change unwanted patterns of behavior, and your dreams and visions can open up new options for doing so.
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Throughout her life, Shirley had taken a caregiver role with her younger sister Karen. Now, in middle age with her own children, Shirley wanted to create a different kind of relationship with her sister, one that allowed them to have a friendship as equals. Hard as she tried, though, she couldn't seem to break out of the old patterns. She became more and more frustrated until she worked on the following dream.
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 | | Help Me!
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| | I'm at a meeting in a hotel, sharing a room with Karen and some man. I try on his clothes, including a brown suit. Suddenly I realize that we haven't checked out yet, and that our plane reservations home haven't been confirmed. I get nervous. I go to the registration desk, but there's a long line. I feel more upset and angry. I notice that it's now 1:30, and that the plane is scheduled to leave at 2:30. I call Karen on the house phone and say, "Help me!" She says, "I'm too busy." I yell at her. She gets mad at me. I feel bad and apologize to her. I wonder what to do. I feel guilty and wrong.
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Shirley had this dream a week before her sister was scheduled to come visit her and her family for several days. Her strong feelings in the dream were a clue that there was something important there to work on. A group of friends on a weekend retreat helped her make sense of it. Shirley came to see that she had always felt responsible for making sure Karen had a good time and was happy, just as her father (in the brown suit) had done while he was alive. She had "tried on" this role, used it for a long time, and now it didn't fit her anymore. However, she hadn't "checked out" of the old family structure (the hotel) that kept her and her sister trapped. She wanted to
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