The Diva Haunts the House (27 page)

“Thank you so much, muttonhead. I’m going to be sore for a week.” Natasha strode into the kitchen, pulled off her cap, and sat down at the kitchen table.

“Godiva?” Nina twisted the top off the bottle.

“Please.” Natasha glared at Humphrey.

“Did you find Mars?” I poured herbal cinnamon apple spice tea into the black Halloween mugs for all of us.

“Yes.” She didn’t sound happy about it.

“Sound asleep, I guess?” I arranged the cookies on a platter and placed it in the middle of the table, along with napkins.

“That man could sleep through an erupting volcano. We’d find him the next day like the people in Pompeii, covered in lava.”

Why did I suspect that she was trying to avoid the subject of her midnight raid?

“Well?” Nina swallowed a bite of cookie and leaned toward her. “Are you going to tell us why you’re dressed like a ninja warrior?”

Natasha sat back in her chair and tented her fingers over her nose and mouth. She huffed a heavy sigh. “Mars is having an affair with Maggie Bennett.”

I almost spewed my tea. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“A woman knows, Sophie. He took her home after Patrick was killed. He didn’t have to do that. He should have stayed with me, to comfort
me
. And I have come to the sad conclusion that her appearance at my party as Morticia Addams was no coincidence. She knew he would be dressed as Morticia’s husband, Gomez.”

“I hardly think—”

She interrupted me. “He’s entirely too happy. He keeps making excuses to be out of the house, like that nonsense about having to work on the haunted house.”

“Actually,” I said, “that’s true. It was part of the deal.”

Her eyes tightened and her mouth worked into an angry slash. “I know he’s with her. I just can’t catch them together.”

“In that case, shouldn’t you be over at Maggie’s house, sneaking around her yard?” Nina plucked another cookie off the plate.

“I went there first. That house is impossible to see into. She bricked off the service alley on the side of the house, and there’s no alley in back whatsoever. I had to go one street back, guess where her house might be on the block, and sneak through some stranger’s yard only to find there’s a huge brick fence separating the backyards of the properties. Maggie’s house is like a fortress.”

Natasha broke off a thumbnail-sized piece of cookie and popped it into her mouth. “Then I thought Mars would be sleeping in your family room, and that if I could see in and the sofa sleeper was empty, I would know he wasn’t here.”

“Maybe you’re just wrong about Mars having an affair.” I swallowed a large gulp of butterscotch schnapps and hoped it would calm me enough to sleep. Natasha’s pronouncement, not to mention my own feelings of guilt, had set every hair on my head on edge.

“How long have you known me?” Natasha’s eyes flashed a stormy warning. “
I
am never wrong.”

Halloween morning blew in with a vicious wind that howled at the windows. Gray skies accented bare tree limbs that reached up like the gnarled fingers of witches. I slid into a fuzzy purple bathrobe, snuggly and warm, yet shapeless and unattractive, which would be best if Mars was up and about. No one was stirring yet. Glad for the time alone, I fed Daisy and Mochie and put on toasted praline coffee and turkey sausages that made my mouth water the second they hit the pan and sizzled.

I poured a mug of coffee and did a head count for Jen’s birthday party. Seventeen people at least. Taking advantage of the quiet, I mixed a double batch of Jen’s favorite chocolate cake—eggs, flour, butter, melted bittersweet chocolate—poured it into two sheet-cake pans and one small round pan, and slid them into the oven to bake.

I had just closed the oven door when Mars came in, rubbing his hands as though he was cold.

I poured a mug of coffee for him and, instead of adding milk and sugar the way he liked it, set sugar and milk on the table along with spoons. Maybe it was silly of me, but I didn’t want to encourage him in even the tiniest manner. It felt like a betrayal, even if Natasha had lured him away from me once. Besides, there was Wolf to think about. In the chaos of the moment, with a killer on the loose, I wasn’t in a place where I wanted to choose between Mars and Wolf. Maintaining the status quo seemed wisest.

Mars struck a fire in the fireplace, and happily, Humphrey woke and staggered into the kitchen, stretching and making unpleasant faces. “Your Natasha can inflict some serious damage when she flips a man onto the ground.”

“Natasha?” Mars continued poking at tiny flames to encourage them.

Humphrey took the mug of coffee I offered and rubbed his shoulder. “I believe I need to see a chiropractor. She was here last night. You slept through the whole thing. Seems she thinks you’re having an affair with Maggie.”

Trust Humphrey to launch into exactly the subject I wanted to avoid. To my utter surprise, Mars didn’t react at all, except to smile.

“You’re not worried?” asked Humphrey.

“She’s just insecure. Last week I had an affair with a woman who works in the back of the bakery. She’s probably a very nice woman, but she’s fifteen years older than me, and I’ve never seen her without a hairnet. The week before it was the mayor’s wife.”

“Why don’t you marry Natasha already?” Humphrey spooned more sugar into his coffee.

My eyes met Mars’s with dread.

“I guess I’m not ready to take that plunge, old man.” Mars smacked Humphrey on the back in a very masculine motion and joined him at the table.

I avoided Mars’s gaze and busied myself slicing apples for a maple syrup and apple french bread casserole for Jen’s birthday breakfast. Her mother had left a list of instructions that would keep Jen happy all day, and it began with her favorite breakfast.

Mars didn’t let me get away with avoiding him. He paraded up to the kitchen island and plucked a piece of sausage from the pan, making sure he caught my attention.

When the door knocker sounded, I dropped my paring knife, glad for the opportunity to escape to the foyer. Expecting to see Natasha, I whipped the door open, only to find Officer Wong on my doorstep.

“Wong! Come on in. How about a cup of coffee?”

She followed me to the kitchen. “I’d love a cup of java. It’s been a long morning already. I’m here on official business, though.” Wong gazed from Humphrey to Mars to me. “Guess I should have worn my PJs. What is this? Some kind of adult slumber party?”

“We’re sleeping over to protect Sophie from the killer.” Humphrey poured a cup of coffee for Wong and handed it to her. “Sausage?” He pointed at the skillet.

“Don’t mind if I do. You have good friends, Sophie.”

“What’s the official business? Have I been accused of stealing a baby again?” I sipped my coffee.

“Nope. This time you’ve been accused of stealing a husband.”

I choked. Literally choked. Mars patted me on the back as my eyes watered, and I gasped for air. Had Natasha figured out that Mars was interested in me? “I haven’t stolen anyone . . .” I wiped my eyes and glared at Mars.

TWENTY-FOUR

“Yeaaah.” Wong sounded bored and didn’t seem to equate my choking episode with guilt. “That’s what I figured, but they sent me over here to have a look around.”

Mars was standing in front of her. Since when did the police get involved in affairs anyway? “They?” I coughed and swallowed coffee in tiny sips to settle my throat.

“His wife called when he didn’t come home last night. Normally we wouldn’t react this way to a missing husband, but with the killer on the loose and attacking people, we’re checking it out. He’s probably shacked up with some honey.” Wong smiled at me. “I told them it wasn’t you, but they wanted me to come over and have a look around.”

Mars held up his hands. “No searching anything without a warrant.”

Wong’s mouth swung to the left in annoyance. “That’s probably good advice most of the time, but his wife is pressing us to get a search warrant for your house.”

It felt like my world had spun out of control. “Who? For heaven’s sake, who are you talking about?”

Wong blinked at me. “Frank Hart.”

“Ohhh.” I fell backward into one of the fireside chairs. “What a relief.” I waved a hand at her. “That I know about.” I pointed at Mars. “Mars was with me and can back me up. Frank is having an affair with Maggie.”

Wong’s brow furrowed. “Patrick’s Maggie?”

“The very same.”

“Jumpin’ jiminey! Does Wolf know about this? If their affair started before Patrick was killed, then there’s a good chance Frank is the killer.”

Mars squinted at her. “Jumping jiminey?”

“Have you got a problem with that?” Wong eyed him with cop intensity.

“No. Nooooo.”

“Wolf knows.” I was breathing normally again. And I knew something about myself. I was
not
cut out for having an affair. Not that I would have anyway for the basic moral reasons, but I could barely live with the guilt of a kiss from a man who used to be my husband and technically wasn’t married. Nope, nope, nope. Not even a chance of that.

“Mind if I have a look around, just to quell everyone’s fears?” Wong gestured toward the family room.

“Go ahead. Nina is asleep on the second floor, and Bernie and the girls are sleeping in bedrooms on the third floor.”

“Sophie! That’s extremely unwise.”

“Mars, I have nothing to hide. Frankly, I’d rather have Wong or Wolf take a stroll through the house than have some overly eager team come in here and turn my house upside down. Besides, if Frank is really missing, I don’t want them wasting their time thinking I’m hiding him here.”

I flicked my fingers at Wong, motioning at her to go ahead. The oven timer trilled, and I pulled the cakes from the oven and set them on racks to cool. With any luck, I would have a chance to whip up the frosting and ice them before the birthday girl bounded down the stairs.

“I thought they needed some kind of evidence to get a search warrant. You know, a good reason to believe that they’ll find what they’re looking for,” mused Humphrey. “Wonder what they have on you?”

“Nothing!” How could he even think that?

“It’s probably a bluff.” Mars poured more coffee for me, and added sugar and cream, just the way I liked it. “Wonder what happens when it turns out he was at Maggie’s? Do the cops tell Frank’s wife and the jig is up?”

“I suspect the jig was up when he didn’t come home last night—with or without cops involved.” I took my mug from him. “Thanks for fixing my coffee.

Wong ambled into the kitchen from the foyer. “This is a really cool house. Nina says to tell you she’ll be down shortly.”

“I gather you didn’t find Frank Hart hiding in a closet?” I sipped my coffee, a little bit aggravated that, after all these years, Mars remembered how I took it and had gotten it right.

“Not even one rattling skeleton.” She sniffed the air. “It smells great in here. My mouth is watering.” She cast a wistful look at the cakes cooling on the counter. “Gotta go. Duty calls.”

Mars saw her to the door, and I turned out the cakes and cut them.

Humphrey looked over my shoulder. “I don’t understand what you’re doing.”

I offered him a piece of cake that I had trimmed. “I hope you’ll see in a minute.” I cut the sheet cakes into mirror images of each other, placed them on a long rectangular cake board, and wedged the small round cake between them, but a little bit low.

While Humphrey and Mars studied my creation and guessed what it might be, I covered the cake with a thin layer of raspberry buttercream, flavored with Chambord raspberry liqueur. It wasn’t until I began to pipe a rich dark chocolate frosting onto the cake that they exclaimed, “It’s a bat!”

Jen and Vegas bounded into the kitchen full of energy, just as I slid the cake into the refrigerator. Jen twirled around. “I’m thirteen! Do I look more mature?”

Her purple pajamas featured black Halloween cats and laughing bats, which made Jen look more like a seven-year-old, but we all assured her that she had miraculously turned into a sophisticated teenager overnight.