The Drowning Guard: A Novel of the Ottoman Empire (21 page)

“ ‘This is an indulgence on my son’s part,’ she complained. ‘Let me sit there next to you, for my aged legs bother me. I’m far too old for this nonsense.’

“The Valide lowered herself slowly to the marble bench while the servant girls served iced lemon-barley water to the two ladies.

“ ‘I was thirteen when the Sultan’s father first took me to his bed. But this was different. I had already had my fourth menses. Sophie is just ten and not yet a woman.

“ ‘This is a waste of my son’s seed. The girl cannot conceive a child! It is merely an indulgence,’ she repeated. ‘Haven’t I been a good mother in procuring the most beautiful women of the Empire? Why does he choose this yearling to take to his bed?

“ ‘What spills on the sheets could have been better used on one of the older girls. This girl steals my son’s virility and my grandchildren!’

“The old woman rubbed her aching hands.

“ ‘Have you spoken to Sophie about her expected conduct tonight?’ asked my mother.

“ ‘No. I ask that you perform that task. I fear I might frighten her with talk of her duties in the bedroom. You and Esma are family to her, it will be better for you to tell her. Please remember to tell her not to touch the scar on the side of his right thigh. It still pains him from time to time. Ah, but here I am telling you something that you know better than I! You see, I really am too old to oversee my son’s harem.’

“My mother bowed. Yes, she would prepare Sophie.”

Ivan Postivich could not sleep that day. He felt some sense of bother, like a worm digging deep in his soul, that left his mind unquiet and incapable of taking his rest. He blamed the boys who swept the rooms as if it were they who disturbed his sleep. He cursed the straw mattresses, he cursed the heat. Sweat
beaded on his forehead and ran rivulets into his eyes, stinging them with salt.

He could not stop thinking about Sophie. He arrived early in the audience hall and paced the tiled passage, waiting for Esma Sultan to call for him.

Esma Sultan saw the harrowed look on his face when he entered. He sighed and bent down on his knees to approach her.

“Stand, Corbaci Kadir. I cannot abide seeing you crawl to me like a insect.”

Ivan Postivich nodded and rose to his feet.

“I have been busy all day, making preparations for my brother the Sultan’s birthday celebration. It shall be a fête to equal no other. Ah, and the cirit—”

Ivan Postivich’s eyes opened wide. “Cirit?”

“Ah, now I have your attention. Yes, a game of cirit amongst the Kapikulu Cavalry to start off the festivities.”

Esma Sultan watched the drowning guard’s face fall as he realized he could not ride.

“What would you give to play again?” asked Esma Sultan.

“Forgive me, Sultaness. You play with me, like a cat with a mouse.”

“Anything is possible if I will it,” she answered, her eyes lingering on his face. She looked up at the painting of the Persian princess and harem girls playing polo.

“Do I bore you with my stories of little girls?” she asked.

“No,” he said quietly. “No.”

Esma Sultan drew in her breath and slowly exhaled.

“I am pleased. I cannot say why, but as I unburden my memory of such miserable memories, I breathe more calmly and sleep as if I were a child again.”

She then took a sip of barley water and continued the tale of Sophie.

“When Sophie emerged from the hamam, her wrists and hands were colored with fine, curving lines and dots of henna. We dressed her in silks and braided her long blond hair with pearls, pinning it up with clips of sapphires and diamonds.

“Every now and then, her body shook and the pearls clicked against one another. She was beautiful, but she was still very much a child.

“ ‘Esma, send the servants away and open the fountain. I must speak in confidence.’

“I ordered the eunuch and slaves attending us to leave. Knowing that my mother must speak of the Sultan’s bed, they complied quickly. I opened the fountain pipes myself, so that no one could eavesdrop on our conversation.

“It was then I gave my mother the embroidered handkerchief. She clasped it to her heart and praised Nakshidil as if she were her sister.

“ ‘This shall give all of us strength,’ she said, tracing the delicate threads of the linen.

“She sat beside Sophie. ‘Calm yourself, daughter,’ she said. ‘It is really not bad and the old Sultan does not linger in finishing his task. It will be over before you can recite the full rosary.’

“ ‘Mother!’ I exclaimed in horror. ‘What blasphemy! Say a prayer to Allah before you are cursed forever.’

“My mother’s eyes flashed at me and I could see their depths. How could I have lived my life with this woman and not known?

“She smiled wearily as if relieved to finally share her secret.

“ ‘Esma, I was cursed when I was kidnapped at your age from my home in Circassia. I have brought you up to be a good Muslim and an Ottoman princess, but you must grant me the comfort of my own religion. And this girl is being forced to become a woman before her time, which is a sin in the eyes of any god. She shall take her religion in her heart to comfort her, or she shall die of shame. If you love me and you love her, you will allow us to speak to our God of birth and baptism.’

“I, who was brought up reciting sura after sura of the Koran by heart, merely gaped. I was torn between my love for Sophie and the religion that was as much a part of me as my bones and blood. I could not believe that my mother still clung to a pagan faith and I was embarrassed for her ignorance, but hungry for the secrets she had buried so well in her heart.

“ ‘But Mother! You will not enter heaven!’ I wailed.

“ ‘What heaven does the Ottoman faith promise for woman? I shall die a Christian as I was born and another woman, the Virgin—be she virgin or not, for certainly I do not care—shall comfort me in death in a way that no man could.’

“Without hesitating further, my mother took Sophie’s hand.

“ ‘When you enter the Sultan’s room you must remove your clothes slowly and gracefully, taking time to turn so that he may see you entirely. His eyes are weak so stay close to him but not so close that he grabs you.

“ ‘When you are finally undressed, bow and kiss his feet. Linger there, for he has a weakness for that touch, and you will make quick work of his arousal and
pleasure. He may beg you to move up his body, but ignore his pleas until he takes you by the hair.’

“Then my mother went on to explain to Sophie how she should proceed in the Sultan’s bedroom. She explained secrets no child should ever know.

“I heard her say, ‘You are to take it in your mouth.’

“I stood as still as marble, repulsed, fascinated.

“ ‘At this time, you are to move it between your lips as if you were savoring a sherbet. This will quickly arouse him, so the ugly deed will finish more quickly.’

“Sophie was pale, but she listened, unblinking. I stared in horror, marveling at her composure and her concentration on my mother’s words

“ ‘I know this will repulse you, terrify you. You must begin the rosary in your heart. This is your silent strength that will see you through this hour.

“ ‘Imagine the Holy Mother above you, forgiving and blessing you, for she loves most dearly women in desperate need.

“ ‘And you will endure, Sophie. We all do. I will bathe you myself when you return.’

“I covered my mouth. I whispered ‘Allah,’ as my stomach convulsed and then stared silently at my own mottled vomit on the marble floor.”

T
he janissary listened to Esma Sultan’s tale and although he was aroused, he was also bewildered.

“And so women of the Royal Serail approach the Sultan like whores in a brothel?”

Esma Sultan lifted her chin, her eyes challenging him.

“Did you not expect it? They are slaves, after all, no matter how many jewels they possess or how many eunuchs serve them. Slaves to men. My knowledge of sex before this moment was confined to gossip—and watching the eunuch and the fat woman in the hamam. I could not imagine my little friend Sophie subjected to such filth at the hands of my own father.”

Ivan Postivich grunted. “What happened to the girl, then?”

Esma Sultan lifted an eyebrow.

“At last I have your attention, Biscuit. Sophie just stared, wide-eyed, as if she had realized the horror in her nightmares already. She nodded and did not cry at all as my mother finished her instructions. Then my mother did one more thing to amaze me.

“Kneeling on the carpets of our apartment, my mother sought a crack in a loose tile near the fountain. She tugged at it, bringing up crumbles of clay and mortar. In the space beneath the tile, she found a small piece of red silk. Untying the bundle, she picked up a tiny crucifix dangling on a pure gold chain.

“ ‘This is for you, Sophie,’ she said. ‘I no longer need it to remember my faith. But you may.’

“She replaced the tile and dipped her fingers in the fountain, scrubbing away the dirt on the tips of her snow-white fingers. Then she held up the white linen handkerchief from Nakshidil and spoke in Serbo-Croatian so that Sophie could fully comprehend.

“ ‘Long ago, the faith of the pagan Arabs, Persians, and those of this land embraced women and their gentle natures; some deities were female. Mohammed spoke highly of women. He honored them and made the Arab men pledge to protect them.

“ ‘The Prophet was born in Mecca, but they rejected him there. He fled to Medina, forming his own religion and followers. But his heart always belonged his his homeland.

“ ‘With his success in Medina, the Prophet longed to persuade the people of Mecca to leave their worship of Diana of the sun and of Al-ilah, the moon, and embrace Allah. The Arabs of Mecca were steadfast in their adoration of the female and especially the three stars that accompanied the moon, the three gentle daughters of Diana and Al-ilah. It was the star Al-Lat who interceded for them in their prayers to Al-ilah.’

“ ‘The crescent moon and the star,’ I thought. It was at that moment that I realized there was some bone of truth to my mother’s ravings. The sliver of moon and its adjacent star are the symbols of our land, even today, despite religion’s every attempt to purge them.

“My mother turned towards me with those clear blue eyes of hers. She saw that I was beginning to understand her at last.

“She continued speaking to Sophie, although I knew now that she was speaking for me to hear as well. ‘The people of Mecca cast Mohammed out, for he was provoking unrest. He was banished from Mecca and settled in Medina with his followers. Still he could not abide the loss of his homeland and longed to bring the people of Mecca into the fold of his newfound religion, so that they might hear the word of the true God.

“ ‘It was then that Gabriel came to him and spoke words that praised the deified women. The angel said’—and now my mother read the words embroidered on the handkerchief—‘
These are the exalted Females, and verily their intercession is to be hoped for
.’

“ ‘When Mohammed spoke Gabriel’s good words to the people of Mecca, they rejoiced, for it seemed his faith embraced their own sacred daughters and Diana herself. Had not an angel of God pronounced as much? They feasted and kissed
the earth, swearing their allegiance to him, for this prophet had surely spoken the words of Allah himself. An old man, too crippled to prostrate himself, took dirt in his fists and rubbed it over his chest, declaring allegiance to Allah.

“ ‘When the Prophet returned to Medina and told his men about his encounter with Gabriel and the words spoken of Al-Lat, they were aghast. They had pledged themselves to Mohammed the Prophet, and the one God Allah, but the idea of women interceding in the matters of men challenged the patriarchy. Before the appearance of Gabriel to the Prophet, there had been no talk of a goddess that would come between them and Allah, the Father. What talk was this of heavenly women, of intervention? Surely the words that Mohammed had heard were a trick of the devil and not the words of God’s Angel, but of Satan himself.

“ ‘What happened then is unrecorded. But it is clear that men’s pride and outrage eroded the word of Gabriel. We believe the men who surrounded the Prophet convinced him to retract his own words, despite his deep love of his wives and women of the world.’ ”