Authors: Claire Applewhite
“You will,” Lori said. She tried to take a deep breath, but the pain stopped her. Here goes nothing, she thought.
“Eddie, the truth is, I don’t love you anymore.” The biggest lie of her life just crossed her lips, spoken to the only man she ever loved. Her heart felt old and broken, but somehow, it continued to beat. This was the only way. “You’ll be better off with Starr. She loves you, and—”
When Eddie started to sob, Lori faced the plaster wall. She didn’t want him to see her tears. She recalled how his forehead crinkled, trying to comprehend something he didn’t, couldn’t and never would understand.
“Princess, I don’t believe you don’t love me.” Sunlight streamed through the wide windows, smeared with pigeon droppings. His hands covered his eyes. His mouth crumpled like used tissue paper. “Okay, look…I haven’t been perfect. But, it’s been too hard, Lori. I miss you—miss the good times, you know, like we had.” The corners of his mouth struggled to smile. “I want them back… I want you back.”
“I told you, Eddie. I’m going to Las Vegas. Don’t follow me.”
Eddie’s voice cracked. “You can’t go out there all alone.”
“We’re both better off this way.”
“I don’t love you anymore.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why not? It’s the truth.” Lori grabbed at a loose thread from the edge of the frayed sheet and began to unravel it, inch by inch. Helped to steady her nerves.
“I said I’m sorry, Princess.”
“I don’t want you to feel sorry for anything. I think you’re a good man. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
“A good man takes care of his wife.”
“And you did. Now, I just want to be free for whatever time I’ve got left.
Comprehension flooded his face. “Okay. I get that part. Baby, are you sure you know what you want? What’s the doctor say?”
“I don’t care what the doctor says. Let me go.”
“But Lori, what if you don’t make it?”
She smiled. “Lots of questions, huh, Eddie? That’s for me to worry about. I haven’t had much excitement for a while, Eddie. I miss the lights and the stage and the dresses and the way the audience clapped just for me. Remember how I used to sing and dance? I want to live like that again, before it’s too late. I’m just asking you to let me go. I want to be free. Tell me you understand that part, Eddie.”
Eddie stared at his wife of almost seven years, long and hard. “Call me sometime?” he said.
Lori felt so hot and dizzy, she thought her face would melt. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Eddie stopped crying. He struggled to force a smile. “Are you sure you know what you want?”
“Yes. I do.”
Eddie sighed. “Okay. If that will make you happy, then go. You know where you can find me. Come home when you…I mean, if you…” His shoulders trembled with sobs, and he slouched through the door—almost. He turned and stared at her, one long, last moment. “Princess?”
“Yeah, Eddie?”
“I don’t believe you don’t love me.” His voice wavered. Tears ran down his cheeks. “Never will.” The door slammed behind him.
Lori stared at the ceiling. Finally, she allowed herself to consider the big question—the one that loomed in the dark corners of her mind. After all, no one could predict her future.
What if she didn’t die?
Dottie Pennybaker’s flabby chins jiggled like fresh jello. While she hustled through the hall, she decided she wouldn’t leave until she talked to that nice young doctor. Couldn’t for the life of her recall his name, but that didn’t matter. Only person needed to remember that was Lori.
Somehow, she ended up on the nursery floor, with her wide nose pressed against the window of the Newborn Nursery. She paused for a moment in front of the cool plate glass, smudged with an impressive array of fingerprints. Hadn’t been that long ago, when she first stood in this very spot with Velma, Lori’s mother, and got her first look at Lori. Oh my, she was a pretty baby! Tears welled in her blue eyes. She blinked hard, until they stopped and she dabbed her cheeks with a folded tissue. This was no time for tears.
She needed to find that nice doctor. If she could just catch her breath, and take one good gulp of air…Oh my! The air smelled so stuffy. Beads of sweat streamed down her temples. With each step she took, her heart seemed to throb a bit harder. She clutched at her pendulous breasts.
“Oh my!” Dottie said. “Where is that nice doctor?”
All around her, dishes clattered, telephones jingled, infants wailed and beepers beeped. Her steps slowed until finally, her body collapsed in a heap.
Dottie Pennybaker lay in the middle of the busy corridor.
Alone.
Mary stared at me with apprehension. “Yeah, ‘an then what’d he say? You tell him it was my gun?”
“Of course not.” I grabbed another banana muffin from a chipped ceramic plate. “These are really good muffins, Mary. Did you bake these?”
“Me? No, D’Yan did. Y’know, she’s a good cook.”
“How’s the baby?”
“Oh, is he ever smart! You know, he just looks at you like he knows he’s got it going on, know what I mean? ‘Course, D’Yan is smart, too. She wanted to be a doctor. Did I ever tell you that?”
“No, you didn’t.” I licked my fingers and brushed away the crumbs. “Really good. Please tell her that for me, will you?”
“Sure I will.” A long pause elapsed before she spoke again. “You going to tell Miz Raines about her friend? Or am I?”
I hated the thought of it. “I suppose I’ve been avoiding that, Mary.”
“What if she wants to visit Mrs. P. in the hospital? It’s her right, now. She sure knew what was up with her husband and Blondie. Prob’ly the only friend Miz Raines really has.”
I stared at Mary. “I don’t know about that.” I rose from my chair. “I’ll go in and tell her what happened to Mrs. Pennybaker. That is her name, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, you got that right. Hey, you didn’t tell me what else the Dean said.”
“He talked about regrets. Being dissatisfied.”
Mary brushed the crumbs from her mouth. “Yeah?”
“He said as long as I always did my best, I wouldn’t regret anything I did or didn’t do.”
“Sounds right to me. But you know, a person can do their best, and it still might not be enough. Look at Miz Raines in there. Looks to me like she done her best.” Mary shook her head. “But it shore don’t look like enough to keep everybody happy. Sometimes, you know, the sky falls anyway.”
“I’ll go and talk to her.” I turned and faced her. “I forgot to ask you about those drugs you thought were missing from the cabinet. Did you hear any more on that?”
“Where you been? I thought everyone knew. Some folks around here think that Dr. Freeman in on it. Some nurses, they say he been feeling real good these days…too good. I heard the administration looking into it. But, you know how long that takes around here.”
“Well, we don’t want to spread any more rumors, Mary. I’ll go talk to Mrs. Raines now.”
“You do that, Doctor. Maybe it will make you feel better.”
From the corner of my eye, I glimpsed the door to the drug cabinet, hanging by a lone hinge. It looked empty.
“Mary!” I said. “Come here! You’ve got to see this!”
“I’m comin’!”
Mary stood next to me, breathless and fuming. “Whoever worked the last shift is gonna hear ‘bout this,” she said. “As soon as you put out the fire down in Miz Raines’ room.”
We both knew how long that could take.
Freeman checked his reflection in the mirror. Not bad for a guy who hadn’t slept in…he couldn’t recall. Didn’t matter anyway, because at midnight tonight, he had a date.
His beeper vibrated. No way! No way was he going to miss his rendezvous in the Call Room with Sweet Tricia Anne Dixon, all the way from Texas. My, oh my. Might as well call the fools and see what they wanted this time. Might buy him some valuable time a little bit later. He dialed the house phone.
“City Hospital, Operator Number 5.”
“Dr. Freeman answering a page.”
“Hold on, I’ll connect you.”
“Oh, goody.” He glanced at his watch. 11:56 p.m.
“Dr. Freeman? It’s Penny from the ER.”
Penny from the ER.
Nice voice. Need to check her out.
“Yeah, what now?” he said.
“We have a man in the Emergency Room that fell down the stairs. He’s complaining of chest pain and shortness of breath.”
“You called me for that, Penny from the ER?”
“He’s really in a lot of distress, Dr. Freeman. I think you should take a look at him.”
Freeman glanced at the clock on the wall. Midnight. Don’t be late.
“Get a chest x-ray, STAT. I’ll see him as soon as I can.”
“Thank you so much, Dr. Freeman,” Penny said.
“See you soon.” Freeman scrawled “Penny, ER” on his hand in blue ink. Now, for the Call Room.
About 45 minutes later…
“Dr. Spezia!”
I turned and searched the hall outside the Emergency Room. Someone had called my name, but who? It was probably the slim redhead with the panicked expression on her face.
“Dr. Spezia, I know this isn’t your problem, but I’ve got a man that’s really in trouble. Will you look at him? I’ve got a chest X-ray.”
“Sure.” I followed her to the Emergency Room. Suddenly, I wondered.
“Who ordered the chest X-ray?” I asked.
“Dr. Freeman did. I paged him three times, but he doesn’t answer.”
I hustled into the exam room. A thin man, maybe seventy five years old, lay on the gurney. His face looked ashen. He puffed like a locomotive. An ugly scrape marred the left side of his chest, but that did not bother me. It was uncanny, but this patient bore a distinct resemblance to Grandpa. However, a distinct difference told me he was not. This man didn’t talk all the time, especially about his family.
“What’s his BP?” I said.
“80/50, down from 130/80,” Penny replied.
I placed my stethoscope on his left chest. There were no breath sounds. None at all.
I looked at the X-ray on the view box. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The left pneumothorax was huge, with useless air surrounding and collapsing the left lung.
“Get a chest tube tray. Now, please!” I reached into the drawer by the bedside, and withdrew an alcohol swab and a 14 gauge intravenous catheter. I felt for one of the patient’s left ribs, laterally, and swabbed it with alcohol. “This will hurt a bit, sir,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
I slid the needle over the rib, into his left chest, advanced the catheter, and removed the stylet. Air hissed out of his chest through the catheter. The patient moaned, and his breathing slowed. I turned to the nurse.
“Please open the chest tube tray.”
The door flung open, and Dr. Freeman rushed into the room.
“Spezia, what the hell do you think you’re doing to my patient?”
At that moment, I couldn’t look at him. I could barely speak through my clenched teeth.
“Saving his life,” I replied. “You can go now.” “We’ll call if we don’t need you.”
I stood in the hall outside Mrs. Raines’ room and searched for someone who knew where she had gone. While my trembling hands paged through her chart, my heart threatened to pound through my chest.
“She’s gone Mary! Nothing in the chart about it. Who worked last night?”
“I’d call Mr. Raines, now, Doctor.” Mary paused. “You think this has anything to do with Mrs. Pennypacker?”