the
board. I thought my life was over, until I read
Open Note
Test
at the bottom. With relief and after my fingers defrosted,
I asked to borrow Sam’s notes.

“You going to the bonfire tonight?” she
whispered.

“Bonfire? I hadn’t heard about it.”

“Some of the Seniors on the football team are
getting together and Todd invited me to go,” she said, filled with
anxiety and excitement.

“Oh… I don’t know,” I said with apprehension,
imagining the overly amorous environment. “I… have a lot of
homework to do.”

Her sudden disappointment and fear told me
she wasn’t asking me to go, she
needed
me to go.

“Really? Can you work on it after
school?”

Her doe-like eyes were more than I could
bear.

“Okay. I’ll try,” I said, feeling the
atmosphere change in the classroom.

Mr. Marshall had stopped lecturing and the
silence was deafening. I looked up and met the source of the
invisible loathing I sensed. My cheeks grew flushed and I quickly
looked down and acted like I was writing, praying the silence would
stop. I was relieved when he started lecturing again.

Going to a senior bonfire sounded very
intimidating to me. I’d never been invited to one by that crowd
before. In the past, I figured I was overlooked because I wasn’t a
cheerleader, rich, or good looking enough. But that was fine with
me. Tonight though, I would be totally out of my element,
especially if Sam left me to be alone with Todd. The more I thought
about it, the more I regretted that I said I would go.

English and Chemistry were a blur and before
I knew it, it was time for lunch. My appetite came back and
something in the cafeteria smelled appetizing today. I scanned the
room to find Sam when I noticed the new guy standing at the end of
the line. My heart quickened at the thought of actually trying to
start a conversation with him.

I mustered up courage and walked quickly to
stand behind him before a chatty group of freshmen got there
first.

“Hi,” I said with a little smile.

He turned, flashing baby blue eyes at me and
my heart did flip flops.

“Hi,” he said, smiling back.

I noticed his perfectly straight and
incredibly white teeth. Close up, he was way cuter than from a
distance on the basketball court. His darling dimples, coupled with
his admiration of me, made my mouth feel like it was full of cotton
balls.

“Are you new here?” I asked with a squeak and
then felt stupid for asking such a dumb question.

“Yeah, I’m Phil.” He extended his hand to
shake mine. When we touched his free-spirited happy aura infused me
deeper and calmed my nervousness.

“Nice to meet you,” he said.

“I’m Julia… Julia Parker,” I gushed. “Did
you… just move here?”

“Yeah, from Los Angeles.”

“Really? I’m from Los Angeles too. What
part?”

“I’m from the Valley, but my Dad got
transferred, so we had to move.” His distress amplified. He must
have missed home. “Is the pizza any good?”

I was concentrating on his feelings and
missed the question.

“Pizza?” I fumbled. “Oh, it’s okay, I
guess.”

He grabbed a slice and winked. “I’ll know
soon enough.”

I followed in suit. I wanted to take a slice
of chocolate cake, but decided I should grab a banana instead.

“We used to live in the Valley too. Well,
when I was a kid. We moved to be closer to family. My Dad’s a
computer consultant,” I said, feeling comfortable to share. “I’m
not sure what that means, but he’s gone a lot. What does your dad
do?”

“My dad is an engineer. He builds computer
chips. Wasn’t too bad moving here. At least I’m still close to the
beach, but this school needs to loosen up.”

With his free hand, Phil leaned into me and
put his arm around my shoulder.

“Take that guy over there,” he whispered in
my ear. “He’s trying to score, but he’s doing it all wrong and
she’s not buying it.”

Brad, a sophomore, was a bit too loud and his
laughter a little too forced while talking to a pretty freshman I
knew he liked.

“If he’d just loosen up, talk to her like he
talks to his buddies, she’ll eat it up. Trust me.”

I smiled and nodded my head amazed at how at
home I felt under Phil’s arm. I found I didn’t want him to move it
away. I was disappointed when we got to the cash register and he
let me go to get his wallet.

“I’m getting hers and mine,” he told the
lady.

I blushed. I’d never had a guy buy my lunch
before.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. It was really nice to meet you,”
he said and he turned and walked in the other direction. “I’ll
catch you around.”

I just stood there and watched him go sit
with the guys he was hanging out with at P.E. class.

“He was cute, who is he?” Katie asked as I
walked up to our table at the other end of the cafeteria.

“Phil. He just moved here,” I said, a little
stunned, trying to make heads or tails of what just happened.

“What, no more… what’s his name?” Katie
snapped her fingers repetitively. “…Nicholas?”

I shot her a glare. She was the queen of
being fickle when it came to boys. How dare she question me when I
was just being friendly?

“I just said ‘hi’. It doesn’t mean
anything.”

“It looked a little bit more than that. It
looked like he bought your lunch.”

“A… loan. I’m paying him back,” I
stammered.

I finally understood why Sam kept her
feelings for Todd a secret. Nothing got past Katie, like a shark
she smelled blood and was in for all the gory details.

“Hmm… I wonder if Phil’s got a date to
homecoming,” she said and glanced in his direction.

Two senior cheerleaders hovered over him
flirting and it surprised me that I felt jealous.

“You have a date, why do you care?” I
snapped, feeling stupid I even took the time to talk to him.

“Not for me, for you. I figured since you
stopped talking about Nicholas, things didn’t work out. But it
looks like you’ve got some competition now.”

I stopped staring at Phil and looked down at
my pizza, which was cold. Somewhere, my appetite changed and my
free lunch mocked me.