The Drifting (50 page)

I close my eyes
again
and calm my breathing, concentrating on the flow of my breath…in…out…in…out.  I feel my body relaxing and sinking into the bed anchoring itself to it.  I sit up and turn to stare at myself lying still.  Why is it when I go into the
drift
state it’s always when I look like crap?  I’m still in the clothes I had on when I went to dinner earlier.  I didn’t even remove my dirty boots.  My hair is tangled and in a mess thanks to Tharin insisting I wear it down.  I should get back in my body and freshen up…screw it.  He’ll have to deal with it.

Out of habit, I pull my hood low over my face as I make my way to the living area, ignoring how the rooms feel so empty.  Once outside, I can’t ignore how the hallway seems quieter than usual and a sense of wariness comes over me.  It’s usually quiet on this floor, but it seems eerily quiet tonight.  I know the king’s suites are next to his wife
’s
and they both take up this entire corridor.  I stick to the shadows and step lightly, not taking any chances in being discovered.  What if his father just happens to come by?  I’m pretty sure Tharin said his father was someone who could
sense
those in the
drift
state.

I step quickly to the corner melting into the shadows when someone
approaches from
the direction I came.  I wait for him to pass
,
only to be surprised when he stops at my suite door
s
.  He’s wearing a hooded cloak, his face hidden and something inside me freezes.  Something evil emits from him and I try to sink deeper into the shadows, quickly averting my eyes to a spot just past him.  He stops, looks my way and waits.  After what seems like an eternity, he faces my doors again and reaches for it.  A green glow appears at his touch, burning his outstretched hand.  He pulls back instantly, cur
s
ing under his breath
.  He pauses to look
my way
again
before turning and fleeing down the hall
from
where he came.

I wait a few minutes list
en
ing to the loud beating of
my
heart
.  After getting my breath under control, I move from the corner and move into the next hallway
.  I want to get to Tharin as soon as possible and tell him of the hooded man at my door.  In the
next
corridor
,
there are only two sets of suites.  The princes, Tharin and Tolan
–
but I don’t know which is which.  Taking a chance
that the first set of doors belongs to
Tharin, I move toward them
quickly
and enter. 

I find myself standing in a living space that’s nothing like his mother’s.  Here the furniture is simple, elegantly solid and very sparse.  The walls are also
made
of exotic wood, at least from what I can see in the dark.  There are long sideboards along two of the walls,
and near them I notice Tharin’s boots.  Good, I have the right suite.  The far wall is
stenciled with what looks like the tree I saw in the war room, only it’s not in a picture frame but painted right onto the wall.  I
move farther in and look down a short
hallway that consists of two doors facing each other
–
spare rooms.  I ignore these and head for the large double doors that lead to the master bedroom. 

I find myself standing in the dark room and the feeling that I shouldn’t be here comes over me.  Like the front rooms, the bedroom is sparse with only a large dresser, the huge bed in the middle of
the room and a life-
size
d
portrait of a woman.  I make my way to the painting and stand close to have a better look.  The woman is beyond breathlessly beautiful.  The features are there and so are the green eyes, full of life, love and a sense of peace
–
Tharin and Tolan’s mother.  Tall and elegant in what looks like a gold gown and on top of her head is a delicate gold crown with diamonds interlace
d
in
gold oak leaves
.  In her arm is
a mini-me
of herself, all smiles.  The other, identical to the young boy she’s holding, stands at her side holding her hand.  His young face is so serious I chuckle quietly knowing instant
ly
who he is.

I turn when I hear Tharin moan and I smile at how I would even recognize him
even in the dark
.  I move toward the bed and the closer I get to him the more of him I see.  One muscular bare leg is on top of his sheets.  The sheets
barely cover
of him and if he moves in a certain way he
will
be fully exposed.  His arm is at his side and I watch the black panther dance when his muscles ripple and flex as he moves.  He reaches for his head as he tries to sit up
, exposing his ribs, chest
and a flat
,
hard stomach I remember too well from the clearing.  And there’s so much more…so much more that I’m almost afraid to move in closer.  Almost.

I take a st
ep as he sleepily tries to rise, still
holding his head as if to shake off the cobwebs.  I feel excited and happy to see him only to jerk to a sudden stop mid-step.  “Kalis,” he calls out at the same time reaching out for something or someone.  Nothing can explain what I’m feeling
at
this moment and nothing can feel worse.  But I’ve been wrong before.  Another hand, smaller and more feminine, moves up along his arm until it reaches and intertwines fingers with his.  Coming forward to lay her head on his bare shoulder is Kalis, hair mussed and rumpled, and she’s obviously
as
naked as he is.  Sleepily she calls his name, “Tharin.”

I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe.  Someone please help me breathe.  As if noticing her for the first time, Tharin moves away from her sleepily, dropping his exposed leg to the floor as if to get up.  He turns away from her and turns to face me
,
freezing in place.  His eyes wide with shock, his mouth drops open and it’s as if time has come to a standstill
.  Now wide-
awake, he looks down at his nudeness and grabs the sheets to cover himself.  He then looks back at Kalis who reaches for him again only to have him push her away.  He turns to me stunned and shaking his head in denial stumbling toward me, “No…it’s not what you
–
”

I
don’t
let him finish.  I run toward the front rooms and I almost make it to the suite doors when Tharin appears in front of me now dressed in what looks like loose sweat shorts.  His hands are up trying to keep me from leaving, but it’s too much for me as the air I was trying to catch earlier is now slamming down my throat, forcing me to take it in gulps.  I can feel the hot tears threatening to spill over.  I try to keep my eyes on anything but him.  Damn it
.  H
ow do I disappear and return to my own room?  I can’t remember and I can’t think, can’t concentrate. 

“Lily…please…it’s not what you think…this isn’t real…”

This isn’t real?  She looked pretty damn real to me and so does he in all his goddamn nakedness.  Anger…no
,
a rage, a deep angry rage from inside burns through me and I throw out my hand.  Tharin is thrown
back, hitting
the door with the force of my
emotions,
slamming him against it.  He gathers himself quickly and his own hands come up.  A force much stronger than mine catches my next attack
,
and the next and the next and every one thereafter.  He takes slow steps toward me brushing off everything and anything I throw at him.  I can feel my energy draining
until I’m finally
exhausted
and he’s standing
directly in front of me, his face hard but calm.  Suddenly, Tharin
drops heavily
to his knees and
falls
unconscious at my feet.  Panic takes over and fear grips at my heart.  Oh God…
I killed him!

“Lily,” calls Tharin to the right of me now in the
drifting
state.  I gasp with relief and I don’t know whether to start hauling more energy blast or rush into his arms and hold him for dear life.  Anger won over and I rush at him aiming to hit him across the face.  He easily catches my wrists
and pulls
me to him, holding on tight.

“Tharin?” 
Her voice is soft, slightly confused and seductively sleepy. 
Kalis calls for him from the bedroom doors.  I keep my eyes close
d
, not wanting to see her naked and I turn my head away.  “Tharin!” she
yells,
probably noticing for the first time his body lying on
the floor.  I feel Tharin lift
his arm and send a burst of energy that knocks Kalis back into the room and I hear the double doors slam shut. 
For a moment, all is quiet.

“Lily,” he says softly, but I shake my head at him and cover my ears refusing to listen.  I shrug off his arms and step back, turning away
,
not wanting to look at him.  Instead
,
I face his prone body on the floor.  I quickly look away
,
setting my eyes on the door and without waiting, I move toward it.  “Lily, please…just…”  I’m outside of the suites and I
finally
remember that all I need to do is think of my body and I’ll be there. 

I sit up with a knife in my chest.  This pain…this is the pain…the one the girls in the bathroom cry over and want to kick that “bitch’s” ass; the pain that
causes
the heroine in every rom
-
com movie
to
run away to distant, foreign countries; this is the pain that destroys love, trust and leaves you falling in a pit with no bottom.  What I thought this pain was before was only a test drive for the real deal. 

I turn
toward the doors when they open on their own.  Tharin.  I jump out of
the bed, refusing to go in
to the
drifting
…why?  What more can be said?  The bastard was caught red-handed and then he continues to treat me like a kid by saying it’s not real?  Yeah, that’s it…it’s all my goddamn imagination. 

“Leave me alone, Tharin.  I need to rest for the big event tomorrow.  You know the whole damn Seating thing to save your damn realm.  You got what you wanted, I’m here and I’ll stick to my promise.  But after all this is over I never want to see your ugly
, pointy
ear
ed
face ever again you…you
ho!
”

I jump when a jewelry box goes flying across the room smashing into the wall.  I grab my chest, actually frighten
ed
by his anger.  I look at the contents from the box lying all over the floor, the box smashed into pieces.  My anger returns and looking up I point at the shattered pieces
,
fuming through clenched teeth, “That was your mother’s, you idiot.  Go throw your tantrum with your warrior
goddess
lying naked in your bed.”