The Drunk Logs (28 page)

“Well, maybe if you would participate in the bickering, you would get more out of it,” I offered.

“Maybe.”

We continued to read, but with the increased congestion of patients who walked past our room, I couldn’t concentrate. So, I sat up in bed and threw my newspaper on the nightstand, walked over to the door, and stretched, as Pat looked at the clock.

“Are you already going to group?” Pat asked.

“No. I’m just checking out the situation in the hall.”

The patients slowly stirred and congregated around the kitchenette, tables, and elevator as they waited to hear the warning shot of the intercom voice. They jockeyed for positions as they stomped their feet and flared their nostrils. And when the suspension built to its most feverish pitch, the intercom blared and the stampede commenced. The money would never be placed on the young, but instead, the old. They were the ones that had traveled this green road too many times to mention, where intelligence was the key, not strength, as they joined their familiar groups. Pat, who heard the starting pistol, leapt out of bed and grabbed me on his way into a haze of bodies and addictions.

Pat and I were the first to enter as Maureen sat like the captain of a ship, ready at the helm, knowingly prepared, if one considered the event that had fallen upon today.

“Good morning,” she said, ready with clipboard in hand, as we proceeded to sit in our designated chairs.

Jack Jack followed, looking slightly surprised that he was not the first to enter. But nonetheless, he wandered over to his chair, ready for group, and counted the days to his release. Next to enter was the usual bunch of Craig, Ben, William, Bobby, and Robby, the caretaker of the door.

We followed our normal routine from signature to proclamation, when, at the end of our cycle, Pat started the group without provocation.

“Why do you guys do the drug tests?” he blurted.

Caught off guard, Maureen answered cautiously. “To see if anyone comes up positive for illegal substances.”

“Then, why do you keep doing them if they keep coming up positive?” he rebutted.

“To see if anyone comes up positive,” she answered, still hesitant.

The group started to crumple.

“Exactly, then why do you keep giving the drug test?”

“Uh…what?”

“Why do you keep giving the drug tests if everyone keeps coming up positive?” Pat asked in a stronger voice.

Maureen sat confused, while the other patients pondered what Pat really tried to say. Robby became enlightened and tried to explain Pat’s meaning.

“He wants to know…why you have drug tests,” he said as he leaned back into his chair and folded his arms, confident he solved the misunderstanding.

The rest of the group became distracted for a moment, but returned to Pat’s question.

“Pat, are you trying to say that the hospital is not doing their job correctly by keeping the drugs out?” I said tiredly.

“Yes.” He agreed loudly.

Immediately, Ben came to the defense of the hospital.

“Oh, no, no, no,” he waved his finger. “It is the patient’s problem.”

“Then what the hell do you think we’re all doing here? We all have problems,” Jack Jack said. To the group’s enjoyment, the old Jack Jack was back.

Ben looked at Jack Jack in disgust, and knew that he again had a fight on his hands; but it was not all anger that he exuded toward him. He had grown accustomed to his battles with Jack Jack and looked to welcome his formidable foe.

“The staff here at this wonderful hospital has been doing everything in its power to…”

“Oh, here we go again, your head is so far up their asses you might as well just pop your shoulders in,” Jack Jack said as he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and what’s the deal with all the staff watching us like we’re prisoners? You know, we can leave at any time, and you guys won’t get your precious insurance money,” Bobby interjected, as he threw more fuel on the fire.

Immediately, everyone started to make their grievances known, even William, who barely spoke. This continued as Maureen tried to calm the group, but her words fell on deaf ears as everyone became consumed by the general argument.

She had enough as she leaned back in her chair and stared ahead, waiting for everyone to become tired and quiet. Eventually, her wish was granted as we realized we spoke to no one except ourselves.

“Is everybody done?” she said with a deep breath.

If she was not going to participate in our little game, there was no use playing.

“Good, now before I answer Pat’s question, I want everyone to understand it is the only question I am going to answer, and after it, we will get back to the learning plan…understand?”

We all grudgingly agreed.

“If drugs are coming into the facility, I’m sure Dr. Lyedecker will be questioning security and will be addressing other issues to the matter. As for ‘them’ watching you like you’re prisoners, if you’re not guilty, then you shouldn’t be worried about anything,” she said sternly.

“But that was two questions you answered,” William said in an undermining tone.

Her face started to pulse as her anger reached its threshold. “You can leave, William. If you’re only going to be detrimental to this group, instead of helpful, you can go.”

To everyone’s shock, out of all the people to pick from, she chose William. A person who had barely completed one sentence in group since the day he arrived. Apparently, she had finally had enough and William was the unlucky bastard who had the misfortune to receive her frustration.

Hesitantly, he stood, walked toward the door, and opened it. He looked back for some sort of reprieve, which did not come.

“And if anyone asks you why you’re out there, you explain to them that you were disruptive to the group and it will not be tolerated.”

The door closed and everyone turned toward Maureen.

“Hey, come on, he had nothing to do with this,” Jack Jack said sympathetically.

“Well, then you should have thought of it before you started. And if you don’t like it, you are more than welcome to leave.”

Maureen and Jack Jack battled each other with stares, but Maureen had too much anger built up inside and Jack Jack knew this. Reluctantly, he said nothing further, and again Maureen began the group session.

That day, and only for the rest of that day, we listened diligently to the orders placed by Maureen; cautious, we did not cross them. Good little schoolchildren we all agreed we would be, until the end. We gave Maureen her due, for the next day would be another day filled with anxiety and questions.

After our daily group prayer, we quietly left the room to discover that the real action was out in the hallway. As we joined in the flood of patients, we noticed Dr. Lyedecker, Carl, and a few other security personnel had stormed out of the elevator and headed directly to a specific room. The crowd before them dispersed like the red sea as they plunged forward.

We all rushed down the hall and landed by the group of tables, and pretended to read the newspaper in order to get a front row seat of the happenings. We waited, imagining the situation, when Dr. Lyedecker and one of the security personnel exited and waited. Next to exit was a shock to most, but not to Jack Jack and me. Big Toledo exited the room, with Carl behind him, carrying his suitcases. With head in hand, he tried to hide his shame from the curious onlookers; some he knew, some were just passing strangers. They paraded him down the hall as a warning to others. I fully understood the meaning of the words “gentle giant” as I watched the quiet tiptoeing of Big Toledo; for he believed that if he was not heard, he was not seen. But his constant whimpers made heavy the situation as he marched like a Thanksgiving float down the center of Main Street.

But someone was missing from the equation, Jack Jack believed, as he continuously looked back at Danny’s room. Bobby, in the meantime, had no shame at all, as he slowly waddled and sidled next to Carl.

“So…what’s going on?” he said.

Carl remained silent and continued to follow the parade.

With the tension still thick, Jack Jack sprung to his feet, the impressions from his fingers embedded into the armrest of the chair in which he’d been sitting. He pushed his way through the waves of patients; as Sam and I struggled to follow, he stopped in front of his room and looked back one last time. The parade was gone.

“Now Jack, just try to calm down,” I said.

“Yeah, shit happens. Just live and let it go,” Sam added.

A calm and peace relaxed Jack Jack’s face. He had made a decision.

“Matt, you helped me once before, and I want to know if you will help me just one more time?” he asked in a calm voice.

A little scared of the question, I searched for the words. “Jack, uh, I don’t know if…”

“Will you help me or not?” he pushed.

Scared and confused, I blurted out the word. “Yes.”

Sam knew he was next and stuck his fingers in his ears. “La, la, la, la, la.”

“We’ve been good friends, Sam, so I know I can count on you.”

The decision had been made, regardless of Sam’s childish attempts to avoid the situation.

We quietly sat in Sam’s room and I periodically looked at him for an answer to the predicament we found ourselves in. But he remained quiet.

“Great. Now what?” I said as Sam shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t think he’s gonna kill him?”

“No, that’s not Jack.”

I couldn’t stand the suspense and bolted up from the desk chair.

“All right, this is nonsense. We have absolutely no obligation to him. So, if you want to come with me, I’m leaving,” I said, agitated.

“That’s good enough for me.”

As though we’d received a pardon from the governor, we marched into the hall, when a loud whisper called our names, a whisper that we hoped we would not hear. As we turned around, we noticed Jack Jack in Danny’s doorway, and he waved us over. Reluctantly, we walked over to Jack Jack and hoped and prayed he hadn’t killed Danny. In the room, we noticed Danny as he lay on the floor. Our worst fears had been answered. Jack Jack saw our expressions and immediately tried to calm us before we drew attention to the situation.

“What the hell, you two?” he said as he grabbed the front of our shirts and dragged us into the room. “Do you honestly think I was going to kill him? I cold cocked the S.O.B. and he hit his head on the desk, knocking himself out. Now, I need you guys to do something for me really quick. Don’t worry. You’re not going to get into any trouble.”

In a daze and preoccupied with the body as it lay on the floor, Sam and I followed Jack Jack’s orders.

“Sam, if you see Lyedecker, Carl, or any of the other security coming, just knock on the doorframe and we’ll cut through the bathroom to the other room. Matt, I need you to help me tie him down.”

He tore off the bed sheets, twirled them into makeshift ropes, and set them on the far bed. He walked over to Danny and struggled to lift him by his shoulders.

“Are you going to help me or not?” he pleaded with me. “We have to do this quick!”

I walked over and grabbed Danny’s legs. We hoisted him up, waddled over to the bed closest to the door, and heaved him onto it; his limp body bounced as his arms fell to the side of the bed.

Jack Jack grabbed the makeshift ropes and handed them to me as I stood at the side of the bed, staring at the blood that oozed from the cut on Danny’s forehead, and the bruise on his jaw that had started to change colors.

“I want you to tie his hand with the end of the sheet and slide it under the bed. Then, do the same with his foot,” he said anxiously. “And make sure it is tight.”

This thing that lay before me used to be human, but now it resembled nothing of what it could have been as a child, with its limbs stretched in a star shape, and ropes as tight as guitar strings. I slid the sheet under the bed, and waited for his next order.

“I tried to protect Michael, but I couldn’t. And if he thinks he’s going to treat anyone like his bitch, then it’s time he’s going to be my bitch,” said Jack Jack as he grabbed the blanket and tied it to Danny’s right ankle.

Sam had been keeping a vigilant eye between the room and the hall; his knuckles pressed hard against the steel doorframe.

As I watched Jack Jack’s hair bounce with every forceful yank, his face started to glisten from sweat, highlighting the desperation in his eyes.

“Michael?” I asked.

“What?” Jack Jack looked up, confused.

“You said ‘Michael.’”

Jack Jack looked back down and took a step back. He pulled a plastic bag from his pocket and set it on the nightstand.

“Yeah. Big Toledo’s real name is Michael. Why, didn’t you know?”

Ashamed, I lowered my eyes. I had never bothered to learn Big Toledo’s real name.

“All right, you can go. I’ll take care of the rest,” Jack Jack said as he led me out the door.

I didn’t question Jack Jack’s actions, as I walked out into the hall with Sam and the door closed behind us.

With blank stares, we parted ways. I wanted to erase the last few minutes of my life. I wished the green carpet didn’t appear worn.

I entered the room as Pat sat at the desk yet again and tried to write a letter.

“You’re not going to lunch?” he asked.

“No. After what happened, I just don’t feel hungry.”

I rested my hands on my chest and, with a deep breath, I looked up to the ceiling and tried to make sense of the morning’s events. Interrupted by the constant tapping of Pat’s pen, I sat up; but before I could utter one syllable, I noticed Dr. Lyedecker, Carl, and the security from before walk past the door. Sad, I accepted the worst and watched the events unfold.

“What’s going on now?” Pat said as he turned around.

“I don’t know yet…so…” My voice faded.

But we were not the only faces that appeared from their rooms. The hallway was littered with patches of people as we watched Dr. Lyedecker stomp into Danny’s room. Immediately, Carl rushed in as Pat and the rest of the floor filled the hall to try to get a better view.

“Boy, this is better than watching what happened to Big Toledo!” Pat said. Disheartened, I floated on the green carpet.