The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (134 page)

Each bumper car seats two.  After you sit, fasten your restraint and make sure your child is properly secured.  A Cast Member will check as well.  Once all Guests are ready, the bumper cars judder to life and you’re off!

Ah, bumper cars!  Who doesn’t have fond memories of riding bumper cars at local amusement parks and county fairs?  The lurch and thud of the old cars, the faintly sinister sizzle and spark of the pole that connected your car to the metal grillwork above, the scent of burning and charring, the merry shouts and laughter of the drivers.  You cracked into others and they cracked into you, and it was all just good fun, except when you were settling a score, which was
great
fun.  Of course, there was always someone whose car wouldn’t move, or who somehow maneuvered himself into a blind corner, but barring that, what could be more fun?

Tuck and Roll’s Drive ‘Em Buggies
isn’t a fast ride, nor, at about four minutes, a particularly long ride (though it’s the longest at
Flik’s Fun Fair
).  Still, it’s bumper-car fun for all ages and worth your time if the line isn’t’ long.  The red-and-white striped umbrella above casts a rosy light on the rink, and the oversize holiday lights strung from the dome add a whimsical twinkle.  Group members that don’t ride can stand at the rail and snap photos or video of you and your little one as you circle the track.

Traffic is supposed to move counter-clockwise
around the rink but, of course, someone always goes the wrong way, or stalls out, blocking the lanes.  Guests crash into each other, on purpose and accidentally, and the impacts are cushioned, mild but fun.  Circus music plays.
Tuck
and
Roll
can be heard spouting crazy gibberish that might be instructions, or commentary, or pretty much anything.  It’s the comical sound, not the meaning of the sound, that matters.

When the electricity is ratcheted down and the bumper cars shiver to a stop, it’s time to unbuckle the safety belts, take your child by the hand
, and head for the exit.  If the line is short, don’t be surprised if your child–or your parent!–wants to ride again. 
Did You Know?
  In
A Bug’s Life
, both
Tuck
and
Roll
are voiced by the same actor,
Michael McShane
.  A versatile performer,
McShane’
s career highlights have included voice work for animated features and videogames, and appearances in sitcoms such as “Frasier,” “Caroline in the City,” “3
rd
Rock from the Sun,” and “Malcolm in the Middle.”  In “The Betrayal,” the “Seinfeld” episode that famously followed a reverse chronology,
McShane
portrayed Kramer’s nemesis FDR. 
FastPass:
  No.  Like all
Flik’s Fun Fair
attractions and most attractions that load
en masse
,
Tuck and Roll’s Drive ‘Em Buggies
aren’t connected to the park’s
FastPass
system.  However, you should rarely have to wait longer than 15 minutes to board. 
Kid’s Eye View:
  I like the bumper cars but the signs tell you where to drive, so you’re not really in control; it’s for younger children who don’t know how to drive.

It’s Tough to be a Bug
!

[
FastView:
 
Fun, exciting, and funny, but too scary for sensitive tots and arachnophobes.
]

It’s Tough to be a Bug!
is a 3D film that debuted in
Disney’s Animal Kingdom
at
Walt Disney World
in 1998, pre-dating
A Bug’s Life
’s theatrical release and thereby giving
Animal Kingdom
Guests a taste of what the
Disney-Pixar
feature would be like.  At
Disney’s Animal Kingdom
,
It’s Tough to be a Bug!
is presented in a 450-seat subterranean theater under the park’s iconic, 145-foot tall
Tree of Life
.

When
DCA Park
launched in 2001,
It’s Tough to be a Bug!
, imported from
WDW
, was one of the
Opening Day
shows.  Clocking in at only 9 minutes, the film is concise, imaginative fun for all ages, but more than the film, it’s the setting that’s impressive.

Guests who want to see
It’s Tough to be a Bug
enter
“a bug’s land”
from the west, and then hang a sharp left northward.  You’ll see a clearly marked entrance arch for
It’s Tough to be a Bug
.  Pass through it, and follow the winding, downward sloping pathway which appears to have been cut through layers of soil.

This exterior
queue is where the
Imagineering
magic begins.  As you descend and the walls of dirt loom up around you, the landscape is effectively shrinking you to bug size.  The effect intensifies as you leave the fresh air behind and enter a cavern, which looks (and feels) less like a cave than the tunnel of an ant hill.  It’s eerily quiet, aside from the shuffle of fellow Guests, and the periodic chirping or scuttling of some unseen insects within the soil walls that enclose you.  The environment is unnerving on the one hand, but with its warm amber and honey colors and strings of oversized holiday lights, it’s enchanting too.

The tunnel leads you to the
subterranean
A Bug’s Life Theater
.  By now you feel as if you’re deep underground. 
Imagineering
succeeds best when it’s transporting Guests to landscapes that they’ve only ever known in fiction or in dreams, or have never imagined at all.  This was an opportunity for
Imagineers
to submerge Guests in the underground world of bugs, and they succeeded admirably.

As you pass beneath the theater entrance arch,
Cast Members give you “bug eyes”–which is to say, 3D glasses.  The tunnel opens out into a large underground lobby of caramel-colored dirt, supported by roots and tree burrs.  One of the burrs is carved in the shape of the traditional Greek theater masks of tragedy and comedy, using insect, rather than human faces, of course.  Leaves plastered to the wall are colorfully painted to advertise bug theater productions like
Barefoot in the Bark
and
Web Side Story
.

Guests can roam the immersive environment, or converse quietly among themselves to pass the time.  Periodic fictional pages entertain you, and periodic announcements let you know how
long you have to wait until the next show.  Given the nine-minute run time of the film, it’s never long.

When it’s time to enter the theater, the doors swing out toward you (so stand well back).  As always at the resort, step lively but cautiously and pick an open row, any open row.  Move forward as far as you can, filling in all empty seats, and follow Cast Member
instructions.

When everyone’s seated, a Cast Member near the front of the large theater will give you a standard introduction and safety spiel (should you need to leave for any reason, exit through the doors on the right of the theater).

This is not, repeat,
not
a show for very tiny or sensitive tots, or for any Guest with a weak heart and/or who is afraid of bugs or the dark.  This is a highly immersive show.  The theater looks like a large chamber in an ant colony, lined with tree roots, and the seats are benches of rough wood.  The illusion is really something, even before the film rolls.  And the entire theater is engineered to seemingly “attack” Guests at various points during the fast-paced performance.

An
Audio-Animatronic
version of
Flik
,
A Bug’s Life
’s inventive ant, addresses Guests from a hole in the roof above the stage.  He’s the host of the production, and explains that, well, it can be tough to be a bug, and Guests are about to see a performance highlighting that message.  Guests don their “bug eyes” and the show begins.

O
utstanding lighting effects support the 3D illusion that there are actually bugs performing on the stage.  Even grown-up Guests who know it’s only a film will quickly forget that.  The show moves at a rapid pace, and the bugs are brought to life by seasoned actors who can deliver a voice performance that registers instantly, the perfect tone, intonation, and tempo for their character and the situation.  The excellent voice cast includes
Dave Foley
(
Flik
),
Andrew Stanton
(
Hopper
),
Cheech Marin
(
Chili
),
Frank Oz
(
Weevil-Kneevil
), and
French Stuart
(the
Termite-ator
).

In addition
the immersive film and the constantly changing lights, Guests contend with effects that simulate poisonous quills being flung at them, droplets of “acid,” the skunky aroma of a stinkbug,
Hopper
’s angry criticisms, darkness, fog, giant spiders that plummet toward the audience, wasp stingers, and (the
crème de la crème
) the horrifically realistic sensation of bugs crawling under you.

Sound
scary?  It is–but it’s also delightful fun, and the finale’s lively song,
It’s Tough to be a Bug
, is a
Randy Newman
-penned gem.  As you exit the theater and drop your “bug eyes” into a handy bin, you’ll probably still be squirming, but you’ll be singing the finale tune.  And in the days that follow, you might find yourself thinking twice before you squish that ant, or that beetle. 
Did You Know?
  Although ants can’t actually create theaters, theater lobbies, and posters, they
are
amazing architects and builders.  Their underground colonies are extensive and intricate, engineered for efficiency, and include ventilation systems for admitting healthy air and expelling harmful carbon dioxide. 
FastPass:
  No.  This continuously running show isn’t linked to the
FastPass
system.  But with each performance running a tight nine minutes, Guests never have to wait long before the next show.

“a bug’s land” Gear and Grub

Gear:

P.T. Flea Market
(Closed Autumn 2010)

[
FastView:
 
Defunct.  Presented here for historical interest.  The building was repurposed as an enclosed dining area in the garden complex near the
Paradise Garden Grill
.
]

A small octagonal store at the western edge of
“a bug’s land,”
P.T. Flea Market
was a
Disney pin
selling and trading post. 
Disney pin
collectors and traders enjoyed the shop’s wide selection of pins, lanyards, starter sets, and collector cases, all of which were neatly displayed and organized along the walls.  Many items on display were limited editions.  Knowledgeable Cast Members answered your pin questions or found an answer for you.

Not a pin trader?  You still might
have wanted to pop in to peruse the slender but quality selection of
DCA
souvenirs.  With
DCA
in a state of substantial flux until its expansion finished in 2012, at
P.T. Flea Market
you could purchase a
DCA
T-shirt which displayed a map of
DCA
as it was slated to appear after the park transformation.  A more modest version of the new map appeared on a
DCA
magnet, and
P.T. Flea Market
once offered
Blue Sky Cellar
keychains for fans of
Imagineering
.

It became clear
, according to the
DCA
maps Guests could purchase at
P.T. Flea Market
, that the little shop would be removed to make way for the
Cars Land
entrance. By late 2009, the
DCA
souvenir merchandise had largely vanished from the shop, leaving a wealth of
Disney pins
but not much else, except for some
Vinylmation
Mickey
figures.
P.T. Flea Market
finally closed in autumn 2010; its shell was moved to the new
Paradise Pier
dining district in 2011. See if you can find it!
Did You Know?
 
P.T. Flea
is the shrewd circus impresario in
Disney-Pixar
’s 1998 CGI film
A Bug’s Life
. 
P.T.
is voiced by actor John
Ratzenberger
.  Mature Guests know
Ratzenberger
as genial know-it-all Cliff Clavin on the TV show “Cheers,” which ran from 1982 to 1993. 
Ratzenberger
has voiced characters in every
Disney-Pixar
film to date, and is considered by
Pixar
to be its “lucky charm,” since every film has been a popular success.

Grub:

Bountiful Valley Farmers Market
(L, D, S) (Closed Autumn 2010)

[
FastView:
 
Defunct.  Presented here for readers interested in
DCA
history.
]

Lines sometimes looked long but service was typically fast and efficient at this reasonably priced counter eatery on the southwest side of
“a bug’s land”
north of
Pacific Wharf
and east of the
Golden Vine Winery
.

Bountiful Valley Farmers Market
celebrated the down-home cuisine of California farms, and the portions were bountiful indeed, usually big enough for sharing, whether you ordered chicken, salads, or mozzarella sticks.  The menu balanced fried goodies with fresh and healthy foods.  Guests could choose between French fries or apple slices for their side dishes.  Beverages ranged from about $1.60 to $3.30 and include cocoa, coffees, juices, milk, sodas, teas and waters.

Guests wanting healthy fare could
choose among a
Caesar Salad
($7.29),
Chicken Caesar
Salad
($8.49), or the
California Wrap
($7.99), a real Golden state medley of grilled chicken, apricots, cilantro, grapes, honey, oranges, spinach, and yogurt wrapped in a tortilla.

The
Chicken Breast Nuggets
($7.99),
Farmers Market Fries
($3.59),
Fish and Chips
($8.99), and
Mozzarella Strips
($7.49) were all served with the dipping sauce of your choice (Barbecue, Honey Mustard, Hot Sauce, Marinara, or Ranch).

If you were f
eeling more carnivorous, there were
Hand-Dipped Corn Dogs
for $5.79.  With
Paradise Pier
’s
Corn Dog Castle
blockaded during the expansive refurb,
Bountiful Valley Farmers Market
was the place to get your corn-dog fix.  Other decadent delights include
Fantasy Funnel Cakes
($5.49) dosed with chocolate brownies, powdered sugar, or strawberries. 
Apple Wedges
($3.29) were a healthier option, though drizzled with caramel sauce.

Children ha
d their own menu, a choice between
Chicken Breast Nuggets
or the
Kid’s Turkey Wrap
, at $5.99 each.  Sliced apples were included, as well as a small milk, juice or water.

Seatin
g was as bountiful as the portions at
Bountiful Valley Farmers Market
; Guests chose from among a veritable prairie of picnic tables, some shaded, some open to the So Cal sun.  This was an outstanding place for families to sit together for some family bonding, chatting about their park experiences while chowing down on fresh California fare.  The
Irrigation Station
was close at hand, a fun place for little ones to visit on a hot day.  There was also a Kellogg’s fruit truck nearby, and a
Disney
-engineered collection of junk kids could rattle and plonk to create music.

T
his eatery was demolished to make way for the
Cars Land
entrance.  Although
Bountiful Valley Farmers Market
is missed, it couldn’t hold a candle to amazingly immersive
Cars Land
. 
Did You Know?
  California really
is
a bountiful land.  According to the USDA’s National Agricultural Statistics Service (NASS), California produces about half of all fruits, nuts, and vegetables grown in the United States and leads the nation in production of food as varied as almonds, olives, persimmons, pomegranates, raisins, spinach, turnips, and walnuts.  And according to California state data reports, it’s California (not a Midwestern or New England state) that leads the country in milk production.  In 2012, California dairies produced almost
42 million
pounds of milk.

Farmer
’s Market Fruit Stand
(S) (Closed Autumn 2010)

[
FastView:
 
Defunct.  Presented here for readers interested in
DCA
history.
]

Guests will find fruit carts and stands in most districts of the
Disneyland Resort
parks, but the fruit stand in the
Bountiful Valley Farm
area had a special resonance, given the vast bounty of fruits California grows and sells to the nation.

Here Guests c
ould purchase beverages like waters and juices and (mostly) healthful snacks like apples, oranges, and bananas, trail mix, grapes, pickles, and veggies.  Prices ranged from around $1.75 to $4 depending on the item purchased; grapes were $2.75, for example, while trail mix was $4.

Beverages and snacks we
re attractively arranged on shelves and in bins at the farmer’s produce stand adjacent to the
Sam Andreas Shakes
counter.  Like
Bountiful Valley Farmers Market
and
Sam Andreas Shakes
, the fruit stand perished when construction began on the
Cars Land
entrance area—but you can now buy healthy treats at
Filmore’s Taste-In at Cars Land
. 
Did You Know?
  According to the USDA’s July 2009 California Fruit & Nut Review, California produces more peaches than Georgia—more peaches than any other state in the U.S.—and California was still leading the pack in 2012.