The Deputy's New Family (14 page)

Beth nodded. “Friends of mine sail, and Corey earned the chance to go. Nick agreed that it’d be good for him to work toward a reward instead of against the threat of repeating second grade.”

“Will he?”

Beth cocked her head. “What?”

“Pass second grade.”

Beth had to remember to stay in teacher mode, but it was tough. She was the grandmother, and Beth wasn’t sure how much Nick had shared with the woman.

But under this grandmother’s scrutiny, Beth believed blunt honesty was best. “He’s borderline considering his reading level. Nick wouldn’t agree to hold him back.”

Ellen’s direct gaze pierced her. “What do you think?”

“I think Corey’s not done. He needs to work hard this summer to prepare for third grade and the testing he’ll face. What made you pull him out of school?”

Ellen’s expression clouded over. “I wasn’t very good at homeschooling, but I couldn’t leave him in that school where he’d been so lost and alone. He cried every day.”

Beth’s heart twisted, remembering what Diane had said. Poor kid. He missed his mother and wanted a new one. He wanted a whole family. He’d been so withdrawn when he first came, but with Thomas and Gracie and her mother he’d blossomed. Why hadn’t they looked for a different school? One that could better meet Corey’s needs? But then, they were grieving, too. Maybe having Corey home was a way to hold on to their daughter’s memory a little longer.

“He needed us,” Ellen added. “He still needs us.”

Beth nodded, feeling a little lost herself. “Of course. You were there for him when he needed you most.”

Ellen gave her a curt nod.

Stupid thing to say to a grandparent. Of course they’d been there. They’d always be there, too. Especially if Nick wasn’t. Ellen made that perfectly clear.

Beth glanced back at the picture. She thought about Susan breaking those plates and Corey’s reaction when Beth had roughly set her mom’s table. They did look a little bit alike in a relative sort of way. Weird. Was that why Corey had been at ease with her that first day in school?

Ellen’s smile was tight. “I loved my daughter, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that she put Nick through a lot. Put us all through a lot.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I wouldn’t have blamed Nick had he left Susan, but he didn’t. Not with Corey so young.” Ellen gave her a pointed look. “Nick came from a broken home.”

Beth hadn’t known that. There was a lot about Nick she didn’t know, but she knew what kind of man he was. A man with a mother-in-law who defended him. “He’s a good father.”

Ellen nodded. “Corey needs him now more than ever. My grandson needs stability in his life.”

Beth agreed.

Ellen wasn’t only stating the obvious here. She sent a message. One Beth didn’t have much trouble deciphering. Ellen might not welcome another woman stepping in to raise her grandson, but she wouldn’t stand for her grandson or Nick being jerked around. Or hurt.

“We’re here if anything happens to threaten that stability.”

“Of course.” Beth swallowed.

Would Susan’s parents fight for Corey if something ever happened to Nick? They were the boy’s flesh and blood. They seemed like good people, solid and respectable. But anything was possible when it came to a question of custody.

Beth followed Ellen back downstairs, where Nick waited for her on the deck with an empty glass in his hand. Exiting through the sliding glass door, she spotted Corey helping his grandfather in the garden. They stuck fat wooden markers into the soil, labeling the seeds and seedlings planted in neat rows.

Would Corey be lonely growing up here? He’d made friends at school and had a dog with puppies. Would Ellen take Peanut along with the boy?

The knot in Beth’s stomach pulled tighter.

“We better get going.” Nick called out to Corey. “We’re leaving, bud.”

The boy waved, unfazed. “See you later.”

Nick smiled.

“Corey, you should give your father a hug.” Ellen stood next to Nick.

“It’s okay.”

Beth bit her lip. She agreed with Ellen but didn’t say a word. It wasn’t her place.

Corey trotted up onto the deck and Nick gave his son a bear hug, squeezing tight until Corey squirmed and squealed with laughter. “Bye, Dad.”

“See you in a couple days.”

Corey nodded and then launched himself at her. “Bye, Miss Ryken.”

Beth hesitated before returning the little boy’s embrace. She hugged him tight and fought the urge to kiss his forehead. “Bye, Corey. Have fun, okay?”

“Yup.” He broke away and ran to join his grandfather back in the garden.

She glanced at Ellen. The woman’s gaze was cool, but Beth reached out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Ellen took it for a brief shake, her smile polite. “You, too.”

She felt Nick’s hand at the small of her back.

“Let’s go. Thanks, Ellen. I’ll call you when I leave to pick up Corey.”

“Perfect, we’ll meet you halfway.”

“Sounds good.”

Beth didn’t think Ellen was a meet-halfway kind of woman. She got her way or worked hard until she did. Maybe Susan had rebelled against that. Had she married Nick to spite her staid parents?

Beth couldn’t wait to get out of there.

* * *

Nick glanced at Beth in the passenger seat. She sat quietly straight with her hands in her lap. A quiet Beth was a troubled one.

“Okay, spill it.”

She looked at him with wide eyes. “Spill what?”

“What’s on your mind. You haven’t said a word since we left.”

“Do I remind you of your first wife?”

Where had that question come from?

“No, not really. There’s a slight similarity with your blond hair and blue eyes, but that’s where it ends. You’re nothing like Susan. For one, you’re quiet when you’re upset.”

She nodded. That was true. Beth liked even-keeled.

“I saw a picture of her, and Ellen thinks I resemble her.”

Nick blew out his breath. Nice. What woman wanted to be told something like that? “Ellen’s a little hard around the edges but soft once you get to know her.”

Beth didn’t look as if she believed him. “Do they still work?”

“They’re both lawyers. Greg practices part-time, and Ellen retired after Susan died.”

“I see.” Beth closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

“Give them time. Right now they’re afraid of you.”

“Afraid of
me?
” She bolted upright and stared at him. “Why?”

Nick chuckled. “Because they don’t know you yet.”

He couldn’t point out the obvious. His in-laws knew Corey was nuts about her. And now they knew he was, too. Beth wasn’t a threat to their place in Corey’s life but a welcome addition. Susan’s parents would see that, too. Eventually.

“Where do you want to go for dinner?”

“Doesn’t matter. You choose.”

Great. This wasn’t turning into the date he’d hoped for. Not with Beth practically hugging the passenger-side door as if she wanted to jump out. Obviously, a romantic dinner wasn’t going to happen.

“We’ll be okay, Beth. We’re going to make this work.”

She gave him a teasing smile, but it didn’t cover the worry in her eyes. “I don’t know. You come with a lot of baggage.”

He chuckled again. “We both do, honey. We both do.”

* * *

“Beth,” a deep voice intruded.

She opened her eyes and stared into gray eyes that were awfully close to her own. “Yeah?”

“We’re home.”

She sat up and yawned. She’d fallen asleep after dinner, a very quiet dinner, while Nick drove home. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re pretty when you sleep.”

Beth laughed. “Yeah, right. Did I snore?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Silence settled heavy in the car.

Would Nick kiss her good-night? Should she let him?

After meeting Corey’s grandparents, there were other things to consider before moving forward. Her mom had said to follow her heart, but how could she when it was silent? Too many other variables to consider with a relationship with Nick. Namely what might happen to Corey if Nick died. If she was only a stepmom, would that mean anything in a court of law?

“Thanks for going with me tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad I went.” Her eyes had been opened wider.

Nick leaned toward her. “I guess we should say good-night, then.”

Beth didn’t want to get out of the car. She didn’t want Nick to leave, either. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Will you call me when you’re done with your shift tomorrow?”

Nick smiled. “At seven on a Sunday morning?”

Beth nodded.

“You got it.” He softly ran his finger down her cheek. “Maybe we can do dinner next week. Someplace nice.”

“Not good. That’s the last full week of school and a final push for Corey.” She didn’t ask for a rain check.

He narrowed his gaze. “You’re not still considering holding him back?”

“No. Honestly, that wouldn’t be good for him now. Not when there’s been so much improvement. But he’s still not near a third-grade reading level.”

Nick looked at her with hope in his eyes. “You could work with him over the summer.”

Beth hesitated. “We’ll see.”

Nick sighed. “We’ll talk more next week, then. While we’re sailing.”

“Yes.”

“Beth...” Nick stopped and then leaned back in his seat. “Good night.”

She tamped down her disappointment. He wasn’t going to kiss her. A good thing, too, considering Beth’s state of mind. The only whispers she heard from her heart told her to get out now before she got in too deep and drowned.

“Good night, Nick.”

Chapter Thirteen

B
eth held Corey’s hand as they walked down the dock toward Gerry’s boat. Nick held his son’s other hand. She loved the strength that had developed between father and son. They were fine. They’d be fine, too. She’d done her job helping Corey read. And that was a good thing, even if it hurt to think about them without her.

Today she’d pretend they were any ordinary couple. She wouldn’t ruin the day thinking about the what-ifs and what-she-should-dos. She’d simply enjoy her last outing with the Grey men and call it good.

“Wow. Is that it?” Corey pulled against Nick’s other hand.

But Nick didn’t let go. “Stay with me, bud.”

Gerry’s beautiful white sailboat rocked gently against a wave left behind by a motorboat. Beth nodded. “That’s it.”

Nick gave her a sharp look. “The
Showoff?
Does this guy have something to prove?”

Beth shook her head. “No, no. He’s fine, really. Julie has always called Gerry a show-off, so when they got the boat, it was a natural choice for a name.”

Nick looked skeptical.

Beth scanned the marina that was already bustling with activity. Boaters headed for town and breakfast and others prepped their sailboats and motorboats for a day on Lake Michigan. And what a day it promised to be. Not a cloud in the sky and temperatures climbing but with a steady breeze.

Perfect for sailing. Perfect for hitting the beach on South Manitou Island. And perfect for falling in love.... Wait, she’d already done that against her better judgment.

She glanced at Nick. Of all the guys she’d ever wanted, why’d she have to fall for this one? Nick had the potential to break her heart forever. And if anything happened to Nick, she might lose Corey, too.

That was a double whammy she didn’t want to risk taking. Better to get out now. But after today. She wanted to enjoy today. She wasn’t supposed to think about those nasty what-ifs.

“Morning!” Julie popped up out of the sailboat’s cabin. “Have you guys had breakfast? We’ve got leftover fruit salad and sweet rolls.”

“Thanks, but we ate at my mom’s.” Beth let go of Corey’s hand and stepped down into the boat. She faced Nick when he didn’t follow, shielding her eyes from the sun.

Standing on the dock holding on to a seven-year-old who strained to climb aboard, Nick hesitated.

“You coming aboard?”

“I’m not much of a boating guy, but I thought... I don’t know what I thought.”

Julie grinned. “You expected a big motorboat, didn’t you?”

Nick nodded and finally let go of Corey, who jumped in with a whoop of delight.

“Can I go up there?” Corey pointed toward the front.

“No!” Nick’s voice was sharp. Then he glanced at Julie and explained, “I don’t want him falling over.”

Julie opened one of the bench-seat compartments and pulled out a child-sized life vest. “One rule on our boat is that kids have to wear a life vest on deck. We’ve got enough for the adults, too. You boys okay with that?”

Corey nodded.

Nick looked as if he relaxed, a little. He helped his son into the life vest. Not one of those cheesy orange puffy ones but a Coast Guard–approved personal flotation device. Gerry had bragged about them last year after he’d upgraded his gear.

“A cool one,” as Corey put it, making her heart pinch.

Beth ruffled the boy’s hair.

“Coffee, anyone?” Julie offered. “We’re waiting on Gerry’s brother and his wife, and then we’ll head out. They have a little girl around Corey’s age. I imagine the kids will want to play in the berth.”

“Berth?” Nick cocked his head.

“It’s way up front in the cabin with a flat bed. The kids can play games and look out the windows. It’s a good place for them while we’re moving out. They can’t fall out anywhere down there.”

Nick nodded. “Then sure, I’ll take a cup of coffee.”

Beth declined. Once Julie slipped back into the cabin, she turned to Nick. “You sure you’re okay with this?”

Nick gave her a tight smile. “Corey has been talking about nothing else all week. I can’t chicken out now. You’ve done this before, right?”

Beth nodded. “Several times. Gerry’s a good sailor. He grew up in Leland and has sailed Lake Michigan his whole life. He knows what he’s doing.”

Nick’s gaze traveled the nearly thirty-foot sailboat while he ran his hand along the railing surrounding the back of the boat.

He finally blew out a breath. “Okay, then. Good. I’m good.”

Beth chuckled and slipped into the cabin. She set the duffel bag she’d brought on a cushioned bench seat in the cabin’s galley. She’d packed sweatshirts and windbreakers for the three of them, as well as beach towels and sunscreen. Nick had left his gun at home. Dressed for the beach, he couldn’t exactly
conceal
it very well. Both Nick and Corey wore their swim shorts with T-shirts. Beth had her bathing suit on under her shorts and T-shirt.

Julie had informed her yesterday that the shoreline water temps were above normal for this time of year, so they might actually get in the water instead of wading around the beach.

Beth rolled her shoulders. She really needed this. A relaxing day spent in the sun with sand and surf.

It wasn’t long before the other couple arrived. Their daughter, Millie, was a year older than Corey and in third grade.

“Millie, tell Corey about the tall-ship field trip.” Beth wanted to stir Corey’s interest and give him something to look forward to at school next year. Something more than how well he could read.

The little girl’s eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh, it was so fun. We didn’t go nearly as fast as Uncle Gerry, but we all got a turn to steer. It’s a super-big boat with, like, these tall sails that make a lot of noise.”

Corey listened with rapt attention.

True to Julie’s words, the kids gladly followed her into the cabin toward the front. They seemed happy to stay put and play games until Uncle Gerry got the boat out into open water.

“Open water, huh? Like how open?” Nick sat beside her on the molded cushioned benches that made a horseshoe around the cabin entrance, surrounding the wheel.

Beth patted Nick’s knee. “Don’t worry. We’re only fifteen miles or so from South Manitou Island and it’s a straight shot. This is going to be fun.”

He draped his arm around the ledge behind her. His fingers teased her neck along the collar of her T-shirt, sending shivers through her. “If you say so.”

“I do.” Beth forced a smile and then got up for a bottle of water.

She’d never have expected Nick to be nervous about sailing. He seemed so ready to face whatever came his way, but this was different. Maybe because he had to trust someone else’s expertise for their safety. And maybe now he’d know a little about how she felt.

* * *

They made it. Nick climbed out of the inflatable dinghy with a small motor onto warm sand. They’d anchored in the crescent-shaped harbor of South Manitou Island, and a prettier place he’d never been. He felt like a pirate coming ashore to paradise, where a pristine sandy beach awaited them. He’d never seen water so blue.

He offered Beth his hand. “Watch your step.”

She took it but gave him a “yeah, right” expression as she hopped out and skipped up the beach to lay out a blanket. Beth looked right at home, too, already kissed by the sun. Tall and blonde and tanned, she lured Nick’s gaze often.

But she seemed distant today. Almost too cheerful, as if trying to keep something that bothered her at bay.

“C’mere, Corey. More sunscreen.” Beth sprayed down his boy, whose red hair flamed and freckles multiplied in the sunshine.

Nick’s did, too, so he’d keep his shirt on for a while yet. No need showing off his scars, either.

“So what’d you think?” Gerry slapped him on the back after setting down the cooler while his wife stuck a huge beach umbrella in the sand and opened it.

“Great trip. Thanks for inviting us.”

Nick had to admit after they’d pulled out of the harbor and set sail across the Manitou Passage, he’d started to enjoy it. The light wind and soft waves and warm sunshine coaxed his muscles to relax.

Nick had even allowed Corey to follow Gerry around the railings that encompassed the deck to the front of the boat. The bow, as it was called. Corey had loved watching their vessel cut through the wide-open water.

His boy had been beside himself with excitement when they spotted a long freighter to the north. If Corey’s interest in boating stuck, Nick might have to find a little boat for them to use on the lake across the street. He had a smidgen of Lake Leelanau lake rights.

Gerry gave him a wink. “Good, now what about Beth?”

“She’s amazing.” Nick had no trouble admitting that, too.

Beth turned and smiled, but it was a sad sort of smile.

He smiled back.

Gerry laughed and slapped his back again. “We’ll watch your boy if you two want to take a walk.”

Nick glanced at his son. Corey and Millie had plunked down near the shoreline with sand buckets and shovels in hand.

Gerry pointed toward the lighthouse tower peeping up over the tree line. “That way is a shipwreck you can see from shore. It’s a pretty good hike along the shoreline, but Beth knows the trail through the woods.”

“Corey’s going to want to see that.”

“We’ll meet you over there in a bit. Go on. It’s quite a sight.”

“Thanks.”

Gerry nodded. “No problem.”

Nick walked over to Beth sitting on the beach blanket. Sunlight shimmered in her hair. He sighed and offered his hand. “Let’s take a walk.”

Beth’s eyes widened. “What about Corey?”

“They’ll watch him and then meet us by the shipwreck. Gerry said you knew the way.”

Beth took his hand and stood. “I do.”

Nick needed to talk with Beth alone. “Corey, we’re going for a walk. Mind Julie and Gerry, okay, bud?”

“Okay.” His son continued piling sand.

He glanced at Beth. “He’s good.” Nick wasn’t so sure about himself, though. Walking along the gorgeous stretch of shoreline in silence, he ran the question through his mind. Over and over, he came up with the same plan, and the same reasoning. But he couldn’t nail down the answer.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Beth gave his hand a squeeze.

“Yeah.” He glanced at her and his stomach dropped. He hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. He stopped walking and reached for Beth’s other hand. “I can say the same about you, too. What’s going on, Beth?”

Her eyes widened but she didn’t pull away. She didn’t say anything either, but shrugged.

“Talk to me.”

Her blue eyes clouded over. Guarded. “About Corey?”

“And us.”

“I don’t think we should do this now.” She tried to pull her hands away, but he held firm.

“Why?”

She looked around. “It’s too beautiful a day—”

That came like a kick in the gut. He’d hoped for so much more. “Would you consider watching Corey through the summer?”

Her eyebrows went up. “As his tutor?”

“No. Although, I sure could use your help with his reading.”

Beth tipped her head. “You mean like in the mornings until my mother gets home?”

He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. “I mean to complete our family. For real. For good.”

“Nick...” she warned.

He knew what he wanted. It hadn’t taken long to know Beth was the woman he wanted to share his life with. Tired of dancing around the obvious, he dove straight in. “Marry me.”

Her eyes went wide and softened and then watered.

“I can’t.” Her voice was whisper-low and full of regret.

“Why?”

She pushed out of his arms. “You know why.”

“Because you won’t date a cop? Come on, Beth. Don’t you think we’re past that?”

“It’s bad enough worrying about you now. But if we— No. I can’t go through that for the rest of my life. I won’t.”

“We’re already a stable family for Corey. Doesn’t that count for anything?” He threw his arms wide. “Look at this sailing trip. You recognize Corey’s interests and feed them. You inspire him to succeed.”

“So, you—”

He cut her off. “So, he needs both of us. He needs you as much as he needs me.”

She closed her eyes and a single tear tripped over her lashes to run down her cheek.

He didn’t want to make her cry and felt like a heel for doing so. Gently, he wiped the tear away as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

“He wants you for a mom,” he said softly.

“That’s not fair.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Love’s not fair, but isn’t it worth exploring?”

Her eyes flew open.

“I love you, Beth.”

“Stop! Just stop.” She backed away as if scared to listen. “I’m not marrying you, Nick. There’s too much for me to lose.”

Nick understood her fears, but he didn’t want their lives ruled by it. Or their relationship stunted as friendship or ended because of it. How could he make her see that they had the right stuff to make it?

“But isn’t there far more to gain, even if our life together is shortened?”

* * *

Beth searched his solemn gray eyes. So dear, this man, but he didn’t get it. Her mother said she never once regretted marrying Beth’s father, but had her mom really moved on? She still grieved. Still tried to fill the void left from her father’s death.

She sighed. “Can we discuss this later?”

“If you’ll reconsider.”

“No. I’m pretty solid on this.” Beth didn’t flinch or look away, emboldened now that she’d finally made a choice. Was it the right choice?

Nick nodded, defeated. “Then let’s see this shipwreck. The rest of the group expects to meet us there.”

“Okay.” Beth felt sick for doing this to him.

She walked alongside Nick as they rounded the corner toward the lighthouse. They shuffled through the water’s edge and up on shore. Not all the sand was as smooth as in the protected harbor. They both wore their beach sandals, so it didn’t matter.

Without a word, they crunched through zebra mussel shells bleached white by the sun. The beauty was lost to her. She’d made the right decision. Her mind ran through all the reasons why they’d struggle. She mentally listed the risks. Deep down she knew they all made sense. Logical reasons to refuse him, but it still hurt.