The Dragon and the Pearl (9 page)

Every muscle in him pulled tight. ‘Not you.’

She leaned back against the wall for support as he faced her, his knees braced against the floor, his nakedness forgotten. Her response angered him further, but maybe she wanted it that way.

‘You know the answer,’ she said.

‘I don’t know anything.’

If he thought hard enough, she was certain he would discover what the August Emperor had fought to hide for so many years. But Li Tao didn’t care about the secrets of the imperial court. His eyes burned through her.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

Her lips parted in silence. There was no answer to that. Who would believe that Ling
Guifei
, the great seductress, had never been possessed by a man? Her eyes burned from sudden tears that she hoped the darkness would hide.

He swiped his robe from the floor in a violent motion, but then threw it aside. His chiselled body rippled with shadows as he stormed from the room, leaving her stranded amidst the tattered silk.

Li Tao threw the chamber door shut behind him. He shoved his hands through his hair, denying the satisfied flush of his body. The scent of jasmine clung to his skin. Visions of sensual eyes, pale skin and her perfect mouth swam before him. He grabbed a pair of trousers from the wardrobe and pulled them on impatiently.

Lies. Everything about Ling Suyin was a pretty, unfathomable lie. The score of her nails down his back and the exquisite tightness of her flesh around him had given way to the shocking breach of her maidenhead. The empire’s symbol of beauty and feminine sensuality was an untouched virgin.

He’d taken her quickly as a defence, the only defence left to him. There were stories about Ling Suyin being discovered in the pleasure dens of Luoyang. She had bewitched the Emperor with a single look. After a night with her, Emperor Li Ming had forsaken all others.

Hadn’t she lured him with every word and every sensual glance? Had her restraint been coyness or innocence? Up to the moment Li Tao sank himself into her, she had responded with an unrestrained passion he had attributed to experience. He sank on to the edge of the bed and rubbed his hand over his temples.

He needed to take apart everything he knew about Lady Ling. She hadn’t seduced Ru Shan, not with her body. The thought gave him a moment of relief, followed by a surge of anger. She didn’t belong to him, but his thoughts would not release her. She had yielded to him. No other man but him.

When he’d left her, there had been genuine sadness in her eyes. At that moment, he no longer knew what was real. He would never know her. The moment he had her in his grasp, she slipped away as if to spite him.

Chapter Nine

S
uyin stayed on the cold floor for a long time after the door slammed shut. Li Tao had left, but the ghost of his fury hovered, bearing down on her. Slowly, she retied the laces of the bodice and gathered the robe around her shoulders.

Li Tao had believed the stories and the rumours like everyone else. How could anyone not be disappointed? Even a goddess could not measure up to her legendary reputation.

She wanted to curl back on to the floor. The great burden was finally lifted. The August Emperor was long gone and she was free, but her relief was tainted by a sense of emptiness and loss she couldn’t place.

Her legs trembled when she tried to stand. She steadied herself with a hand against the wall. Long ago, she’d resigned herself to never knowing a lover’s touch. An insignificant sacrifice for a life of luxury and security. As secure as she could be in the imperial court. She had buried the yearning and the hope inside until Li Tao had kindled her desire. Suddenly, she wanted it all, the clouds and the rain and the entire universe hidden within the touch of their bodies. Everything the poems and pillow books had spoken of. All the emotions the other girls had whispered about to each other in the darkness.

This mystery between male and female—there was nothing earth shattering to it. The waiting and wanting were greater than the act itself. Madame Ling had always said as much. Why, then, did she still long for him? She knew about the physical pain that came with the first coupling, but she hadn’t expected the feel of Li Tao inside her to reach so deep it made her heart ache. He had pierced through the loneliness she had hidden away for so long.

Outside, the corridor was empty and she stared down the shadowed passage, waiting. She didn’t want to face Li Tao when her emotions were scattered within her. The mystery was done with. She could go on with her life.

With every step, the dull ache between her legs reminded her of Li Tao’s uninhibited lovemaking. He had not been gentle with her, but his rough caresses had been far from unwelcome. The shock of his entry had filled her with fear, joy and an unanswered promise. The intrusion was almost unbearable, overwhelming her with sensation. The only part she regretted was the deception. Li Tao hadn’t been able to stand the sight of her when he stormed out.

The garden was unlit except for a single lantern at the entrance. A wave of desolation swept in. She couldn’t bear to stay another moment. The guards shouted, but she ignored them. She slipped out to the back of the house and halted at the edge of the gorge, trapped. The guards clamoured after her.

‘Leave me alone,’ she snapped.

In the night, the chasm spread out like a gaping abyss. The chilled breeze tugged at the edges of her dress and stung across her face. When she left the bamboo forest, there was nothing waiting for her but solitude, a string of silent days.

For once, she let the tears fall. They slid down her cheeks and blurred the night around her. Li Tao had awakened a longing within her that went beyond physical desire. She had been bought and traded all her life. She had thought it would be enough to return to her river, to belong to herself and no one else. To be safe. But it wasn’t enough any more. Maybe it had never been enough.

Beneath the howl of the wind, she heard the pad of footsteps.

‘Ling
Guifei.
’ It was Li Tao.

‘Do
not
call me that.’

She brushed away the tears with a harsh swipe of her knuckles and turned on him. Li Tao was dressed only in his underclothes. His feet were bare on the cold stone and his pale tunic stood out against the darkness. The soldiers behind him looked on uncomfortably and kept their distance.

‘You have nothing to worry about, Governor. I have nowhere to run.’

Only the moon lit his face. The anger she remembered had melted away. ‘Come back inside.’

He held himself away from her, his body rigid. He appeared worried, almost fearful, but she must have misread his expression. Li Tao feared nothing, not all the demons in hell.

‘Are you here to demand the rest of your night?’ she asked cynically.

Her chest grew painfully tight. She swung away from the sight of him to stare into the endless gorge. He let out a sharp breath behind her.

‘Please, come back.’ The words rasped in his throat. ‘I’ll leave you alone. I won’t touch you.’

She didn’t want to be left alone. She’d been alone for too long. Li Tao held out his hand, his expression full of concern. Why couldn’t he simply be the ruthless warlord? She knew how to handle men like that.

Tenuously, she took a step towards him. His arms closed around her and she couldn’t stop herself from sinking against his chest. His heart tapped out an erratic beat and he held her so tightly it was nearly painful. She didn’t understand his reaction now after he had abandoned her so brusquely back in the study.

‘Are you hurt?’ he murmured against her hair.

She tried to shake her head, but the movement was lost against the crush of their bodies. With a sigh, she hid her face against his neck, secured in the nook between his chin and shoulder. This was so, so strange. She expected some challenge or accusation, but it never came. The heat of his skin warmed her against the evening air and she floated in the darkness, hanging on to him.

‘Governor.’ The title sounded stiff on her lips. ‘You are not even dressed.’

Her hair was unbound and her robe dishevelled. What a picture of scandal they presented. Li Tao remained oblivious to everyone else. He tucked her close to his side as he led her into the house. They retreated to his chamber and she didn’t protest when he guided her to the alcove of the bed and seated her on the edge.

He stroked two fingers lightly against her cheek. ‘You are not hurt?’ he asked again.

She closed her eyes to savour the careful way he touched her, too overwhelmed to understand what any of this meant. She feared that if she questioned it, the moment would shatter.

‘You were never the August Emperor’s lover,’ he said.

‘So the secret is revealed.’

‘How?’ he asked again, calmer this time.

‘You know the answer. The Battle of Shibao.’

He straightened, his brow creased in a frown. The slit of his tunic revealed a swathe of muscled chest, a keen reminder of how his powerful body had angled over her before he slid into her. She shuddered, the ache below her hips a faded memory of the exquisite swirl of pain and pleasure.

‘Emperor Li was nearly killed in that siege,’ he said.

‘Some of his wounds never healed.’

The explanation was simple, but the people believed the Emperor to be god-like, his childlessness a curse from heaven. And she, a temptress who had lured him into an obsessive, fruitless union that had led to his downfall. Legends captured the imagination much quicker than the truth. The ploy had allowed Li Ming to rule for only a little longer, long enough to try to stabilise the empire.

‘That must have been lonely for you,’ Li Tao said finally.

The gentleness of his tone startled her. Flustered, she fussed with her hair, trying to smooth it back. ‘Well, one can hardly miss what one doesn’t know.’

‘I meant keeping this secret for so long.’

His mouth quirked with ironic humour and blood rushed to her face. It was easier to feign sexual superiority when she’d been ignorant. She gathered the edges of her dress tight over her breasts and fought the ridiculous urge to hide beneath the blankets.

Li Tao’s smile faded as he watched her. ‘Lady Ling, you would not do anything…’ He hesitated before continuing, ‘Anything to harm yourself?’

Did he think that she would throw herself from the cliff because he had bedded her? She was inexperienced, but far from an innocent virgin fearing shame and ruin.

‘I have spent too much time fighting for my life,’ she assured. ‘You can put your guilt to rest.’

‘You should have told me.’

‘Would it have changed anything?’

He paused as he considered his answer. ‘I would have been more careful.’

His voice rumbled deep within his chest, reigniting the longing that hummed beneath her skin. How her body remembered him. The inexorable way he parted her to prepare for his entry and the way his gaze had fixed on to her as if he’d never let her go. Her face burned even hotter.

‘It doesn’t matter.’ She needed to get away from his bed and the memories that were too fresh in her mind. ‘We had an agreement.’

‘I remember,’ he said.

In the morning, he would take her home. She would be free, but free to do what? To hide from Gao alone and unprotected.

She stood and found herself blocked by the solid plane of his body. He moved close, tracing the line of her throat with an achingly tender touch, while she held herself perfectly still. This man was unfathomable, a hardened warrior who suddenly looked at her as if she were the most precious treasure in the empire. No one had ever looked at her like that.

‘Why now?’ His fingertips hovered feather-light at the corner of her mouth. ‘Why me?’

It was too hard to speak past the lump in her throat. Her survival instincts struggled to escape from the lure of him. ‘A fair trade,’ she forced out. ‘You wanted this body and I wanted my freedom.’

His pupils darkened. ‘You’ll play the whore now?’

She pulled back her shoulders, drawing on the spirit of Madame Ling. ‘In the end, seduction has little to do with the flesh.’

He took hold of her chin between his thumb and forefinger, his grip not quite forceful. ‘Stop this.’

She steeled herself for his kiss, prepared to defend herself against the sensual invasion. He was close enough for it. Their joining had been rushed and fuelled by mindless hunger. Not nearly enough to satisfy either of them. Behind the shield of her callous words, her heart raced and every part of her came alive. Her senses reached out to seek the shape of him and the dark scent of his skin. If he drew her into his arms, she would succumb to him as she had done by the gorge.

When he didn’t kiss her, the cold wash of loneliness swept over her once more. But with it came a sense of relief.

‘I wish to return to my chambers now.’

Shaking free of his hold, she started past him. He waited until she was at the door before he spoke.

‘It is still night time.’

She halted and turned. Irresistibly, her eyes lowered down his body. The hard outline of his arousal showed beneath the trousers.

Her throat went completely dry. ‘I suppose we do have an agreement.’

‘You know this is not a simple negotiation. It never was.’

The quiet edge in his voice sent a shiver through her. If it wasn’t negotiation, then what was it? She didn’t dare to think of it. Li Tao directed her to the bed, saying nothing as he lowered her on to the padding. Meanwhile his eyes spoke of possession. They never left her face until her back rested flat against the bed.

He left her and opened the door to call to someone outside. She lay docile, afraid what would happen if she allowed her desire to take over. After an agonising wait, Li Tao returned and set a basin on to the table. Steam rose over the edge as he lifted a damp cloth and wrung the water from it. She stared at his hands, captivated by the strength of his long fingers.

The sound of her own breathing filled her ears. He lowered one knee to the bed alongside her and parted her robe. The silk slipped away to leave her bare and vulnerable. Above them, the alcove of the bed arched like a cavern. The outline of his shoulders filled her vision.

He lowered the cloth and she recoiled in embarrassment, trying to sit up.

‘Be still.’

With a hand on her shoulder, he eased her back on to the bed. Their coupling had occurred in the darkened study where she’d been able to hide. Now, his gaze roamed over her with excruciating patience. She flinched at the touch of the damp cloth at her shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut, mortified by the vulnerability of it as he bathed her in soothing strokes downwards over her stomach, following the curve of her hip. He lifted the cloth and dipped it again into the basin. The trickle of water punctured the silence and then he continued in the same slow circles until her body relaxed, growing accustomed to his attention. Cool air pricked at her skin following each pass of the cloth. Her breasts rose and fell in anticipation while her muscles warmed and loosened.

‘You really must think me a beast,’ he said.

She kept her eyes closed. His voice surrounded her, vibrating deep within.

‘I never thought you were a gentleman.’ She couldn’t understand why her mind still insisted on sparring with him when her body wanted to lose itself to the sensations.

‘You’re right. I’m no gentleman.’

The cloth slicked its dampness over her legs. She squirmed, recalling the stain of blood on her thighs. Mortified, she tried to draw her knees closed, but his touch remained careful and utterly tender in a way that rendered her heart asunder.

When she dared to look at him, his head was bent in concentration.

‘I was curious,’ she admitted.

‘Curious?’

‘You asked me, why now? I wanted to know what it was. This power that could bring men and women to their knees. “The clouds and the rain”, they call it, as if the joining of flesh could open the heavens.’

His smile touched his eyes more than his lips. ‘I take it the heavens remain closed to you, Lady Ling?’

She had no answer for him. His embrace made her blood sing and her flesh ache, but he had climaxed inside her while she’d been left wanting. Even now, something inside her silently urged him to take her where his body had promised.

‘I was to remain untouched in memory of the August Emperor.’

His hand stilled on her, the cloth resting at her knee. ‘He is dead. You are not.’

For the last years, she had believed that peace was all she wanted, at the price of isolation. But when Li Tao was with her, she wanted something more. Something unnameable. But she wouldn’t stay to search for it while war and death hung over him. She couldn’t take that risk.

He set aside the washcloth and closed her robe, running his fingers along the silk. The brief caress was enough to make her want to arch towards his hand.