The Earl Claims a Bride (31 page)

Walking slowly, he headed for the exit. He hoped she’d come after him. He wanted her to come after him and tell him she loved him, too.

But she didn’t.

Chapter 28

I did love you once.

Hamlet
3.1.115

It had been raining since Angelina awoke.

Saying good-bye to a long-held dream wasn’t easy. she’d worried all night and all morning that she might not be strong enough to do it when the time came. She was sad, and anxious, but before she could tell Harrison she loved him, she had to tell Captain Maxwell she didn’t love him and couldn’t marry him. It was the right thing to do. She owed it to him to be honest with him about her feelings before she committed to Harrison.

She sat on the settee with Captain Maxwell, her grandmother dutifully in a chair sipping tea. Angelina had asked the captain to come over. She would always smile when she saw him, feel such pride at knowing him, but without the passion or desire for him, she couldn’t marry him. She had to let him know that she loved Lord Thornwick.

“Granna,” Angelina said, “would you mind giving me a few minutes alone with Captain Maxwell?”

“Oh, that wouldn’t be proper, dear. You know that.”

“You needn’t go too far, Granna, and it won’t be for long. Please give us a short time together.”

Her grandmother searched her eyes. “Well, I
^____
are you sure you want to do this, Angelina?”

“Yes, please.” She knew her grandmother thought she wanted time alone so the captain could propose to her. The captain probably thought that, too.

There was no need to sit back down after her grandmother left the room. Captain Maxwell wouldn’t be staying long.

He surprised her by taking hold of her hands and saying, “Thank you for arranging for us to be alone.” He smiled and looked down into her eyes. “I had hoped we could have a few minutes so I could properly ask you to marry me before I speak to your father. I was too hasty when we were in the park.”

Rain had fogged the windows. The low-burning fire hadn’t taken the chill off the room. Captain Maxwell’s grip was strong and warm, yet still Angelina pulled her hands out of his and stepped away. She wondered if this would have been easier had it been a beautiful, sunny day.

When she looked at him, so handsome in his red coat with its shiny gold buttons, braids, and epaulets, a sword by his side, she wavered. But then Harrison with his teasing smile and passionate embrace came to mind, and she found all the courage she needed.

“Captain,” she said. “I asked you to come over today so I could tell you I can’t marry you.”

He blinked fast and continued to stare at her. “It’s the patch,” he said with no emotion.

She’d feared he would think that. “No,” she said firmly. She would not let him accuse her of that again.

“You say that, yet you won’t marry me.” He stepped closer to her. “You are the one who gave me a reason to live when all I wanted to do was die. I’d remember your sweet smile, and I’d tell myself I had to come back for you. I never thought I’d be good enough for you because of my scarring, but I knew you were waiting for me. I had to take the chance you would accept me as I am.”

“Your appearance has nothing to do with my feelings.”

“When I came home you encouraged me to call on you. I thought you had decided you could live with the way I look.”

Her gaze searched his face intently. She needed him to understand. “I encouraged you because I had hopes I’d still have the same feelings for you that I did when you left.”

Captain Maxwell hit his chest over his heart with his fist. “I still have the same feelings for you.”

It broke her heart to say, “But I don’t have them for you.”

“The patch and my scarring offend you,” he said roughly. “Just say it.”

“No,” she insisted adamantly. “That isn’t true so stop saying it. It has nothing to do with your patch or the scarring. Your manner and treatment of me are perfect. You are a true gentleman. It has nothing to do with you. It’s me.”

“Stop trying to spare my feelings, Miss Rule. Please give me the dignity of the truth. You’re beautiful and I am a monster with one eye. I have horrid scars. You will have to look at them every day of your life. Our children would have to look at me. Their friends will make fun of me.”

“You don’t know what you are saying,” she declared, feeling her own temper flaring because he refused to believe her. “I wanted to love you, Captain. I did love you at one time, but not anymore and not because of your appearance. I haven’t wanted to tell you I can’t marry you for fear you’d assume exactly what you are thinking. My decision has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.” Her voice softened. “I was sixteen when I first saw you. I loved you the way a sixteen-year-old loves the first handsome gentleman she sees. You were older, a soldier, and so dashing in your uniform. I don’t know any way to say it other than my love for you didn’t grow up with me. I love someone else.”

“The earl.”

“Yes,” she answered quietly. “I’m in love with him. I wanted it to be you. You were the first man to set my heart to fluttering. I dreamed about you while you were away, and when you returned I tried to force myself to love you because I wanted to so badly. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make it happen. I have great respect for you, but I don’t love you.”

He shook his head and said, “I can make you happy. I know I can.”

“No. I don’t know if Lord Thornwick wants me after, after some things I have said to him, but I must try to make him see that I love him, and I want to be his wife.”

“Oh, he wants you, Miss Rule,” the captain said bitterly. “You can be sure of that. But he will never love you, or be true to you, or be good to you.”

In her heart, Angelina knew Captain Maxwell was wrong. Harrison had already been good to her in so many ways. He agreed to saying he would marry her at the end of the Season when, at the time, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He took her to the shelter where she could send wounded animals. He allowed her to take her time and realize that the captain was not the man she loved after all.

“I don’t think you are right in that, Captain. I believe Lord Thornwick loves me and that he will be true to me. But in any case, it’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

“My injury doesn’t keep me from being a man.” He spoke harshly. “I want, I feel, I get angry.”

“I know,” she agreed.

“The earl doesn’t deserve you. I do!”

“That is enough, Captain,” she said, feeling annoyance rising again. “There’s nothing more I can say. I think it’s time you left.”

“You can say it is love for the scoundrel that pleases you, but I know why you have told me no. I know that it’s because you are afraid when I make you mine, you will be repulsed by me.”

She flinched at his words. “How dare you say that? How dare you suggest I am that weak and shallow? You may be thinking that, but I would not be.” Anger fierce and hot rose up in her. Without thinking, she reached up and yanked the patch off his head.

He yelled and covered that side of his face with his hand. “Give it back!” He lunged for the patch with his other hand. She quickly snatched it behind her back. He grabbed her again and tried to reach around her.

“Why did you do that? Give it to me.”

“No!” Angelina struggled with him. She tried to pull his hand away from his face while he tried to reach behind her back. “I will look at you!” She struggled, wadding the patch tightly in her fist.

“Give it to me!”

“No! Look at me. I will prove you are the one who is afraid of what you look like. It is not me. It’s you!”

Captain Maxwell yelled something about her being a wicked woman who led him on a merry chase. Suddenly he brought his hands down and grabbed both her upper arms and held her like a vise. He was so irate he forgot that the injured side of his face wasn’t covered. There wasn’t a gaping black hole as she’d imagined. The lid was closed as if he were asleep. It wasn’t even anything that would make her take a second look if she passed him on the street.

She stopped struggling.

He looked down and saw both his hands gripping her arms. He jerked his hand back up to cover the scarred side of his face. “What have you done?” he whispered in an agonized voice that saddened her to her core.

“I’ve proven to you that you are the one who has a problem with your appearance. It is not me. I have no problem looking at your face.” She held his patch out to him.

He took it and slipped it on his head, settling it over his eye. “There is no eye there,” he mumbled.

“No, but you are not a monster, either. I am not screaming or running away. I’m not horrified. I’m in awe of your courage and your determination to keep living your life as the strong confident gentleman you are.”

“That does little to soothe me, Miss Rule.”

He turned and stomped out.

Chapter 29

Courage mounteth with occasion.

King John
2.1.82

Slashing rain beat against the window of the carriage. It had started storming just as Harrison’s coach had stopped in front of Angelina’s house. There had been a steady drizzle all day, but suddenly the bottom seemed to fall out of the dark-gray sky. It looked as if no end was in sight. But Harrison wasn’t going to let a little rain stop him.

Captain Maxwell needed Miss Rule. She would care for him. In time she would heal him. But Harrison needed her, too. He’d never told her. Never even hinted at it and never would let her know he was lost, he had been wounded, too. And he wasn’t ready to stop fighting for her.

Telling her he loved her last night was a risk. Now that she’d had time to think about what he’d said, he needed to see her.

The umbrella would be of little use in the wind so he settled his hat low on his head, picked up the small basket of apricot tarts and hid them under his cloak, and stepped out of the carriage. Stinging rain pelted the side of his face, and he splashed in puddles as he hurried toward the stoop. He knocked once on the door and the dogs took over and did their part to let everyone in the house know someone had arrived.

A few moments later Mrs. Bickmore arrived. “My lord,” she said, eyeing the basket in his hand. “Come in. Come in.”

Harrison stepped inside, took off his dripping hat, and handed it to the housekeeper. “Thank you, Mrs. Bickmore.”

“It’s a shame you came out on such a bad day. There’s no one here to see you. It wasn’t storming when Lady Railbridge left so she decided to go ahead to her weekly outing. Mr. Rule is out, too. I don’t expect either of them back before the storm lets up.”

“Did Miss Rule go with one of them?”

“No, but she’s resting and asked not to be disturbed.”

Resting?

“Is Miss Rule ill?” he asked.

“I don’t think so, my lord,” Mrs. Bickmore said, looking at the basket again. “Lady Railbridge said something about her being very tired because she didn’t sleep well. She wanted to lie down.”

“And you say Mr. Rule is out as well?”

“Quiet, you beasts!” she turned and yelled to the dogs, who hadn’t managed to settle down, before giving her attention back to Harrison. “I don’t know when to expect him. Truth be told he’d been gone a couple of days now, and Lady Railbridge doesn’t usually return until late.”

Harrison looked at the tarts. He heard wind whipping around the house, and rain beating against the door and the windowpanes. Angelina was in her bed and unchaperoned. Harrison wasn’t leaving without seeing her.

Could he do it?

Harrison knew when he’d decided to come to Angelina’s house that he was going to fight for her with all he had. At the time, he didn’t know what that was going to be, but now he did. It was a hell of a thing for him to do, and maybe it wasn’t fair to the captain, but Harrison was going to do it anyway.

“In that case, Mrs. Bickmore, why don’t you make yourself a cup of tea, sit down, and enjoy these apricot tarts?” He extended the basket to her.

“Oh.” Her eyes rounded in delighted surprise at the thought of savoring one of the sweet cakes as she took the basket and caught the scent of the fruit. “Oh, but no, I couldn’t do that, my lord.” She shook her head. “I’ll save them for Miss Rule.” She reached for the basket. “She’ll have them when she gets up.”

“I insist these are yours to eat, Mrs. Bickmore. They’re best when eaten warm, and my cook just took them out of the oven and wrapped them. I’ll bring Miss Rule some more at another time. These are yours.”

A smile spread across her face. “Well, if you insist,” she said, peeking inside the cloth. “You’re right, they are still warm. And they smell delicious, too.”

“They are. Make yourself a cup of tea to go with them.” He took his hat from her. “Go on now. I’ll see myself out.”

“If you’re sure.”

Very sure.

He smiled. “I am.”

Harrison held tightly to his hat and watched Mrs. Bickmore walk down the corridor and disappear into the kitchen. As quietly as possible, he turned and took the stairs two at a time. None of the lamps had been lit at the top, and the thunderous skies had that part of the house almost dark. Two doors were on one side of the corridor and three on the other. He had no idea which room was Angelina’s, but with no one else in the house but her, he didn’t have to worry about knocking on the wrong door.

The dogs had finally settled down. He didn’t want to make any noise that might disturb them again. He walked quietly up to the first door and knocked softly. He heard nothing. No sound came from the second, either. He then moved to the center door on the other side of the corridor and knocked.

“Come in,” he heard Angelina say.

A surge of anticipation thudded in his chest. She could scream. She could throw him out, or she could welcome him. His hand closed around the cold knob. He turned it and pushed slowly on the door. It creaked slightly. He opened it only far enough to quickly slip inside, and then he softly closed it behind him.