Read The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer: My Life at Rose Red Online
Authors: Ellen Rimbauer
Tags: #General, #Fiction
glowing in the gas ?ame. I see love in her eyes. I feel her love. I
see hope and goodness. I shall remember this day forever—the
passing of life from life, generation to generation. My husband is
back in the hall outside my rooms. He is shouting, “I have a son!
I have a son!” There is joy in this house at last. I only can hope
and pray that it will last.
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23 september 1909—rose red
Good God in Heaven, I fear this house has a mind of its own.
For the past two weeks I have strolled with Adam and Sukeena
down the long halls of this grand house, just today revisiting the
East Wing, an area I feel I have scarcely seen before. Here is
located the Grand Ballroom, last used during the inaugural but
kept wonderfully fresh and white-glove clean by our dedicated
staff. I can still see the dancing, hear the orchestra (thankfully, I
cannot smell the liquor, for since Adam’s birth my senses are
severely heightened—I can hear at great distances and detect my
husband’s cigar from opposite ends of this enormous Rose Red),
recall the dashing band leader, and I am able to envision the
women’s gowns in all their glory. While Sukeena held Adam I
strolled the great room, reliving that wonderful party and beginning
to anticipate the second of its kind, now only a few months
off. Full preparations will begin in just a week or two, as I will
organize the staff and we will begin to conceive decorations,
entertainment, cuisine, invitations and all the details that must
be attended to prior to this January the ?fteenth. This was, in
fact, the basis for my visit today: to get a feel for the room again,
the walnut-paneled walls of the hallway leading to the Ballroom,
the grand oil paintings—portraits and landscapes—that John and I
purchased in Paris and London while on honeymoon. I would
like fresh-cut ?owers in the Mediterranean urns, and this will
require our gardeners to work months ahead, as the only ?owers
available will be forced bulbs, and I shall want them in quantities
of many hundreds. (This climate seems especially favorable to
bulbs, and I can foresee the day when farmers raise great quantities
of them. I have already encouraged John to buy and clear
land north of the city for this purpose, and he is considering
working a deal with the lumber barons to take over the ground
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they clear-cut, as this ground is virtually worthless to them once
the trees have been taken.)
After walking this wonderful room several times and explaining
aloud to Adam where I envisioned the drinks, the seating and
the entertainment, Sukeena and I (and Adam, in Sukeena’s arms)
left the great room and reentered the impressive hall of the East
Wing.
That I fainted and Sukeena screamed is the only reason Adam
remains unhurt, for if I had been holding him he would have
fallen with me.
There at the end of the hall, just prior to the top of the staircase,
stood lovely Laura, our missing housemaid. Missing these
many months! Her blouse hung open, partially exposing her bare
breasts and dark skin. Her skirt was missing altogether, her ruf-
?ed underclothes untied and hanging open at the junction of her
legs, her womanhood exposed, as I imagine some street whore
presenting herself. She looked so terribly saddened—a woman
recently ravaged—her hair tousled and her skin blotchy. I did not
hear her voice, but I saw her lips move and understood clearly her
words, nonetheless. “My skirt,” she said, looking at me and then
down at herself and making the motions as if tying it back around
herself. So pathetic. So ghastly!
It was then I lost consciousness and fell to the ?oor. Then that
Sukeena screamed—less from fear than it was calling for someone
to help me. By the time I regained my strength, Laura was gone.
Lost to this house—or taken by it—as she had been before.
Leaving young Adam with a chambermaid behind locked doors, I
ventured outside of Rose Red this evening for the ?rst time since
the birth. John had gone off on “business,” which meant downtown,
either to a poker game, to a business dinner or to places I
had no desire to think about. With Sukeena at my side, we struck
out for adventure, following a train of logic so easily seen: if
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Laura had indeed been spotted in the Carriage House, and if she
was now missing her skirt, then what were the chances Sukeena
and I might ?nd this piece of evidence and help the poor creature?
Perhaps it was that skirt, and that skirt only, that kept her
locked in the netherworld in which we had witnessed her. (For I
swear it was so: that woman at the end of the hall was a ghost, not
any kind of ?esh and blood. Do not ask me how this is possible,
for I know not. But it is with absolute certainty that I write this!)
I must confess to feeling a bit like a teenager, my heart in my
throat, as Sukeena and I elected to ?ee unseen from the West
Wing via the narrow servants’ staircase that deposited on the
ground ?oor between the Parlor and the Central Hall West.
From there, with Sukeena as lookout, we crossed to the Gun
Room, out to the exterior hall, between the Tapestry Gallery and
the structural south wall, and down a long, stone corridor and
through a door to the spiral stairs that access the west end of the
West Wing, off John’s chambers. (I swear he uses this hidden
stairwell to enter and leave the house without my knowledge.) We
passed through the Bowling Alley to the swimming pool, and
around the pool to the east doors that face Rose Red’s rear gardens.
Sukeena is capable of moving without any sound. My
African queen seems to ?oat above the stone, move ?uidly
around corners and remain unseen, almost invisible. Upon
reaching the garden, we both stopped to catch our breaths (me,
far more than her) and waited for our eyes to adjust to the darkness.
Oh my, but my chest hurt with the tension! Our ears
clouded with the sound of the fountain, only a matter of yards
away—directly between us and the Carriage House—we remained
in shadow along the wall of the Pool House, well off the perfectly
laid stone paths, electing a circuitous route through the plants,
shrubs and ?owers.
“I’ll have at it later!” came a male voice I did not recognize.
One of the Carriage House staff, no doubt, preparing either to
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leave the property for a beer or to retire to one of the dormitories
we provide.
Sukeena and I had chosen our timing carefully, as the
Carriage House staff is usually dismissed and done for the day an
hour or so after the return of the last horse or team. John having
taken the motorcar to his “business,” it followed that the Carriage
House would be quiet for the night (although John does park the
motorcar in a modi?ed stall in the Carriage House and would be
returning at a later hour). I assumed that Daniel, as head of the
Carriage House, would make himself available upon my husband’s
return, but Sukeena had it on good report that Daniel had
a game of dice planned at this same hour, said to be under way in
the skeet room of the basement—a room designed to launch the
clay pigeons for skeet shooting from the Loggia on the north side
of the ground ?oor, just off the Billiard Room. If true, Daniel
would be hard pressed to ?nd himself any farther away from the
Carriage House and still be on the property. That said, I thought
it in the man’s nature to have a young scout placed somewhere
about, keeping an eye out for the master’s premature return.
Probably a son of one of his workers—someone paid by a piece of
sausage or a few coins for his time. It was this scout that Sukeena
and I sought to avoid.
We settled in the shadow of a well-kept rhododendron on the
northwest corner of the garden, only a piece of the rose garden
between the fountain and our hiding spot. Directly across from
us was the dark, looming structure of the Carriage House, now all
but quiet, given its four-legged residents. (The pool, the west wall
of the house, and the Carriage House combine to form an enormous
courtyard, the only escape from the west where we were now
?rmly entrenched.) We waited for what felt like an eternity, my
muscles complaining from the childbirth I had performed,
Sukeena as still as a black rock. When we ascertained that all
human voice was gone from the place, we sneaked ahead and
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rushed across a small clearing of mowed grass, making for the
Carriage House’s west entrance—its only entrance entirely
screened from the rest of the house. If we were to confront anyone,
it would be someone inside the Carriage House. (I had several
rather clever excuses for the two of us showing up at the
Carriage House unannounced like this, and even one or two that
might help cover that fact so my husband would not ?nd out. As
it turned out, we didn’t need them. At least not right away . . . )
Sukeena led the way across the short open space and into the
shadow of the Carriage House. I tell you, my heart felt ready to
burst as I ducked and hurried through the garden and out across
the short expanse of crushed stone driveway that accessed the
Carriage House. We pressed our trembling bodies up to the
building’s cool wall and tried to catch our breath. I glanced at
Sukeena and nearly burst out laughing, I was so nervous. She
remained stoic and impassive—hard to read. I don’t know if she
enjoyed it half as much as I. Perhaps she feared losing her job—
and it was only then I saw the dif?cult position I had put her in.
She would not refuse me—not ever, I’m sure of it—and I had
placed her in the awkward position of leading me into the mouth
of the lion. (It is not that I am forbidden to visit the Carriage
House, but to search it for a woman’s missing garment is another
matter entirely!)
After a moment of collecting our courage, together Sukeena
and I calmly turned and entered through the massive open doors
at the west end of the Carriage House, as if we had not a care in
the world. The doors had been left open, presumably to allow for
the return of John’s motorcar later this same night. It afforded us
easy access as we stepped onto the wide redwood planks, a dusting
of straw beneath our feet, the gorgeous Carriage House ?ooded
in dim electric light, not a soul in sight. I have always loved the
smell of horses, and entering the Carriage House brought me
back to my childhood. The stall doors are made of wrought iron
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and carved redwood and operate nearly soundlessly. (Daniel is
the ?nest stable master in the state, by some accounts.) It is a
two-story barn, the bottom occupied by horse stalls, room for
several carriages, a tack room and a saddle room and Daniel’s
of?ce. The upstairs loft is primarily for straw and hay storage,
though several large rooms were constructed here for cold storage
as well. I assumed most of these to be empty, as we had occupied
Rose Red for less than a year, and these rooms were intended for
“over?ow” storage. (Mind you, I can’t imagine ever running out
of basement storage in Rose Red—it’s the size of a school playing
?eld.)
Sukeena and I stopped many times, trying to discern the
sounds and to separate man from animal. Thankfully, we heard
no one, and so continued into the depths of this large barn. I will
admit here, where I share my innermost secrets, that I was imagining
the worst. If Laura was missing her skirt, I feared a man
responsible. Need I say more? I feared Daniel’s participation in
this matter—his allegiance to my husband is unquestionable. I did
not forget Daniel’s disclaimer concerning Laura, made in front
of all the staff. He had not seen Laura—or so he said.
We passed stall after stall of some of the ?nest horses in this
part of the country: Summertime and Rex are my favorites for I
helped buy them, but all the horses here are extremely ridable
and elegant examples of their breeds. John knows his horse?esh.
In the middle of the building, we found the tack room and the
saddle room locked up tightly. Disappointed, we continued on.
Daniel’s of?ce was locked as well. We moved silently down the
center hall, Sukeena careful to check behind us every few seconds,
looking back toward those wide open doors at the west end, fearing
someone might ?nd us out and beg an explanation. The stalls
were bigger in this east end of the Carriage House, large sliding
doors accessing one carriage after another—six in all, three to a
side. The ?rst two were ornamental carriages—one a single-pull;
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the other intended for a pair. We peered inside through the
wrought iron. The pony carriage and the sleigh were next, followed
by two large hay wagons, the last of which was rigged to hold
a ?re-?ghting pump, if ever needed.
I can offer no explanation for why Sukeena stopped in front
of the door to the second to last storage area, no reason for her