The Desires of a Countess (23 page)

“Of course,” Tabitha said, though she exchanged a
meaningful glance with Audrey.

But Ginny couldn’t think about that at the moment.
Right now she needed to go home. Only then could she figure out
what to do. And how to stop the love she felt for a man she could
never truly have.

***

“What do you mean you need a new
way to put Simon off?” Harriet set down the letter she was writing
to glare at her friend in exasperation. “It’s obvious the two of
you have grown…” She arched an eyebrow. “
Closer
since you arrived in London.
Why would you want to push him away now?”

Ginny bit her lip. Already her feelings were
becoming too clear if Harriet had noticed. Her friend had been
highly distracted as of late. In fact, when Ginny had had her
revelation about the love she felt for Simon, Harriet hadn’t even
been home to talk with. And now it was just a few hours before the
ball and she seemed to be off in her own world.

“For the very same reasons I needed to push him away
before,” she said with a sigh of exasperation. “There’s Jack, and
keeping control of my life.”

“And?” Harriet sighed.

Ginny pursed her lips. “There are the lies that
stand between us whether Simon knows them or not.”

Harriet got to her feet with a groan. “Honestly,
Ginny, I thought you’d gotten past this ridiculous notion when you
made love to the man the night of the ball here in London just
after our arrival.”

Ginny’s face paled. “How do you know about
that?”

“Please.” Harriet rolled her eyes. “It’s obvious by
the way both of you act that something has changed between you. In
fact, if I didn’t know you better I’d say you were in love with
him.” Her friend paused and her green eyes leapt to Ginny’s face.
“Wait, that’s it, isn’t it? You’ve realized you’re in love with
Simon Webber and that thought terrifies you.”

Ginny shook her head. If she said the words out
loud, she’d have to face them. That was something she wasn’t ready
to do. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

She ducked her head and turned away from her
friend’s keen eyes.

But Harriet followed. “I’m right. Look at the way
you’re trembling. You’re in love with him.”

There was no use lying. “Perhaps.”

Her friend engulfed her in a hug. “That’s wonderful!
All through the years I watched you with Henry, I hoped someday
you’d have a chance to experience real love. I never thought it
would be so soon, but Simon is a wonderful man. The way Adam talks
about him, he couldn’t be anything but. And once you tell him-”

Struggling from her friend’s embrace, Ginny took
Harriet’s arms and shook her gently. “I’m not telling Simon
anything. And neither are you.”

Harriet’s gaze grew confused. “Why on earth not?
Love isn’t meant to be a secret. You two could have a future
together. Why would you want to throw that chance away?”

Shutting her eyes, Ginny desperately tried to block
out the images her friend’s words created. It was almost impossible
not to picture Simon at her breakfast table each morning and in her
bed every night. So hard not to see him as father to her son and to
the other children they would create through the love they shared.
The thought was so beautiful it actually hurt her. Even more since
she knew it could never be a reality.

“I don’t
want
to throw it away,” she admitted
as she sank down into a chair. She covered her eyes with her hands.
“But I don’t have any choice. If I tell Simon I love him, I’ll be
living a lie.”

“Aren’t you living one now by keeping your feelings
to yourself?” Harriet pushed Ginny’s hands aside and gazed into her
eyes with a pleading stare. “I want so much for you to be happy.
And I think you could be with Simon.”

“Perhaps he doesn’t love me in return.”

Harriet dropped her hands. “You aren’t even giving
him a chance to make that decision.”

“He’ll want to go back to the ocean eventually,”
Ginny tried, hoping one of her arguments would sink in so that she
wouldn’t have to get to the heart of the matter.

“Perhaps he wouldn’t if he had a reason to stay.
Adam says he loves the sea, but he’s running, too.”

Ginny cocked an eyebrow. “You’re getting a lot of
information from Adam Scott.”

Harriet blushed, but refused to be deterred. “What
is the real reason for your fear?”

Shutting her eyes, Ginny steadied her trembling
hands. “Why would Simon want to create a life with a person like
me? Why would he want to be with the person who murdered his
cousin?”

Chapter Seventeen

Simon smiled at his mother as they
sat in Ginny’s parlor waiting for her to come down with Harriet. He
had no doubt she
would
come this time, he’d had word from her brother of her visit to
her mother and sister. He smiled at the thought of her
reestablishing family ties.

Adam flipped open his pocket watch as he fiddled
with his cravat. “Where are they?”

“I’ve never known you to be so anxious to go to a
party,” Simon mused as he arched an eyebrow at his friend.

“Ladies always want to make sure they look their
best before a large event, Adam,” his mother added. “But my, you do
look nervous. Is there some specific reason why?”

Adam folded his arms over his chest with a scowl.
“Of course not. I wouldn’t even have said I’d go to this fool ball
unless Harriet… Mrs. Percy hadn’t asked me herself.”

Simon spun on his heel to stare at
his friend. Was
that
why Adam had been so distracted lately? Harriet
Percy?

“Good evening.”

All thoughts fled his mind as he turned to see
Harriet and Ginny enter. Simon was floored by just how much Ginny’s
beauty moved him. Though she was dressed in a black ball gown with
little frills, she was stunning.

“
You ladies both look lovely,”
Sarah said with a quick glance from her son to Ginny.

“Mrs. Webber, may I present my friend, Mrs. Harriet
Percy,” Ginny said as she finally broke eye contact with Simon.

He was pleased to see that her cheeks were flushed
with high color. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.

He barely noticed the niceties that were being said
around him until Ginny nodded toward the door. “We should be off or
we’ll be more than fashionably late.”

Nodding, he said, “I thought we’d take two vehicles
so we won’t be uncomfortable. Mama, you could ride with Adam and
Mrs. Percy, and Lady Westdale, I thought you could ride with
me.”

Ginny’s eyes grew wide and Simon smiled. Oh, the
things he could do during the short ride across London.

“I think your mother should ride with us, Mr.
Webber,” Ginny said before she turned away to smile at Sarah.
“After all, we want to make our entrance together, don’t we?”

Simon frowned. Didn’t she want to
be alone with him? He’d seen the desire in her eyes when she’d come
into the room, but now she seemed to want to hide that away from
him under some guise of propriety. Or perhaps his mother’s
comfort
was
her
only concern.

“Very well. Adam will you escort Mrs. Percy?” he
asked, but was surprised to see that his first mate had already
linked arms with the pretty widow.

They made an odd pair. Harriet was fair and petite,
while Adam was huge and dark from work in the sun. But somehow,
despite the disparity in their sizes and colorings, their match
seemed to work. And if the sparkle in both their eyes was any
indication, neither one cared what the world thought of them
anyway.

“With pleasure.” Adam grinned at Harriet as they
swept out the door. “We’ll see you there.”

Ginny gave Simon a thin smile before she turned to
his mother and took her arm. “Mrs. Webber, shall we go?”

The two women began to walk out the door in front of
Simon. He heard his mother say she was nervous and then Ginny’s
soothing words of comfort. Though it pleased him that the women
seemed to be developing a friendship, he was still at a loss as to
why Ginny would wish to avoid him. Especially when they’d grown so
close during the past few days.

But as he watched her help his mother into the
carriage, he smiled. Before the end of the night he would have a
moment alone with her, and he’d wipe away whatever shyness kept her
from looking at him the way he was looking at her.

***

The carriage pulled to a smooth
stop in front of Lord and Lady Hornsbey’s London estate. The
beautiful house rose up before them in an attempt to dwarf anything
and everything else around it. Simon sniffed his distaste as he
left the vehicle first and offered a hand to assist the two ladies.
While he understood the
ton
had to keep up appearances, this was ridiculous.
One by one they tried to outdo each other and London was rapidly
spiraling further and further out of control. Where there had once
been beauty, now there were unsightly buildings and the cloying
stench of smoke and humanity.

He grasped his mother’s hand first and assisted her
to the ground. She smiled up at him when he gave her palm a
squeeze, then he leaned back up to help Ginny down. She stared at
his outstretched hand for a long moment before she accepted it. The
electricity between them was immediate, as it always was, and from
the way she parted her lips with a small gasp, she felt it too. But
as soon as her slippered feet hit the ground, she drew away from
him and the arm he offered to her as escort.

“You should take Sarah’s arm,” she said softly as
she turned her gaze to the ground. “She’s nervous and may need you
to lean on, especially in the first few moments after we’re
announced when the stares and murmurs will be at their worst.”

Simon frowned as she turned away and began a slow
walk up the drive toward the house alone. Why was she pulling away
from him? Hadn’t they moved passed that the night they’d made love
in her bed and shared their thoughts and secrets? When she’d
confessed to him the extent of Henry’s abuse, he thought they’d
turned a corner together.

Perhaps he was wrong.

“Ready, Mama?” he asked as Ginny whispered their
names to the footman at the door.

“As ready as I can be.” she answered. He felt her
tremble and squeezed her tighter.

“Lady Westdale, Mr. Simon Webber and Mrs. Sarah
Webber,” the man announced over the throng. Immediately the room
quieted a fraction and heads turned to gape at the threesome.
Though Ginny hardened herself to the stares, Simon could see the
anxiety on her face as much as he could feel it in the way his
mother gripped his arm tighter.

As they stepped down into the foyer and headed
toward the ballroom, Ginny nodded to a well-dressed woman in
ostrich feathers and pearls.

“Good evening Lady Ravenswood,” she said.

In response, the woman gave a cool
nod, but when her eyes fell to Sarah, she sniffed and turned away.
Simon gasped. His mother had been given the cut direct by one of
the most influential women of the
ton
. Even Ginny’s presence had moved
Sarah no closer to a return to her former status.

Ginny frowned as she turned back to Sarah. “She’s a
nasty beast anyway. Don’t worry about her in the slightest.”

Sarah nodded, but tears glistened in her eyes
nonetheless. Ginny’s face softened at the sight of them, but her
sympathy did little for Simon. Perhaps Ginny could smooth over one
such incident, but if Lady Ravenswood cut them, others would follow
suit. His mother would leave the ball humiliated with no chances
for a future in the upper ranks.

“Ginny!”

Simon looked up at the voice that had come from
across the room. Ginny’s mother waved as she hurried past a few
people with Marion Jordan, Noah’s wife close in tow. When she’d
reached them, the older woman pressed her daughter’s hand with a
wide smile.

“Oh, I’m so glad you made it. It is a crush, isn’t
it?” Without waiting for an answer, Tabitha turned to Sarah. “Mrs.
Webber, how nice it is to see you back in Society. Perhaps you
don’t remember me but-”

“Of course I do, my lady. My, when we first met
you’d just married. I was so sorry to hear of your husband’s
death.”

“Thank you so much.” Tabitha smiled as she placed a
gentle hand on Sarah’s arm. “Allow me to introduce me favorite
daughter-in-law, Marion. She’s the wife of my son, the Marquis of
Woodbury.”

Marion laughed and the kindness in
her brown eyes was as genuine as Tabitha’s. “I am your
only
daughter-in-law, so
don’t tease. I’m so pleased to meet you, Mrs. Webber. And Ginny,
I’ve heard so much about you from your brother.” The young woman
hugged Ginny briefly.

“I’m sorry we missed each other yesterday
afternoon,” Ginny answered with a smile. “And where is Audrey?”

Marion laughed. “Griffin argued with her all day
about coming tonight, but she insisted. The man is completely
besotted and is tending to her like a mother hen. But I believe
she’s somewhere around here. I saw her earlier.”

Simon watched in wonder as the Jordan women swept
his mother into their conversation and made it completely and
publicly clear that she was a friend of their family and not to be
ignored. And as he watched the room, others were noticing the same.
Women who’d whispered behind their fans when his mother had entered
were now pausing to say hello as they passed by.

His mother looked positively giddy as she chatted
with the Jordans and nodded to old friends. Simon knew some were
only being polite out of deference to the Jordan family, but others
looked truly pleased to see Sarah back in Society again.