The Devil's Tattoo (4 page)

"Tomorrow?" This can't be
happening. I need time to mentally prepare myself.

"Tomorrow night at
Cherry
,"
Dee said proudly.

"
Cherry
?"
Cherry
Bar
is probably Melbourne's most famous rock venue. It sits off AC/DC Lane
in the city and is a tiny hole in the wall. It attracts rockers, punks,
indies
and all kinds of alternative types.

"We're supporting Ipswich."

I know Ipswich is a hard rock outfit
that have been doing pretty well locally. The thought of playing before them
made me even more edgy.

"We've got the songs, Zoe. With a
cover, we've got a tight set. This will be amazing."

The thought flowed through my mind that
there would be people I knew there.
People that didn't like
me all that much.
What if I bombed? It would give them fodder for years.

Dee seemed to read my mind. "It's
your chance to rub their faces in it."

"But…"

"No buts," he scolded me.
"I'd say picture them all naked, but that's a bit of a cliché."

"And it'd scar me for life."

"Ugh, don't go there."

"You went there first."

Dee pulled into the drive of my
apartment block and kissed me on the cheek. "If I don't see you
tomorrow, I'll pick you up at six thirty sharp. Doors at eight."

"Okay," I replied, getting
out the car and retrieving my guitar from the back.

As he drove away, I couldn't help but
feel my stomach churn already and what ifs bounced around my brain. Before,
when I thought about becoming fodder for gossip again? That was my only real
fear. After the break up with my ex, everyone turned on me. They didn't want to
hear my side of the story and
Walls
?
Walls
 was
my side. What would happen if someone I knew from before was there and heard
it? What would happen then? I was worried it would drag everything back up the
moment I began to feel happy and destroy this great thing that Dee had created
for me. That's what I was most afraid of.

Was I destined to feel afraid the rest
of my life because of what someone else did to me?

The guys in Ipswich were actually
pretty nice. They'd listened to our hastily recorded CD of songs and were happy
to have us along to support after another group dropped out at the last second.
They'd been hanging round in the alley out front of the bar when we arrived and
chatted to us like we were already friends. They had four members like we did,
but all guys. All of them dressed like they were
Guns'n'Roses
and AC/DC hybrids. Black skinny jeans, torn t-shirts and long hair ranging from
below the ears to almost as long as mine. 

Being in the band meant you had to be
there early to set up your gear. In a small venue like this, you had to DIY.
There was no such thing as a roadie and you even had to find someone to help
with the sound. Luckily, Ipswich's guy helped us out since we'd come on at such
late notice. We were doing them a
favour
, apparently.
Even they didn't have enough songs to fill two sets.

We were sitting in the corner on some
couches drinking and passing the time until it was time for us to go on. Frank
was all worked up and ready to go. He'd done this a million times and so has
Chris who's so mellow, I'm jealous. Right now, I felt like throwing up. Dee has
an uncanny ability to guess what I'm thinking and he poked me and feigned
throwing up.

"Not funny," I said with a
groan.

"Take your hair out," Dee
said, tugging on my braid.

"Why?"

"I'm not getting up there with you
looking like that. And if you do happen to throw up, I'll hold it out the
way."

"Thanks, girlfriend," I
punched him in the shoulder.

"You look better with it
out," he laughed. "Image,
Zo
Zo
. And you can hide behind it and people think it looks
rock'n'roll
."

I pulled my braid out and shook my
hair, much to Dee's amusement. I'm suddenly very glad I let my fringe grow
out, because now I can hide behind it as well. If your eyes are the windows to
your soul, then on stage I don't want anyone looking into them.

One of the guys from behind the bar
leant over and said something in Dee's ear and my heart almost stopped.

"Time to
rock'n'roll
,
Zo
Zo
," he said to me.

I swallowed hard and for the first
time,
I looked up at the crowd around us and understood just
how popular Ipswich are. The place is crammed with people and now I had to go
and play in front of them.

"Close your eyes and jump,
sweetness." Frank wrapped an arm around my waist, guiding me through the
throng.

"We believe in you." Chris
squeezed my shoulder as he passed.

I stepped up onto stage and slung my
guitar strap over my shoulder and I can't hear a word Dee is saying into his
mic.
Frank smiled at me from behind the drum kit and began
to count us in for the first song. It's now or never, so I turned around and
began to play, the words of our opening song tumbling from my mouth and I
imagine myself in Frank's back room. We're at rehearsal. No one else is here. I
know the stuff. I know it. It's going to be awesome.

Then the first song is done and the
crowd is clapping and cheering and I don't understand what's going on until Dee's
in my ear saying, "They fucking love you
Zo
. I
love you."

I grinned up at him and
realised
he was right. They
were liking
us. They
were really liking
us. We powered through our
set, not skipping a beat and all too soon it was time for
Walls
. The
song that bared my soul and nausea washed over me.

"This next song," Dee was
saying, "is one that's close to home. It's quite personal and we hope that
it resonates with some of you. It's called
Walls
.
”

Taking a deep breath, I dove into it,
playing the intro solo, and as the music progressed, Chris added his bass and
Dee came in on the second guitar part. Frank was playing a soft beat and other
than the hum from the bar at the back of the venue, everything seemed deathly
still. I forgot about the crowd in front of me and began singing.

There's a calm in the stories now told

A tale of a girl gone wrong

Turned on Set upon Smash and burn

I guess you know why

There were no lies in the way she
lay

Broken, Alone, No place to call home

Split apart,
You
splintered her bones

A lie you told why

The Walls have gone up, the Walls have closed down

The Walls that you have built up

Built up inside you

There was more than a break in the smiles

I'd never known her to cry

A river, a lake, a flood plain

She's shaking lost again

You splintered her bones

Splintered her bones

Slamming the Walls down

The Walls have gone up, the Walls have closed down

The Walls that you have built up

Built up inside you

As the last chords of the song echo out
into silence, I felt confidence brimming inside me and I looked up right into
the eyes of Will Strickland and I almost tripped over my guitar lead, my heart
doing a little flip-flop. He was shaking his head, a grin on his face, clapping
along with the rest of the crowd around him.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I
ripped out the lead from my guitar and made a hasty exit, stage right, not
quite understanding why it had riled me up. Suddenly, I grimaced, 
realising
that somewhere along the line, I had developed an
epic crush on him.

Dee appeared behind me and helped me
begin to pack away our gear so Ipswich can set up.

"You were ah-maze-
ing
," he grinned at me. "What a rush, huh?"

"Yeah," I sighed,
realising
it was more the rush from just having shown
myself and everyone out there
that I can do this band thing,
than seeing Will Strickland in the crowd. "Yeah, it was."

"
Wanna
do it again?"

"Sure."

The rest of the night, I hardly looked
at anyone. If someone said hello, I would peek out from under my hair and say
hi. Mostly, I didn't
recognise
anyone and I breathed
a heavy sigh of relief. Our set had gone over well. So well, people stopped us
to say how much they liked it and a few even asked if we had an EP. When I
finally stood at the bar, I almost had a heart attack when I saw Will
Strickland standing right next to me, his arm pressed up against mine in the
tight space. The sudden awareness of my crush tingled down my bare arm making
me jerk away.

He suddenly
realised
I was standing there and looked at me with a sly grin on his face. Like the
wolf
who
'd caught the lamb unawares.

"Hey," he said with a
lopsided grin.

"Hey," I said and almost
choked when Dee grabbed my arm and pulled me away.

"Not on my watch," he said,
glaring back at Will.

"What the hell are you
doing?" I'm almost shouting at him.

"He's not right for you."

"Who died and made you my
Dad?"

"Zoe," he ran a hand over his
face, "I just got you back. A guy like that will just use you and chuck
you back just as broken as before. I can't see you like that again."

"You're the one who worked so hard
to get me to move on," I said and gestured around us. "And look where
we are. He
wanted
to talk to me."

"Yeah, I want you to move on, but
not to another idiot."

I knew Dee's heart was in the right
place, but I can't say that I'm not annoyed. I knew 
exactly
who
Will Strickland was. How could I forget with Dee around to remind
me.

"Okay," I said. "From
now on, I'll let you screen all my dates. When I get some."

He knew I was having him on and his
face softened. "I expect a resume, you know."

I laughed, shaking my head. Chris
appeared beside us then and has a girl trailing behind him. She's quite pretty.
Blonde, friendly face, dressed in black jeans, boots and a fitted Ramones
t-shirt.

"This is my friend Simone,"
Chris said, nodding to the girl.

"Hi." She held out her hand
and I shook it with a small smile. "You were great."

"Thanks," I said with a
shrug.

"
Wanna
get a drink?" she asked.

"Uh, sure."

Dee pushed me towards the bar with
Simone and I couldn't help but warming to her when she linked her arm through
mine like we're already best buddies. She smiled at the bartender and she's
pretty enough that he let it slide and jump the queue.

She handed me a bottled cider a moment
later with a grin. "I noticed you had one on stage."

Wow. "Thanks. So, what do you
do?"

"I study Music Management at
Swinburne
Uni
," she said. "I have no
musical talent, not like you! I wish, though. I want to manage a band or a
venue one day."

"Oh, that's cool," I said.
She seemed outgoing enough to be able to do it and I wonder if it's why she's
hanging out with me and buying drinks. We'd played one gig and she wanted to be
my friend. Or perhaps, she just wanted to get to know me. I had to get over my
own hang-ups.