The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (190 page)

If you’re afraid of heights, in poor health
, or prone to motion sickness, this is not a ride for you.  Although it’s a relatively gentle experience, you’ll be flying through the air in a craft that tilts sharply to one side.  If you do brave the ride, be sure to stow hats and loose items securely.  If you don’t, you might see your brand new
Disney
cap–or, worse yet, your purse–sailing down into the bay!

In addition to being fun to ride, the
Golden Zephyr
is an attractive element of the
Paradise Pier
panorama.  In the daylight its six sleek ships (silver, not golden, in color, despite the
Golden Zephyr
’s name) flash and wink like beads of mercury as they rotate around their tall tower. 
Paradise Pier
is the park’s most sumptuously kinetic landscape.

Like most attractions at
Paradise Pier
, the
Golden Zephyr
received its share of criticism from
Opening Day
onward.  It’s handsome and it’s fun, but at the end of the day it’s a minor offering.  You can board spinning rides like it at many carnivals, fairs, and amusement parks around the planet.  It’s not a
magical
attraction.  And, like the other original
Paradise Pier
attractions, it lacks
Disney
theming.

I
n 1991, a decade before
DCA
opened,
Disney
released the film
The Rocketeer
.  Based on a comic from the early 1980’s, the stylish film was set in 1938 and told the story of a Hollywood stuntman who becomes a superhero (the titular
Rocketeer
) after finding a high-tech jet pack.  It was a well-realized period piece with gorgeous costumes and sets infused with a 1930’s, pre-World War II aesthetic.  Critics liked the film, but audiences stayed away in droves.

Does the
Golden Zephyr
have any connection to
The Rocketeer
?  No.  But the streamlined design of the
Golden Zephyr
craft partakes of the 1920’s – 1930’s Art Deco and Streamline Moderne styles that permeated all designs of that era, from architecture to fashion to science fiction.  Comic heroes Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon rocketed to glory in craft like the
Golden Zephyr
rockets, and the
Rocketeer’s
highly stylized helmet would’ve been at home in a Buck Rogers panel.

During
Paradise Pier
’s recent transformation, Guests wondered if the
Golden Zephyr
would make the cut, and remain part of the new
Paradise Pier
.  It did. The attraction fits comfortably with the land’s new style, and budget constraints militate against its being substantially overhauled or replaced anytime soon.  Funds were lavished on far more ambitious projects like
World of Color
,
The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Undersea Adventure
, and
Silly Symphony Swings
.  As of late 2013, the
Golden Zephyr
is still spinning over the bay. 
Did You Know?
  Since the
Golden Zephyr
’s rockets are silver, why is the attraction called the
Golden Zephyr
?  “Golden” refers to California, nicknamed the “Golden State,” and golden sunbursts adorn the attraction’s tower.  “Zephyr” is a westerly wind.
Night Vision:
  The view from a
Golden Zephyr
rocket is glorious at night.  If you can work it into your itinerary without missing out on more exciting attractions, do so.  Your memory of the luminous view and the flying sensation will stay with you forever, a special souvenir. Note that this attraction closes during
World of Color
performances.
FastPass:
  No.  The
Golden Zephyr
is not linked to the
DCA
FastPass
system, and with lines that rarely exceed 20 minutes and are often as short as five to ten minutes, that’s not an issue.  Rarely do long lines create delays in boarding, but in moderate winds, the attraction is shut down for safety reasons until wind velocity drops. 
Kid’s Eye View:
  I like [the rockets] but you feel like you’re going to fall out.  The line’s always really short.

Goofy’s Sky School
(FP) (S) 
Must be 42” or 107 cm tall to ride.

[
FastView:
 
Take flight with the goofiest aviation instructor ever to fly in the wild blue yonder!  A great first coaster for small kids who meet the height requirement.  At 55 feet tall and with unbanked turns, it’s a thrill for grownups too.
]

To
DCA
’s original, California-focused creators it seemed like a great idea:  Design a compact coaster, dress it with kooky road signs and references to California car culture and Los Angeles and Hollywood boulevards like Mulholland Drive, and
voila
! 
DCA
had a fun, California-themed roller coaster small enough to accommodate Guests too young or too timid to ride megalithic
California Screamin’
.  Such were the origins of
Mulholland Madness
.  Situated on the southwestern shore of
Paradise Bay
, this opening day attraction, like so many of
Paradise Pier
’s original offerings, was criticized for its lack of
Disney
relevance.

It’s fun, though, this little coaster that gives you a surprisingly funny and scary joy-ride up and down its 55-foot high tracks.  From its single, startlingly steep drop to its sudden, unbanked hairpin turns that seem designed to send Guests crashing through billboards or hurtling off the edge of the five-story-high tracks,
Mulholland Madness
entertained Guests so effectively that it was linked to the park
FastPass
system to control the long lines.

The coaster is so fun that it was spared the wrecking ball when
Paradise Pier
was transformed into a Victorian seaside fairy land.  Instead of being demolished,
Mullholland Madness
was painted sky blue and given whimsical
Goofy
theming.

Now, instead of lining
up to ride a kooky car, Guests queue to ride a goofy barnstormer plane.  They pass the time in line by reading
Goofy
’s certicates and farm signs instead of silly road signs.  Same great attraction, but now it’s
Goofy
’s farm and flight school, not a wild ride along L.A.’s Mulholland Drive.  The
FastPass
dispensers, for example, now look like stacked crates from a cartoon farm.

Goofy’s Sky School
opened on July 1, 2011 to long lines–even the
FastPass
lines were congested!–and the lines stayed long all weekend.  But over time the initial novelty passed. 
Goofy’s Sky School
is still very popular, but when the park first opens in the morning, and right before it closes in the evening, lines can be as short as five minutes long.  During the holidays and summer weekends expect to spend 45 minutes to an hour in line unless you get a
FastPass
or use the
Single Rider
option.

Once you reach the loading zone,
move carefully as you climb into a slow-moving coaster car.  As a general rule, although the cars slow down in the loading and unloading zone, they don’t stop.

When this was
Mulholland Madness
, each vehicle was designed to look like an iconic automobile, whether a highway patrol car, a hippie van, or a classic station wagon. 
Goofy Sky School
coaster cars, by contrast, look like barnstormer planes.  Each “plane” can accommodate four Guests, two in front and two in the back.

Each vehicle contains mesh pouches to hold your loose items.  This coaster is no
California Screamin’
, but there are some surprising jolts and swerves, and loose items might fall out and vanish if not secured.

Once your vehicle nears the turn to the launch hill, your seat restraints can be pulled down.  Don’t pin yourself uncomfortably, but make sure you and your little ones are securely restrained.  If you need any assistance, signal a Cast Member before you leave the loading zone.

The vehicle’s first turn is to the left; your coaster car immediately tilts back as you’re chain-pulled up the steep five-story-high launch hill.  This is lesson number one from
Goofy
–learning to take off.  As at
Disneyland
’s
Matterhorn
,
Space Mountain
, and
Splash Mountain
, and
DCA
’s
California Screamin’
, being dragged clickety-clack up high hills at a sharp angle builds the anticipation.  This is the point where some Guests who were ambivalent about riding start saying things like “Oh no, I don’t want to do this!”  But you’ve passed the point of no return!

At the top of the hill, your ride begins on a
level (but jolting!) surface, as your plane swerves crazily on a serpentine journey from hairpin turn to hairpin turn.  The curves aren’t banked, meaning that the track remains flat instead of curving up to give Guests a smooth ride.  Expect lots of shrieks and shouts from your seatmates, and possibly from yourself, especially when it looks like you’re about to plunge over the edge or through a billboard!

Even though you’re swerving crazily, the views from five stories up are terrific, encompassing
Paradise Bay
and the many attractions that circle it, and the adjacent
Grand Californian
and
Paradise Pier Hotels
.  Enjoy the view while you can, because soon the tracks dip downward, and gravity does its thing, yanking your coaster car down a series of mild dips and that one dramatic plunge.  There are “head chopper” moments when it looks like a low beam is going to decapitate you, but never fear. 
Imagineers
calculate all clearances scrupulously; it’s only an illusion that you’re about to lose your head!

The ride is slightly less than two minutes long, but what an action-packed, zany treat it is, at speeds of up to almost 30 mph.  Before you know it your coaster car is negotiating the final shallow hills and pulling into the unloading area.
 
Goofy
’s voice welcomes you back to
terra firma
.

Some Guests become a little panicked when they try to lift their restraints and the bars stay in place.  Relax. 
Only when the cars coast into the actual unloading zone will the restraints unlock
.  This is to prevent foolhardy Guests from lifting the bars during the ride.

Once you can release your safety bars, help your little ones to do the same and then step carefully out of the vehicle, to your left, assisting your kids.  The vehicles slow but they rarely stop; in the interests of efficiency, they continue to glide slowly from the unloading to the adjacent loading zone.

Be sure you’ve retrieved any belongings you placed in the mesh pouches.  Then follow the exit signs and head back down to ground level.  Your kids–and you–will probably want to ride again.  And again.  If the line is long, grab a
FastPass
and return later, or use the
Single Rider
option.

It’s a mercy that
Guests liked, really liked,
Mulholland Madness
, so that it was reimagined as
Goofy’s Sky School
, based on the 1940
Disney
cartoon
Goofy’s Glider
.  Creating
Goofy’s Sky School
with
Disney
story and themes was a terrific way to save
Mulholland Madness’
thrilling track design and incorporating it into the new
Paradise Pier
. 
Mulholland Madness
’ cars took their final wild journeys on October 11, 2010, and the attraction closed for good on October 12, 2010. 
Goofy’s Sky School
was slated to debut in December of 2010 but wasn’t ready.  Waiting until July 2011 was well worth it to get it right. 
Did You Know?
  In the early days of aviation, propeller-driven planes were often experimental, temperamental, and even deadly.  Pilots were brave and reckless souls who risked their lives every time they climbed into the cockpit.  Charles Lindbergh, nicknamed “Lucky Lindy,” was the most famous and successful of all the early pilots, the first person to fly nonstop across the Atlantic alone when he piloted the Spirit of St. Louis from New York to Paris in 1927.  Lindbergh was born in February of 1902, only a few months after
Walt
was born, and, like
Walt
, spent much of his childhood in the Midwest.  The first
Mickey
cartoon ever made,
Plane Crazy
, stars
Mickey
as a would-be-Lindy who takes
Minnie
on an out-of-control ride in an early prop plane. 
Walt
was wild for trains, but he liked planes too; in later life, he sometimes took the controls of the
Disney
company plane, under the pilot’s supervision, of course, since he didn’t have a pilot’s license. 
Single Riders:
Yes.  If you’re the only one in your party riding the coaster, follow the
Single Rider
signs to the stairs that lead directly to the loading zone.  A Cast Member will direct you to take an unoccupied seat.  On crowded days, this can save you up to an hour of wait time.  Of course, you need to be comfortable sharing a vehicle with strangers, but as you jolt along the swerving coaster tracks, even strangers bond quickly! 
FastPass:
  Yes.  Even though it loads efficiently, this popular attraction is sometimes thronged with hour-long lines of Guests.  During the off-season it’s sometimes disconnected from the
FastPass
system, but lines are short then, especially when the park first opens. 
Kid’s Eye View:
  [This] is for kids who are really young because it seems like a roller coaster … But if you are an older kid, it’s not as fun, and when you go on it, it seems short, calm and kind of boring.  I would suggest
California Screamin’
if you want a thrill.  [Author’s note:  My eight-year-old nephew
loves
this attraction.  He rode it perhaps a dozen times on the evening of his 2012
DCA
birthday party, his face alight with pure joy.  Six to ten years old is probably the
optimal
target age range for riders of this coaster, but Guests of all ages enjoy it.] 
Teen’s Eye View:
  So much fun for everyone.  There are a bunch of crazy turns where you think you’re going to fall off, and a few dips.  It’s really fun.