The Devil Inside (Wolf Guard Book 1) (11 page)
I've
had few moments of pure bliss in my life, but sitting on the edge of that mat,
watching Charlie and Carver pound each other into the Blue padding was weirdly
satisfying. While we waited for Lane to return from the doctor, they had
decided to show me simple defensive moves which had quickly gotten out of hand
and turned less teaching and more competitive. It seemed no matter how old a
man got, that instinct never died.
Sam
was sat beside me, having moved from the benches to be closer to the action,
his rolling guffaws were a soundtrack to the grunts coming from the mat as each
hit stuck home. I couldn't say that it filled me with confidence that the very
same men who were trying to give me control over my wolf couldn't seem to
control themselves, but I couldn't deny the relaxation watching two men hurt
each other gave me. I suppose it was something to do with relief, the idea that
I wasn't completely abnormal. That the ruined part of me didn't dictate all my
actions, that maybe a little was just plain instinct.
As
the Captain and his second flew into a blistering round of trading punch for
punch the oak doors opened to two familiar blondes. Lane was still bare chested
from his earlier shift and the claw marks down his side and bite in his
shoulder were a pleasing sight. Although healing well and quickly, the marks
were visible enough so that my wolf sat up and preened in absolute
gratification, the relish she felt from seeing proof of her attack was both
amusing to me and slightly worrying due to its manic edge.
He
looked at me as he strolled onto the mat, I was expecting anger, some more of
that savage retribution he seemed to portray so well, but not the bright smile
I actually got. He nodded at me and turned to watch the fight still escalating
between Carver and Charlie. He was completely unaffected by my presence, no
lingering animosity and no promise of reckoning. I was perplexed, as was my
wolf. She had been stilled of movement by a man once so aggressive and
challenging, turned casual in his return.
Lane
was a complex wolf, one that obviously had a lot of experience in pushing those
buttons.
The
other blonde though, quickly took my wolf's attention. Hair in disarray down to
his shoulders and what seemed to have turned into a permanent scowl on his
face, he sauntered in after Lane and stood at the perimeter, alternatively
watching the fight and flicking bitter laden eyes my way. It was a bad idea to
antagonise a wild animal only just finished with her last challenge.
I
would never get bored of the searing heat that preceded a shift. It was at once
a welcome pain and glorious awakening, it was coming alive after endless
Siberian winters of hibernation. When the animal takes over, all human
insecurities, beliefs and morals become secondary to impulses and intuition.
Not that my ethics were particularly well rounded as human anyway, but the
hesitation I might have experienced in a room containing several guards and
their Captain, was long gone. The doubt about whether this man, a new Alpha who
so far had only expressed his dislike towards me did in fact deserve to die,
departed along with my human skin.
Only
Sam’s deep voice stilled my imminent surge. Whatever magic that old man had
managed to break through the haze of blood-lust and deafened ears. The moment
Alex had caught my eye, the lost kill that had been Lane refocused and centred
on him. An Alpha that in my wolf's view, was no different to the pathetic
excuse the last one had been.
"Ya
jus' got dressed girlie, Ya couldn' even pretend ta be normal?"
My
wolf swung her massive head to glare at Sam, seems even as an animal she
understood his lack of wit.
He
chuckled at her expression, I'm sure it was amusing coming from a four hundred
pound wolf. "Doncha pull tha' face at me, we had this talk already, ya
were 'spose ta
stop
tryin' ta Kill people."
A
little rumble came from her chest as if she were disappointed that she'd been
caught. From my back-seat position inside her head I looked towards Carver and
saw him standing in the middle of the mat with Charlie, a two man block between
myself and Alex. Carver's chest was bare and sweat slicked, it was a
particularly good distraction technique. The cinnamon scent rolling off his skin
in heated waves was a maddening draw for the wolf's over sensitive nose. She
flicked her tail at him, an expression of interest that I never thought I'd
see. Carver took a step forward and his beast rumbled low, it was a vibration I
felt in my stomach and it echoed through my body until it ended in hair
follicles that stood to attention for the powerful male slowly stalking,
gradually changing from man to beast with each forward step.
His
distraction may have worked, if my wolf wasn't as fractured as I was. Her
interest in him was purely curiosity – he caused odd responses in her that she
didn't understand, the most irregular, being that she had no compulsion to kill
him. Injure him yes, but not kill.
She
allowed him to move closer, she allowed Sam to move away and take up Carver's
previous position between her and Alex and she allowed a touch on her fur as
Carver's wolf bent to smell her neck. But she did not take her eyes off Alex as
he moved to the side of Sam’s back and bared his teeth.
"Control
your bitch Captain, she obviously needs a leash." His low growl was a
glaring mistake in the silence that had descended on the training room.
Fire
lit my wolf's eyes as I saw men in hues of golden red and saliva doused the
flames the thought of his blood produced in my mouth. A maniacal glee filled
the animals brain as all rational thought expired and all that remained was
extermination.
She
tensed to spring towards the moronic Alpha but was halted by the sight of an
eight foot Captain already leaping at the man still unfortunately in human
form. A deafening roar shook the building and several more guards poured
through the heavy wooden doors at their leaders call. Charlie grabbed hold of
Sam and threw him over a giant shoulder. The sight of a six and a half foot ageing
man, hanging onto Charlie's back, as he ran to drop him behind my wolf's large
frame would bring me happy thoughts for weeks to come.
My
wolf stood in silence watching the man that confused her so much, dig all ten
of his claws into the Alpha's chest. Blood poured down the blue shirt he wore
and a choking sound came from his throat as he coughed at the destruction of
his lungs. His flailing body was lifted from the ground and suspended over
Carver's head before the claws were retracted and he fell to the blooded mat.
The
newly arrived guards stared in calm muteness as they watched their Captain once
again dig his claws into the blondes chest and return with his heart clenched
firmly in his palm. They saw the dying man gasp for air trying to use lungs that
no longer worked and pump a vital organ that just moments ago he had possessed
but was now just empty space.
Carver
dropped the useless heart to the floor and grabbed a handful of that mop of
blonde hair. Bright crimson red claws fisted around the dead man's neck and
tore his throat out in a completely unnecessary display of violence. He dropped
the torn flesh to join the heart on the ground and went back for more with
those talons. His head was swiftly removed from his body and the Captain's
raging eyes turned to my wolf, still mutely watching the scene in front of her.
He
stalked towards her, Alex's head hanging from bloody claws. She cocked her head
to the side at the giant wolf approaching her and stared in bewilderment as he
dropped the head at her feet, standing straight and tall, proudly waiting for
acknowledgement of his gift.
I
sat dumbfounded in the maze that was the animal's mind. I had receded to a tiny
space within, watching the massacre and quietly admiring the ease in which
Carver had destroyed the Alpha, but I left my wolf to her own devices as he
dropped the head, I had no response of my own for that.
A
moment of silence and she finally moved. She circled the grotesque present and
sniffed at the blood pooling beneath it. Satisfied in its most definitely dead
state, she peered at the massive wolf and chuffed a small delicate sound,
almost on par with a purr. She swung her large body around the mammoth legs
that stood in her way and walked towards the exiting doors, a tiny flick of her
tail rubbing against the Captain's skin as she padded on heavy paws passed a
small gathering of grinning guards.
My
wolf finally gave way to human a few hours later, when the woods to the rear of
the encampment were swallowed by a blanket of night, a silent cover of soot
only broken every so often by scuffling night creatures. The animal population
of Carver's forest had diminished quite a bit, my wolf had been thwarted twice
now and she decided to take her murderous urges out on smaller prey.
While
she dined on rabbits, foxes and unseeing badgers not quick enough to bury
themselves in the cold dirt, I sat in my glass box buried within her mind
humming to a symphony of cracking bones and tearing flesh. I avoided watching
her rather gluttonous eating habits and instead thought on Carver's actions
tonight.
A head. Who exactly gives you a head?
I
couldn't deny the impact it had on both myself and the animal. We were
simultaneously confused, wary and oddly impressed. The gift and the man catered
to my darker side, the part that appreciated his strength, power and
protectiveness. That he ended an Alpha's life so easily for a slight many would
shrug off, caught my interest as nothing else could. It was a show of intent;
that he would never allow me to be hurt and would slaughter any that tried. It
was unimaginable how that appealed to me, the feeling of safety it lent me was
something I'd never felt before, not even with my father. He was a missile at
my back, a sharpshooter aimed at anything in my way, an assassin that wrapped
me in the soft embrace of immunity.
I
found myself trusting that overgrown Captain. Just a little, a minuscule amount
that was hardly noticeable, but trust all the same. It wasn't part of my plan
and I hadn't accounted for any of the people now in my life. It's a baffling
moment when you realise no matter how concrete you'd made that charred heart it
was never enough. Smart people don't force their way in, moment by moment they
slip through all the barriers and traps that had seemed so impenetrable and
snatch a part of you that you hadn't realised was free to give away.
The
fur tried to melt away while I was still in the forest. My wolf though
understood my opinion on naked and pushed hard to return to the house before I
could no longer hold that giant shape. I could smell Sam on the porch as I
neared, whisky and spice that smothered me in contentment, a peaceful kind of
surrender began with the emergence of human pushing through animal. He threw a
robe my way as my form twisted shapes in front of him and he turned his back as
I dressed quickly.
"Ya
kill anythin'?"
I
snorted at him, "just small animals today."
Sam’s
little grin was as infectious as usual,"proud of ya, girlie." He held
up a tumbler of whiskey and I gratefully accepted and sat next to him on white
rocking chairs.
The
night had turned bitter in its lost sun and I blew out breaths that fogged on
every exhale. The blood running through me warmed my skin in higher degrees
than before I'd shifted, that beast burning through calories at a phenomenal
rate to keep the heat constant. It would have been useful when I'd been stuck
in that nightie turning numb on the concrete floor, but it was some kind of
wonderful to know I'd never feel that listless chill again.
I
looked at Sam out of the corner of my eye, "so...how was your ride on
Charlie?"
Sam
grimaced and I hid my smile behind the crystal tumbler. "Man needs ta
learn boundaries, I have legs ya know."
I
spluttered as I tried to swallow around my smile and he sniffed in scorn."Dunno
why ya so amused, ya Captain gave ya a severed head. Think I win."
I
rolled my eyes at him,"it was quite thoughtful actually."
Sam
chuckled, "Oh yeah, no' at all unbalanced. Least we know he as crazy as
you are."
I
hummed in response, he might just be right about that."Where is he
anyway?"
"Had
ta go smooth things over wit' those damn governors, they no' too happy he
killed tha Alpha they only jus' appointed."
"Well
maybe they should stop appointing shitty Alphas."
Sam
chuckled again and clinked his glass with mine, "Yeah ain't tha
righ'." He looked at me for a while and lost his smile a little, "ya
know they probly goin' ta wanna meet you. He can' say no if he wanna keep tha
peace 'round here."
"What,
they're here?"
Sam
nodded at me, "yeah, came in this mornin', either for tha Alpha or you no'
sure which."
I
raised an eyebrow," Why me?"
"You
tha captains mate," Sam shrugged, "and they know ya killed tha first
Alpha, why wouldn' they wanna meet ya?"
I
suppose he had a point, maybe I should stop drawing such attention to myself.
"When?"
"Soon,
ya man be comin' back in an hour or so, he'll know."
I
huffed at him, "he's not my man."
Sam
laughed loudly and his eyes glinted with mirth," he gave ya a head girlie,
tha's courtin' ta tha Captain."
I
squinted my eyes at him in distaste as he stood from his creaky chair,
"Come on, picked up a barbecue grill from tha Hall, I'll make ya sum
steak, migh' get tha' sour look off ya face."
I
followed him into the house, greeting the dogs at the front door. Luce sniffed
at me and wandered off to follow Sam into the kitchen while Remy shoved his
head into my side and batted me until I rubbed that thick skull. I left my hand
on the scruff of his neck while we joined Sam and Luce in the kitchen and I
silently promised him I'd leave the lock off my bedroom door later, all while
shaking my head at myself at how deeply that dog had wormed his way in.
Carver
returned early, half way during Sam’s grilling and I saw him take a grateful,
deep inhale at the smell distributing though the house. His eyes locked with
mine and his steps never once faltered as he strode confidently to the counter
I was leaning on and dipped his head to breathe in my hair. His huge frame
completely surrounded me and I shivered at that overwhelming atmosphere. Like
being encased in a cinnamon flavoured tornado, he wrapped me in wildness and
stilled the storm at my centre. I allowed him his moment before stiffening at
his proximity, I'd given a lot in the last day and I needed to take a step back
before moving forward.
Sam
nodded at Carver and picked up an extra paper plate from his stash of supplies
next to the grill. He'd managed to steal half a dozen large steaks complete
with baby potatoes that he had frying with garlic in a pan on the corner of the
grill. Either he'd pulled rank using Carver's name or he'd seriously sweet
talked the women in the kitchens to get that haul.
Carver
backed up a few inches but remained close enough to touch. I felt his gaze
constantly on me and it warmed every spot he settled on. I was afraid to look
at him too much, it seemed his wolf was invariably just beneath the surface and
it only made his dark look even more so. Shadows under his cheekbones
highlighted the stark beauty of his face and I found myself too often caught up
in following every precise line.
His
husky voice fluttered over my skin, "You okay, cherry?"
I
peered at him making sure to look at his eyes so that I wasn't tempted to look
at the rest of him, "yes thank you, I'm fine."
He
rumbled at me and sniffed the air around me,"you smell good."
I
raised an eyebrow,"what?"
He
gave a little half grin and tilted his head, "did I tell you that you
smell like cherries to me? Matches your hair."
I
frowned at him and let the subject drop, I was more interested in the food that
Sam was cooking, an ache had started that hollowed my stomach until I felt ill.
I guess that long shift had burned more than I'd eaten today, small woodland
creatures included. Carver walked to the grill and stood behind Sam as he
turned the cooking meat. I knew what that presence behind you felt like and I
wasn't surprised when Sam turned to look at him in question.
"She's
hungry." Carver grunted at him in answer.
Sam
chuckled that deep laugh, "'Cause you standin' ova' my shoulder goin' ta
make them steaks cook quicker righ'?"
Carver
grunted again and moved back a step, he was the epitome of a caveman at the
moment, I could only assume his meeting had been frustrating enough to leave
the wolf skimming under his skin, pushing and probing for release.
Sam
asked my question for me, "how'd tha meetin' go?"
Carver
grimaced, "they want to meet you Arya, I told them they'd have to wait on
you but they’re holding Lane's appointment over me."
I
stared at Carver,"Lane? They're appointing Lane?"
Carver
looked at me completely seriously, "yes I put him forward, he'll make one
hell of an Alpha and he'll certainly sort that pack out."
I
stared at him some more,"but seriously, Lane?"
Carver
grinned, "he's one of my best guards and the responsibility will be good
for him, that wolf enjoys pain a little too much."
I
frowned at his answer, people who said they liked pain rarely knew what real
pain was.
I
took a plate from Sam as he dished up the food and we all stood at the counter
eating with plastic forks while the dogs got paper plates of their own. Sam’s
cooking had quickly become a favourite of mine and I'd already gained quite a
bit of the lost weight back, I felt healthier, stronger and I enjoyed the
feeling that I was rubbishing Daniel's rules on my size, a little bit of
rebellion even if it was just in my head.
I
looked up at Carver as I finished eating, his eyes were infrequently away from
me, as if he couldn't force them away in case I wasn't there when they
returned. "I'll go, to meet the governors. How bad can they be
right?"
Carver
growled low in his throat, "they won't come near you."
I
smiled at him, a completely sincere expression that seemed to have him lost for
words,
"I
know they won't; you'll be there."
