The Dreamtrails (51 page)

“It is not your fault,” Reuvan said softly, kneeling beside the rock where I sat. He pressed a mug of something hot into my hands and wrapped a warm cloak around my shoulders, bidding me come back to the compound, for nothing could be done until the tide was right. Helvar wanted to meet Sabatien and speak of the future. “Come back with us.”

“I cannot feast and plan, knowing what is coming to the west coast,” I said blackly.

“Drink something at least,” Reuvan insisted, pushing the mug gently toward my mouth. I sipped a mouthful of the hot, spiced fement, because the effort of refusing was too great, but my teeth chattered against the rim. The fiery brew warmed the chill in my bones and gut, but it did not touch the ice that had formed about my heart. I could think of no words to say, so I drank until the mug was empty and handed it back to the seaman. I saw pity in his eyes and wondered why he would pity me. It was not I who faced death.

As if he had heard the thought, he said, “It is hardest when you can do nothing.”

“Go with them,” I said. “I need to be alone now, but I will return after a while.”

“Very well,” he sighed, and departed.

I sat for a long time staring blankly out to sea. My head was spinning slightly because of the fement, but I was only dimly aware of the others leaving. I was glad none of them came to talk to me, for I had no desire for conversation. It was not until my chin hit my chest that I woke up enough to realize I had fallen into a near stupor sitting there. I told myself that I ought to return to the compound and sleep rather than indulging in an orgy of pointless grief and guilt. But the effort of rising was beyond me.

If there had been a bed laid out beside me, I would have fallen gratefully into it. As it was, I was sitting upon a rock on a pale beach running down to a gray ruffled sea, with no idea how I was going to get myself anywhere. A delicate rosy light bloomed along the horizon, limning the crippled
Stormdancer
. A seam of dazzling silver opened along the horizon to allow the day to be born, and as the sun rose at last, streams of pale gold light pierced the thinning clouds to give a shimmering edge to the waves rolling in, and the mist wove a gauzy rainbow.

And quite suddenly,
I knew what I must do
.

I got to my feet, shrugging off both the cloak Reuvan had laid about my shoulders and the Herder robe I had worn, and I walked the few steps to the sea’s edge. I slipped off my shoes and stepped into the waves. The water was very cold, but I went deeper until I felt it seeping through my clothes to touch my warm skin with icy fingers. I had to brace myself against the strong incoming tide to prevent being pushed back toward the shore. When at last my mouth was level with the water, I shouted aloud and inside my mind.

“Maruman!” I called as I had done before.

Nothing happened, and as I stood there waiting, all the
fatigue I had shed seeped back into me, bringing with it leaden despair.

“Fool,” I muttered.

A movement at the edge of my vision made me turn, and I was startled to see Cinda racing down the beach toward me, her black hood flung back, her eyes wide with alarm. She waved her arms wildly, and knowing she could not call out to me, I waded wearily back to shore.

“What is the matter?” I asked, and entered her mind so she could answer me.

“I kept thinking of you, alone here,” she told me. “When my brother died, I blamed myself for surviving, but what could I have done to stop his death?” She looked out across the strait. “You must not blame yourself for what you cannot change.” Her voice was kind but stern.

“I sent many of my friends to the west coast, and now they will die because they did what I asked. How should I not blame myself?”

The shadow did not answer, but after a long minute, she said, “I saw you go into the water. You went so purposefully that I … I thought …” She stopped, her face darkening in a blush.

“You thought I meant to drown myself?” I asked gently.

“There were times over the years when I wished I would die. After they cut out my tongue and when I learned of my brother’s death. But if I died, I never would have met Elkar.” She glanced toward the compound.

“He loves you,” I said aloud.

She smiled.

“I was not trying to die. I sought to call a ship fish to me,” I told her aloud. Because I had not withdrawn my probe, my emotions and thoughts were laid bare, and Cinda gasped at
what she saw fleetingly in my mind.

“You can speak with the minds of ship fish?” she marveled.

“One saved me once, but I must have been mad to imagine I could call it to me here.”

Cinda nodded, but all at once, her eyes widened, and she pointed back over my shoulder to the sea.

I turned to see a fin cleaving through the waves, and hope flowed through me like hot fement. Without hesitation, I ran back into the water. The fin vanished, and I stopped, confused. Then a silvery shining head emerged from the water in front of me. Trembling, I stretched out my hand, but the ship fish neither approached nor retreated. It waited, its liquid eyes fixed on me. I was but a finger length away when it surged forward, pressing its head to my palm. It was not Ari-roth.

“This one is Vlar-rei. Name of Ari-noor, podsister to Ari-roth. Come now and this one will bear she where she must go, Morred-a,” the ship fish belled.

I turned back to where Cinda stood shivering at the water’s edge and shouted, “She will bear me across the strait. It is the only chance we have of saving the west coast, and there is no time to waste. Tell the others. Bid them repair the
Stormdancer
and sail to Sutrium. Dardelan and the rebels must be warned not to cross the Suggredoon until the next full moon, just in case I cannot stop the plague. Whatever happens will be over then.”

Cinda wrung her hands and shook her head helplessly, but I threw my hand over the ship fish, taking care to avoid her blowhole. As she turned and began to swim strongly straight out to sea, I looked back and caught a glimpse of Cinda lifting a hand slowly. By the time I managed to get a better grip
and lift my own hand, the girl was no more than a shadow on the sand.

Soon the cold I had experienced upon entering the water faded, along with my mind-numbing exhaustion. This told me that Ari-noor was feeding me spirit energy as her pod-sister had done.

“Morred-a is smaller than this one expected,” she sang. Her tone and manner were more formal than Ari-roth’s, but I had the same soothing sense of her gliding presence in my mind.

“Ari-roth spoke of me to you?” I asked.

“The waves know the name of Morred-a. It will be a long journey for she,” Ari-noor sang enigmatically with several gloomy subnotes. “Longer than the journey with Ari-roth and longer than the journey made by the calf of Mornir-ma. Morred-a must not take shortsleep lest longsleep come. Must not let ohrana flow into dreamwaves. Morred-a must never, ever, let go of Ari-noor.”

I tightened my grip and thought about what she had said.

By the “calf of Mornir-ma,” she must mean Dragon, confirming once and for all that the red-haired waif had been brought to the Land by sea creatures after she and her mother had been stolen from the Red Land. And so
Mornir-ma
must be a title given by the Vlar-rei to the Red Queens, or maybe to beastspeakers who could commune with them. But what had she meant by warning me against letting my ohrana flow into the dreamwaves?
Ohrana
was the name Ari-roth had used to describe her aura or spirit form, so dreamwaves might be the spirit form cast by the sea; after all, mountains, fire, and all manner of inanimate things cast spirit forms. If I was right, the ship fish had warned me not to let my spirit merge with
the spirit of the waves. But that made no sense, for I would have to
assume
my spirit form even to see or be aware of the dreamwaves. Unless dreamwaves were more closely connected to the real sea than the dreamtrails were connected to real places on land.

A different thought occurred to me. If the dreamwaves were connected to the dreamtrails, it might be that Atthis was using the ship fish, just as she used land beasts, to protect and aid me. Yet it was hard to imagine a bird, even one as ancient and powerful as the Elder of the eldar, manipulating these strange fish.

A wave slapped me hard in the face, almost dislodging me, and I tightened my grip. Ari-noor had warned me sternly not to let go of her. I would certainly be left behind swiftly if I did so, for we were cleaving through the water at a far greater speed than Ari-roth had traveled. In truth, I did not see how the ship fish could maintain such a pace. But even if she slowed, I was sure that I would reach the west coast before Ariel’s null had time to spread the plague. I had asked Ari-noor to take me to Murmroth landing, because it was closest to Herder Isle. I would have to travel by foot to the city, if the
Black Ship
had docked there. If not, I would acquire a horse and immediately ride toward Aborium. As soon as I was close enough, I would farseek the Beforetime ruins where Jak and Dell had intended to set up a refuge. Then I would have all the help I needed in locating the null.

Something in the waves ahead caught my eye, and I squinted until I was able to make out a fin cutting through the water toward us. At first I thought it another ship fish, but then a chill ran down my spine, for this was the squat black fin of a shark!

“Yes,” Ari-noor sent calmly. “Many azahk are here. They
will not harm she while our ohrana are connected. But if Morred-a lost hold of this one, even for a moment, the azahk would catch she in its teeth.”

I tightened my grip convulsively. It was fortunate that I did, for suddenly we went from high swells to a great heaving and pulling and churning of white water that told me we had entered the strait’s tempestuous central current. I knew that ships preferred to take a gradual diagonal bearing across the strait, partly to avoid the stress of the contrary currents on their ship and partly to avoid a series of long, wickedly sharp, mostly submerged shoals called
The Teeth
. I had supposed that Ari-noor would cut directly across the strait, weaving through the shoals as effortlessly as she had done through the waves, but to my disappointment, she turned into the current. Our passage became immediately smoother, and if anything, our speed increased, yet this new course would take longer, for by the time we left the central current, we would be well down the coast. The ship fish would have to turn and swim back up the coast to deliver me to Murmroth.

In addition, the shark was following us.

Gritting my teeth, I told myself resolutely that the shark was the least of my worries, for Ari-noor was feeding me her energy, and as long as I held her, it would not attack. But my arms and back were already aching, and I had not even been in the water as long as I had when Ari-roth took me from the narrow inlet to the beach at Saithwold.

As the hours wore on, it was not the buffeting of the waves nor physical weariness that troubled me so much as the constant ominous presence of the sharks, for now there were three fins. Sometimes they circled us, as if to mock our slower progress; at other times, one would come near enough that I would see its blunt, pitted snout and blank, black eyes.

“Azahk ohrana is hungry,” Ari-noor observed, but her mindvoice was serene. I took this as an indication that I was in no danger, though I could not help wondering how a hungry spirit could be fed by eating flesh.

“What ohrana desires, flesh does echo,” Ari-noor sent imperturbably.

As if to underline her warning, a shark fin rose from the water so close to me that I could have stretched out my hand to touch it. I told myself that I was safe, but I also drew in my legs. After a long, anxious period, the fin turned and vanished beneath the waves’ churning surface. In relief, I relaxed, and my grip loosened slightly. Ari-noor immediately belled a warning, so I locked my muscles, ignoring their aching protest.

Time passed, and I tried to converse with Ari-noor to distract myself from the thirst and monotony of the journey, but my attempts to engage her won only reluctant and monosyllabic responses. Despite looking similar to her podsister, she was more reserved than Ari-roth and held herself aloof in my mind.

There was no sight of the land on any side now, and I began to fancy the light had changed subtly. Surely it was afternoon. I prayed so, for although I had no more to do than hold tight to the ship fish and be carried to my destination, there was something in the relentless movement of the waves and my being saturated to the bone that made me feel as if the water was sloughing away layers of my spirit. I imagined dreamily that when the last shred of it was gone, I would let go of the ship fish and drift helplessly into the blue void until the waiting sharks bit into my sodden flesh and spongy bones.

“Do not sleep!” Ari-noor sent with surprising sharpness.

I jerked awake, horrified to realize that I had begun to drowse—doubly horrified, for close by, a fin cut through the water like a dark knife. The shark circled away and vanished, as before, and I wondered with an internal shiver if it had come closer because it had sensed that I was falling asleep. Despite the fright I had given myself, my eyes still felt heavy and my mind sluggish. I cursed my stupidity for sitting awake on the beach the previous night instead of sleeping. Yet how could I have known what awaited me?