The Drake Unwound Complete Collection Book 9 (28 page)

"That's not fair," she said. "You let the rules fall by the wayside when it suits you, and enforce them when it suits you."

"I'm the Dominant. I'm the Master,” I said, realizing that I had failed in my duty to show her and teach her what she needed to know or else we wouldn’t be having the conversation. “It's my prerogative. You should re-read the agreement."

She pushed away from me and finally succeeded in escaping my grip. I let go, telling myself that I shouldn’t be restraining her. She had to come to this on her own. She had to
understand
.

"I'll rip the fucking agreement up." She stomped away but stopped at the door. "Look," she said, her fists clenched. "I
was
wrong to hide what happened with Kurt, but as far as I'm concerned, if you spank me, it will be overkill."

I went to her, my arms on either side of her, preventing her from moving. "In case you misunderstood, in our power exchange, I'm the one who decides about punishment. Your breaking the rules about lying was
not
accidental. It was intentional. You have to be punished. I choose the punishment."

I grabbed her arm, then sat on the bed and pulled her over my lap, one of my legs thrown over hers, confining her completely. She could only wriggle, her arms flailing to try to stop me, but I was able to control her, and gripped her hands in one of mine.

"You better not spank me," she said, her voice low.

"You better just take it,
Katherine
. You agreed that I'd punish you if you broke the rules,” I said, breathing in slowly and deeply, gaining control over my emotions. “Did you break the rules?"

She said nothing, so I waited. Finally, I repeated my question.

"Did you
break
the rules?"

She stopped fighting but was tense and did not answer.

"Katherine, I
promise
you, I've been doing this now for five years,” I said, finally in complete control. “I have more than enough patience to wait for you to reply properly."

"You're very selective about what and when you punish."

"That's my prerogative, as I said and as is spelled out in the agreement. Maybe we better sit down and re-read it.” I let that sink in for just a moment before continuing. “I've been exceptionally lenient with you since we've been together, but there are some things I can't tolerate. Lying is one of the things I
will
not tolerate. So once more, did you break the rules?"

She was tense, her breath coming in short gasps. "
Yes
."

"Yes, what?"

She held back, not answering right away but I waited her out. Finally, she gave in.

"Yes,
Master
."

"Good girl," I said and hiked up her nightgown above her ass, baring her buttocks. Once I saw them, my dick hardened despite my earlier anger and hurt. I couldn’t help but run my hand over them, enjoying their creamy smoothness, their plump roundness. "So nice and creamy white. It's too bad I'm going to have to make them all red."

"You don't
have
to do anything,” she said, her voice edged with anger. “You're choosing to do this."

"Yes, I am
,
Katherine," I said calmly. "A Dom has to have some standards. I've let mine slip with you because I love you so much, but if I don't enforce this rule, our relationship is doomed. I can't lose trust in you or this will fail." I leaned down and put my lips by her ear. "I don’t want to lose you." I kissed the skin on her bare shoulder. "I can't lose you. So, I want you to tell me what you did wrong. Complete openness Katherine. Complete honesty. No more hiding things from me."

She said nothing, but covered her eyes. "I saw a video of you with Sunita."

A shock went through me at that. "
What
?"

"Dawn sent it to me."

I breathed in deeply in an attempt not to overreact. She saw a video of me with Sunita?

Sunita had taken a video of our scenes. She liked to watch it over and over again. How had Kate seen the video?

"I told you about our relationship."

"Dawn tried to arrange a meeting between us but I said no.”

I tensed, barely able to believe what Kate said. "She
what
?"

“Then, she sent me the video. And because Maureen had said some things when she called that scared me, I…"

Maureen called Kate?

"
What
did Maureen say?" I asked, feeling like all the blood had drained out of my body, my heart pounding.

"She said you were barely under control. That you had a lot of anger bottled up inside. That I should think of that before I went to Africa with you."

Dammit… Adrenaline jolted through me, my cheeks heating. "And you thought watching a video of me with Sunita would help clarify how dangerous I am?"

           
"I'm sorry I didn’t tell you,” she said and her voice was truly repentant. “I didn’t want to upset you. I couldn’t believe Maureen said those things. I was going to tell you, but you weren't feeling well from the shots and then
you were sick…"

I fought to control myself, my breathing fast, my heart thumping in my chest. "That's three things, Katherine. Three things you kept from me." Then, I lay my hand over her ass.

"I don't want this," she said, but I could hear the resignation in her voice.

"But you want me to be your Master, Katherine, deep down,” I said for I knew it was true. She did want me to be her Master. That’s why she went looking and when she met me, she wanted me to be the one. I had no doubt about that. “I've been a bad Master, not controlling you well enough, or this would never have happened. I won't let that happen again. So you see, this is really my fault for letting my control slip. Now, I have to punish you even though I'd rather make love to you. I have to take your anger so that our relationship's re-established. We'll both feel better when it's over."

"Cut the psychobabble and do it," she said, her voice tinged with anger.

"It's not
psychobabble
and you know it,” I said, remembering with that one word why I was in love with her. She was smart. She was beautiful. She wanted submission, even if at times it seemed the opposite was true. “Remember your safe word."

"I won't use it."

I wouldn’t give in. I’d be a force of nature. An immovable object. That would make her feel safe. "Tell me what your safe word is."

She shook her head, fighting to the end.

"It's
red
, Katherine."

She said nothing, lying across my lap, waiting. She didn’t try to wriggle out of my grasp.

Finally, she exhaled loudly, giving in. "Just
do
it."

I smiled to myself while I stroked my hand over her buttocks, lingering over the small of her back, then slipping my fingers between her cheeks.

"When I'm ready."

"I
hate
you."

I stopped my motions, for I knew that she didn’t mean it, but still the words hurt and I knew she’d regret saying them later.

"
Don't
say that,” I said softy, trying not to sound hurt but failing, my throat choking. "Not even in a moment of anger."

She said nothing and did nothing and neither did I. I’d wait her out, my hand on her ass.

Then, I began to stroke my hand over her cheek once more.

"You
don't
hate me, Katherine. You love me.
Only
me. You said so yourself."

Then she spoke, her voice breaking. "I couldn’t help it that Kurt was there. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to have to deal with him. It's not my fault."

I leaned down, and tucked her hair behind her ear, my mouth beside her ear.

"You didn't have to lie about him. You should have told me about Sunita's video. You should have told me Maureen spoke to you about me."

"I
didn't
lie. I was going to tell you."

"I have no way of knowing if you would have,” I replied for I didn’t. She might never have spoken about it, hoping to avoid a confrontation or uncomfortable conversation. “Now, because you didn't tell me right away, how can I trust you? Three things, Katherine, that you held back. Three important things."

"You have to choose to trust me when I say I was going to tell you,” she replied. “You said that to me once, if I remember correctly."

I said nothing in response and considered her words. She was right. I had to choose to trust that she would have eventually told me. Something kept her from telling me – fear of my reaction. Lack of trust that I could take the truth without overreacting or removing my love.

She sighed. "I guess I didn't trust you enough yet to tell you. I guess I was afraid of what you'd do. I was afraid of you."

I stopped my motions immediately, but kept my hand on her buttock, hating to break our connection. It was as if she read my mind.

"Why?” I asked, wanting her to be as truthful as she could. “Have I ever done anything to make you afraid of me?"

She shook her head. "No. But maybe you didn't do enough to make me trust you completely. Every time I tried to talk, you shut me up. You'd go into Dom mode and we'd have sex and that was it. You've been under so much emotional stress and turmoil, I was afraid this would be one more thing to hurt you and upset you. It meant nothing to me so I didn’t feel it should matter to you, but I was afraid it would and I was right."

She was right – it did matter to me. I felt incredible jealousy that she’d been alone with Kurt. He was still a threat. She had been attracted to him once but had been afraid of her response to his clumsy attempts to introduce her to kink. Ethan had wanted them to be together and that meant something.

I was incredibly jealous of Kurt.

"That's exactly why you should have told me right away. I
would
have been upset. I would have been very jealous and hurt. But we would have discussed it, you could have reassured me that what happened with Kurt was nothing, and now, instead of me having you over my lap, ready for a spanking, you'd be massaging me like my favorite slave girl and then we'd be making love."

"You don't have to spank me,” she said, her voice still petulant. “It's your choice."

"You took away my choice when you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth right away. It's because I've been too free with you, letting you get away with too much. Not disciplining you when you broke the rules because I enjoy you too much. Now, I have to reassert myself, reestablish my dominance. I
have
to punish you, Katherine."

"You don't need to reestablish anything,” she protested. “You don't need D/s to keep me at arm's length. We've been so happy. We don't need an agreement."

"We do.
I
do," I said, exasperated. "I'm a Dominant, Katherine. I was when you met me. I am
now
. I need an agreement to keep myself in control. I loosened my control because of you, I opened up and let you in, and this is what happened. Now, I have no choice."

She craned her neck around. "Did you hear what you said? You confirmed that you use D/s to keep people out of your life. You
let
me in. Don't shut me out now. I'm not
just
one of your subs."

I shook my head. "I have no choice."

I didn’t. I had to wait for her to submit and accept my dominance or she’d be testing me endlessly. She wouldn’t truly believe I was strong enough to control myself or her.

Finally, her body went limp. She didn’t say anything. She waited.

That was the signal that finally, she’d given in and accepted that I would do what I would do and she’d have to take it. I stroked my hand over her ass, filled with such love for her at that moment, I couldn’t believe my luck at finding and winning her.

Then I knew I couldn’t punish her. I couldn’t spank her. I wouldn’t hurt her, even if that was in our agreement. I removed my leg from across hers and released her. She scrambled up and stood in front of me, her expression shocked.

I got up and went to the chair where my clothes were folded and got dressed. She followed me when I went to the hall closet and took out my coat.

"What are you doing?"

I slipped on my coat and boots, not meeting her eyes, needing to escape the situation, take some time to think it through.

"Drake," she said, her voice panicked. "What are you
doing
?"

"I don't know what to do any longer," I said, fatigue overtaking me. "No matter what I do, it'll be wrong. If I spank you, you'll hate me. If I don't, you'll think I'm weak and despise me. I can't win." I went to the door and opened it. "So, I'm going out."

"Where?"

"I don't know."

I left, my body feeling wooden, my muscles tense, my mind in turmoil. She followed me to the elevator.

"Don't go," she said, reaching out for me. "Not now. Not like this. We have to figure this out."

I avoided her hand, knowing that if she touched me, I’d give in. "I don't know what to do," I said, shaking my head, completely defeated. "Don't follow me."

The elevator doors closed.

I was alone.