The Devil's Good Intentions (56 page)

“
But why?”

“
Pennington wanted to marry me when my Father was still alive. I was fourteen at the time and my Father said no. Pennington told me that after dinner that night they drew up a contract stating that I would go to Pennington when he died, but I ran away instead.”

“
Good thing” he murmured. “So you knew Pennington?”

“
Yes. I only saw him that one night, but I didn’t like the way he looked at me and I forgot about him the next day.” She confessed.

“
Why didn’t you tell us when you saw him at the ball?”

“
It appeared that he was willing to forget about our encounter and I had no idea about the arrangement that he made with my Father. I didn’t want to upset Salvador.”

“
It’s ok” he said gently, brushing a tear off of her cheek that she wasn’t aware she had shed.

“
I...that is...he didn’t know I was with child and I feared he would do something to me if he did know. He tried to...he...ripped my nightgown.” She managed to say on a shaky voice. Her eyes were still closed and she didn’t want to imagine how he was looking at her now.

“
Did he…” he started to ask on an equally shaky voice, his hand trembling in hers.

“
He tried to. I was already nauseous so I waited for him to...to...I threw up on him and he left.”

“
Did he touch you?”

She couldn’t tell him how or say the word so she only nodded.

“
It’s ok honey, it wasn’t your fault. Pennington is stronger and you couldn’t have fought him off. You did the next best thing and you were very brave.” He assured her.

“
We left that evening and he never came back. The next morning when I woke, there was food and water on the table. My hands were still bound but I managed to drink. Eventually the captain showed himself to me.”

This is the part that she couldn’t give a blow by blow.

“
Did he hurt you?”

“
No. I thought I convinced him to...to leave me alone but I was wrong.”

“
What happened Kat?”

“
He said he wanted to take me from Pennington and keep me for his own. He started to... but then he changed his mind. Later I was brought a bath and more food and wine. He unbound my wrists and left me alone without…touching me…again.”

Peter’s body was trembling beneath her hand and she could hear his sharp intakes of breathes as she relayed her horror.

“
I scrubbed him and Pennington off of me and when I finally felt clean; I ate the rest of the food and downed the wine. I was feeling tired and believed that he would leave me alone. I saw that he had brought me a shirt so I put it on because it wasn’t ripped like my nightgown and fell asleep on the cot.”

Now the tears streaming down her face. She was shaking just as much as Peter and she wished she could stop there.

“
It’s ok Love” he tried to say in a comforting tone, but she could tell he was speaking through his teeth – just barely containing his anger.

“
When I woke I felt…different. At first I thought I was dreaming but…it was a nightmare and I was awake!” She cried out.

“
I begged him to stop Peter I really did! I never ever wanted him but something was wrong with me and my skin…oh God…I couldn’t stop it or him! I felt like two separate people. He said he drugged my wine when I asked him what was happening to me, but he spoke in French not knowing that I understood him. I don’t know what the drug was supposed to do but I…I pleaded for him to stop! To stop touching me! To not…”

She burst out into another round of tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

“
He raped you Katherine” he said in a dead voice as he lowered his forehead to hers.

“
He played with me for a while…mocking me. And when he was about to…he was poised to…the door opened and one of his men told him of a ship heading towards us. It was because of that that I was saved from his full intent. When he told me before he left that I belonged to him now, I knew I couldn’t live. I wanted to die rather than have him touch me again. I washed him off again but I couldn’t go near the cot. And then you found me.”

She refused to say more, she couldn’t. She cried into her pillow as Peter held her.

~

He heard it all and he felt sick to his stomach. Although Sebastian had never completed the act, he had a very good idea of what “played with me” meant. Her being on an aphrodisiac would have given him hours of fun. Most women would have begged for release as soon as the drug kicked in and it still would not have been enough. It was the perfect rape drug because their body would instinctively take over and there was nothing they could do about it, no matter how strong minded they were. He could only imagine the internal battle that she must have gone through to try and deny what her body so desperately needed. When she had confessed she thought it was a dream at first, he was immediately reminded of that filthy whore who had tried to trick him and now he understood that he was not in his right mind and when he was he ended it. He was no more at fault than she was. Charles had been beside him as Katherine relayed her nightmare and there were times he had to squeeze his shoulder to remind him to remain quiet and calm.

If Katherine was going to get through this, he needed to remain strong for her. Sure he was torn up inside and felt as though he had failed his wife when she most needed him. He would never show her that, she needed him to be her anchor and he would not let her feel as though she had any control over the situation and he most certainly would not let her feel sorry for herself. She was a survivor and she would survive this too. The question was would he?

He quietly stepped into the room and placed his hand on Peter’s shoulder.

Peter looked up and Salvador wasn’t surprised to see tears running down his cheeks.

Peter turned back to Katherine.

“
Honey, none of this was your fault. There is absolutely nothing you could have done differently to change anything that happened. Sebastian is dead and he will never ever come back for you and soon Pennington will be too. I vow it. You have a family now who will help you through this and soon this will all seem like a far off nightmare. Ok?”

Katherine still hadn’t opened her eyes but she nodded.

“
Ok. Salvador is here and he’s going to take care of you now, I’ll check in on you later.”

Peter kissed her forehead and then her hand.

When he disentangled his hand from Katherine’s and stood on wobbly legs, they looked at each other with understanding in their eyes – Pennington had to die.

Salvador broke the eye contact and clapped Peter on the shoulder and then turned to his wife.

She looked like a broken doll and he wasn’t sure how he was going to put her back together. Leaning down, he lifted her up into his arms and then sat back down on the cot cradling her in his arms.

She tucked her face into his chest and her tears soaked through his shirt. He heard the click of the door closing and was grateful for the privacy.

“
I had been going out of mind with worry for the past few days.” He spoke into her hair. “I knew something was wrong and I felt like a caged animal not being able to do anything about it. Everyone thought I had lost my mind when I ordered the ship to pick up speed, except for Charles who knows to never question my instincts. When I saw Sebastian’s ship, I knew without a doubt that that was where I needed to be.”

“
I’m so sorry Salvador; I don’t know how they got to me.” She spoke into his chest.

“
I never want to hear you apologize for something you had no control over, especially anything that happened over the last few days.”

She nodded meekly into his chest.

“
Love, I told you I wouldn’t let you hide from me again and I meant it. Look at me Sweetheart.”

She hugged him tighter and tried to bury her face even deeper into his chest. Her breathing was off and he could tell she was trying to hold her tears in.

“
Come on love…” he prompted her as he stroked her hair.

It took a while but finally she was able to look up at him. Her nose was read, her eyes swollen, face pale and her cheeks were wet.

He handed her a handkerchief and she blew her nose. She almost tucked her face back into his chest but stopped herself in time, which was a good sign.

“
Now Love, what I have to say to you is very important so you need to listen very carefully.” He started.

Her eyes were open and he knew they wanted to be closed. He saw the shame and fear in her eyes and knew exactly what was going through her head.

“
I heard everything that you told Peter, you’ll never have to speak out loud of those events again if you choose not to.”

She looked frightened, as though he was her judge and jury and she was about to be sentenced.

He leaned down and kissed her lips, gently.

“
The drug that Sebastian gave you was an aphrodisiac. It’s not meant to affect your mind, it is meant to affect your body. Most women give in to their body and throw caution to the wind, you did not. Even if you had Love, I would have never blamed you, ever. Those drugs are potent and you cannot fight your body’s responses to it. No matter how hard you try, your body will always react to it. You did absolutely nothing wrong Katherine, nothing. Even if you wanted to give in to him and even if he gave you release, I do not judge you - that’s what the drug was meant to do.”

“
I tried Salvador, I really did. He wanted me to admit that I wanted him but I never did.” She confessed in a tortured voice.

He was having a hard time remaining calm. Just the thought of another man touching her was beyond what he could endure, but this was harder because it was through the most evil form of rape that there is. If Sebastian had forced his way on her and let her fight, this would have been much easier on her. But thanks to the drug, her body became a willing participant and that’s what got to her – and him.

“
I’m going to take you home and I will never let anyone touch or hurt you again. Do you believe me?”

She stared at him for a moment. He supposed she was trying to see if there was any rejection or condemnation in his eyes but she found none.

“
Yes” she whispered.

“
Good. Now, how is our child holding up?” he asked gently.

He had felt the bulge in her stomach and he was desperate to see how she was progressing.

“
I...I don’t feel any cramps or pains if that’s what you mean.” She responded shyly.

Women weren’t used to men enquiring about their conditions, it wasn’t usual practice for the husbands to get involved, but he wasn’t the usual husband.

“
May I see?” he asked with a hopeful note in his tone.

Her beautiful eyes widened and then she slowly nodded.

He helped her out of his lap and then stood her in front of him so her belly was level with his face.

He gently placed his hands on her legs and then slid them up, caressing them as he went along. When they reached his shirt – the one he replaced Sebastian’s with when she fell asleep – he started to lift it and he heard her intake of breath.

When the shirt was lifted to just under her swollen breasts he looked up at her face to see how she was doing. She looked unsure.

“
Hold this for me please?” he asked her.

She took the shirt into her hands and held it up for him.

She was even more beautiful then he remembered. Her skin was porcelain and the little bump that was coming out of her belly was endearing.

He placed his hands over her belly and gently kissed her belly button.

With her free hand, she softly caressed his hair and it was in that moment that he knew she would be alright.

When they would get back home, he planned on spending an entire day making love to her and erasing Pennington and Sebastian’s touch. He was so grateful that he hadn’t taken it all the way and that his ship had made it there on time.