The Edge of Forever (7 page)

“Yes, Blake. Please,” she whispered into his hair. He was so big, so muscular, and so very male that Poppy felt wholly feminine beneath him. She begged him for his words, for his touch, for his emotions. She wanted that from him, wanted him to break down his wall like she had.

He pushed up from her, one forearm braced on either side of her head, and looked down at her. The dark slashes of his eyebrows were knitted above his eyes, the look of deep concentration etched on his face. She certainly didn’t want to push him, just like he didn’t want to push her. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to do this.” Maybe this was a sign that what was happening between them wasn’t the best idea? Poppy went to roll out from under him, but Blake pressed his upper body flat on hers, keeping her motionless. “Blake?”

“I just…” He looked away, and the muscles in his jaw jumped beneath his flesh. “I’m afraid once we cross this bridge you’ll look back and regret it, regret your time with me.” He looked back at her, his heart on his sleeve. She cupped his strong jaw, knowing his fears were valid, because she had the same ones.

Poppy pushed herself up on her elbows and kissed the underside of his jaw. She nipped at the skin that was covered in his stubble. It was an intoxicating sensation, one that she wanted to feel all over her body. “Let’s take one day at a time.” When Poppy lay back down, she took Blake’s hand and placed it between her breasts. He braced himself on his other arm and stared down at where his hand took up the majority of her chest. “Can you feel that, Blake? Can you feel my heart beating?”

“Yeah, baby,” he whispered.

“You made it start beating again. I didn’t realize it until now, but every conversation we had, you made it come to life a little more each day.” Telling him all of this was scary as hell, but she needed to say it if she had any hope of moving forward.

Blake dragged his hand down the middle of her body, so slowly she thought she’d scream in frustration. He stopped right above her mound, stilling for just a second before he dipped his fingers into her folds. At that first touch fire raced through her, and she spread her legs wider. His thumb found her clit and rubbed it back and forth until awareness traveled through her, starting between her legs and working its way up her body. Her nipples tightened and drew up tight as blood rushed to them. Blake worked his middle finger into her, the creamy wetness of her arousal having the digit slip easily into her pussy.

“Yeah.”
He latched his lips onto her neck, licked and sucked at her skin until it felt abraded in a good way. “You’re so responsive.” He ran his tongue up her throat.
“So wet and tight.”
Her inner muscles clenched around his probing finger at his words. A groan came from him in response to her body’s reaction to his words. In and out he pumped into her, slow and steady and so damn good. With her eyes closed Poppy let herself just feel every little thing Blake did to her. Her senses were attuned to the little touches of his fingers on her breasts, to the scrape of his teeth on her collarbone, and to the thrusting motion of his hand between her thighs. He moved his head lower, trailing wet kisses along the top of her breasts before finally latching his mouth on an aching, hard nipple.

God, so good.
The wet sounds of his lips around her turgid flesh and his finger pumping in and out of her filled the room. All too soon he let go of her nipple and continued his downward path until his warm, humid breath brushed over her pussy. Adrenalin and endorphins rushed through her bloodstream, making her feel drugged with pleasure.

“Look at me, love. Watch what I’m doing to you.” She panted in and out, not getting enough air into her lungs. The sight of Blake between her splayed thighs, his hair like a raven’s wing, his eyes like a dark angel, did funny, wicked things to her. He kept his eyes on her as he removed his finger from her body and spread her lips wide. Her clit stood out obscenely from its hooded home, but even that couldn’t tear Blake’s eyes away from her. His tongue peeked out, and when the muscle met her swollen, saturated flesh, Poppy couldn’t hold her head up any longer. Ecstasy consumed her form just that small touch, but then something snapped inside of Blake. He went wild on her, fucking her pussy with his mouth like he couldn’t get enough, and sending her higher and higher into the hazy abysses that had been just out of reach for so long.

Poppy speared her hands into his hair and tugged on the strands. She pulled him closer to her pussy, needing him to deliver on his promise and devour her. This was the most she had felt in a very long time, and Poppy grew drunk on it.

Blake was relentless with his mouth. He sucked on her clit harder this time and added another finger. The fullness was a shock, but all too soon the coils of her orgasm wound tight and burst free, bathing her in the afterglow of pleasure that stole her eyesight and sucked the air form her lungs. She might have tightened her hands in his hair and curled her fingers into his scalp, but she couldn’t be sure because she floated away. The ground
left,
and the air stopped until she swirled in a mist of conscious awareness that tingled through her and left her senseless.

When she finally returned to the land of the living, Blake’s harsh, guttural groans filled her ears. He gave one last suck to her now oversensitive clit and moved back up her body. In the opalescent moonlight, the glossiness of her juices on his mouth had her pussy clenching with the need to feel him inside of her. Without thinking, Poppy grabbed Blake behind the back of the neck and brought his mouth to hers. She swiped her tongue along his lips, loving the harsh sound that came from his throat. The musky, sweet flavor of herself on his lips was a pleasant shock to her taste buds. For several moments Blake gave in and allowed her to explore his mouth, but then he pushed up and moved away. He didn’t make her wait long to know what he reached for. The sound of foil tearing fell across the silent room, mixing with their harsh breathing, and bringing a sense of eroticism to the night. He moved back on top of her a second later, his hot, hard length slipping through her folds once again.

Blake braced himself on one arm and looked down at her. He lifted his other hand and ran his thumb along the swell of her bottom lip.

“No more waiting, Blake. Please.” She whispered the last and arched her hip, causing his dick to slide a little harder against her pussy. A shock went through her at the way his lids dropped to half-mast, and a steamy look moved across his face. “I’ve been waiting for years.” And at that moment she realized she had.

“Poppy…” Blake reached between their bodies and gripped himself. He placed the crown of his erection at the entrance of her pussy and slipped inside. The broad head stretched her unused muscles. With every inch he sank into her, Poppy felt filled, claimed. When Blake was completely sheathed inside of her they both groaned.

“So good, love.”

Yes, it is.
Blake paced his upper body fully on her chest and framed her face with his hands. The play of muscles that rippled along his shoulders and biceps spoke of his strength, and a gush of moisture slipped from her, further aiding in his penetration. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in. Over and over he did this, slow and easy thrusts that had her lifting her hips in hopes he’d go faster. Beads of sweat dotted his brow and slid down his temple. The force it took for him to control himself was astounding, but she didn’t want gentle. She wanted his sweat to drip on her as he pounded into her body. She wanted to just …
feel
.

“I know you’re holding back, and I don’t want that, Blake.” Something shifted behind his eyes after she spoke, and his movements picked up. His cock slid in and out of her, growing faster and faster as his hips slapped against hers and the sound of wet flesh filled the room. Poppy gripped onto his biceps, the muscles rock solid beneath her touch.

“God, Poppy,” Blake said harshly. He pushed himself up, forcing her hands to fall from his body. Blake gripped her inner thighs, pushed her legs impossibly wider, and stared down at where his cock sank into her pussy. He locked eyes with her and hoarsely said, “Look, Poppy.” The pleasure was insurmountable, but when she braced herself on her elbows and stared down at where their bodies met, the ecstasy rose. His cock pulled out, glossy from her cream,
then
sank back into her. Over and over he did this, the moonlight glistening off the wetness she created just for him. He placed his thumb on her clit and moved the bundle of nerves back and forth, back and forth, and she exploded without any preamble.

Lights flashed before her eyes as her orgasm claimed her, body and soul. Blake didn’t relent as he
pistoned
in and out of her, drawing her climax to the peak then keeping it there until she couldn’t breathe. When the world came back into focus the image before her had her arousal racing to the forefront again. Blake looked wild, untamed, and full of heat. Sweat dripped down his chest in sensual droplets of salty pleasure. His short hair was unkempt, mussed, and wet from his perspiration, but he had never looked so good to her. Before she could even blink, Blake moved onto his back and had her above him, straddling him. His hands were on her waist, and he lifted her, forcing his cock to almost slip out before he impaled her on him. Poppy’s head spun as he did this continuously. All she could do was brace herself with her hands on his chest as he fucked her on his shaft.

Grunts and groans left him and grew louder and louder. She knew he was close. Taking matters into her own hands, Poppy pressed all the way down on him and ground her pussy on his pelvis. A gasp left her when her clit rubbed against the short, coarse hairs of his lower belly.
 

“Yeah, Poppy.
Fuck.
Yeah
,” Blake said. He tightened his hold on her waist as she took over the rocking motions. Up and down she moved, sinking harder and faster on his cock until her head grow dizzy from it all. She placed her hands behind her, resting them on his muscular thighs and worked herself on him with more fervor. She was going to come again.

The taste of sweet release was so close that on the next down stroke she ground her clit against him. The explosion inside of her rivaled a nuclear bomb. Poppy threw her head back and cried out as her pussy clamped down on his cock. Blake dug his fingertips into her, and his low, animalistic grunt signaled he’d found his own release. If it were even possible, Poppy felt him harden even further inside of her. She collapsed against his chest, their skin sweaty and their breathing cacophonous. Blake wrapped his arms around her and rolled so they were on their sides facing each other. The heavy length of him was still buried inside of her, and spasms continued to travel through her.

For so long she’d lived in a bubble of hurt. Everyone around her had been so kind and caring, giving her the space and time she needed, but then Blake had called her and everything changed. Even now, with Blake’s arms wrapped around her and the euphoric wave of bliss still coursing through her, Poppy could imagine that things would be different.

 
She had slept with Blake, Jon’s brother. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye, and she hid her face, not wanting Blake to see it. Inside were conflicting emotions, and she honestly didn’t know if her tears were for guilt or the immense happiness she felt. This was real, and she longer lived in the past. She couldn’t deny how she felt, couldn’t ignore the clear connection between her and Blake, but that didn’t make her emotionless. The steady
thump-thump
,
thump-thump
,
thump-thump
of his heart lulled her into a deeper relaxation, and she pressed her cheek harder against his chest. She had thought he was asleep, but then he kissed the top of her head.

“You’re thinking too hard, sweetheart.”

Poppy sighed because Blake was right. “I know, but it’s inevitable.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” The husky drawl of his voice was laced with sleepiness.

Did she? He always listened and never judged.
“No, not right now.”
Poppy just wanted to enjoy this moment where the guilt couldn’t touch her, and she had the warmth and safety of Blake surrounding her. He didn’t respond, just ran his hand up and down her back until she felt the tendrils of sleep curl around her and there was nothing but darkness to sweep her away.

Chapter Nine

Poppy blinked her gritty-feeling eyes open. The bedside clock showed five in the morning. The activities of the night before rushed back to her, and when she shifted the ache between her thighs cemented those memories. Blake wasn’t in the bed beside her, and when she ran her hand across the empty space, cool sheets greeted her. It was clear he hadn’t been lying beside her for a while. Poppy decided he probably needed some time alone with his thoughts, but then she noticed him standing on the deck right outside his French doors. He had to be freezing out there in only a robe and slippers.

Poppy slipped from bed and grabbed the comforter thrown haphazardly on the bed. Images of why the blanket was mussed had her heart rate increasing. She stepped into her slippers and went to the doors. The glass was frosty around the edges, but she couldn’t feel the cold seep through the glass. Blake turned when he heard her open the door. Smoke billowed out around him, but it wasn’t when his warm breath hit the frigid air. The scent of cigarette smoke instantly hit her sense, and she frowned.

“Thought you kicked the habit years ago?” Poppy closed the door behind her and stepped beside him. Blake took another drag of his cigarette and blew out a stream of smoke.

“Yeah, I did.” He cocked his head to the side and smirked. “But sometimes my weakness kicks me in the ass.” He took one more drag and stubbed out the butt. He rested his forearms on the banister and looked ahead. “They’re horrible for my health, I know.” He didn’t look at her, but he grinned.

A lot of things ran through her mind, but the silence felt serene, and for several moments she didn’t do anything but stand beside him and watch as the frost glinted off the moonlight like tiny crystals.

“Why don’t you go back in, sweetheart? It’s freezing out here.” Blake wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her arm. Poppy wanted to press him, talk to him and see what he thought, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything. So, she nodded and pulled away from him.

A moment passed when Poppy thought Blake might pull her back into the safety of his embrace, but instead he clenched his hands at his sides and turned away from her. A dejected feeling washed through. She slipped back into the house and forced herself to be strong. For some reason the feeling of being rejected slammed into her, so hard and forceful it sucked the air right from her lungs. She turned around and looked out the window. Blake’s shoulders were bunched, and his head was dropped low. White puffs of air left him, and his hands were tight fists in front of him. She knew that body language well, knew the emotions that practically slammed against the house. They were ones she had felt, had lived with for the past two years. It was regret.

****

Blake’s balls were about to shrivel up and fall off from the fucking cold, but he refused to go back inside, especially now that Poppy was awake.
Fuck.
He felt like the biggest asshole for all but shoving her back in the house. He ran a hand over his face and breathed out. A light dusting of snow started to fall around him, just adding to the inches that already covered the ground. Being with Poppy was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but he couldn’t help but feel like the worst piece of shit alive. Here he had told her not to think so much, that what they had was special. All of that was true, yet after they had been intimate and she had fallen asleep pressed against him, Blake had done nothing but think about what they had done. The dual feelings of guilt and euphoria were at war inside of him. He had slept with Jon’s wife, the one woman whom his little brother had loved above all else. If that didn’t make him a Grade A prick he didn’t know what did.

He could imagine the reaction of their families when he sat them down and told them the only woman he had ever loved was his sister-in-law. A humorless laugh left him.

“You really are fucked up.” Blake tilted his head back and looked up. The sky was clear, with the hint of morning out over the horizon. Stars still dotted the sky, their bright, white lights flickering and pulsing with life and energy. Was there someone else out there, staring up at the sky and wondering the same thing at this exact moment? Did he have the same worries, the same hopes, and the same dreams? Did he love a woman who had been married to his brother?

Blake hung his head and closed his eyes. Maybe he was taking advantage of her? He knew she still hurt over Jon’s death. Hell, so did he, but Poppy was having an especially difficult time. He couldn’t imagine what she went through with losing her husband and baby all in the same night, but he did know he wanted to be there for her, no matter what. The only problem was if he could let everything inside of him go so he could be the man she deserved.

Blake pulled another cigarette out of the pack and lit it. He had quit smoking years ago, and the pack was just as old, but when he pulled away from Poppy’s sleeping body and stepped outside, he had needed something to calm his fucked up nerves. He inhaled deeply, the nicotine kicking in instantly, but the aftereffect leaving a hollow feeling inside of him. He stubbed out the rest of it out and sighed.

He stayed outside until his fingers and toes became numb. When he stepped into his room he didn’t need to look at the bed to know it was empty. What did he expect, though? He had made love to Poppy then shut her out. The urge to go to her was strong, but he needed to think, needed to wrap his head around what the hell he really wanted. What he did know was that he loved a woman he had no right to love. Blake shrugged off the robe and stepped out of his slippers before slipping back in bed. The scent of Poppy rose up around him, and he closed his eyes and inhaled her into his lungs. Her side of the bed was still slightly warm, and he rolled over, burying his face in her pillow until every part of his body ached to be with her. Why did it have to be so hard? Why couldn’t it be easy to be with the woman he wanted?

Because every time you look at her, touch her, kiss her, you’ll think of Jon and the way you’re betraying him.

God, what she must think of him right now. Blake threw the covers off and stood. He didn’t bother with his robe or slippers as he slipped out of his room and made his way down the hallway to Poppy. The door was cracked, and he saw her body huddled in the center of the bed. He placed his hands on the doorframe and watched her, knowing he should go to her, hold her, and tell her that what they had done was good and right. He wanted to, itched to do that, but he was weak and a coward and didn’t move. Just as he turned to leave her soft whimper stopped him. Blake rubbed the center of his chest as his heart started to clench painfully. The sound of her crying felt like a bullet to his chest. He pushed the door open and stepped inside. When he reached the edge of her bed he could see her body shaking under the sheets. Her eyes were shut tightly, and Poppy had yet to notice his presence. Not worrying about anything but the woman before him, Blake slipped into the bed and pulled her to him. A small sound of surprise escaped her, but then she molded her body as close to him as she could get.

“I’m so sorry, Blake. I don’t want to ruin what we have. I don’t want to lose you.” Her tears were hard and wracked her body, and so he held her tighter.

“
Shhh
, I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed the top of her head and knew there was no way he could give her up. “I’m not going to let you go, Poppy.”

She half laughed, half sobbed. “I hope not, Blake, because I don’t want you to let me go.”