The Devil's Beat (The Devil's Mark) (30 page)

When Max walked up to front door of Belle, there was a swarm of flies buzzing around the stains at the entrance. He waved away both the flies and the smell from his face with about equal effectiveness. He opened the front door, jumped through, and slammed it shut just as his brain flagged something weird. It was a two-fold weirdness: no flies came in with him and there had been a pile of dead flies at the threshold. He looked around to confirm the first and then opened the door a crack to check the other. Sure enough, no flies came through into the house. Those that were on course to come through the door hit an invisible wall and dropped to the ground dead.

“Cool!” said Max.

“Unless it's killing us too, only slower,” said Mike as he was coming down the stairs.

“You're too paranoid,” said Max. “But, you’re looking pretty chipper. How are Vlad and Josh?”

“Well Vlad is chomping at the bit to go find his true love. Ever since I told him about the internet, he has been bugging me to get online and search her down. For an old bugger, he seems pretty blasé about modern technology. Josh, our even older bugger, is in working on the music room.”

Max asked hesitantly. “Anything or anybody else been destroyed?”

“Not by us, but there was a headless badger and a few headless birds left at our door.”

Josh found himself getting angry at the thought. It wasn't as if he didn't have any other problems to deal with. He said, “Fucking Lucian.”

Mike was obviously surprised. “You think your manager is doing this?”

“Uh, well, I wouldn't put it past him. He is a vindictive little asswipe.”

“Sheesh Max, you really know how to pick 'em, don't you?”

Max sighed. “You don't know the half of it, Mike.”

“Maybe it’s that Tony character.”

Max frowned at that and then nodded. “Yeah, that would fit him, too.”

Mike said, “I've decided that I'm in a destructive mood today. I'm going to take down that brick wall I found the day your house tried to kill me. Hang on, I'll be right back.” Mike pushed past Max on his crutches through the front door and was back quickly with a large sledge hammer. He grinned at Max, “Great stress reliever!” He hobbled eagerly up the stairs.

Max said under his breath, “Belle, behave yourself.” In response, a piece of the stair banister broke and fell down into the hallway, but nothing lethal headed his way, so he figured they had an understanding.

After about ten minutes of steady whacking, Mike had made remarkably little progress. There were some chips of mortar and brick dust on the floor, but the wall showed no signs of giving way. Mike stopped, dropped the hammer's head on the ground, removed his hardhat, and mopped the sweat running from his face. “Damn, its hot up here. We need to work on getting some of the windows open up here.”

Max smiled. “What's the matter Mike? Didn't have your Wheaties today?”

“Ha ha. I've only got one good leg. You give it a try, Mister Universe.”

“I could certainly use the stress relief.” He picked up the heavy hammer. He knew there was no way he would last even five minutes with it, but he puffed his chest and said to Mike, “Let me show you how it's done, junior.”

Max swung the heavy hammer at the wall for all he was worth. The hammer hit amidst an explosion of brick and dust. When the dust cleared, the wall was just a pile of bricks. He gave Mike a shit-eating grin. “And that's how the real men do it!”

Mike scowled and grumbled. “Yeah, yeah. It's just because I softened it up for you.”

“Ha!” snorted Max. He peered into the dark opening. As the dust cleared, he saw a small narrow room, no more than four feet by twelve feet with solid brick walls all around. There were sets of iron manacles hanging along one side of the wall from thick rusty iron chains and something was attached to two of sets of manacles.

It was the ghostly forms of a familiar man and woman. It was Annette who spoke first. She said in a heavy southern accent. “Oh, thank the Lord! We are rescued! Please release us from this durance vile, kind sir!”

The man said, “Oh yes, please sir. If I have to spend one more moment next to this harlot, I think I shall go stark raving mad!”

Max took a step closer with open curiosity in his face. “How did you get stuck in here? Last I saw you, you were trying to burn the place down around me.”

The man replied in as dignified a manner as one stuck to a wall might. He said, “'Tis this infernal house! It has kept us here against our will since that night!”

Mike's eyes were wide with excitement when he piped in, “These are those ghosts? I thought you were just pulling my leg, Max!”

Mike looked at Mike. “Oh yeah, these are the two. Mike, may I introduce you to the former Annette...”

Annette gracefully interjected, “O'Shannosy, kind sir. I beg your indulgence and understanding of my bad manners, but as you can see, I am not able to properly greet you.”

Max continued, “And I have not been introduced this man...”

The man responded with, “Brett, good sir. Brett Babbage. And could you enlighten me with your names, gentle sirs?”

Max said, “I am Maximilian Faust and this gaping gentleman is Michael McCormick.”

“It is my pleasure to meet you. And now that we are introduced, would it be too much trouble to ask you to help free us from this most unseemly confinement?

Max eyed Brett. “I don't know. I think I agree with Belle on this one, Brett. I've grown rather fond of this house, and I wouldn't like to see it burned down.”

“Mr. Faust, as god is my witness, I assure you that I will do nothing to threaten Belle again. Please reconsider your position on this.”

Max said, “Okay, before I even try, I will need both of you to swear on your honor that you will do nothing to harm Belle or her guests, and you will do as I ask when I need you.”

Both of them swore to God.

Mike said, “Really Max, are you going to trust two ghosts to keep their word?”

Brett huffed. He said, “Sir, I am a gentleman and an officer of the Confederacy. I would never foreswear myself in life nor in death. Unfortunately, the harlot next to me cannot make that claim.”

Annette was quick with a hot retort. “You sanctimonious bull’s pizzle, I have told you repeatedly that...”

Max interjected. “My first request is that the two of you to keep your bickering out of our earshot.”

Annette stopped mid rant. “I beg your pardon, sir. I have forgotten my manners due to the extreme stress of my indelicate situation.”

Brett said, “I shall do better than that, Mr. Faust. I will endeavor to keep as far away as possible from this...woman.”

“Okay, let me see what I can do.” Max walked into the room and examined the manacles. Neither set looked like they were holding anything. It was almost like it was a ghost of the manacles themselves that was holding the two human ghosts. Max said, “Belle, you've heard that the two of them have learned their lesson and have promised to behave. I think it would be good of you to release them. You've made your point.”

Nothing happened for a moment, until a nose fell off the statue on the column that Mike was standing next to. It hit Mike on the head. The manacles disappeared just as Mike started curse. The two ghosts quickly faded out to nothing.

Mike calmed down and put his hat back on. He just glared at Max.

Max tried not to laugh. He said, “And Belle, please be nicer to Mike. He’s going to help make you beautiful again.” There was no response, so Max just looked at Mike and shrugged.

Scowling, Mike grabbed the hammer from Max's hand and headed carefully and slowly down the stairway.

Max looked at the pile of bricks and the brick prison room. It sure was uncomfortably like in the story “A Cask of Amontillado.” As he turned to follow his friend down the stairs, he wondered when he was going to wake up and find that he had been in the loony bin for the last decade.

Max headed to the music room to check up on his other guests. As he entered the room, he could see that Josh had indeed been at work on the walls. There were more of them finished and waiting for a coat of stain or paint. Max wasn't sure which they would use. Suddenly, Vlad was standing in front of Max. Max yelped and jumped back.

Vlad didn't react to Mike's startled response. He said, “Have you brought the internet so we can find my Anesha?”

“Uh no, Vlad, sorry, it doesn't work quite like that. We would need a satellite dish and a... Oh never mind. We will have to see if we can find a library or something that has a computer we can use. Then, we can get on the internet and hopefully find out where she lives. Right now, you just need to be a little patient, okay?”

Vlad stared hard at Max. He said, “If she dies or comes to harm before I find her again, I will kill you, and I will kill all your friends slowly and painfully. My parole will not stop me from this. Da?”

Max swallowed and nodded. He had to admit that Vlad had a way of setting one’s priorities straight.

He made some calls on his cell phone and passed on what he had found to Vlad. The town did have a small library, but unfortunately, it was only open Monday through Thursday. Vlad did not look pleased at the thought of waiting two more days, but Max finally convinced him that breaking into the library was not the solution. Vlad grudgingly went back to helping Josh, taking a break only to watch his show. It took a while, but to everyone's relief (and probably the life of the actress who played the abusive Cindy), the others convinced Vlad that the love of his life was not actually being abused by the buxom blonde and that no vengeance was called for.

That evening, the whole bizarre crew headed to town for some food. Everyone was surprised when Vlad insisted he was going to come along. They headed out to Bayou Bob's Crab Shack. Max was pleased to discover that Vlad couldn't read when he saw the sign proudly proclaiming, “Free Internet Access!”

Vlad had fixated on the idea that he was going to start solid food again. He grimly ate what was put in front of him and then would rush to the restroom, come back an even whiter shade of white and try again. When Max asked him why, Vlad said simply, “Anesha would not like it if I could only eat blood.” Max had a really bad feeling about introducing Vlad to the actress. When Vlad found out that she was just a normal twenty-first- century American, he might just lose it even more than usual, but Max couldn't think how they might actually stop Vlad—short of chopping off his head again.

That night Max got separate rooms at the motel for Josh and Vlad so everyone had gotten a good night’s sleep. That morning, Vlad had been exceptionally proud when he had been able to keep an egg down for a couple of minutes. He insisted that it wouldn't have come back at all if he hadn't had the slice of toast. For his part, Mike was on cloud nine. He had gotten the confirmation from his bank on the transfer of fifty million dollars from Max.

As they headed to the house, they passed by the hotel, but no one noticed the black sedans and the men in black suits and sunglasses who were swarming like wasps in and out of his room at the “Quaint and Charming Dixie Motel.” Fortunately, the suits didn't notice Max and company either.

All of them were back in the kitchen discussing what sort of changes they could make to allow for a sink and a full suite of modern appliances. Surprisingly, Vlad had started taking more interest in the trappings of modern civilization. Suddenly, he was thinking about living.

If Max himself had been thinking, or consciously aware that, “Bad Moon Rising” was playing from the music room, he would have been wary that things were going too well

Their discussion was interrupted by a faint scream from the front of house, followed by gunshots. Vlad led the charge and was already out the front door as everyone else was just entering the main hall. When the rest arrived on the scene, there was a large trail of dust leading down the drive like someone hadn't cared what the rocks and ruts were doing to their shocks, as they were getting out of there. Max could hear the distant sounds of squealing tires on the road out front. None of that compared to the sight that greeted them near the overgrown front fountain.

Vlad was standing over a body thrashing on the ground. It was the body of a short, but very round man in an expensive suit and it had no head. Max recognized the body immediately. It was Big Al, the mayor. Max cried out, “Oh, fuck!” He followed that with several other exclamations of disgust and despair.

By the time he was next to the body, it became impossible not to notice that it wasn't slowing down. It seemed awfully active for someone without a head. It flailed around until, disturbingly, it found its feet. Max jumped back as the body stood up and began stumbling aimlessly around the drive. For his part, Vlad was mesmerized. He went to the body and pushed it over again. It started flailing its limbs like a beetle on its back.

Josh said, “Dude. That is one freaky trip.”

Mike said, “That can't be the real Mayor. Where's the blood? Max, look around for a hidden camera.”

Max shook his head as the mayor's body found its feet again and proceeded to wander around aimlessly with its arms out front, zombie-style. He said faintly, “Mike I don't think this is Candid Camera.”

Josh laughed. “Dudes! He looks like humpty-dumpty!” He went over to poke at it with Vlad.

Max had to admit that it kind of did. He said, “What the hell happened to his head?”

Mike added, “And why is it still walking around without it?”

“I wish I knew, Mike. I wish I knew. Do you think whoever hightailed it out of here took the mayor's head with them? Maybe they are the guys responsible for leaving all those dead animals at the door.”

Mike turned to Max with wide eyes. “Jesus Christ Max! What the fuck is this place? Did you call your body guards back?”

Max shook his head with regret. “No, I forgot.”

That was when Max noticed a new car pulling in from the road at the far end of his drive. “Ah, Hell! We've got more company.” He waived his arms at Vlad and Josh and shouted, “Vlad, Josh, get him inside! The last thing we need is someone else seeing a headless mayor! Come on, hurry!”