Authors: Marina Martindale
"Yes, I know he is. I've known for sometime that Jonathan had a daughter from a prior marriage whom he'd lost contact with, but I didn't know you were she until very recently. It's been really hard on him, Carrie. He said he was going to tell you who he was that day at your office, but then, when you started telling him about your father, he changed his mind. He said you thought that he'd abandoned you, and you were still very bitter about it. He didn't think you'd accept him."
"I'm so sorry, George. I had no idea who he was. I thought my father's name was Kevin Earl Daniels, not Jonathan Fields."
"He legally changed his name from Kevin Daniels to Jonathan Fields. I don't know how much you know about him, but he got into some trouble when he was younger."
"Yes, I know," she replied. "My mother had some of the old records, but they're incomplete. I know he got into trouble over cocaine. I also know that sometime later on he was stabbed in a parking lot."
"That's correct. It happened because he'd gotten clean and he wasn't going back. So later on, when his former dealer got busted, he assumed your father had become an informant. That's why the dealer's brother stabbed him. After he recovered, and after his probation was up, his attorney helped him legally change his name and expunge his record. He'll have to tell you the rest of the story himself."
"I hate to interrupt," said Steve as he disconnected his phone, "but we've got a problem. That was Reggie on the phone. Alex is missing."
"What!"
"He's missing. Reggie went back up to the room where she left him, but he wasn't there. She's looked everywhere for him, but he's nowhere to be found."
"Oh my God," Carrie grabbed her phone and punched up Alex's number. "It's still going straight to voice mail." She left a message, assuring Alex that the news reports were wrong and she was okay. After she disconnected, she looked at George and Steve. The tears started rolling down her face. Steve filled George in on what had happened.
"It's okay," said George. "I'll find him. I know he's distraught, but I don't think he'd do anything to harm himself. Was there anyplace in particular where he might have gone? Perhaps someplace that had a special meaning for the two of you?"
"The Double-Diamond Resort. It's just outside Tucson."
"I know where it is, but it'll take me sometime to get there, especially when I'm fighting rush-hour traffic. Just let me call Betty and I'll head out."
Steve looked at Allison. She nodded her head.
"I'd like to go with you, if you don't mind," said Steve. "Alex and I are good friends. He trusts me."
After a hasty goodbye, Steve and George stepped out, nearly colliding in the doorway with a nurse who was coming in to check on Carrie.
"You're blood pressure's getting too high," she said as her removed the stethoscope from her ears. "You're to need to calm down."
"She's right," said Allie. "I'll be right here with you, I promise, but right now you need to relax."
The nurse stepped out. Carrie laid down, closed her eyes and tried to relax. A short time later, an elderly woman cautiously entered the room. She was tall, slender and well dressed, and she was carrying a tattered shoebox. Allison approached her.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes. My name is Penelope Daniels. I'm Kevin's--I mean Jonathan's mother."
"You mean, you're Carrie's grandmother?"
"Yes, I'm her grandmother."
She walked up to Carrie's bedside. As she gazed down at her, she was overwhelmed with emotion. Allison quickly got her a tissue and helped her into a chair.
"The last time I saw her she was only five years old. She's grown into a beautiful woman."
Carrie opened her eyes and began focusing on the older woman. A look of recognition slowly crossed her face as she sat up.
"Grandma Nell? Is that really you?"
"Yes, Carrie. It's me."
Allison excused herself and stepped out as the two women embraced.
"I don't understand any of this," said Carrie. "One day Daddy was just gone and Mama wouldn't talk about it. As the years went by, she let me think that he'd walked out on us. Mama passed away last summer. When we went through her papers, we found out Daddy had a drug problem and that he'd been arrested, and that later on he was attacked in a parking lot. We thought he was dead. It's been over twenty-five years, Grandma Nell, so where were you?"
Penelope let out a sigh. "It's a long, complicated story, Carrie, and I guess the best place for me to start would be at the beginning, wouldn't it?"
"I would think so."
Penelope sat back down, reaching for another tissue and putting the shoebox in her lap before she took Carrie's hand.
"All right, from the beginning. You knew your parents met in college, didn't you?"
"Yes, that much I know."
"I see. Back then they were young and in love, and while Linda was a likeable girl, I knew from the start that she and Kevin really weren't suited for one another. Looking back, I should have stayed out of it and let it run it's course, but I didn't. I started meddling. I wanted Kevin to move on, but the more I interfered, the more I pushed him toward Linda. Finally, one day I overplayed my hand, so Kevin proposed to Linda, just to prove to me that he was right and I was wrong. His strategy worked. From that day forward, I stayed out of it. I put on a brave face at the wedding, but I knew they were making a terrible mistake."
"It wasn't a very happy marriage, at least, what I'm able to recall. They were always fighting."
"You were born fifteen months later," explained Penelope. "It had to have been one of the happiest days of Kevin's life. From the moment you arrived, your father worshipped you, but those were difficult years. He was trying to support a family and work his way through college at the same time. He was under a lot of stress. He was putting in too many long hours and getting too little sleep. It was too much for him. Cocaine was like an epidemic back then, and peer pressure was a factor too. One day, he finally succumbed. He hid it for a long time, but it eventually caught up with him. Linda and I tried, unsuccessfully, to get him into a treatment program, but he refused. Typical addict, he didn't think he had a problem, so he tried to pin the blame on us. Then one day, the cops showed up. Kevin spent a few days in jail, and he decided to check himself into a rehab clinic once he posted bail. Unfortunately, by that time Linda had had enough. She refused to let him come home after he completed the inpatient program, so he moved back in with me while she filed for divorce."
"That I did know about," said Carrie. "And I know he was sentenced to probation."
"That's right. He'd never been in trouble before, and because he was in a treatment program, the judge deferred his jail sentence. He was doing really well. He was getting his life back, but Linda had the upper hand and she wouldn't allow him to see you. You have to understand that while he was on probation he had to be very, very careful. One phone call from her and he would have ended up in jail. He wasn't giving up though. He was going to wait for his probation to end and for the judge to dismiss his jail sentence, and then he was going to fight for visitation. Unfortunately, he was stabbed before his probation was up and as soon as Linda heard about it, she took you and fled the state. Later on, we found out the two of you were in Arizona, but Linda still wouldn't allow any of the family to have any contact with you. Not even me, or Aunt Shelly. It was agonizing."
"I'm so sorry, Grandma Nell. I had no idea. I was so young that I really can't recall much about it. I just remember coming home from school one day and Mama was loading the car. She said we were leaving and never coming back. She said my other grandparents had moved to Arizona and we were going to go live with them. All I know is once we left Montana, Mama wouldn't talk about Daddy."
"I suppose that in her own way, your mother thought she was protecting you," said Penelope. "After all, a lot of addicts end up going back on drugs. I can also understand her wanting to go back to her parents, but her actions hurt us deeply. A part of our family was missing and it left a really big hole."
"I'm so sorry, Grandma Nell. I didn't know. All I can tell you is I've spent most of my life believing that my father had abandoned me and that he didn't care. I know you're not supposed to speak badly of the dead, but at the moment I'm not very happy with my mother. I had a right to know the truth."
"I was angry with her too, for a long time, but as the years passed, Kevin and I both realized that we had to let it go. Kevin had to. It was part of his recovery. He was no longer himself once he got involved with drugs. His actions hurt her and they hurt you, and she'd made it very clear that she'd never allow him to have another opportunity to hurt you again. He had to move on, so he built a whole new life for himself. He found Julia and they had Danny, but even with a new family, you were still the missing piece of the puzzle. There was never a day that went by when your father didn't miss you terribly, especially on your birthday and over the holidays." She reached over and squeezed Carrie's hand. "But that's all in the past. What matters now is that we're a whole family again."
The nurse came back in to check on Carrie. Penelope waited patiently as she worked.
"Your blood pressure is much better, but you still need to relax and stay calm. Have they found your significant other yet?"
"Not yet. We think we know where he went, so my other friends have gone to look for him. I'll be okay, once they find him."
"All right, but until then, we're keeping a close watch on you."
The nurse stepped out and Carrie turned her attention back to her grandmother.
"I take it your significant other is a young attorney named Alex."
"That's right, Grandma. How did you know?"
"I know things," she said, with a smile. "Your father's kept his eye on you ever since George brought him in on your case. So, what's happened to Alex?"
"We've been trying to reach him all afternoon, but so far we've not had any luck. Then the media reported that I'd died. We know Alex heard it, and now he's disappeared. George, and our friend Steve, went to look for him."
"Then we'll all say a prayer that he'll be found soon, safe and sound. In the meantime, while we're waiting, I've brought you something."
Penelope handed her the shoebox. Carrie carefully took the lid off and discovered it was filled with envelopes.
"This belongs to your father," explained Penelope. "It contains all of the letters he wrote to you after his arrest."
Carrie began looking through the envelopes. All were addressed to her, at a Montana address, and none had ever been opened. All were marked, "return to sender" in her mother's handwriting. She began to weep.
"It's okay, it's okay." Penelope tried to comfort her. "Now you finally know the truth. Your father never, ever abandoned you. You were taken away from him."
Penelope handed her a tissue and held her until she began to calm down.
"There's something else in there too. It's in the big manila envelope."
As soon as Carrie finished wiping her eyes, she took it out of the box and looked inside. It was stuffed with folded pieces of paper. She carefully took them out and began unfolding them. They were her old newspaper and magazine ads from Mercer's Markets.
"Good heavens. It looks like he has every print ad I ever did."
"You know, it was sort of a mixed blessing," said Penelope. "On one hand, your father never approved of you being a child model. But then again, he often used to say that if it wasn't for Mercer's Markets, he wouldn't have been able to see you at all."
Penelope sat quietly in her chair as Carrie looked through the ads. She finally let out a sigh and began to put them back in the envelope. She then placed the envelope back in the box.
"Thank you, Grandma, for showing this to me. It means a lot." She handed the box back to Penelope.
"Like you said, you have a right to know the truth. You've spent far too many years believing in a misconception." Penelope rose from her chair and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "So for now, I think I'd better take my leave. You need to get some rest and I need to check on your father. We're right next door, if you need us."
"Grandma Nell, before you go, I have one other question."
"What is it?"
"What else do you know about me?"
"I know all of it," she explained. "I know you were homeless and destitute, and that you were taken advantage of by a so-called friend. I don't know if you remember, but I dabbled in art when I was younger and I've even taken a few life-drawing classes myself. There's nothing wrong with being an art model, but I've seen the photos. I personally think that she went way beyond the boundaries and exploited you."
"You don't think I'm a slut because of it?"
"Good heavens, no. Like I said, I know all about it. We've all been following your case and we understand what happened. I guess we'll always feel some guilt, because we weren't there to help you when you so desperately needed it. I just wish there was some way you could go after the witch, even though I know you can't. But they say, what comes around goes around, so we'll have to see what happens. In the meantime, Carrie, we all still love you, very much. No one is judging you for doing what you had to do in a horrible situation."