The Duff: Designated Ugly Fat Friend (27 page)

“It’s a messy job,” I teased. “But, hey, someone’s gotta do it. I promise to be the Duff next weekend.”

She laughed.

“Are you wearing a padded bra?” Jessica blurted out, apparently unaware of our conversation. “Your boobs look bigger.”

There was a long moment of silence, and I suddenly realized that I would have been safer with my mother.

Casey burst into a fit of laughter as I buried my face in my hands, completely mortified. Toby didn’t show any reaction. Thank
God. If he had, I might have committed suicide right there in the car. Banged my head against the window until my brain was
flattened like a pancake. Instead of snickering or glancing at my chest to see if Jessica was right, Toby acted like boobs
hadn’t even been mentioned. He just stuck the key in the ignition and pulled out of my driveway.

Note to self,
I thought.
Murder Jessica when there are no witnesses.

Though, in a weird way, Toby’s lack of reaction bugged me. Wesley would have made a joke. He would have looked at my chest,
of course, but then he would have said something. He would have made me laugh. He wouldn’t have just ignored it like Toby.

God! Of all things, this should
not
have been something that bothered me.

“You know,” Casey said when she was finally able to stop laughing. “It was pretty cool of you guys to invite us along.” She
smiled at me, and I knew she was glad to be included. “But you realize this is totally going to ruin your date, right?”

“How so?” Toby asked.

“Because we get to be your chaperones!” Jessica declared with way too much enthusiasm.

“Which makes it our job to put a stop to all forms of hanky-panky,” Casey added. “And we’ll enjoy doing it.”

“Yep.”

But Toby and I had no need to worry. The minute we got inside the Nest, my friends took off for the dance floor, flipping
their hair and shaking their butts in the usual fashion.

“It looks like they’re the ones who need to be chaperoned,” Toby chuckled as he led me to an empty booth.

“That’s usually my job,” I said.

“Do you think they can survive if you take a night off?”

“We’ll see.”

He smiled and touched my earring with his fingertips. “The band won’t start for half an hour,” he said, moving his hand down
my neck to rest on my shoulder. It didn’t do anything for me. But if Wesley had done this, trailed his fingers across my skin
that way, I would have…

“Do you want me to get us some drinks before the bar gets too crowded?”

“Sure,” I said, choking back the thought of Wesley. “I’ll have a Cher—
Diet
Coke.”

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll be right back.” He kissed me on the cheek and left for the bar.

People were spilling through the doors of the club. There was always a bigger crowd on nights when a band played. A few eighth-grade
girls took the booth behind me, bragging loudly about how they’d pretended to be in high school to get in. A junior and one
of his friends sidled past me, a poorly concealed beer bottle hanging out of his baggy jacket, and, for a split second, I
caught a glimpse of
the dark-haired freshman Jessica and I had watched at the basketball game weeks ago. She walked through the door, hand in
hand with a cute boy I didn’t recognize. Even from my distance, I could see the smile on her face. She looked beautiful, and
I knew one of her preppy blond friends was being forced to fill in as the Duff in her absence. Then she and her date were
gone, swept away by the crowd, leaving me with an inexplicable smile on my lips.

I didn’t know what kind of band was supposed to be performing, but based on the number of kids with purple hair and lip rings
who were walking in, I figured I’d be hearing Emo music.

There went my smile.

Great. Whiny boys with guitars. So my style, right?

I was absentmindedly watching the flood of people when
he
appeared among the crowd. At first I didn’t even notice. He was with Harrison Carlyle, talking casually as they pushed their
way toward the bar. It was easy to track his movement. He stood a few inches taller than everyone around him, he glanced around
the crowd with more confidence than the rest of our classmates, he walked through the swarms with more grace than any normal
teenager could manage, and my eyes followed him without my brain’s consent.

Halfway to the bar, Wesley turned his head in my direction. His dark eyes locked with mine for an instant.
Shit.
I looked away, praying he hadn’t noticed me, even though I was sure he had.

“God,” I muttered, clenching my fist under the table. “It’s like he’s everywhere.”

“Who’s everywhere?” Toby asked, taking his seat across from me and sliding my glass along the smooth surface of the table.

“No one.” I took a sip of the Diet Coke and tried not to make a face. The lack of sugar left a bad taste in my mouth. I swallowed
and asked, “What’s the name of the band that’s playing again?”

“Black Tears,” he answered.

Yep. That sounded like Emo shit to me.

“Cool.”

“I’ve never heard their music,” Toby admitted, running a hand over his bowl cut blond hair. “But people have told me they’re
good. Plus, they’re about the only band in Hamilton. It seems like everyone else who plays here is from Oak Hill.”

“Uh-huh.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, conscious of Wesley’s eyes on me. The way they crept along my skin made me insane, and
I hoped that Toby wouldn’t notice me twitching. He’d probably think I was on crack or something.

“I finished
Wuthering Heights,
” I said, desperate to start a conversation that would get my thoughts off Wesley. It took me a minute to realize this was
definitely not the best subject for that task.

“Did you like it?” Toby asked.

“Well, it gave me a lot to think about.” I could have slapped myself. Wasn’t it that damn book that had me so freaked out
in the first place? Why did I have to bring it up? But it was too late to change the topic now. Toby had jumped into a full-on
book critique.

“I know. I’ve always wondered what made Emily Brontë choose to write such unpleasant characters. I mean, throughout the whole
book, I just thought that both Heathcliff and Linton were such bastards, and Cathy…”

I swirled my straw in my drink, only half listening. Every time Toby said
Heathcliff,
my eyes automatically darted over his shoulder to glance at Wesley. As always, he looked gorgeous, wearing jeans and a tight
white T-shirt beneath a slightly too large black jacket. He was sitting alone at the bar, stretched out and casually leaning
back with both elbows on the bar molding. Alone. Not a single girl clinging to him. Hell, even Harrison had disappeared. Joe
was the only person close enough to keep him company, and he seemed to be busy with a herd of thirsty Goth kids.

Wesley’s eyes stayed fixed on me the entire time. From where I sat, it was hard to read their expression, but they never wavered
for a second. Yeah, it was unnerving, but I knew that I would’ve been disappointed, maybe even hurt, if I’d found that he’d
turned away. I actually caught myself checking every few minutes to see if he was still watching me.

“Bianca?”

Startled, I focused on Toby again. “Hmm?”

“Are you all right?” he asked.

My fingers had been toying with the little
B
charm around my neck without my realizing it. Immediately I dropped my hand to my side. “I’m fine.”

“Casey warned me that you’re probably lying when you say that,” he said.

I gritted my teeth and searched the dance floor for my so-called friend. She was being added to my hit list.

“And I think she’s right,” Toby sighed.

“What?”

“Bianca, I can see what’s going on.” He glanced over his
shoulder at Wesley before turning back to me with a little nod. “He’s been staring at you since he got here.”

“Has he?”

“I can see him in the mirrors over there. And you’ve been staring back,” Toby said. “It’s not just tonight either. I’ve seen
the way he looks at you during school. In the hallways. He likes you, doesn’t he?”

“I… I don’t know. I guess.” Oh God, this was uncomfortable. I just kept spinning my straw between my fingers and watching
the little waves that appeared on the surface of my drink. I couldn’t meet Toby’s gaze.

“I don’t have to guess,” he said. “It’s pretty obvious. And the way you look at him makes me think you’re in love with him,
too.”

“No!” I cried, releasing my straw and glaring up at Toby. “No, no,
no
. I am not in love with him, okay?”

Toby gave me a small smile and said, “But you do have feelings for him.”

I couldn’t see any sign of pain in his eyes, just a touch of amusement. That made it a lot easier to give him an answer. “Um,…
yeah.”

“Then go to him.”

I rolled my eyes without meaning to. It was just so automatic. “Jesus, Toby,” I said, “that sounds like a line out of a bad
movie.”

Toby shrugged. “Maybe, but I’m serious, Bianca. If you feel that way about him, you should go over there.”

“But what about—?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. “If you want Wesley, that’s who you should be with right now. Dating me won’t make your
feelings for him go away…. I should know. Definitely don’t worry about me, Bianca. The truth is, I’m in the same situation
as you. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“How?”

Now Toby was the one staring at his drink, nervously adjusting his glasses. “I’m not over Nina.”

“Nina? Your ex?”

He nodded. “We broke up over a month ago, but I still think about her a lot. I really do like you, so I thought that if we
dated, maybe I’d forget about her. For a while I did, but…”

“Well then, you should call her,” I said. “Instead of just sitting here pouting, you should call Nina and tell her how you
feel. Tonight.”

He brought his eyes back up to meet mine. “You’re not angry? You don’t feel used?”

“That would make me a huge hypocrite since I was kind of using you, too. Even though I really didn’t mean to.” I slid out
of the booth and paused to steady myself on the platform shoes. “And for the record, if Nina doesn’t take you back, she’s
a moron. I think you’re probably the sweetest, most polite guy I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve had a massive crush on you
for years. I seriously
wish
you were the one for me.”

“Thanks,” Toby said. “And if Wesley breaks your heart, I promise to… well, I would say I’d kick his ass, but we both know
that’s physically impossible.” He frowned down at his skinny arms. “So I’ll write him a strongly worded letter.”

“Okay,” I snorted. I leaned across the table and kissed Toby on the cheek. “And thank you.”

He gave me one more perfect smile, one I would remember for the rest of my life, and said, “You’re stalling. Hurry up and
go.”

“Right. Okay. See you in class, Toby.”

“Good-bye, Bianca.”

I took a long, deep breath to calm my nerves as I locked eyes with Wesley again. Then, with a weak smile pulling at the corners
of my mouth, I began to push my way through the crowded club, leaving behind the nicest guy in the world. The familiar techno
music had stopped playing, and everyone on the floor stood around waiting for the band to go onstage. I had to zigzag between
their stationary bodies, no one being considerate enough to step aside for even a millisecond.

I spotted Casey in the crowd—her blond head towering over everyone but the boy beside her, the basketball player she’d been
eyeing for weeks—and I knew she wouldn’t like my decision. In her head, it was Wesley’s fault I’d neglected her. She’d be
upset with me. She might even get pissed. She’d think I was leaving her behind again. I would just have to prove her wrong.
Prove to her that Toby, whom she adored, wasn’t right for me.

When I was about three yards from the bar, a sound filled the speakers, but it wasn’t the Emo music I was expecting. Instead,
a screech of feedback assaulted my ears—and totally scared the shit out of me. I was so startled that I jumped, which wouldn’t
have been a big deal in any other shoes.

My foot landed on the side of my platform, throwing me completely off balance. Before I could recover, my ankle gave way and
sent me flying—face first, naturally—into the wooden floor. Fan-freaking-tastic!

I couldn’t help letting out a whimper as pain shot through my twisted ankle. “Fuck!” I groaned. “Ow, ow, ow! God, I hate these
damn shoes.”

“Then why did you wear them?”

My skin tingled as two hands lifted me by the elbows and guided me into a standing position. Realizing I wasn’t stable on
my feet, Wesley wrapped his arm around my waist and walked me over to a bar stool.

“Are you all right?” he asked, helping me onto the seat. I could tell by his smile that he was fighting the urge to laugh.

“Yes,” I mumbled, letting myself smile a little. I didn’t really feel that embarrassed. Not with Wesley. Had it been anyone
else, I would have run—or hobbled—right out of the club, but with Wesley it felt
okay
. Like we could laugh about it together.

But the smile faded and his face became serious. He stared at me for a long moment, and his silence was about to drive me
up the wall when he finally opened his mouth. “Bianca, I—”

“Bianca! Omigosh!” Jessica materialized at my side, her cheeks pink from excitement and exercise. Behind her, the band had
started playing (or attempting to play) an Emo version of a Johnny Cash song. It was sickening, but Jessica managed to talk
over the racket. “Oh, Bianca, I finally found you! Did you see? Harrison and I were dancing together! I think he might ask
me to prom. Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Good for you, Jessica.”

“I have to go tell Angela!” Then she spotted Wesley. A knowing smile spread across her face as she said, “See you two later.”
And with a whip of her blond ponytail, she was gone.

Wesley watched her vanish into the crowd with an amused expression. “She does know Harrison prefers men, right?”

“Let her have hope,” I said, smiling to myself.