Authors: Marc Bojanowski
We need to leave. Vargas said softly. Inspecting his knuckles.
Where did you get the knife? Ramón continued to yell at RodrÃguez.
I do not remember! RodrÃguez yelled.
We need to leave. Vargas repeated. They are coming.
Vargas then grabbed RodrÃguez by the arm and began to walk in the direction opposite of the plaza mayor.
Where are you going to take this maricón? Ramón asked Vargas.
Someplace else. The fugitive smiled. I am still thirsty and his wallet is still full.
The three of them began to jog but I did not move. I suddenly felt the alcohol very much.
Hombre. Ramón called back to me. This way.
But I stood where I was.
Leave him! RodrÃguez hissed.
Ramón jogged over to where I stood. He put his hands on my face and smiled.
We will do this again sometime. He patted me on the shoulder. I told you we would have a good time.
I am going to call you Ferocious. I heard Vargas laugh to RodrÃguez over Ramóns shoulder.
Go home. Okay? Ramón said to me.
I nodded.
Little Ferocious. Vargas said and tousled his hair. This gesture produced a short proud laugh from RodrÃguez. Ramón turned and they all ran from the shadows of the abandoned church.
I walked in the opposite direction. Toward the smell of a bakery down the street at the end of the block. The smell warm and sweet and made me feel sick some. I had not been drunk in many months. My legs were not steady. My eyes red from the smoke. I walked one block and then turned down from the mountains toward the cathedral. From there I would take the back alleys to the plaza and then on to the dentists. Not thinking about whether or not Jorge would try to stop me from climbing the stairs to my small room.
Blocks ahead I heard the laugh of a young woman ring clear as she and her lover stumbled over the uneven stones. Arm in arm. I could no longer sleep on the beach. I had gotten used to my bed. The thought of the hotel impossible now that there were guards and I was so drunk. In a narrow alley just north of the cathedral I stopped to be sick in a doorway. I bent over holding my stomach with one hand and wiping the vomit from around my mouth with the other when there was the sound of bricks moving above me. Confused I looked up to see a young man with a bag over his shoulder hanging down from a balcony. A light came on in the room above. The sound of a woman screaming and her husband yelling. The young man dangled a story above. When the wife came out onto the balcony she stepped on the young mans fingers. Cursing and yelling. Letting down his arm to avoid her stomping feet his bag fell to the ground. A glass broke inside. A silver candlestick clattered on the stones. Suddenly the young man landed at my feet. He cursed. Grabbing at his ankle.
Hold him! The wife yelled down at me. Do not let him run away!
Drunk I grabbed the young man by the shirt where he sat on the ground. He looked up at me with round dark eyes. Then a smile came across his mouth.
I know you. He said. From Jorges.
Jorge? I asked.
The dentist. You live with Jorge. I come later. He explained. After the others have gone.
The husband unlocked the door from the inside.
The young man cursed again. He tried to stand but his ankle was injured. In my confusion over what he said I had let go of his shirt. The wife was yelling at me from above as the thief hurried to put the candlestick back into the bag. When the husband opened the door he stepped in where I had been sick. He stepped forward to look at his bare feet in the light and then at the thief on the ground hurrying with his bag. The husband stood with his back to me. He aimed a rifle he held at the young mans chest. Over this mans shoulder the thief looked into my eyes and shrugged. Smiling.
When I hit the man in the back of the head with my fist he fell to the ground. The rifle fired. Splitting a flowerpot hanging by the head of his wife. Some dirt went on her face. She cursed this swatting at her fat cheeks. She cursed her husband. I cursed the husband. His head hurt my hand very much.
We need to run now amigo. The young thief laughed. Help me to my feet.
We hurried down the street leaving the husband lying facedown. The rifle by his side. His wife on the balcony cursing us all.
T
he young thiefs name was Javier. When Jorge opened the door of the compound to the soft knock he looked at Javier and then at me and hurried us inside without question. In the kitchen that morning we sat holding wet cloths against our injuries while the dentist cooked eggs standing at the stove in his pajamas. Invisible morning birds weighed the slender limbs of the date palm in the courtyard.
I know you have something more for the pain than this old man. Javier smiled playfully. His eyes on the cigarette he rolled with long quick fingers.
Jorge said nothing but reached into the stove for a skinny stick of wood. He turned with a small flame at the end and lit the cigarette for the thief.
Not even a little something? Javier begged playfully.
The medication I have for pain is for my patients Javier. The dentist said over his shoulder.
Perfect. Javier pointed at me and then to himself. Here you have two patients.
Enough. The dentist said. Or I will ruin your breakfast on purpose.
When the eggs were cooked the dentist set them on large plates on the table in front of Javier and myself. Next he poured hot cups of strong black coffee for each of us. Then from the oven he brought a basket of tortillas bundled in warm towels. The crackle of the stove fire early in the morning was pleasant. Javier and I ate hungrily. The dentist sat in an empty chair. He delicately lifted Javiers ankle and rested it in his own lap. I ate without taking my eyes from my plate.
After what happened last night. Jorge began to scold me but Javier interrupted.
Jorge. The young thief said in a tender voice.
And you. The dentist redirected his attention. His voice very upset. You know how I feel about this. Pointing to the bag with the stolen items he searched for the words. This stealing.
Javier cupped his palm around the unshaven chin of the dentist. After a moment the dentist calmed some. Then turned to me and said in a serious tone.
So you know our secret now dog fighter?
Still I had not lifted my eyes from my plate.
Do not play stupid with me young man.
Jorge. Javier interrupted again. We are tired. He carried me all the way here to you. If not for him I would be in jail now.
Or dead.
Jorge. The thief pleaded. Placing his hand on the cheek of the dentists face again.
In my life before Canción I had beaten men like this for my own satisfaction or for the satisfaction of having others around to encourage me. I split their lips with my knuckles. Kicked them in the soft of their stomachs when they went to catch their breath. I did not care to understand their love. I believed that it was a great sin before God. Both my grandfather and my mother had taught me this. But now watching Javier calm the dentist with such subtle gestures I understood that there existed between the two men a great love. This is what I desired for myself. I had been very envious of the quiet laughs and slow dancing they shared. The shadow of them crossing the courtyard had frustrated me many times but that morning I felt good sitting with them. Peaceful even though my hand was swollen and the knuckles bruised.
To prevent the dentist from scolding either of us anymore Javier began telling the story of what had occurred in the house that night.
You should have seen this man. The young thief laughed. Head like a cinder block. A stomach out to here. And when I saw how ugly the wife was. She is what scared me out of there. My screaming woke them. Not my clumsiness. I am not a clumsy man.
Thief. Jorge interrupted.
I am not ashamed of what I do. Javier said to the dentist. But if you call me this then I will tell you what I did not want to have to tell you. This hag of a wife? She snored worse than you mi corazón. I never thought it possible.
Carefully raising my eyes from my plate I laughed at this interaction. Immediately Javier joined me.
Bueno. The dentist said. Smiling some. I allow you criminals into my home in the middle of the night. Make you breakfast. And this is how you thank me?
Although the dentist did not approve of what his young lover did for work he found much humor in the stories of the thief. When our laughter ended we sat quietly in the kitchen together. Jorge gently raised Javiers swollen ankle to rearrange the cool damp cloths. I looked through the doorway and into the sunny courtyard. I felt tired.
It was good of you to help me. Javier said then. This dog fighter has a kind heart Jorge.
The dentist leaned toward me careful not to put pressure on Javiers leg.
Let me see your hand again. He said.
What does a dentist know about broken bones? Javier joked. Smoke escaping from his smile.
More than a thief. Jorge responded.
One of my knuckles hurt very much. The pain in my wrist was sharp along my forearm.
I thought a dog fighter would know how to throw his fists so as not to get himself hurt. The dentist said holding my hand in his own.
It will heal before my next fight.
I am not so certain. Jorge said. I think you have broken a knuckle.
I am fine. I took my hand from him uncomfortable with his touch. Javier is much worse. I said.
This one is always making things worse for himself. The dentist sat back shaking his head. I am through trying to look after him.
I scooped the last of the eggs on my plate with a folded tortilla. Sipped the hot coffee. My head hurt some from the drinking but I felt better after having been sick. It felt good to be eating and laughing and listening to Javier and the dentist chide one another. When Javier yawned I stood and wiped the plates clean with a towel and stacked them in the cupboard.
Last night. I said to Jorge before I was to leave for my room. I am sorry.
How did he know where you live? Jorge asked me of Ramón.
Ramón works for Cantana. Javier spoke up. Blowing on the lit end of his cigarette. El Tapado knows everything in this city.
Not everything. Jorge patted the thief on the leg resting in his lap.
No Jorge. Todos.
The two men were quiet.
Let me sleep some and then I will find someplace this afternoon. I said.
No no. Jorge clucked his tongue. You will continue to live here with us.
Someone will need to keep me company during the day. Javier said. Do not go anywhere. It will be fun. I can teach you how to pick pockets.
This is when I remembered Javier from the fighting. As the well dressed young man kneeling alongside Cantana to take bets. Accepting money in his shirt pocket from the other businessmen.
I have seen you at the fights. I said.
Yes. Javier smiled. You are very talented. But I can tell you do not enjoy it as much as the others do.
I was tired. I could feel both of their eyes on me. I shook my head.
Thank you for the food and the conversation. I said to the dentist and Javier then. It is exactly what I needed after all of this.
Javier passed the next few weeks with us at the compound. He spent his days in the cool of the back room playing records. The evenings with the other young men laughing. There was more music in the compound during that week than there was during my entire stay with the dentist. Many times in the evenings while I copied out the poems the poet had given me I heard the dentist scolding Javier for dancing with the other young men. For not respecting his ankle. But how Javier and the dentist scolded one another only revealed how much they cared.
Gordito. Javier called the skinny dentist affectionately. Or a whispered. Mi corazón.
One night when the dentist was undressing his mother for bed Javier stood in the doorway of the back room and called for the dentist.
You must come and dance if you want us to stay old man. His voice magnified by the courtyard.
But the dentist did not lift his ear from his mothers lips.
I do not think Javier would have called if he knew Jorge was with his mother. Javier respected the mother of the dentist very much. Loved Jorge for the attention he dedicated to his mother. There was much passion between them. One night I passed the back room returning upstairs and from the shadows I witnessed Javier wrap his arms around the dentists waist.
I am the only one left to dance with you gordito. He kissed the dentist on the mouth.
I think you dance better with a swollen ankle. The dentist teased the thief. It lends you a grace that you did not have before.
When the young men would leave for the night I heard from my room Javier and the dentist laughing the quiet laughs of lovers before they retired to the privacy of themselves. It was enough to send me out into the night grinding my teeth with jealousy.
But in the warmth of the kitchen over the simple food the dentist had cooked for us that morning I realized what was wrong with having wanted to hear my name called on many voices. I awoke then knowing that what I desired most was what those two men had together. The mature love of another. How their names came from each others mouths alone. It thrilled me to think that love is not possible when it comes on the voices of many. But only on one who even in the company of others can change the tone of your name for it to mean a thousand different things but understood only by the two of you alone. I longed for the intimacy of giving myself to another completely. Even if it was a false intimacy.
There is much deception in love. The poet had said to me once.
But there was no deception in the sound of the dentists slippers on the sandy floor of the back room while he and the thief continued to dance even after the music had ended.
I am pleased by the number of men who claim to understand the words of God without questioning Him. The poet had also said to me once. It makes me feel like less of an idiot than I already am.
But even the poet with his questions of God would not understand the love of the dentist and the thief. And this remains something I do not understand.
Â
A
fter the night in the cantina beneath the abandoned church I did not see the poet for several days. On my return to the market I noticed Ramón sitting at a table at one of the cafés with a young woman I had not seen before. She was very beautiful and dressed very expensively. The old women in the plaza mayor who went from table to table begging for money gave her mean eyes but sitting with Ramón she did not care. She kept her eyes on Ramón while he spoke looking over the large square. Sipping his coffee. When Ramón noticed me from afar he shot his hand into the air and waved me over. But I was already walking toward him.
How did you know where I lived? I said before he could speak.
Good afternoon. Ramón smiled. Relaxed in his chair. Nice to see you too.
The young woman ran her fingers through her hair. She seemed suddenly nervous. Ramón reached into his pocket and brought out some paper pesos.
Muñeca. He said sweetly. Remember that dress you liked so much the other day? Give my friend and me a moment here. I will meet you soon enough.
But I am not finished with my coffee. She complained.
I will finish it for you.
The young woman blushed. Ramón said nothing but continued looking me in the eyes as she gathered her things and left. I sat in her seat where her perfume smelled strongly around us still at the table facing the square.
Cantana was having you followed. Ramón said then. His voice serious.
Was?
You are fine. He knows you are not a threat. Things now with the hotel are very uncertain for him. A man in his position cannot take risks.
What do you do for Cantana to know him so well? I asked.
You remember the small jobs you did for your friend Eduardo? Something like this.
Eduardo was not my friend. I said. And Eduardo is dead.
He is. Ramón lifted the cup to his lips and delicately sipped. And the differences between Eduardo and myself do not end there.
What does Cantana want with me?
He finds you very interesting hombre. For what he will not say. Apparently you walk often.
And this is interesting?
And how quiet you are. It is not good to be so quiet. People suspect.
I am not quiet now.
Maybe it is too late.
I looked Ramón carefully in the eyes. A young child came up to our table selling cheap cigarillos and Ramón bought one from him paying much more than the cost the boy asked for. Several other boys saw this and came to Ramón but he waved them away. They chased after the small boy.
You do not have to worry. Ramón said. Cantana does not care about where you live. You and those who live there are fine.
It is none of his business.
Ramón laughed at this.
Everything in Canción is Cantanas business amigo. Or are you deaf and blind as well as mute?
An old woman sat on one of the wood benches of the plaza near to us throwing bread crumbs to the pigeons. At one point a mouse scurried out for the crumbs scattering the birds. The old woman laughed. It was brave of Ramón to speak to me in this way. I could have easily killed him. But he fought the teeth and he was not afraid.