The Drunk Logs (7 page)

“Hey, where have you been all day?” Barry Eugene asked in a low, slow, drawn out voice as I entered the room.

“I’ve been busy. I can’t stay in this room all day,” I said and passed him at the desk.

Barry Eugene struggled as his arms shook and rattled the chair. I stared at him nervously; he was half-naked and I wondered what he was going to do next. He hobbled over to his bed and huffed with discomfort, as I proceeded to put on my pajamas and plop into bed.

He let out a large grunt as he slowly lowered himself down on his bed, and yawned as his head hit the pillow.
Finally
, I thought,
I will get some rest
. The only thing that I had to worry about was the nurse checking my vitals. I rolled over toward the window and snuggled my pillow. With a large yawn of my own, I closed my eyes to sleep.

“You know I’m going home tomorrow?” Barry Eugene said as my eyes sprung open. “Yeah, talked to the nurse and she said she’s checking on everything tomorrow. They can’t keep a man here against his will. It’s not legal. No. So I’m gonna go on that bus that they have here and get a ride home. Yeah. But first I’m gonna tell the guy drivin’ to stop by the store so I can pick up some beer. I can’t keep drinkin’ this orange juice they keep givin’ me. It upsets my stomach, that orange juice does. Then, I’m going to go to my bar that I always go to. You have to watch out though. It’s not a bar for someone like you. It’s a tough bar, where only guys who have been around the block go. Yeah. Gonna go to the bar…they have some good lookin’ women there too. Some of them have tattoos on their boobies that they let me see. I’ve seen big ones and small ones, even black ones.”

I tried not to listen to Barry Eugene’s incoherent ramble and hoped that the Valium I had just received would kick in soon.
If I’m still and say nothing, maybe he will get the hint…maybe
, I thought.

It seemed to have been only fifteen minutes since I had dozed off when I was awoken by a strong smell.
Is that smoke?
I wondered to myself as I gradually opened my eyes. “It can’t be,” I said to myself. “And why is the room all red?” I turned over and noticed a red handkerchief over the desk lamp while Barry Eugene smoked in his bed.

I screamed, “Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I didn’t want to wake you with the smoke, so I put the handkerchief over the lamp,” he answered.

I violently pushed off the comforter and threw the handkerchief at Barry Eugene. “You are a complete moron. You know that?”

“What’s going on in here?” Molly said as she walked into the room, followed by Carl.

“This idiot almost started a fire with that handkerchief, putting it over the fucking lamp.”

“Calm down, Matt,” Molly said and turned to Barry Eugene. “You can’t do that, Barry Eugene, and you’re not supposed to be smoking in here. So put it out.”

Oblivious to what he had just done, Barry Eugene looked around for an ashtray and found his dinner still on the nightstand. He slowly leaned over, undid the plastic top, and threw it on the floor. As he dipped the cigarette in the gravy, the cherry burned a hole into the plastic plate.

“Come on, Barry Eugene, you have to come with us,” said Molly as she and Carl grabbed both sides of him. They helped him out of bed and into the hall, both of them looking back at me with looks of sympathy mixed with irritation.

“Now, I can finally get some sleep, as long as they keep that idiot out of the room until tomorrow,” I said as I picked up my comforter.

I slid into bed, tried to relax, took a few deep breaths, and listened only to the distant noise in the hall.

“Matt, I’m sorry. I need to check your vitals,” a young, thin nurse with short black hair said.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I sat up in bed and shook my head.

“I know what happened and I’m sorry. You don’t have to go down the hall. I brought the blood pressure machine with me so I can check on you in your room tonight.”

“Thank you, uh?”

“Karen.”

I lifted my eyebrows and tried to force my eyes open. “Karen, I’m sorry. I didn’t know your name.”

“That’s all right. Let’s just get this on and…” She slid the belt around my arm and pushed the start button. “Well, it’s high again, but that’s understandable considering what happened. Here is another Valium, and do you need some water with that?”

“No, thank you. I have some water on the nightstand,” I mumbled with the pill in my mouth.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Just try to relax now,” she said as she tapped me on the shoulder and left.

I reached over to the nightstand and took a sip from the cup of water. I lay back in bed, when it occurred to me that I didn’t spill any water. I held my arms out in front and took a look at my hands. They were barely shaking.

I closed my eyes and rolled to the left side and faced the window. I smiled as I hoped for a better tomorrow, and the Valium quickly lulled me to sleep.

Chapter 4

“Matt?…Matt?…Matt?” Karen said as she shook my shoulder harder each time. “Matt, it’s time to check your vitals again before you see the doctor,” she said. The sunlight pierced through the window and slapped me awake.

“What time is it?”

“It’s almost nine o’clock,” she said as she pushed the button on the blood pressure monitor.

I sat up and rubbed my face with my hand.

“Come on, Matt, you know you have to lie still for this,”

“Were you in here last night?” I asked.

“Yes, I was in here a few times after the incident with Barry Eugene. Don’t you remember?”

“No. I must have been really tired,” I said as I looked down at the monitor.

The monitor beeped and flashed the results. “It’s down considerably, but we have to see what the doctor says. So I’ll wait on giving you another Valium. He should be here in a few minutes.”

She wrapped the tubing from the belt around the monitor and walked toward the door.

“Thank you, Karen.”

“No problem.”

I sat in bed, took a few deep breaths, and tried to wake up when I looked over to Barry Eugene’s bed, still empty. “No wonder I got such a good night sleep,” I said to myself. “The poop master wasn’t here all night. But it wouldn’t have mattered, with all the Valium they’ve given me. The building could have exploded and I wouldn’t have woken up.”

I pushed myself out of bed, opened the closet, and panicked as I looked to see if everything was still inside. Wallet, money, keys: check. Everything of importance was there.
I must have forgotten to lock it because of that idiot
, I thought.

As I looked around, I wondered if I should close the door before I undressed. “Nah, most of the people here in detox are so loaded on drugs they won’t even remember what they saw,” I said to myself. “Hell, for that matter, I don’t even remember what Karen looked like.”

As I pulled off my sweat pants, I looked up and noticed Victoria standing in the doorway with a large smile. In only my neon yellow underwear, I realized there wasn’t much that I could do now. With a little bit of swagger, I turned back to my closet, grabbed my pants, and tried not to appear embarrassed by the situation.

“I like the color, Matt,” she said as she walked down the hall.

Suddenly, a man who I thought was the doctor entered the room. “So Karen, I want you and Molly to check that for me…uh, Matt Hoffman?”

“Yes?” I said as I pulled up my pants.

The man was a tall, husky fellow, with a slight hunch in his back, dark brown, curly hair, and deep, sad eyes. I became fixated on the divots in his cheeks, which caused him to become nervous and move back and forth incessantly. His dress was casual, with penny loafers, khakis, and a red, long-sleeve shirt. His street uniform was complete; he blended in with the other employees with his identification badge, clipboard, and a stethoscope around his neck.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Montgomery Michaels, or you can call me ‘M and M’ for short. Get it?” I stared at him. “Apparently not. Just trying to have some fun, because I know this is not easy for you. So, before we get started, I want to let you know that we need to be honest with each other, okay? I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. So if you lie to me when I ask you a question, I will know you are lying. Because I have been there before, and have told the same lies; and to back me up, I have all your blood work results and other information on what’s going on inside. All right?”

“Yes.”

I quickly became fond of the doctor. He was a no-nonsense, tell it like it is type of person. A quality I appreciated in an individual.

“Good, we’re on the same page. Okay, first, how do you feel? Any headaches, nausea, diarrhea, or blurred vision?”

“No.”

“How is your appetite?”

“Uh, I haven’t really eaten anything in the past two days, just, uh, just orange juice,” I said nervously.

“You’re in here for alcohol, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, loss of appetite is understandable, but your body still needs food even if you don’t feel like it. Even if you eat a banana or just a few bites at each meal, that will get you on the right track. Any drug use?”

“Yes, about eighteen years ago.”

“The only reason I’m asking, is that I’m trying to gain a sense of the whole picture here,” he said as he wrote down the information on his clipboard. “All right, now I’m just going to apply some pressure around your abdomen to see if you feel any discomfort.”

He handed his clipboard to Karen and walked over to me. He placed his left hand on my shoulder and slowly pushed my abdomen with his right hand. Immediately, I winced and took a step back. It felt as if electricity had just shot through my entire body. The doctor took a deep breath, grabbed the clipboard from Karen, and double clicked his pen.

“You have a slight inflammation on your right side where the fat cells have built up around your liver. It showed up on your blood work, but I just wanted to make sure. If you would have kept drinking you would have gotten cirrhosis and eventually died. But luckily, we caught it in time. The medication that we’ve been giving you should clear it up.”

My youthful ideas of indestructibility have caught up to me now. The sound of ice rattling in the glass must be put in the past. But even as I turn away, I know my longtime friend won’t say goodbye; he will sit patiently in the shadows waiting for his opportunity to say hello again.

“Alrighty. Hands out straight,” the doctor commanded.

The moment I had waited for had come, as I slowly raised my arms and ordered myself not to be nervous. My elbows locked as I stared at the wall above the doctor’s head.

“Well, apparently, the tremors have gone down from what was documented before,” he said softly as he held my hands in his palm. “Okay, you can let them down.” He looked at his clipboard and flipped through the pages. “But your blood pressure is still fluctuating, so we’re going to keep you in detox for another day.”

Deflated, I felt like a prisoner denied parole.

“Now you have to eat something, Matt, it will help with the tremors…and just try to relax, we’re here to help,” he said as he turned and escorted the nurses out.

“Fuck. I’m stuck in this fucking room for another fucking day,” I grumbled as I looked over to Barry Eugene’s bed. “And to top it all off, it’s with that fucking moron.”

“Ugh!” Barry Eugene moaned as he limped into the room.

“Well, speak of the devil,” I said.

He sat in his bed and flopped back into his pillow; his feet still touched the floor.

“So where have you been all night, Barry Eugene?” I asked sarcastically.

“Oh, they had me here and there, be-bopping around, and talkin’ to nurses…sit, stand, walk. But I did find that, uh…druggy buggy. Is what they call it?”

Silent, I prepared myself for another incoherent ramble.

“Well, anyway, I went outside and got in it to go home. Well, I must have fallen asleep because the driver woke me up and asked me what I was doing. I told him my name, Barry Eugene, and that is what he should call me, and said to take me home, but he said he didn’t have my name on his schedule. I think he was lying, because the nurse said she would take care of it. I don’t know why they won’t let me leave! They know I’m going home tomorrow.”

I began to laugh. “Well, keep trying, Barry Eugene.”

“Okay?”

“I’m going out for a cigarette, I’ll see
you
later.”

Outside, the sun was so bright I squinted my eyes and refocused on the objects before me as I walked up the path. The employee parking lot was half-full, where a few motorcycles looked like they were sun tanning, and the scene on the small hill was abuzz with patients and employees who came out to catch a quick smoke. They blended together in a parade of colors. The only thing that seemed to move was their smoke and conversation toward the roof of the pavilion and the small sparks that escaped from under feet, as cigarettes took their last breath.

I glanced around for my friends, lit my cigarette, and noticed them as they sat in the middle of the grassy field by the pond on a red picnic table that had been taken from the pavilion. I cut through the employee parking lot, hopped onto the plush grass, and strolled toward them.

“Hey guys.”

“What’s up?” said Sam as he looked up from a chessboard.

Jack Jack and Sam were playing a game that had been going on since the day they arrived. Both were deathly silent, as Bobby and two men I faintly remember whispered to one another as they waited for the next move. In the air, I smelled a sweet perfume and enjoyed the moment until a sharp pain bit me on the behind.

“Hi, Matt,” Victoria smiled as she passed left of me and sat next to Jack Jack.

“Damn it, Squirrel, don’t interrupt me,” Jack Jack barked.

“Jesus Christ, it’s just a game. Sam usually beats you anyhow.”

The silence quickly took hold again, when I noticed that one of the two men walked toward me, counting a handful of money.

He was white, middle-aged, and short, approximately 5′2″ with his worn, dirty, tennis shoes. His greasy brown hair matched his complexion and his unwashed, ragged clothes.