The Divide (The Divide Series Book 1) (22 page)

I woke up sprawled out on the floor, Gregory’s jacket covering me. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I slowly sat up and clutched Gregory's jacket closer to me—leaning in and inhaling his smell; it was woodsy mixed with smoke. I smiled and just sat there for a few minutes, smelling the jacket in.
Go find the owner of the Jacket and just smell him in
. Yeah right, like that wouldn’t be weird or anything.
And sniffing his jacket while he’s gone isn’t weird?
I shook my head. I shouldn’t have been smelling anything of his. 

As I stood up on shaky legs, I walked out the opened closet door, and found Gregory standing next to one of the boarded-up windows, one hand on his hip while the other one raked through his hair. His shirt clung snugly to his body and I watched hypnotized as his arm move back and forth, back and forth. I could think of something else his hand could do. I blinked up and looked away.
What the hell?
I gulped a few times trying to get my bearings.

“Morning,” I said as I walked over to him. “What are you looking at?”

He kept his gaze on the boarded-up window in front of us. “Nothing, I’m just thinking.”

“About?” I prodded.

“What our next plan is going to be,” he said.

“I didn’t think we had an original plan. I thought it was more of a run-for-your-life kind of plan.” 

He was quiet for a few minutes before answering. “Kieran’s looking for you. He probably figures we’d go to the Ambassador of Inonia for help, or catch a train out of here. But if we don’t do one of those two things, we will be stuck in this building. And I doubt Kieran wouldn’t start a search party.” 

“Okay?” I said. “So what are we going to do?”

“Our best bet is to go somewhere else, throw them off our scent.”

That was fine with me. But where would we go and when would we leave? “So when do we leave?”

Gregory finally looked over at me. “I need to find out the trains’ schedule and figure out which one’s the best to take. By the way, I got some food.” He pointed to a large paper bag sitting on the ground. “You need to make sure you eat. I’m hoping we can leave tonight. But in order to do that, I need to figure out what Kieran’s planning on doing. That way we won’t get caught while we try to escape. Get some more rest while you’re at it. You’ll need your energy for tonight.”

I walked over to the paper bag and sat down. I took out a bagel and started munching on it. “I want to help,” I said between bites. 

“It would be better to keep you here, hidden away,” he said, watching me eat. “We don’t need you to get caught before we have a chance to escape. Unless you’ve changed your mind and are willing to marry him.”

I looked up from my bagel and glared at him. “Ew.”

He smirked. “Too old?”

“Among other things,” I mumbled between bites. Gregory laughed. I peeked up through my lashes toward him and glared. 

Gregory finally finished his stupid laughing, and we both sat in silence. When I finished up the bagel, he just stood there, staring off into space.

“I don’t know what our next move will be, other than finding safety.” I watched as he chewed his lip. “What I think you should be doing is stepping up as acting Leader.” He turned toward me and leaned up against the wall. “You wouldn’t have to run and dodge bullets. You would have an army behind you.” He crossed his arms and ankles. He looked casual while he nonchalantly commented on my cowardly skills. “We’re not going to be able to hide forever. So, you’ll need to make up your mind about what you want to do,” he said.

I crumpled up the paper bag and dusted the crumbs off my pants. “I want to start a new life.” At least that was the truth.

“If your father is dead, you’re next in line to rule,” he said with all seriousness.

“I don’t want to rule,” I said.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to be anything like my father,” I said. “And Kieran has a point. I have no idea what I would be doing. I have no experience. I liked his ideas of changing things, except I don’t trust him. I do want everyone to be equal, but that will never happen. People will always want what others have. I want change, but I’m only seventeen. People won’t listen to me. They’ll see a silly little girl trying to boss them around. And how am I supposed to take care of everyone in Lorburn if I can barely take care of myself? The citizens would truly be better off with a different Leader.”

Shrugging his shoulders, he never took his eyes off of me. “You’re bossy, stubborn, and care about others. I think you’d be an okay Leader.”

I glowered at him. “Really, just an okay one? Plus I don’t want to be one.” This conversation needed to end.

“So you want to run away from your responsibilities?” he asked.

“I’m not running away from my responsibilities,” I gritted out. “They’re still my dad’s responsibilities.”

“Your dad’s most likely dead, and if he isn’t, he will be,” Gregory said bluntly.

“No he isn’t.” I stood up. “If he were dead, we would know. Kieran seems the type to announce it to everyone. Why are even talking about this?” Heat crawled up my neck as my anger started rising. Pacing back and forth, I clenched and unclenched my fists.

“Because you want to run away and hide like a coward,” he said angrily.

I turned toward him and marched up to him, my finger jabbing into his chest. “A coward? Are you kidding me? I’m not a coward. I’m surviving. I’ve just decided to put myself first for once. All of my life, I’ve been told what to do, what to wear, and what to say. This is the first time I have had a chance to escape and save myself. Yeah, the situation sucks, but it’s the only chance I got.” I could barely breathe I was so angry. 

“You are a coward! What about all those innocent lives that Kieran and the rebels go through? Do you not care about them? Do you not want to help them? Everyone’s here for a reason. You were born into a family that leads, and you want to take that for granted. You’re so busy looking out for yourself you don’t even notice anyone around you and their suffering. Since the first day I met you, it was always about ‘me, me, me.’ Why don’t you grow up and stop being
so
selfish.” He stood glaring at me, his chest rose up and down as fast as my heart beat against mine. 

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but I wouldn’t cry. “You’re an asshole. You know that? Maybe if you…you…you,” I stammered.

“I…I…I…what?” he mimicked. “Do you think I’m having the time of my life running from the rebels? Do you think I wanted to leave Gildonia? But you don’t care what I think because you had my clothes packed without even asking. You demanded. That’s all you do, and when something doesn’t go your way, you get upset and act like a toddler.” Gregory walked over and punched the wall. As the clank of metal pierced through the air, I flinched back involuntary. “For once in your goddamn life, think of someone other than yourself. Step up and take your rightful place.”

Each word hit me like a brick, and I closed and opened my hands over and over; I wanted to hit him, make his life miserable, but I also wanted to cry which I wouldn't give in to. “You can’t tell me how to live. You don’t even know me. You really think you know me just after a few days? You know nothing. This is my decision. I’m not going to rule. And if you hate my decision and think I’m so selfish, then you don’t have to come with me. You can go home. Go back to that life you thought you loved. Which we both know you didn’t. You hated it.” My breathing escalated, my chest rising and falling with each quick breath. 

“It’s a stupid fucking decision.” He walked toward the door, swinging it open. “I’m going to check the train schedules.” He slammed the door behind him, and my mouth dropped open. How could he be pissed at the decision I wanted to make? How could he make so much noise? What if someone had heard the door slamming like that? Rushing over to the closet, I stepped in and closed the door behind me; sinking to the floor, I crawled over to the spot I had been in last night. I shouldn’t have cared what he thought. It was not a stupid decision. What about my happiness? Why did I have to be responsible for the Nation when I didn’t want it?  

I could still smell his scent from his jacket. I picked it up and tossed it across the small room. As I grabbed my jacket, I slipped it on and pinched my legs up close to my body, hugging them with my good arm. I didn’t want the life I was born into; I wanted a life where I could be happy and have some fun. And if that meant I had to be on the run, then that would be fine with me. When it came to marriage, I should be able to choose who I want to spend the rest of my life with, no one should choose for me. Being on the run was the first time I’d felt alive. It was the first time I’d wanted to fight to wake up in the morning. Shouldn’t you live a life you want to fight for? 

Eventually, I dozed off after many hours of brooding, and I woke up to the sound of scratching coming from the main room. I rubbed my eyes and stood up, holding on to the wall so I wouldn’t fall over. My stomach grumbled loudly and I was lightheaded, so I stood there for a few minutes until the black spots faded from my vision. Finally, when I was able to move, I opened the door slightly and peeked through. As Gregory walked toward the closet holding some bags, I silently opened up the door to let him in.

“I brought some food,” he said, “and some supplies.”

My stomach growled at his response, this time more loudly. He handed me a paper bag and I went back to my spot, near the mops and buckets, and sat down. Taking the items out of the bag—two sandwiches, two apples, and two waters—I took my portion and then slid the rest across to where Gregory was now sitting down, leaning up against the wall. Biting into the apple, I almost moaned in delight at the sweet taste, I could feel the juice sliding down my chin, but I was too hungry to worry about wiping it away. We ate in painful silence. Neither one of us was going to apologize. We were both too stubborn. 

After I finished the food, I took my sleeve and wiped away whatever was left on my face before taking a deep gulp of water and sitting back up against the wall. I looked everywhere but at Gregory. I was still pissed at him, but I wanted to know what he had found out. Finally, I locked eyes with him and raised my brow expectantly. He just shrugged his shoulders. 

I rolled my eyes. “So, what did you find out?” I had a feeling if I didn’t say anything, we would be sitting in silence for the rest of the day into evening; I wasn’t sure what day it was, or if it was night or day.

“A train leaves first thing in the morning for Centonia. I figured we’ll head out tonight once it gets dark and find a place to hide closer to the station. That way all we have to do is hop on a train.”

We. That one word started a flame of hope in my chest. So he wasn’t mad enough at me to abandon me. “Why not just go in the morning?”

“It would be easier to just go tonight.” He started to go through the other bags. There was something he wasn’t telling me.

I rubbed my right arm, wishing I could get it out of the sling already. “So what aren’t you telling me?”

“Kieran's having his men search every building,” Gregory said. “I’d rather be hiding out closer to the station than be found here.”

I nodded my head and pointed to the other bags. “What are those?”

“Supplies.” He grabbed one of the duffel bags. “Once we get on the train, we should change your appearance.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“Because it would be easier to get through other regions without getting caught if you didn’t look—” he waved his hand toward me “—like you. Especially if you want to run away from everything.”

Ignoring his jab, I asked, “How am I supposed to change my appearance?”

“I got something to change your hair and new clothes.” He started pushing everything into the duffel bag.

“What do you mean change my hair?” 

“Cut and change the color.”

I grabbed my long hair. I didn’t want to cut it or change the color; I loved my hair. He had to be crazy.
Yup, crazy
. My eyes just stayed on the duffel bag as Gregory loaded it with the items he’d brought. Even after he was finished and the bag was zipped back up, I just stared at it.

Gregory and I sat in the closet for hours in uncomfortable silence. He was attaching knives to the top of his shoes and securing them with a Velcro-type rope. I sat watching him arm himself up. I wonder what he would say if I asked if I could have weapon.
“Sorry, Mia, but you’re too delicate to touch one of these.” “You couldn’t handle something this sharp.” “You won’t take responsibility if you hurt someone.” “Your lips look yummy.”
I didn’t know where that last one came from, but I knew he would never say anything like that. 

Once it was nightfall, we headed out of the building, keeping to the shadows. Gregory carried both duffel bags while I kept my backpack. I had shoved my purse in it earlier so I wouldn’t have to worry about anything but the backpack. As we got closer to the station, Gregory took more and more difficult routes. I was so tired of running. I would gladly chop off my legs so I wouldn’t have to run, but that would have hurt, and I hated pain more than running. By the time we got to the hiding place, I was annoyed. It was a tiny cave. I missed the closet. At least the closet would have been a little bit warmer. 

Gregory and I sat in the tiny cave in silence all night. The only thing I enjoyed about the tiny cave was the sunrise. It was beautiful: red, orange, and yellow painted the sky, and I felt at peace looking at the different colors. Once I settled into my new life, I planned on watching the sun rise each morning. Gregory, of course, ruined the moment by opening his mouth and telling me it was time to head to the train station. I was exhausted and I wanted to sleep, so naturally, I slowly stood up and followed Gregory. I had just let out a breath of relief as we hit the train station when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I stopped and looked behind me. Shit.

“Gregory,” I said. Turning around and looking at him, Gregory was staring at the guy who was behind me and mumbling something, but I knew it wasn't good.

“Mia?” the man said. He was dressed all in blue.

I squinted my eyes at him. “No.”