The Devoted Winter: BWWM Billionaire Romance Novel (Her Winter Love Series Book 1) (12 page)

“So... the other night meant nothing to you?” Lucian asked her. His voice was a little louder than before.

“This isn’t right,” Nadiyya said, her voice beginning to shake.

“Damn it Nadiyya, answer the question!” Lucian demanded.

“I… Lucian, I can’t do this. We just can’t do this,” Nadiyya said. Her lip was quivering as she tried her hardest not to cry. This was too much for her. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Lucian yet, but he’d forced her hand.

“Nadiyya, do you even love me? I almost gave up
everything
for you? Why do you have to be so goddamn difficult? Why can’t you just say that you love me?” Lucian asked.

“I’m sorry,” Nadiyya said. She pushed past Lucian and ran out into the cold. The frigid air chilled her tears as they flowed down her cheeks causing them to sting even more. Once she was around the corner from her office and safely out of sight, Nadiyya cried all the way home.

**********

Chapter 13

Nadiyya curled up on her couch with a bottle of red wine from the drug store. She wept her eyes out for hours, wondering how everything in her world had just gone to shit. It wasn’t too long ago that she was actually happy in Vermont. She had friends, she was on the verge of starting a company that was destined to make six figures. Now Nadiyya felt lower than she’d felt in a while. Each swig of red wine burned her throat but she kept drinking and contemplating her life with each fiery sip.

Nadiyya missed everything about her life before Lucian. She had made the mistake of thinking that love would give her what she thought she was missing in her life. By all standards, she had it all. She lived away from the city, she had a fancy apartment and a best friend. Back then, she’d wanted nothing more than to complete the package by having someone to come home to.

Love proved to be far more complicated. The man she’d fallen in love with was from another world and his world was filled with drama and complexity. He was married to an insane woman who happened to be pregnant with his child. His wealth and mood fluctuated like crazy. Everything about Lucian was difficult… But Nadiyya had to face the facts. She still wanted him.

The thought encouraged her to imbibe a huge gulp of wine. Perhaps thinking love would fill her up was a mistake, but was it a mistake to leave Lucian just because things were complicated? The world was always complicated. Nadiyya had hoped that by making things black and white, some of that complexity would be lifted. But here she was, crying and drinking alone. Nadiyya wailed into her pillow feeling weak and lost. It wasn’t just because of Lucian, it was everything that had happened to her. She’d grown up under the toughest circumstances and finally thought she’d be able to break free from a life of endless suffering. But that suffering had continued. Her best friend turned out to be a snake and there had been seemingly endless roadblocks between her and her goal to make a name for herself in the world of business.

Nadiyya had finished around half of her bottle of wine. Just the smell of it was starting to make her sick. She was truly at rock bottom and in times like this, there was only one person to turn to. Nadiyya corked her wine bottle and began to pray. She asked her God for guidance and for strength. When Nadiyya fell asleep, she began to dream almost instantly. Perhaps it was God speaking to her or merely a message from her subconscious. In her dream, she pictured what her life would be like with and without Lucian. She saw a vision of the happiness she could have, and the happiness she would be giving up.

Nadiyya woke up with a start. She still felt a little tipsy but she felt as if her prayers for guidance had been answered. Nadiyya realized she’d made a mistake. She had been so sure of herself but why? She had no way of knowing what life would be like if she accepted Lucian and all his complications. Hell, he had billions of dollars and she had never given the idea that she might actually be happy with him any consideration. Nadiyya realized that she was full of her habitual self doubt. She didn’t trust her senses, her intuition or her emotions. Self-doubt wasn’t the way to a happy life; in fact her self-doubt was the cause of so much of her misery.

She was giving up the love of her life just because things were complicated. She had ignored the fact that she loved him more than any man that she’d ever met. She ignored the fact that Lucian was the only
person
she’d ever met that had fully supported her dream of being a successful entrepreneur. He had come in with his own ideas and his money but ultimately he had appreciated her thoughts and ideas too. Unlike her former best friend, Lucian hadn’t tried to undermine her all. Things were complex, but that didn’t mean she had to give up on Lucian or on love.

At this point it was probably too late to get Lucian back. She’d hurt him too many times, she had flip flopped between loving him and leaving him. There was nothing that would stop him from just turning her away if she tried to win him back now. But Nadiyya was a little drunk and motivated to get him back by her sudden realization. It was brutally cold outside and Nadiyya wasn’t sure if she remembered the address of Lucian’s hotel correctly. Despite that, she got dressed and prepared to go out.

Nadiyya had the wherewithal to call a cab. It was twenty degrees below zero and if she were exposed to the air for more than a few minutes she would likely be left with debilitating frostbite. Nadiyya only felt slight respite from the cold when she entered the cab. Her teeth were chattering as she gave her driver directions to Lucian’s hotel. When Nadiyya got out of the cab, she half stumbled her way to the front desk of the hotel.

The concierge eyed her suspiciously. It was the typical racist glance that Nadiyya had become accustomed to when she moved to lily white Vermont. “Good evening,” Nadiyya said politely to him. “Can I help you miss?” he said with a hint of disgust in his voice. Nadiyya didn’t have the time to fight this bullshit today. “Can you tell me Lucian Wynter’s room number please?” Nadiyya asked politely. The concierge looked up at her with an eyebrow raised. He knew who Lucian Wynter was and he had no idea what he would want with a woman like her.

“I’ll… page him first,” the concierge said. Nadiyya waited patiently at the hotel counter. She noticed how fancy the interior of the hotel was, fancier than anywhere she’d ever been before. Nadiyya had never really stepped inside Lucian’s world before but she liked what she saw. After a few minutes of staring around the hotel’s lobby, the concierge finally said, “Miss, Mister Wynter will be having you up now.” The concierge looked at Nadiyya with disdain as she made her way towards the elevator.

Nadiyya nervously tapped her fingers together as she waited to arrive at his suite. When she got there, she rang on the doorbell. Lucian opened the door. “Nadiyya, what do you want?” Lucian asked harshly. “Can I come in Lucian?” Nadiyya slurred.

“You’re drunk Nadiyya,” Lucian said. His eyes were bloodshot and his clothing was the most disheveled that Nadiyya had ever seen.

“Please Lucian,” Nadiyya pleaded. He couldn’t resist her pleading. Lucian was twice as drunk as Nadiyya was and his will to say no to her had diminished. He just couldn’t figure out why she would come all this way so late at night. They were finished. She’d made that much clear.

“Come in,” Lucian said reluctantly, allowing Nadiyya into his room.

Six empty bottles lay scattered around the room. The scent of whiskey almost caused Nadiyya to vomit. The room was luxurious beyond belief but terribly messy despite the room service. Nadiyya took a deep breath, looking directly as Lucian as he stared her down.

“What do you want Nadiyya? Haven’t you done enough? If you’ve come in here to rub it in… leave,” Lucian said.

“I’m not here to rub it in,” Nadiyya said softly.

“Then what
are
you here for,” Lucian asked

“I love you Lucian,” Nadiyya said.

“Nadiyya…” Lucian sighed.

“I love you. I’m finally saying it. I love you. I love you,” Nadiyya said. She stood there crying, hoping that Lucian would accept her profession of love. Lucian looked at Nadiyya standing there crying and thought she looked more beautiful than ever. He didn’t know what to make of her confession but it was everything Lucian had wanted to hear. What made her change her mind?

Lucian walked over to Nadiyya and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I love you too Nadiyya,” he whispered and kissed her cheek. Both of their pain seemed to melt away the moment his lips pressed against her cheeks.

“It feels so good to finally be able to say it,” Nadiyya said as she kissed Lucian again.

“What made you come over here Nadiyya? I thought this wasn’t what you wanted,” Lucian asked, pulling away from her for a moment.

“I was wrong Lucian. I know what I want now and it’s this,” Nadiyya said moving closer to Lucian and kissing him on the lips again. Lucian kissed Nadiyya back hard running his hands down her back and cupping her ass. Nadiyya squealed in pleasure as Lucian began to kiss her neck and shoulders. His lips still smelled of scotch as he kissed her all over. Nadiyya began to unbuckle Lucian’s belt so she could access his growing erection.

What better way to convey “I love you” to someone? Nadiyya got down on her knees before Lucian and pulled his boxers and pants down. His dick was completely hard by the time Nadiyya got her hands on him. Clear precum oozed out of the tip. Nadiyya licked around Lucian’s dick head slowly, savoring the taste of his hot flesh. She took his dick deep into her throat so the tip of it touched the back of her throat. As Nadiyya gagged Lucian shoved his dick into her mouth. Lucian’s dick swelled in pleasure as he got closer to erupting his hot liquid into Nadiyya’s mouth.

Lucian’s pleasure rose as he thrust deep into Nadiyya’s warm wet mouth. The sight of Nadiyya’s delicate mouth wrapped around his hardness. Lucian gasped as Nadiyya deep throated his dick again. But Lucian’s burgeoning orgasm could only be satisfied by pushing his dick deep inside of Nadiyya. He could only be satisfied by fucking the shit out of the woman he loved, the woman who loved him back.

Nadiyya got up from her knees when she realized that Lucian was close to finishing. She began to peel off her clothing slowly. Lucian became enticed the more skin Nadiyya revealed. His tongue teased Nadiyya’s skin until she was completely undressed in front of him. No matter how many times he had seen her body, Lucian was still amazed at how beautiful and voluptuous Nadiyya was. Her curls seemed to frame her face better than ever that night.

Lucian bent his head to Nadiyya’s breasts, whirling his tongue around her areolas and taking as much of her flesh as possible into his mouth. Nadiyya moaned and Lucian grabbed her hips to pull her closer. He lifted Nadiyya easily and moved her to his bed as he kissed her again and again. Nadiyya wrapped her lithe legs around Lucian’s slim waist. She was aroused by the ease with which he carried her, making her feel lightweight and sexy.

As Nadiyya lay on her back, Lucian’s lips traveled down her body. She squirmed as his wet lips made contact with her velvety skin. He fondled her breasts and hips as he moved closer to her moistened treasure. Nadiyya’s skin prickled in excitement as Lucian got closer. This was always her favorite part. Nadiyya felt lucky to have found a man who was so very giving when it came to that kind of thing.

Lucian’s lips touched the outside of Nadiyya’s pussy lips. She was almost instantly consumed by the thrill of his touch. Lucian licked Nadiyya’s length and dove his tongue between her pussy lips. Nadiyya quivered and inhaled deeply as she tried to hold off her orgasm for a few moments while Lucian worked her. Nadiyya bucked her hips and cried out as she exploded in pleasure. Her body was electrified with sensual energy and she couldn’t wait for Lucian to take her.

Lucian couldn’t wait either. He positioned himself outside Nadiyya’s wetness and entered her in one thrust. Nadiyya groaned and clawed at Lucian’s muscular back. She felt his prickling skin and the tickle of his lips against her cheek as he began thrusting hard inside her. “Yes Lucian! Yes! Fuck me!” Nadiyya screamed. Lucian started to pound her harder and harder.

“Oh god! Oh god!” Nadiyya yelled as she came again. Her pussy throbbed as she creamed around Lucian’s dick. He brushed her hair out of her face and gave her a deep french kiss as he pummeled her hard. Nadiyya’s heart fluttered as Lucian continued to ram his dick into her. He was such a good lover, attentive and sweet without offering the roughness that Nadiyya so desperately craved.