The Debutante Is Mine (13 page)

Jack could say the same for the people in this room. After all, wasn’t this party just an elaborate venue to negotiate marriages? The debutantes and their chaperones were the sellers, and the unmarried gentlemen the buyers. Lilah was here for the same purpose. She was the commodity on display, eager for Lord Ellery’s attentions, while Lady Cosgrove and Lady Granworth were here to oversee the transaction.

Jack was the only one present who was neither buying nor selling. Although, perhaps he too wanted to ensure that Lilah received the best offer and did not give up too much in return.

Yet that did not explain his primitive urge to storm through the line of dancers and haul her off with him. He would take her by the hand, of course. But he wasn’t above throwing her over his shoulder either. Besides, anyone could tell by the paleness of her complexion that she wasn’t enjoying herself.

“I see you’ve donned the same expression as your friend this evening,” Juliet Granworth said, sidling up to Jack, her hands clasped before her as she watched the procession of dancers. “Max took his glower into the card room. You, on the other hand, appear contented to cast yours upon the dancers. Do you dislike the amusement so greatly?”

“I neither like nor dislike it.” But if Markham didn’t stop ogling Lilah’s décolletage, Jack would have to rip out his eyes, one at a time, and cram them down his throat.

“That makes me wonder, then, why you are here at all.” Juliet remained as she was, perfectly poised and appearing as if standing beside him was a matter of happenstance. “There are whispers abounding that you came to reconcile with your father.”

“Until I arrived, I had believed Dovermere was engaged elsewhere. Otherwise, I would not have come.” Jack tasted a lie upon his tongue. He suddenly wondered whether Dovermere’s presence would have influenced his decision in the end. Knowing that Lilah was going to be here had been all the persuasion he’d needed. “Or rather, I would have had second thoughts about attending.”

“That is quite the alteration from what I’ve learned from Mrs. Harwick. She said that you unequivocally refuse to be in his company.”

It was true. When he’d first arrived, Jack had been tempted to walk away without a word and never look back. The entire tableau had been altogether too cozy for his tastes—Dovermere standing in a public forum with his eldest daughter and his bastard son, as if everything was bright and gay. As if the entirety of Jack’s struggles to survive as a boy had never happened. As if Dovermere had never abandoned Jack’s mother in favor of society and aristocratic expectation.

“I am not one to turn on my heel like a coward,” he said, the words gritty in his throat.

For a moment, Juliet was silent. Her lack of response left him with the hope that he’d satisfied her questions. Unfortunately, such was not the case, because she continued.

“Yet until now, you never have attended a ball, regardless of the company.”

“Not true,” he said, evading her question and her insinuation that there was another reason he was here. “In school, we were obligated to attend two similar events per annum.” Likely, it had been the schoolmaster’s only way to validate the torture of dancing lessons.

“You are missing my point,” she said, exhaling a sound of frustration.

No, he understood her perfectly. Turning his head, he offered a smile of reassurance. “You have also heard that I spoke with Miss Appleton, and while in Dovermere’s presence, no less. I have heard the gossips nattering away all evening, the speculation, the intrigue . . . but know this—I would do nothing to hinder her efforts. I know what is at stake for her all too well.”

Juliet scrutinized him, her blue eyes sharp. “You have offered no direct answer to any of my queries.”

“Haven’t I?” He chose not to laugh when her gaze narrowed.

“I can see why you and Max are friends, and that is no compliment to you, sir,” she said, though lessened her censure by adding a wry grin and a shake of her head. “I know the
ton
still calls me the
Goddess—
and some even,
Hollow Goddess—
believing that I am nothing more than pretty wrapping over an empty package, but I’m rather fierce when I need to be, and I protect those for whom I care the most.”

Jack was actually relieved by this. Knowing that Lilah would be looked after, even when he couldn’t, smoothed the frayed edges of this newfound disquiet. “A trait we have in common.”

“Then we have an understanding?”

“We do.” He inclined his head.

With no more apparent concerns, Juliet slipped away into the crowd, just as the set finished. Markham delivered Lilah to her, bowed, and then left. From the corner of the room, Lilah’s gaze skimmed the crowd, searching, until it settled on him. There was a certain frailty in her expression, making him want to go to her. Before he could, however, her cousin drew her away, and they walked together toward a hallway leading off the main ballroom.

“I should have wagered on you, Marlowe,” Thayne said with undisguised bitterness as he stood in the same place that Juliet had vacated a moment ago. “The gossips are all atwitter on your sudden forays into society. Hell, I even saw one young buck finger-comb his hair straight back and then tell his friend that he was
in the style of Marlowe
.”

Jack laughed. “What do you expect me to do about it? These idiots are your people. I cannot control their level of foolishness.”

“Damn it all, you could have warned me.” Thayne lifted his glass to his lips, only to find it empty. He muttered a curse and dropped his hand to his side. “You know what is at stake.”

“A house.” Jack shrugged. “You have others. Surely it would matter little if you kept this one in particular.”

“You know better than anyone that it’s about more than a house,” he said with quiet vehemence.

Yes, Jack knew, and he’d promised Thayne more than five years ago that he would keep those reasons a secret. “I’m not here to undermine your efforts with Wolford.”

“Then why would you be here, if not for the wager?”

Jack couldn’t answer that—or rather,
wouldn’t
answer that. “Perhaps I thought it was time I saw what all this fuss and frippery was about.”

“I hope that is true, old friend, because—” Thayne broke off. Then, before he turned toward the terrace doors, said, “I need a breath of air.”

In that moment, Jack knew that Lady Granworth had returned. Automatically, his gaze sought Lilah. Yet when she was not beside her cousin or her aunt, a measure of alarm shot through him. He waited, milling about the crowd, lingering on the outer seam. He spotted Piper and Dovermere, but Lilah was not there either. Then, when the musicians were beginning to return to the gallery above, Jack went to find her.

The hallway where she’d first disappeared was virtually empty, with most of the guests waiting in the ballroom. A pair of debutantes exited a room, giggling and blushing when they saw him. Many of the other doors in the hall were open, the rooms dark. Yet the door from where they’d appeared was closed, the glow of candlelight coming out from beneath it.

Supposing that this was the retiring room for the ladies, he waited in the shadows in case anyone else appeared. No one came, and he could hear the musicians tuning their instruments. Taking a chance, he rapped his knuckles quietly against the door. “Lilah?”

A familiar gasp was his answer, and he felt a measure of relief. At least he knew where she was, but he didn’t know the reason she was still here—and without her aunt. Because of that, his sense of alarm would not dissipate.

In the next moment, the door opened a crack but not enough for him to see her clearly. “You cannot call to me through the door
and
use my Christian name,” Lilah hissed. “You are not even allowed in this corridor. It is designated for women.”

“You disappeared from the ballroom during the last set. I wanted to be certain you were not taken ill,” he explained, the excuse sounding perfectly reasonable to his own ears.

“Even if I were at death’s door, you would not be permitted in this—”

He opened the door. Taking the room in at a glance to ensure that she was the only occupant, he drew closer. Lifting his hand to her face, he angled it toward the light from the sconces. Her face was cold, a stark-white oval broken only by her dark eyes and brows. She looked haunted instead of like a young woman who was having a night she’d always hoped she would. “You are pale. Tell me—did that cad Markham say anything to upset you? If he did anything to you . . . ”

His words trailed off when she laughed at him. “Such a fearsome warrior, even when you’re not on your Destrier. Somehow, I knew this about you from our first meeting. How terrible it must be for someone of your nature to be in between battles. No wars to fight. No enemies to slay.”

Her words kindled a warmth inside of him that helped to soothe his anxiety. She must feel well enough to tease him. And surprisingly, she understood his nature. Then again, perhaps it wasn’t too much of a surprise, considering he felt as if he knew her too. Well enough to know that she was warrior as well, brave and loyal to a fault. That didn’t mean, however, that she didn’t need someone to watch over her. And he—
a warrior in between battles
—needed an occupation.

“You forgot to mention women to capture and then carry off as the spoils of war.” He shifted closer in the narrow doorway. His gaze dipped to her mouth just as color began to bloom. His lapels brushed the edge of her bodice, reminding him of the ruffles of her night rail and how it had felt to have her body against his. It took all of his control not to put his hands on her and continue where they’d left off. “Now tell me, why are you hiding in here?”

“I am not—” She stopped when he arched his brows in disbelief. “Very well. I am hiding, but only because I promised Lord Ellery the quadrille.”

“And you don’t want to dance with him?” A light sensation of pleasure filled him. Perhaps she hadn’t truly set her cap for Ellery after all.

Lilah shook her head. “It is that I
want
to dance with him, very much indeed.”

That light sensation swiftly turned into a scuttle of coal, dark and weighted. Jack shifted back a step. “Then what is preventing you?”

“There is so much at stake,” she said, her voice trembling. “There were rumors tonight regarding Haggerty and me. Knowing that I am so close to failing fills me with a sense of desperation that churns in my stomach. I am all too aware that I need to make a favorable impression on Ellery. I need to say something that will entice him to call upon me or perhaps offer to take me for a drive through the park. Yet I can think of nothing to say. My mind has gone . . . vacant.”

For the first time, Jack was reluctant to offer his assistance. Which made no sense because that was the reason he was here. He was honoring his word to Vale. Yet already, Jack had contributed more than he’d promised. Granted, kissing her hadn’t solely been for her assistance. Nor a lesson in passion. It had been pure, raw desire.

And now, he wasn’t certain he wanted to continue to help her woo Ellery.

“Well, what are your thoughts?” she asked, taking a step closer and placing her hand in his.

When he felt the coolness of her hand, even through her glove, and the gently imploring squeeze of her fingertips, he couldn’t deny her. Resigned, he exhaled. “You are neighbors in Surrey. Perhaps you could speak of that.”

He’d discovered this fact upon his initial inquiries. Since Ellery’s property was in close proximity to her family’s, Jack imagined that was the reason Lilah had set her cap for him. He hoped that was the
only
reason.

“Yes. That is correct,” she said, nodding. Her eyes brightened. She pressed his hand once more before releasing him and reaching up to pat her cheeks. “Am I still pale? A moment ago I was imagining myself standing at the edge of the ballroom, my skin and gown so white that I blended into one of the pilasters. Then, I imagined Lord Ellery stopping to search the faces of waiting debutantes, looking for mine. Yet because of my camouflage, I would have been invisible. And he would have asked Miss Leeds to dance instead.” She drew a breath and then looked sheepish. “I might as well confess to you that I worry . . . on occasion.”

All the worries she possessed found a home inside him, twisting and turning. He had the urge to banish them all for her. If only he could.

“I worry about you as well,” she said softly.

Jack went still, her statement affecting him strangely. A knotted sensation—born of an unnamed longing—filled his stomach. He lifted their linked hands and pressed a kiss to the gloved fingers twined with his. “Why me?”

“When we were standing with your father and sister, I knew it must have been uncomfortable.”

He suddenly wanted to tell her about his life, about the bitterness he carried with him. Instead, he issued a hollow sound, resembling a laugh. “Do not worry about that. Dovermere is constantly intruding in my life. It was time I repaid him.” He glanced out into the hall to ensure the way was clear before he pulled her with him. “Come. You will be missed.”

She followed without argument, which was refreshing for a change. But then, halfway down the hall, her steps slowed. He looked back over his shoulder and motioned her forward. Up ahead, the bright glow of the ballroom spilled onto the blue-and-gold runner. People stood facing the dance floor, their backs to the hall.

“Do you never worry?” she whispered.

He took two strides back to her and further away from being seen, should any of the guests turn around. “No. I take control. I take what I want.”

A wry grin curled her lips. “That is fine for you, but I simply cannot walk up to Lord Ellery and tell him that he is going to marry me.”

A new twist and pull in his stomach made him realize there was another unwelcome emotion in the knotted mess. Jealousy. He’d felt it plenty of times throughout his life. Especially whenever word reached him about his father’s happy family. This was the first time he’d ever been jealous over a woman. “You can if you have no doubts that it is he you want to marry.”

“How can I have anything other than doubts?” she asked, not knowing how much of a balm her words were to Jack. “All I know of him is that the land of his country estate borders my father’s. I’m hoping that he would be willing to help our tenants, even though the land would never belong to him. I’m counting on a great deal from a man with whom I’ve never conversed.”